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Sasuke was walking away from me.
He was not walking either quickly or slowly.
Just … with no hesitation.
Is … he … leaving me?
No. He … my Sasuke … he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t!
But … that look he gave me just now … it was so cold, as if we didn’t know each other at all.
I know that the curse seal is influencing him … but the seal cannot just create random thoughts inside of his head. Kurama and I know at least that much. The curse seal … amplifies certain emotions. It amplifies hatred that is already there.
“Sasuke.” I called out.
He didn’t stop. He didn’t say anything. He just continued walking to wherever he was going.
“Sasuke!” I yelled.
Am I air? Does he not hear me? Am I really less important than his amplified hatred?
I thought, what we have, is something deeper … something that a puny curse seal like this cannot break.
Let’s try something else … it’s too early to give up on all of that yet.
I appeared in front of him and looked into his cold eyes.
They regarded me with no apparent emotion in them.
“Sasuke. Stop this. This isn’t the you that I fell in love with. Get yourself together.” I said, looking at him with a frown on my face.
He walked past me, ignoring my words, which made my eyes widen in surprise.
I appeared in front of him again and pushed him to the ground.
I sat down on his waist and bent over to look him right into the eyes.
“Sasuke, wake up.” I whispered as I closed in on his lips and kissed him.
His lips were still the same soft lips that always managed to lift my mood when I kissed them.
I let go and saw clarity return to his eyes, yet he tried keeping a cold expression on his face … though, his slightly red ears betrayed him.
I see, he wants to play a game. At this time?
I mean … okay~.
I closed in on one of his blushing ears and whispered with the softest voice I could muster: “Darling~, you got to wake up, okay?” After that I gently breathed into his ear, making him tremble. I moved in to kiss his ear, giving him the last push and he was finally unable to endure it anymore.
He grabbed my waist and gently threw me onto the ground next to him, before leaning above me and staring right into my eyes.
He had a cool Uchiha-styled smirk on his face as he said: “Well, how could I not wake up when you so gently coax me, little fox~.”
I could feel my cheeks heat up at his words.
Like, honestly, if he wasn’t that cold to me with his curse mark on his body, then it’d make him look cool~.
He moved in to kiss me, making me melt into his lips instantly.
Like, how could I not? He was so damn gentle and loving right now, that’s a total contrast to the coldness he showed me before.
This is the Sasuke I know and love.
As for the other one … I don’t know. I don’t want him if I can have this one.
“Little fox, I’m sorry. Orochimaru’s ‘gift’ … made me relive all the painful things that happened in my life and I had a momentary lapse of control. Thank you, so, so much for bringing me back.” He said.
I pushed him off me and onto his back before using his arm as a pillow and cuddling to his body, desiring the familiar warmth it gave off.
“It’s okay. Just don’t leave me …” I said, to which he flinched.
Something was wrong. I mean … I noticed it before that too, but that flinch told me everything. He was hiding something from me.
And it had something to do with him leaving me.
Slowly, I raised my head and looked him straight into the eyes: “What. Are you leaving me?”
His eyes widened, clearly not having expected this question right now.
“Uhm …” He stuttered, not knowing how to answer me, or so I thought.
“At least tell me why and when. I deserve to know that, if you already don’t want me to come with you.” I said, coldly looking into his eyes.
His eyes were filled with sadness, but there was also a certain part that just reeked of resolve and determination, making me rather … uhm … disappointed? No. That’s not it. Perhaps I’m just sad … that I am not as important … as the thing that he is leaving me for.
Now I know, however, that it is a conscious decision that he is making. And that hurts even more.
He closed his eyes, a tear rolling down his face.
“You don’t want to tell me why, okay … I understand. But, you can’t even tell me when you will be leaving? Do you even understand … how much … this already hurts me?” I say, in an angry voice while tears start running down my face.
“It … it … it hurts me too!” He shouted, while tears started running down his face.
“Hah~? You dare to say this … when you are the one choosing to leave?” I say, not believing his words.
“Yes. But I need to leave … I need to become stronger … to protect you.” He said, his voice slightly cracking.
Protect me? Do I even need that? Is he serious?!
“Yes. I know … you are strong. Maybe even stronger than I’ll ever be … but … I want to protect you … and I can feel it. As long as I am with you, I won’t be able to reach that strength. My eyes … they need sadness and misery and hatred to evolve. I’ll get all of that on the path to revenge … and my brother … is waiting for me.” He said.
“What? And being with me makes you weak?” I question.
He shook his head. “No it doesn’t. It makes me feel good and loved and happy. But, I when I am in danger … I always think about how it’d be nice if you were there to solve my problems for me … and I … as an Uchiha and … as myself … cannot accept that. I want to be the one protecting you, Naru! Can you understand that?!”
He practically screamed the last words, his eyes were wide open and they contained a flood of emotions.
But … I could only shake my head.
“No, I can’t understand. I would never trade happiness and safety for unnecessary power.”
“Then … no. Perhaps you can’t understand because you have all that power already!” He shouted.
Are we actually arguing about this right now?
We’ve never had one of these famous lover’s quarrels before.
And … I’m happy we didn’t have any of those until now … because this hurts. It hurts, deep inside of me.
I almost can’t breathe right now, that’s how much it hurts.
“Yes. Perhaps that’s right. Perhaps it’s because I’m so strong that I don’t understand your desire to be unhappy! But … okay. That’s on you, you just do your thing. Leave if you need to … but know … that I’m not waiting for you. (I will wait for you, always.)”
Why am I even saying these things … this is not what I wanted to say …
I got up from the ground, looked at him for a second more, before walking back towards the place where Naruto and the rest were waiting.
I just left him to cry on the ground. Well, he certainly isn’t the only one crying. And … my tears just won’t stop …
God. Why did I even say all these things … why couldn’t I just … I don’t know ... say that I’ll wait … or at least ask him to take me with him or something? Though … that’d defeat the purpose of him leaving … wouldn’t it? I smiled wryly.
After a few long minutes, I finally reached the cave where I could still feel the chakra signatures of Naruto and Sakura. Ino, Shikamaru and Choji must have left at some point.
I walked towards them, still crying.
Naruto and Sakura looked at me in concern, but did not say anything as Sakura stood up and opened her arms.
I gladly accepted her hug and cried into her gentle embrace.
After some time, she sat me down on the ground and made me lean onto the cave wall.
She sat next to me and made me rest my head on her shoulder.
“Sleep for a bit, okay?” She asked gently.
“Thank you.” I mumbled before closing my eyes and falling asleep.