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“So it’s true then? You and the Ryōgi girl have hooked up?”
I almost turn the coffee milk in my mouth into a projectile at what Gaku- to just said. I go into a coughing fit after almost choking on the damn thing, but it does give me a scant few seconds to scan the classroom for anyone who heard that. Everyone seems to be busy minding their own lunchtime business.
“What do you mean?” I finally manage to say after gulping down my drink.
“Don’t be playin’ dumb with me.” Gakuto’s face looks like he wants to shift the blame away from himself. “It ain’t no secret that you’ve been eye- ing Ryōgi. Matter of fact, judging from the reaction you just made, seems the only ones who ain’t wise to it are the both of you.”
I can’t see myself so I can’t really say, but I think I might inadvertently be making the most disappointed frown I’ve ever made in my life.
The increasingly frigid winds and rapidly decreasing temperature signal November and the advent of winter, meaning that it’s been seven months since I first met Shiki. The time and our tendency to hang out together must have given people the wrong impression.
“I’m sorry to say that you have been misinformed,” I finally say. “We’re just friends, if you could even call it that.”
“That a fact?” His continued disbelief exasperates me. That Gakuto’s parents stuck him with a name meaning “man of learning” is the textbook definition of irony. It goes against his thick-headedness and his entire ten- dency to gravitate towards sports and less towards academically inclined pursuits. His status as the pride of the jūdō team attested to that more than anything. Despite our seeming incompatibility, we’ve struck a friend- ship that started way back in grade school that somehow sticks to this day. “You’re on a first name basis, though,” he continues. “She don’t seem like the kind of broad to just let that go without a warning.”
“Shiki really hates being called by her last name, though. I called her ‘Ryōgi’ one time just to see what happened, and she gave me a look as if I just killed her pet dog or something. She insisted that I not be formal with her, so I ended up just calling her by her first name. Pretty boring, huh?”
“Yeah, I guess so,” he finally concedes after a sigh and a five second delay. He looks really disappointed, leaving me to wonder what kind of crazy story he was expecting. “Then your rendezvous last week at the school entrance wasn’t a thing, either? This is a waste of time man, talking to you expecting details. Shoulda just shut up and ate my lunch back in the classroom.”
“Wait, back it up. How the hell do you know about last week?”
“I told you, boy, you and Ryōgi are famous. Mostly because of Ryōgi, but whatever. Your rainy day get-together was this morning’s hallway talk. Since it’s about Ryōgi, every mouth in this damn school been talking.”
I let out a frustrated sigh and cast a gloomy look at the sky, silently pray- ing that this mess doesn’t reach Shiki’ ears. She’d kill me.
“They say this school has a lot of college entrants that turn out well, don’t they? I’m starting to wonder if people here really are that smart,” I blurt out half-jokingly.
“Well, if it’s any consolation, at least some of the upperclassmen got work out of this here school,” he replies matter-of-factly. I’m about to make another joke at the expense of the school’s administration and curriculum when Gakuto chimes in again. “Seriously, though, there’s one thing that don’t sit right with me: of all the fine girls in this school, why Ryōgi? Which- ever way you wanna spin it, it just don’t seem at all like you.”
I recall being told something similar by one of my friends in the higher year level. I was told a more down-to-earth girl would suit me more, with the not-so-subtle hint that Shiki was altogether too strange. The words are different but I recognize the same sort of subtle insinuation in what Gakuto just said, and it makes me a little angry.
“Oh, come off it. Shiki isn’t as scary as you make her out to be,” I say inadvertently. Gakuto suddenly makes a huge, stupid grin, as if finally claiming some elusive prize.
“’Just a friend,’ huh? Easy, man, no need to raise your voice at me. Just curious, is all. Scary chicks like that don’t come a dime a dozen, you feel me? You not seeing how cold she is just means you already crazy for her.” He must mean “hard-headed and obstinate” when he says “cold”, because that’s the only way I’d describe Shiki. I know Gakuto’s right, so
only with reluctance do I finally concede.
“I know, alright? Okay, you got me, Christ.”
“Then what part of her do you like? Her looks? What?” I have no idea what’s motivating him and his drive to ask every single detailed question. Well, it’s clear that Shiki is good looking, no doubt about it. But that’s not what really draws me to her. Shikialways looks like she’s hiding some invis- ible wound, some fragile part of her that’s on the verge of breaking and eating her from the inside out, killing her slowly. You see the emptiness in her face, her thousand-yard stare, and you realize it isn’t just some conve- nient metaphor; it’s real, somehow, and she needs help. I don’t want to see her get hurt.
“Well, she does have her cute sides,” I venture hesitantly. “If I were to compare her to an animal, she’d be a rabbit I guess.” As soon as I say that, I regret it immediately. It’s a big hit with Gakuto, however, who laughs heart- ily upon hearing it almost reflexively.
“A rabbit? Man, that ain’t even half right and you know it. If she were an animal, she’d be a hawk that can claw the shit outta your eyes, or some shit like that. A rabbit is just…” he tries to find his words amid bouts of laughter. “…just too far off the scale. Or wait, wait. Maybe she’s the kind of bird that dies from loneliness?” Another huge laugh.
“That’s it. I’m not talking to you about girls anymore.”
All of a sudden, Gakuto’s laughter stops. “Know what? A rabbit might’ve been a good comparison after all.”
Now it is my turn to laugh, though I manage to suppress the urge. “Gakuto, an about-face that quick is pretty suspicious, don’t you think?”
“Nah, nah, it ain’t about that. I just remembered that there’re rabbits that can bite your head off if you’re not careful, man.”
After thinking on it perhaps a moment longer than I should have, I respond. “Bullshit.”
“Boy, of course it’s bullshit,” Gakuto says, stretching his arms and lean- ing back on his seat. “I’m talking ‘bout video games, man.”