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153 – Break
Seras checked the time.
[It’s time to change shifts.]
……It’s already time huh.
I follow Seras as we go further into the cave.
Releasing the effect of my
The awoken Eve looks at her side.
[Is it alright to let Liz rest some more?]
[Yeah, it’s fine to let her sleep for now.]
This cave is quite narrow.
Liz has shrunk her body as she sleeps.
Slei is sleeping in a prone position.
Pigimaru whose very size itself could fit in anywhere.
The innermost part of the cave is occupied by these three.
You could only fit two human-sized people in the remaining space.
One person has to get out.
[We’ll leave immediately after I wake up.]
[Acknowledged.]
I would like to go to the Witch’s home as soon as possible.
However, it would be quite tough considering the wounds and fatigue in our body.
We don’t have any idea what we may face ahead of us.
We should get some rest and make sure that we have adequate strength to travel.
Eve already went outside.
If it’s her, I could safely entrust the sentry job to her……
Now then…
[Let’s sleep.]
[Yes, let’s do so.]
Arranging the hem of her clothes, Seras kneels down on the laid out cloth.
I will sleep on the cloth laid out next to hers.
The warmness of Eve’s body still remains on the cloth.
Using my arm as my pillow, I close my eyes.
[…………………….]
I can’t sleep.
If I were to invoke
As one would expect, that would be really risky.
I wouldn’t be able to deal with any sudden threats.
[——You can’t sleep?]
[It seems that I’m still alert from that battle earlier that I couldn’t sleep. Well, I should be able to sleep after some time lying down here…]
[Well then…]
Pat pat.
Seras tapped her lap.
[I don’t know if this will be able to suppress your alertness though.]
[……Is this retaliation for what happened before?]
I gave her a lap pillow before.
[Unlike that time, I don’t intend for this suggestion to be a joke, you know?]
[Just sleep.]
[Umm…… I’m actually too alert to sleep.]
I see.
So, that would be your charade huh.
I understood it from the tone of her voice.
It appears that she wants me to do it that much.
[……………..Then, don’t mind if I do.]
Slightly shifting my body, I place my head on Seras’ lap.
Her lap feels different from ordinary pillows.
Because of her body temperature, the presence of her heat also makes a difference.
[I would get a lap pillow from my aunt back then.]
[…………………]
[……Seras?]
Looking up from her lap, I could see Seras’ face over her chest.
She’s also looking back at me……
Her blue eyes were just staring blankly at me.
[Seras.]
[……Eh?]
[Are you tired for the day?]
[——-Ah, ……That’s maybe so. As expected, I may also be tired for the day.]
[That’s enough of the lap pillow, you should gain some rest.]
[Yes—- Umm, Touka-dono.]
Gulp
Seras gulped down.
[You’re aware of it, right?]
Hmm?
Aware of it?
I start getting up from her lap, only to be stopped.
[What are you talking about?]
[The way you treat me has been changing, little by little.]
Is that so?
[You realized that?]
[Yes, I did.]
For instance.
The way I call her slightly changed from “you (anta)” to “you (omae)”.
I changed it that way thinking about the difference of how distant I am towards her compared with other people.
I was trying to act natural with that change.
……However, I guess it didn’t turn as flawless as I thought.
[I’m now in a position where I give instructions to others…… I feel that if I don’t start making my “behaviour fitting for a leader”, I feel like there would be some difficulties when I command the group in the future.]
The same is also true for Eve.
Actually, Eve looks like she had some difficulties with that.
However, my instructions and her movements began to perfectly mesh with each other after I changed it.
I match eyes with Seras who’s looking down towards me.
[Are you uncomfortable with that?]
[No. It’s just that…]
Seras places her hands on both of the sides of my head.
As if she’s wrapping her arms around me.
[You don’t have to hold everything by yourself.]
[……Did I really look that tired?]
[Just like that time when all those monsters attacked simultaneously, Touka-dono acted like you’re going to deal with all of them. Looking at how you acted at that time, Eve and Liz seemed to feel reassured.]
Seras started combing my bangs with her thin fingers.
……I see.
I then noticed.
[You noticed some lies mixed within my words huh.]
[—–Yes.]
She saw through my “bluff” with the power of the spirit.
[If we want to deal with that amount of monsters, the only way would be my combination with Pigimaru and my Abnormal State Skill…… If I look anxious even a little bit, Eve and Liz would get anxious themselves. Especially since you know that Eve had that personality of hers, right? If they were to get even more guilty, they would definitely act self-sacrificing again.]
Therefore, I needed to make sure that they’re reassured.
That if it’s Touka, it would be alright.
That if it’s Touka, he would definitely survive.
That if it’s Touka… he would prevail against those monsters.
Making use of my attitude and facial expression, It was necessary to make them think so.
Well, in the end, Eve still came out of the cave afterwards.
[……Sometimes, I would get scared. One day, Touka-dono who had overburdened himself…… and would suddenly break. That’s what I’m worried about.]
[……………………]
In fact, Seras’ worries had turned real when things turned for the worst earlier—-
[——-I somehow managed to defeat them but…… Well, this wouldn’t turn into a pattern where I would promise not to do that, you know?]
“Kuku…” I laughed a bit.
[Touka-dono……?]
“The worst”
The environment that I left behind when I was young.
That was exactly “the worst” situation for me.
A narrow apartment.
“I’ll break your arm, brat.”
“Lower your head, brat.”
“You brat, I’ll f*cking kill you.”
“Hey, you became a little thinner, Touka! Here’s a detergent juice! Drink it!”
“What’s with your look, Touka…… Oi, want me to break them? You want me to break them that much?”
“Why the f*ck did I have to give birth to you…… Why can’t I just f*cking abort you? Can’t you just be a little bit considerate and die while you’re in my f*cking belly, Touka!?”
A really narrow hell.
At that time……
Filled with killing intent, I thought of ways to become stronger.
———-If you’re going to break me, let me see how you do that———–
[I don’t know about other people but…… I don’t think those monsters would be able to break me that easily.]
Perhaps, I’ve already passed through what I considered as the “worst”.
I’m sure. There’s nothing that could be even worse for me.
[……………………….]
That time when I slapped my middle finger to that goddess’ face.
The Disposal Ruins afterwards.
Through those things, I returned back to the “Touka” from back then.
And with time…
I found that the “normal” that I built up has disappeared within me.
If I had remained “normal”, I might have been quickly broken in this world.
[However, that may be just something that Touka-dono thought—-]
[Seras.]
I raise my right hand.
I put my hand on Seras’ smooth cheek.
She didn’t quiver at all nor did she turn her eyes away.
[What is it?]
[If you’re really that worried about me, you don’t need to do something like that—–]
It’s better this way.
[You just need to support me with the best that you can.]
[—————Yes.]
A clear and dignified answer.
Seras gently held my right hand with her own.
[Please leave it to me, Touka-dono.]
I pull back my hand.
And Seras’ hand naturally pulled her own hands away.
[Umm…… However, please don’t hesitate to tell me anything when you’re having a difficult time. If it’s something that I can do, I’ll do my best to help.]
[You’re still the same overly caring deputy leader, aren’t you?]
“Pfft…” Seras smiles back.
[I wish you could at least describe me as a dedicated person.
[My sister.]
[Eh?]
[If I had a sister, I feel like she would be someone like this.]
[……………..]
[……………..]
[Speaking of which, how old are you, Touka-dono?]
Hmm?
Did I not tell her about it before?
I tell her my age. (T/N: His age is also not stated in the raws.)
Then… Seras blinked as she looked at me in surprise.
[Eh? Touka-dono…… You’re younger than me!?]
[Well, aren’t High Elves supposed to be a long-lived race? I suppose that would be quite obvious……]
That’s why I had some difficulty getting accustomed to this commanding tone.
Seras pointed to herself.
[I’m 19.]
Eh?
[Your age?]
Seras nodded in response.
…………………
She was a lot younger than I thought.
I mean…… Whether it’s the amount of books she has read or the amount of knowledge she knows, both of them were quite a lot.
[I was convinced that you have been living for more that 100 years already……]
The intellectual Seras looks bewildered as she begins to explain.
[Umm, you see…… we call the period where we were the most active throughout our life as the “active period”…… Comparing the Elven race with the other races, it can be said that our active period is longer than them.]
Doesn’t that just mean they have a long healthy lifespan?
Plus, add in anti-aging on top of that—- or so that’s what I think.
[However, there are some people whose appearance and age are not so different from those of humans. There are some that have a short active period and some of them may even have a life span that is almost as short as a human.]
And, the High Elves were a race whose active period tends to be particularly long.
The young active period of their life would usually last until they’re 100 to 200 years old.
“There were some High Elves who were like that.” or so she said.
However, it has only been 19 years since Seras was born.
Therefore, she still hasn’t reached the age where her active period was measured.
I see…… Seras is a relatively young High Elf huh.
[19 huh.]
Hmm?
[——wait. To begin with, how old did you think I am?]
[I thought you’re around your early twenties to about mid twenties…… Umm…… It’s because you’re too calm that I thought you’re around that age…]
[……I see.]
A little jokingly, I said.
[So, will I get to be treated as your little brother from now on?]
[N- No—– You’re the King of this “Fly King Squadron”. I have no intention of changing my attitude towards the king to whom I have sworn allegiance, even though he is younger. Please, rest assured.]
[……Fly King huh.]
The King of Flies.
[However, I only wear the fly king mask to hide my face… Well, I did like the mask though. However, as expected, I don’t think I have the calibre to be a king.]
(T/N: the vessel/calibre of a king. they’re talking about the same vessel here that kirihara brags about, but I think calibre is more appropriate in this case.)
[No, Touka-dono.]
Seras brings her face closer to me.
[You already are my—-]
Her lustrous blonde hair hung languidly on her white cheeks.
[—-irreplaceable, one and only king.]
□
Before I knew it, my consciousness was fading.
It seems that I’m finally getting sleepy.
My consciousness falls down into the deep darkness.
[………… -ka………. –no………. you……… -py?]
(T/N: not sure myself what she’s saying here.)
I think…… Seras is saying something.
However, I don’t know what she’s saying.
Discomfort.
A strange warmth.
Only the pleasant feeling coming from somewhere gently brushes along with the surface of my consciousness as it drifts away.
That’s when I fell unconscious—–
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