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Chapter .
Siwoo frowned when he saw Jihoon, who came to his home again without warning. He was annoyed, but suddenly, he felt terrified. If Jihoon no longer showed up like this, Siwoo knew he would feel disappointed. It was just like this when he first began to date Joowan.
He was hurt badly when he broke up with Joowan. To love again and risk getting hurt was a terrifying thought. He wondered if he should stop now, but when he looked at Jihoon, who looked great in a deep grey knitted sweater, his face crumpled into an odd smile.
“Gosh, only if you weren’t so hot… If you weren’t my style…”
“What?”
Jihoon seemed surprised, and he smiled. Unlike Shin, Jihoon’s smile was… neater and more practiced. Shin was strikingly handsome, often grabbing people’s attention, while Jihoon looked more average compared to him. Jihoon always had a faint smile on his face, looking like a typical “nice guy,” but sometimes when you studied him closely, he looked breathtakingly beautiful.
Jihoon’s face looked like he was probably an obedient “good boy,” but there was something perverted about him. Against his better judgement, Siwoo couldn’t help but be attracted to this side of him. Siwoo rubbed his eyebrows and said to Jihoon coldly, “You need to call me before visiting.”
“Hmm… You know I am older than you, right? You should treat me with more respect, like you would to an older brother.”
“… Are you crazy? I’m an only child.”
“Let’s go eat.”
“You don’t have any friends, do you?”
“Nope.”
“… Why not? You look like a nice guy, so why don’t you have friends? I thought you were popular at work. You are known for being social, aren’t you?”
“Being social is something you can easily fake.”
Jihoon smiled, but his smile looked bitter, making Siwoo sigh. This was bad. Very bad. When he first met Jihoon, he was sure Jihoon wasn’t his type. But the more Siwoo got to know him, the more he liked him. Jihoon had a distinct sadness to him. He desperately tried to hide it, and whenever others saw his true self, Jihoon tried to run away. And Siwoo was the type that hung onto guys like this.
Joowan was an exception. Siwoo never felt any extreme emotions around Joowan. His heart never beat like it was going to escape his chest. He never felt uncertain or insecure around Joowan. Their relationship was a slow simmering kind, and that was why Siwoo thought they could last a very long time. Perhaps forever.
Jihoon asked, “What are you thinking about?”
“None of your business.”
“Well, you are dressed Siwoo, so let’s go. I will buy you something good.”
“Stop trying to flirt with me.”
“Is it working?”
Lately, Jihoon Kang hadn’t used coarse or rude words when he was with Siwoo. He must’ve thought that he could relax around Siwoo. Siwoo felt a sudden urge to caress Jihoon’s hair, but he stopped himself.
Siwoo replied, “Nope.”
“Whatever.”
Despite his words, Siwoo knew he was falling for him. The winter in his heart was slowly winding down.
***
Woojin rubbed his forehead as he looked at the text from Eejun.
-I heard you skipped Dr. Yoonil’s session today? Is that true?
Woojin bit his straw and looked up at Shin, who was sitting across from him and eating his eggs and rice.
Shin asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. It just feels like we are practically living together.”
“But we pretty much are.”
“Then you should bring more of your stuff here.”
Shin smiled slowly. His hair was unusually dark and when it was wet, just like now after a shower, it puffed up. When Woojin reached out to flatten it a little, Shin stopped drinking his milk and laughed.
Woojin asked, “Why are you laughing?”
“Because it does feel like we are living together.”
“And you like it?”
“Should I really bring more of my stuff here? Maybe my car too?”
“Ok. I will let the condo manager know and have your car license plate registered.”
Shin looked speechless. In truth, Woojin had been thinking about asking Shin to move in with him for a long time. Suddenly, Shin grabbed Woojin’s wrist, which was adorned with the bracelet Shin gave him.
Shin asked, “… Are you sure?”
“You can just bring half of your stuff for now. When we move to a bigger place…”
“Do you really want to live with me? Are you serious?”
Woojin became a little uncertain as he watched Shin’s eyes widen. Ever since they started to date, Woojin had been feeling countless new emotions. Many of them were indescribable and they changed quickly to different emotions. It was hard to describe their relationship in one word. And it wasn’t that every moment they shared was good. Not being able to read the one you love could be agonizing sometimes.
Woojin frowned slightly before asking slowly, “… Have you never thought of us living together?”
The closer you got to someone, the bigger the risk you gained of getting hurt. It was only natural to want to spend time with the one you love, yet to Woojin, this fact was a brand new discovery. Until he met Shin, he never knew. He always felt more comfortable being alone.
Watching movies alone. Reading alone. Eating alone. Well, at least when he remembered to eat.
The biggest reason he used to prefer being alone was because everyone seemed to feel uncomfortable around him. Then, Shin Kim came along.
Shin was the only exception to this rule. And having only one person in the world he could get close to was the biggest happiness as well as the greatest misfortune to Woojin.
When he clenched his fists nervously, Shin smiled and replied, “I am not purposely trying to make you anxious…”
“…”
“But I can’t help but want to tease you. Especially nowadays when I can read you so much better.”
“… What are you trying to say?”
Woojin wasn’t sure, but he suspected his lips were trembling. Shin, suddenly looking a little rigid, held Woojin’s cheeks gently and kissed him deeply. Shin licked Woojin’s lips and because he leaned too hard against the table, his fork fell on the ground.
Woojin’s lips tasted like orange, kiwi, and grapes. Woojin wanted to hear Shin’s answer, but he also didn’t want this kiss to end. Woojin closed his eyes.
Finally, after a long kiss, Shin replied, “… I’m trying to say that I am happy.”
Shin smiled widely. Shin was nice to everyone, but he was especially considerate to those he liked. Feeling treasured, Woojin’s heart began to beat fast again.
Shin asked, “I want to move in immediately. Is that ok? Are you sure you will be alright with me being around you so much?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“People how are used to living alone can sometimes find it hard to live with someone.”
It was true that Woojin had never lived with anyone before, but all he could feel now was bliss. When he smiled, Shin smiled as well. Shin looked so beautiful that Woojin stared, ignoring his cellphone that continued to vibrate.