Published at 25th of August 2019 11:24 pm

Book 4 Chapter 5 - Where’s He Going?

This chapter is updated by NovelFree.ml

From the side windows of the dome—next to the red bean paste of the “Giant Dorayaki”—sunlight poured in, tinged with a warm bitter orange. The setting sun behind the glass was like a color pencil for a watercolor painting, an extending pale line that seemed to melt into the water splashes. By the way, when was the last time I saw a huge, perfectly round setting sun?

There was always something missing in an urban sunset because of some kind of obstruction. When Shibuki had initially come to Tokyo from Tsugaru, he had absentmindedly thought that he would be probably be used to living in Tokyo when he got used to that. No, he might be leaving Japan before he got used to that, looking up at the sunset in a foreign country instead…

The second half had started just as they came running from the infirmary.

While waiting for his fifth round with Reiji, still breathing heavily, in front, Shibuki’s head dropped suddenly, filled with the talk of him going to America.

America.

The country of American coffee.

NASA and FBI and CIA.

Hollywood and Las Vegas.

A gun society.

As he exhausted his meager background knowledge, an exhaustible excitement welled up within Shibuki’s chest.

Florida. He didn’t know what was there, or what kinds of things were awaiting him. He was excited because he didn’t know. An unknown country. The unknown streets. The unknown people. His heart couldn’t stop palpitating towards that blank future.

Now, Shibuki felt that he truly understood his grandfather’s feelings when he abandoned his hometown at the age of sixteen and went to dive in an unfamiliar city. The Olympics and medals might had been no more than faked excuses. Gramps was just thrilled by a new world and rushed out of his tiny village without controlling the excitement in his chest. He felt like it was just that, and he felt like that was just fine.

Ever since he watched the 16 mm film, Shibuki’s fixation on his grandfather’s bygone days had unbelievably disappeared from within him. He was himself. From the time that he went back to the basics, however, he strangely felt closer to his grandfather than before.

The blood of the Okitsus, which sometimes boiled. The blood of the generations of people who had cast their bodies into the rough seas for the sakes of the village and a good haul. While exposing their lone figures on the precipice, perhaps they had also truly been dreaming of an unknown world over that horizon.

His grandfather Shiraha was the first to take a step forward.

Could he go even further beyond that, and fly out over the sea?

Everything depended on this one battle.

Whether willing or not, the second half cheered him up. Although he was the second person on this staircase, the situation was never favorable. Though he didn’t intend to show it on his face at any cost, his back pain was becoming more and more unbearable with each round. Every time his anxiety increased, Shibuki turned his shoulders and neck to keep his thoughts far away from his back, and then glanced at the yellow dot visible on the first floor of the stands.

Wearing a yellow sweater with a V-neck like a swan’s beak, Kyouko was staring desperately at the unfamiliar diving tower. Every time he saw her occasionally whisper something into Aya-san’s ear, Shibuki’s palpitations weakened for an instant.

I’m going to America.

If he told her that, what would Kyouko say?

If it was the usual Kyouko, she might force a smile, and then fly into a terrible rage about three days later. But, now it felt like she’d aimlessly disappear off somewhere with a smile fixed to her face.

That uncertainty, that mysterious face, were the only things standing in the way of his heart dashing towards a distant foreign country.

_______________________________________________________________

“It’s just the qualifying trials this time, but I thought that I’d come and watch it with Aya-san.” Since Kyouko called him about ten days ago, he had thought that it was really strange.

“I wanted to try watching a competition for once,”

“It’s a decisive match for the Olympics,”

“And I can go sightseeing in Osaka too.”

Although Kyouko gave all sorts of reasons, from the start she only showed interest in Shibuki as a man, keeping a wise distance from him as a diver, and he could not think that she was interested in Osaka. At the end she unconvincingly said that she “wanted to meet Shibuki”, but he told her that when the qualifying trials ended, he will return home in the New Year during winter break. Well, at that time he had thought that it was just a whim and dropped it.

When she called five days ago to say that she had arranged airplane tickets, he was briefly wondering if she was serious. Of course, he was happy to have Kyouko come and support him, but he also felt somewhat embarrassed. When he ventured to say that the travel expenses won’t be cheap, and that she shouldn’t bother to take a day off…Kyouko got angry and asserted that “I want to come no matter what”. When a woman said she’d do something no matter what, there was no longer any way to stop her.

When she called three days ago to ask for the name of his hotel, since she wanted to stay somewhere nearby, he was already completely resigned to it and gave her the name and address of his hotel. Although he added that it would be difficult to meet up because they were doing everything together as a group in Osaka, when he was told that she’d be happy if they could meet for just a little bit, he came to feel that well, he too would feel happy if they could meet.

And then when he received the “I’m in Osaka now” mail from her on his phone while sightseeing in Kobe yesterday, Shibuki secretly waited for a chance to leave the MDC group.

Fortunately, they returned to Osaka at eight P.M. He immediately called Kyouko’s phone to meet up at the family restaurant diagonally opposite to the hotel. After that, he had planned on leaving the hotel after saying a quick greeting to Reiji and Sachiya, but then the shocking truth about Kayoko (though it was groundless) came to light. Being informed that Kayoko was going to leave the MDC was a great damage to everyone, and for a short while, Shibuki forgot about Kyouko.

It was nine-twenty when they broke up from their mutual depressions and the mutual despair hanging over them. Only entering his shared room with Ooshima to tell him that he was heading out, when he finally dashed out to where Kyouko was, he readied himself to take a reasonable amount of scolding and to treat her to a cake. But, Kyouko was staring listlessly outside at a table by the window, and her eyes were empty even when she noticed Shibuki, only smiling faintly.

There was no one who had expressions as easy to read as Kyouko’s. When she felt dispirited she looked dispirited, and when she put on a brave front she looked brave. And, when she was hiding something, she hid her face.

“Is something wrong?”

“About what?”

“No, never mind. Are you alright?”

“Is it alright for you to do this the day before the competition, Shibuki?”

“This kind of thing is okay, but my roommate told me that I’d have to stop having sex since it’d affect me the next day.”

“Idiot.”

Though she pretended to be her usual self, Kyouko never tried to meet Shibuki’s eyes for more than three seconds. Even when she saw the blueberry yogurt that Shibuki ordered, she didn’t wrinkle her nose and say “what a weird color” like usual.

“By the way…”

Shibuki was puzzled, and his gaze wandered around like he was looking for a switch to change that strange atmosphere. He then eventually took out a seashell with a red string threaded through it from his jeans pocket.

“Aya-san gave me this, so I brought it with me.”

“Ah. The amulet.”

“So, how’s Aya-san?”

“She’s sleeping at our hotel. She didn’t sleep enough last night because she was excited, since it’s been a long time since she travelled.”

“Even though she came all this way I couldn’t do anything for her. That’s really terrible of me.”

“It’s fine. We properly went to Tsutenkaku to get the stamps, ate takoyaki, and took pictures with Kuidaore Tarou.” (1)

Kyouko said, manufacturing a smile like there was a lie somewhere.

Her hairstyle changed a little bit. The tip of her nose that had peeled off during the summer had returned to its original color. Her cheeks had hollowed slightly.

What is she hiding?

“Kyouko.”

“What?”

“If I lose tomorrow’s competition, I’ll be returning to Tsugaru for good next time.”

Even he was surprised at the confession that suddenly rushed out from his mouth.

“It seems like our woman coach will be quitting the MDC at the end of tomorrow’s competition. I heard it from a clubmate just a while ago. That’s not the reason, but if I can’t get into the Olympics either, then I think I’ll be washing my hands of diving for sure this time.”

Although he hadn’t planned on revealing that to Kyouko right now, that was something Shibuki had decided on a long time ago.

It was about four months since he escaped back to Tsugaru once and then returned to Tokyo. Acupuncture. Shiatsu (2). Seitai (2). Qigong. Electrotherapy. While soothing his pained back by every means possible, Shibuki worked hard with Kayoko on the swan dive. It was a harder journey than he had thought.

He was just flying. Shibuki’s trademark power wasn’t enough for charming the spectators with that extremely simple dive. From the top of the head to the tips of his toes, he must make good use of all of his nerves and all of his muscles to express that impeccable beauty. “First, you need to learn how to make delicate movements,” Kayoko emphasized.

“Your wild charm is fine. Your dynamism is quite good as well. But what you are trying for isn’t a condor, but a swan’s dance.”

To raise his awareness to beauty, Kayoko took Shibuki around to ballets, art exhibitions, and traditional Japanese gardens. It wasn’t limited to such special occasions either—for example, picking a wild flower by the roadside—and Shibuki had to acknowledge what Kayoko was saying. That indeed, beautiful things concealed a delicacy somewhere. And so as if to confirm that, Shibuki visited Akita’s Jumonji district, famous for its visiting swans, in mid-October by himself.

Every year at Jumonji’s Minase River, thousands of swans come to rest their wings there. The white flock floating on the river surface was stunning, but the whooper swans, weighing around ten kilograms, did not try to spread their wings widely because of their weight. Shibuki stuck around until sunset as the cold wind blew fiercely, and finally witnessed one swan taking off. His eyes almost popped out of their sockets as he saw it flap its large wings, the power of the swan as it soared into the red sky, its beautiful silhouette—. Yes, it was just as Kayoko had said. While setting loose its wild gallantry, the swan also expressed its impeccable beauty, with its wings, beak, and feet.

When Kayoko suddenly announced one day that he will be taking ballet lessons next week, although he flew into a rage wondering if she was asking for a fight, he voluntarily reviewed the steps after seeing that swan’s dance. However, the ballet lessons were the only thing he still hadn’t told Kyouko about. That was because of the risk of his dignity as a man and a human being affected if it was known that his legs had passed through those snug tights.

Living with that shame, Shibuki had techniques drilled into him by his spartan ballet teacher on making his consciousness go through to every nook and cranny of his body where his nerves never reached, from his fingers to his toes.

The results were excellent. Kayoko told him that his top form was exceptionally beautiful, and as such Shibuki also gained confidence. But on the other hand, as he went through with the swan dive step by step, recently another kind of unease flitted through his mind.

What if this swan dive, his last trump card, wasn’t able to pass through the competition?

He’ll try his very best to adopt his acquired beauty with his innate power, but what if the results still don’t arrive regardless?

If it were an ordinary athlete, they would probably feel sad for a while, and then switch gears to the next stage, commencing the pursuit of a higher-level technique, a better performance. But for Shibuki with his ailing back, he wasn’t able to pursue higher-level techniques.

Even if he got cheers from his swan dive, this technique wasn’t something that could be used many times on the world stage, Shibuki knew that very well. The first couple of times might make the audience go ooh-and-aah, erupt into applause, and give them some sort of deep emotion. But for the third time, perhaps, they will be bored. Kayoko expressly chose the sea of Chiba as the practice ground for the swan dive not because they were returning to the primitive form of a diving competition once again, but probably in order to treat this technique as top secret until the actual match.

In other words, it meant that whether the swan dive went well or not, he had a limit in any case.

November 19th. The final battle for Sydney. When the battle was over, Youichi and Tomoki will grow up a level whether they win or lose, and rapidly advance to a new stage. But he couldn’t advance with them. In order to hang out with them, to compete with them, Shibuki returned, but even so he still hadn’t found a motive to stay in Tokyo.

“Tomorrow, I’ll be competing against Fujitani and Sakai once again at that huge dome. That alone is enough to satisfy me.”

The thought that he told to Kyouko wasn’t entirely a bluff.

“I’ll just get out there and do it, do the best I can do, and if I lose, I’ll return to Tsugaru. I’ll have sex with Kyouko every night at the village, get married after graduating high school, have kids, buy a boat, and fish the tastiest fish on that day for my family to eat.”

Those thoughts were never a lie either.

However, Kyouko’s expression was stiff, as though she had foreseen that Shibuki would be going to America, even though Shibuki himself didn’t even know at that time. For the first time, her eyes showed doubt at the future the two of them had always drawn together. And the dimples, which never failed to show up when he talked about “getting married after graduating high school”, went missing on this day.

At that moment, Shibuki finally realized it.

Oh, is Kyouko shaking…?

Always leaving her alone, never calling her himself, and often falling asleep in the middle of their conversations when she called him. He wasn’t Tomoki, but he had thought that he wouldn’t be able to say anything when she had a change of heart about him.

But, as soon as he approached that crisis, he was so flustered that it was pathetic.

“Kyouko. Would you like me to lose?”

And that’s why, he asked a stupid question.

“Do you want me to lose and return to Tsugaru?”

Kyouko dropped her eyes to the lemon floating on her iced tea. She hated mixing things and making them cloudy, and so she never added milk to her drinks. Once, Shibuki had mixed chocolate ice cream with orange juice; she had made a face of utter contempt and did not speak for a while.

Kyouko, who finally turned to face Shibuki, had the same look on her face from that time.

“Shibuki. You’ve always held a grudge against the people of the village, didn’t you? Even though they supported Gramps’ dream and pooled money for the expedition costs to the Olympics, as soon as Gramps’ dream got crushed and he returned, they changed their attitude completely and turned cold to him. But I understand those feelings they had. Gramps’ dream was everyone’s dream. Everyone who couldn’t fly out of that tiny village entrusted their dream to Gramps, who did flew, and earnestly supported him…they were probably too earnest. So when the dream was crushed, they got too sad, too frustrated, and Gramps got hated. But even so, I think it was good to have Gramps there after all. Thanks to him, everyone was able to dream, get excited, and shine together.”

Kyouko looked at Shibuki, as though penetrating him with her clear eyes.

“Shibuki’s dream is everyone’s dream.”

“…”

“I want you to win.”

“…”

“Win.”

Shibuki hung his head, unable to bear it.

“Sorry. You heard something stupid.”

“If you win, I’ll forgive you.”

Kyouko said, finally smiling a genuine smile.

Nonetheless, Kyouko did not return to her usual self, and even while he escorted her back to her hotel, her mind still wasn’t there, like her soul was lightly roaming the freezing sky.

“Kyouko.”

Kyouko said everything she wanted to say with her face, and unless she herself felt like it, she didn’t talk about anything with her mouth. Despite thinking it was useless to ask anything, Shibuki asked only one thing when they were about to part.

“What did you really come here for?”

After a moment of confusion, Kyouko answered.

“To confirm.”

“Confirm what?”

“About myself.”

“Did you confirm anything?”

“Maybe I’ll know tomorrow when I watch you dive.”

Shibuki didn’t try to question Kyouko any further, and stroked her black hair that held the cold night air while drawing her closer. The smell of fresh fruit. Only the smell of her shampoo hadn’t changed. He kissed her glossy lips with a strange sense of relief.

He decided that the farewell kiss with Kyouko would be within three seconds. Because he wouldn’t be able to leave her if they touched any more than that.

“Well then, see you tomorrow.”

For the sake of keeping his promise with Ooshima, Shibuki separated himself in order to shake off any lingering attachment.

He was worried about Kyouko.

But, now he was also worried about tomorrow’s competition and Kayoko.

When all those worries exceeded a certain capacity, Shibuki became very sleepy.

For now, I’ll go back and sleep, Shibuki thought as he jogged back to his hotel, but there, he witnessed one more worrying thing. When he tried to get off the elevator to the seventh floor, just for a second the neighbouring elevator opened, letting off a face that he recognized.

It was Youichi.

Because of his feeling of guilt from meeting with Kyouko, Shibuki immediately hid himself. The receding figure of Youichi as he headed back to his room without noticing him displayed an extreme unreliability and instability. It looked like he went to a public bath, since his hair was wet. He wondered if he had intended to go to the baths to sooth his fatigue, but ended up taking too long and getting dizzy.

There’s a surprisingly stupid side to him.

Shibuki wrongly assumed, concerned about Youichi’s body condition while also feeling slightly relaxed. And so even though he personally witnessed Youichi’s terrible condition at the competition next day, he kept thinking that it was because of his dizziness from the long hot bath.

The one who’s stupid is me.

When he finally realized it, it was in the infirmary during intermission where he was informed of the truth.

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The fifth round came after the intermission, and there was no disturbance in the water for the first of the free-choice dives except when Tenri High’s Ogawa messed up the entry of his inward 3½ forward somersaults in tuck position. As everyone steadily gained points, Youichi’s turn was about to come.

Youichi, who seemed tired, had ascended the steps with his back bent, and advanced one step towards the platform that the spectators were watching. At that moment, as though something possessed him, his body harboured an unrelenting spirit and tightened by it.

There’s no match for him, Shibuki thought at that moment. While he was meeting with Kyouko, Youichi was practicing in the pool until the very end. Even when Shibuki was mourning the fleetingness of three seconds, Youichi didn’t forget the preciousness of 1.4 seconds. That difference, that pride that consisted of continuing to work harder than anyone else, was probably the spirit that was sustaining him at this eleventh hour.

There’s no match for him.

But, I can’t afford to lose either.

And now, one more person—. Shibuki turned to Tomoki, who was waiting for his turn two spots behind him. Sure enough, he couldn’t stand to watch Youichi because of worry, but it was cowardly to avert his eyes, but…his face expressed such conflict.

The goodness of someone who had that much empathy for their rivals. On the flip side, for an athlete it was also naivete. To be honest, Shibuki was sometimes irritated with that part of Tomoki. As normal friends it was great, but as rivals maybe it was too soft.

However, as soon as he left the ground, his body sparkled with an intense aura in an instant. As though he was a water spirit released from his weight, clad in sashes of light over and over and dancing. That unworldly lightness. That suppleness. He couldn’t help but think that Tomoki was gifted with those things at birth, instead of gaining them through hard work like himself and Youichi.

That was why he was afraid of Tomoki. Maybe more than he was of Youichi.

When Shibuki bit his molars, Youichi’s back floated up into the air, jumping out of sight. A small sound of cutting through water. The water surface was a bit disturbed, but with this performance it was the first time today that he got two 8 points from the judges.

It was expected that he was able to only do that much of a performance with his fever.

But, could Youichi’s body really last until the end?

Would his own back be able to endure severe pain until his final entry after six rounds?

Could he endure, win, and take off to a new world unexplored by any Okitsu?

And Kyouko…

Shibuki’s turn came after Camel, who had disappeared beneath the water after Youichi, and as he slowly advanced to the tip of the dragon, the questions that occupied his head from last night returned.

Continuing to dive like Kyouko said, or returning to his hometown; which one did he truly want?

Or, did he no longer want either of them?

Kyouko said that she wanted to confirm something. She said she might know if she watched Shibuki dive.

Shibuki wanted to confirm them.

His own future.

Kyouko’s feelings.

The outcomes of Youichi’s and Tomoki’s dreams.

For that to happen, he first had to try flying away from here.

He arrived at the tip of the platform, touching the lights of the ceiling that resembled distant fishing fires (3). At that moment, the whistle that announced the start of the performance echoed in Shibuki’s ears.

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Rankings as of the Fifth Round (Cumulative)

① Okitsu Shibuki (285.21 points)

② Yamada Atsuhiko (264.84 points)

③ Asama Takashi (251.85 points)

④ Sakai Tomoki (250.95 points)

⑤ Kaburagi Shinji (246.21 points)

⑥ Nakayama Masahiko (236.94 points)

⑦ Matsuno Kiyotaka (233.91 points)

⑧ Ogawa Shinobu (233.29 points)

⑨ Moriya Kazuteru (215.64 points)

⑩ Tsuji Toshihiko (205.35 points)

⑪ Maruyama Reiji (204.42 points)

⑫ Fujitani Youichi (200.43 points)

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Translation Notes

1.Kuidaore Tarou was a famous clown mascot of the restuarant Cui-Daoré, which closed down in 2008, however he is still around in Osaka today and considered a regional symbol.

2. Shiatsu is a technique that involves massaging the body with fingers and palms, and stretching it. Seitai, according to jisho, is “ manipulative therapy based on Chinese and Japanese traditions, and encompassing osteopathy, massage and chiropractic​ “

3.Fishing fires refer fires set to lure fish in at night.

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