Published at 25th of August 2019 8:21 pm

Chapter 39: If this is the real end – 22

This chapter is updated by NovelFree.ml

… … I remembered a ribbon stained in blood.

That day Silvia had gone to the theater to take a breather. It wasn’t something planed in advance, on the contrary I heard she went out on a whim when the idea suddenly occurred to her. But, this was only the story from Silvia’s side. For another person, it might have not been an unexpected event, it might have been something completely inside their expectation. For example, at that time, there might have been someone who told her, “From time to time, why not going out of the estate for a change?” If you heard she had been lying in bed due to an illness a few days before, then you could guess my little sister would happily follow this advice.

They might have told to the Silvia who was always spending all her time indoor that it would affect her health negatively.

The person herself had said it, but all that was permitted to that child was to take a walk and read. The servants won’t speak more than necessary in front of their masters, and more than anything they had their own work to do. No matter how much precedence was given to Silvia, they couldn’t look after that child all day long. Even if she went on a walk, it was only walking around the mansion or strolling in the garden. Moreover it was an habit she had from childhood, you could easily guess she must have gotten bored of this overly familiar scenery. When that girl who always slept a lot said she wanted to go to town, even the people around us didn’t strongly try to stop her. They were probably thinking among those lines, it’s fine once in a while, she should be allowed at least this much.

However, wasn’t that tragedy entitled, “murdered by robbers,” orchestrated by human hands?

In my second life, I had yet to know of Silvia’s birth and circumstances. Yet I still felt it might be someone’s plot. But the me at that time didn’t think the aim of that tragedy was to injure Silvia, I thought it was a scheme to make me, the fiancé of Soleil, fall. In fact, I think this wasn’t a mistake either. For someone who thought I was in the way, it was a unique opportunity. Because by using Silvia’s death, they were able to drag me from the position of Soleil’s fiancé to that of a sinner.

… … But that was not where the point of the issue lay in the first place. I could only say I didn’t reach the right conclusion because I only focused on myself and didn’t consider other things. In spite of concluding I couldn’t become a supporting character in this story, I still perceived myself as an important key figure.

“… You said something is going to happen to Silvia? What is it?”

Soleil who went down the carriage first naturally held his hand for me. If we weren’t in such a situation, my expression would surely softened just thanks to this gesture. I could easily picture such a me. When I put my fingers in the palm of his hand, he grasped them gently as if to scoop them up. For Soleil, if the person he interacted with was a woman, he would behave like a gentleman without being flustered. That’s why his line of sight had already moved away from me and was examining our surrounding. Maybe because he had already heard the story of Silvia’s upbringing, but he was vigilant. His gaze slid over the thick forest of broad-leaf trees and while he was at it he confirmed the color of the sky.

I remembered how, in one of my lives, just after our marriage he distinguished himself as a knight. And I remembered the letters he sent me when the chivalric order he belonged to went on expeditions. They were blunt and curt letters. They were written with unconcerned sentences in which I wouldn’t see the slightest bit of emotion.

I even recalled how I cherished such letters like a treasure.

“Besides, why do you know Silvia is being targeted?”

The eyes of Soleil who suddenly turned back toward me were sharp. This glare looked like it contained anger but he was simply getting worked up. Because for him, this situation came out of the blue. Although he was someone whose facial expressions were hard to read, he might be shaken inwardly. No, he must be shaken. He was still a student of the academy and could only be called a trainee still in apprenticeship. He was supposed to have taken sword lessons since youth, but as a matter of course, he had yet to experience actual fighting. Furthermore, if I dare point it out, you couldn’t call him robust or sturdy as he was still in the midst of building up his body to become a knight. Because he was aiming to become a knight, he wasn’t weak. However, this didn’t necessarily mean he was tough and strong.

In the first place, we were only two years apart.

When we were children, these two years of difference felt like a huge wall. But now after pilling years and keeping repeating lives, the him who was in front of me no longer looked like a child, but I recognized that he had just arrived at the entrance of the age bracket that could be called adulthood. While being cautious of our surrounding, his silhouette as he was trying to protect me in his back certainly looked reliable and trustworthy. But even him was no different from me, he was a noble who should be protected by someone. You could say he was used to being protected too. I was rather astonished by his gentlemanly behavior that absolutely didn’t collapsed despite all this.

If this was the fruit of the education he went through since childhood, then… I could see how we were beings that had been “made.” We had been trained and cultivated.

That’s exactly why he was attracted to Silvia.

“I can only say that “I know.””

A gentle breeze stroked my cheeks and the trees rustled. The countless leaves which rubbed against each other’s sounded like they were making merry, exchanging turbulent gossip. When I looked up, countless birds flew high in the sky under the shining sun. In a usual situation, it wouldn’t be called an uncommon scene. But these black shadows seemed to foster an ominous and ill omen.

“You sound like a fortuneteller when you say that.”

Still holding my hand, Soleil who didn’t know what our destination was kept turning back to look at me who walked behind him. There wouldn’t be any problem if I were to walk in front, but he didn’t approve of it. I had to cede in front of his determination. His sword was hanging at his waist. Normally, even if one belonged to the knight department, students would almost never wear a sword to go in town. In the first place, because the one going to the academy were nobles, there was no need to. For example, even if you were to encounter robbers and hoodlum, it wouldn’t be a problem if you had your servants or escort at your side. That’s why, both Soleil and I fully understood the strangeness of the current situation.

At the estate, when I told him it was an emergency and I wanted him to lend me a hand, he was taken aback. But, he probably felt something by seeing the state I was in. When I asked him if he had his sword with him, after slightly bending his head in wonder, he made a little nod. After that, I took him with me and sneaked out of the mansion and found a carriage.

The carriages of my house were all taken, and Soleil’s stood out too much. Anyhow, it was the carriage of the marquis’ house. Its magnificent appearance didn’t look modest. Now, we needed to avoid as much as possible any conduct that could attract public gaze. Beyond the fact we didn’t know who was related to this matter, if we were to make an uproar, danger would befall Silvia. That was also the reason I didn’t bring servants with us. I didn’t know where and who somebody might be listening, and to bring along a servant, I needed to obtain the permission of the steward. It was only that, but it’s an action that would greatly stand out. That’s why I asked the maid to relay a message to Alfred and didn’t take anyone with me.

Honestly, whether Soleil would follow my indications or not was something close to a gamble. He didn’t ask much. Not even why we didn’t bring along servants. For me just being in Soleil’s vicinity made me be on guard, but I found his attitude quite unexpected. It felt quite strange that the him now who was leading me by the hand was the same person as the “him” of my repeated lives.

“However, the fact Silvia is… being targeted by someone is the truth.”

Soleil didn’t seem like he would believe in things like fortune-telling. That’s why the tone of my voice inevitably weakened into a whisper.

“I’m not doubting your words.”

Soleil sent a fleeting gaze toward me, looking extremely serious, but for a second, his lips arched in a thin smile. Because he was someone whose expression hardly changed, he was extremely hard to understand. But this gesture made me think he was maybe trying to reassure me.

Inside the carriage, I naturally didn’t talk about the fact I had repeated the same time. Nevertheless, I told him the story about Silvia’s parents without concealing anything. Although he probably didn’t know about that book which was popular in the high society, but I told him what kind of story was behind it in reality. No matter how coherent a story it seemed to be for me, for him this talk must have lacked credibility. I couldn’t have objected anything even if I had been told it was a “wild delusion.”

“And so, what should I do?”

“… Like I said earlier, if you could simply protect Silvia….”

“… And then?”

“Eh?”

“If I do as you said, then what about you? What will you do?”

He walked in front of me, pushing out the overgrown grass of the way. I already knew the place we ought to go. At that time… … after I heard my little sister had died, because I had been restricted immediately, I didn’t know the details of the incident. I only heard the story the prison guards whispered among themselves to kill time. Then, since my life ended in jail, that incident was buried in the dark. Since I, who was deemed to be the criminal, had died, it couldn’t be help. In the first place, society had focused on this family quarrel between sisters only as a form of distraction. Probably no one realized the truth. Not even Soleil. It seemed he believed I was jealous of my sister and commit this crime because I hated her.

That’s why he convicted me and desired a capital punishment for me. There was almost no doubt about this. Even though he might have very well been the sole person able to uncover the truth. His love for my little sister, his hatred for me, had clouded his judgment.

From my second life and thereafter, I did all I could so that incident itself wouldn’t occur. Eventually, the same event didn’t transpire and I wasn’t able to learn what happened on the very day Silvia died.

But, if it was the place where to find my little sister, then I knew. That child who was supposed to have gone to the theater in town, was found in a place she should have never passed by on her way back to the mansion.

… … Yes, it was the middle of this forest.

I heard that the carriage of our house my sister rode on was found overturn at a place not far from here. The maid who accompanied her was inside, dead, and all the luggage had been taken. That’s why it was judged to be the work of thieves. But, my little sister wasn’t found in that place. The band of robbers especially brought that child along with them. Then, deep in the forest, they took her life.

“… … Soleil-sama, the one in danger is Silvia. Not me. So…”

I tried to repeat once again “it’s alright” like I had said earlier, but my hand was tightly gripped and the words were sealed in my throat. “I don’t think it’s fine” he whispered, looking straight ahead. What kind of expression did he make while saying this? I gazed at the back of his head but he didn’t look back. Although Silvia was being pursued it felt as if it was us who were chasing after someone.

Unexpectedly, humans seemed to be going in and out of this forest. We weren’t walking through a trackless path. While tall trees lined up around us, animal trails weaved their ways between them. You could see that several people had come and gone when looking at the place that had been trampled flat.

“… Beyond this, what is here?”

It hadn’t been long since we entered the forest. Even so, it felt like we had walked a lot. That was because we were in a hurry and under a lot of pressure. Then, why were we walking? We had got off the carriage because it couldn’t enter the forest, and we didn’t ride horses because their hooves would make a tremendous sound.

“Do you know?”

He abruptly stopped and turned toward me. Maybe the sunlight was dazzling so he squinted his eyes which were trying to read something from my expression. But I wondered if he didn’t find what he wanted as he heaved a little sigh. As we gazed into each other’s eyes, staying in that place, it became as if we were the only two persons remaining in the world. Even though I knew it wasn’t the moment for this, I thought this moment was precious.

The trees were stirring noise, the grass was undulating, the wind blew.

In this place where there was nothing else, we were all alone. It was quite irrepressibly maddening. The day I met Soleil for the first time, we walked in the marquis’s garden together. Exactly the same as now, I was following his back as he walked in front of me. When I approached he went away, when he went away I approached him, I couldn’t help but be frustrated. The difference from that time was that right now, we were holding hand. I might have finally been allowed to tread the same path as him. The thing I couldn’t help but want, I had it here. But I was aware it was a problem to reach for it now.

As if to prove it, in the distance a stiff scream echoed.

Even though it was the first time I came here, I knew where that child was. Because that winding animal trail was precisely leading us to our destination.

“… … Soleil-sama.”

I didn’t need to specifically call him, he already had the eyes of someone about to march into a fight.

*

*

We advanced forward, treading on the path illuminated by the sunlight filtering through the trees. It wasn’t the time to worry about the noise we made. Pushing our way through the grass that had grown to the same high as our calves, it didn’t take long before our field of vision suddenly widened. The number of trees which stretched out as if competing to grow higher and higher diminished and the blue sky spread out as if a hole was opened. Compared to the path we had been through until now, it became really easy to walk. Short weeds were thriving on this relatively flat ground.

“… Someone, please, someone, help…!!”

This voice didn’t seem to carry that much fear and dread. She should have been intended to scream, but that shriek was quite helpless.

“… … Silvia!”

Because I messed up and rose my voice, I gasped. Overwhelmed by impatience, I had called my little sister’s name before thinking. I bit my lips, regretting that dangerous mistake. It didn’t take long to understand what the hell had I done. Because the eyes of the person trying to take away my little sister moved in our direction.

“Ilya… stand back!”

Soleil quickly drew his sword, standing diagonally in front of me. Three men were standing there, one of them carrying my little sister on his shoulder like a luggage. Although we weren’t standing at a distance our hands could reach them, we were close enough to recognize their face. If we spoke up, we could hear each other’s words.

“… Ah, it’s too bad. Looks like you made it in time.”

Even though it was a tense situation. The one who spoke in an idiotic tone of voice was standing in front. The man in the lead made a smile while tilting his head. I shouldn’t have been the only one who received a shock like a strike on your head when seeing that familiar face. No, rather, it was the opposite. Soleil may have been thrown into a greater disarray than me.

“… … Why?”

Even though I was standing behind him, I seemed to hear his heartbeat. It must have been beating very fast, as if it was about to burst out. It probably wasn’t my imagination that his back was trembling.

“… … Why?”

High in the sky, songbirds sang. This carefree chirping was completely out of place.

“Sai.”

Soleil called out his name. His voice rang out in my ears like a buzzing sound. Forgetting to even blink, I stared at the face of that person. Like the first time I met him in the back yard of the academy, he was making a very gentle and meek expression. At the same time, a shady looking smile was also pasted to his lips. The same one he had when I met him in the cafeteria. He was always cheerful, always clad in a pleasant mood. And yet, he would spit out harsh words without breaking his amiable atmosphere.

Saion Topias.

That’s how that person with indigo eyes called himself the first time we met.

“Why, you ask? I possibly cannot explain everything in a few words. If I must give you one reason, it’s that I also have something I want to protect.”

I wondered if the carriage Silvia had rode on had also been abandoned, toppled on the roadside, like in the past. Also, the maid who was supposed to be accompanying my little sister wasn’t here. It meant that the life of one person had already been lost. Realizing this fact made goose-flesh run through my skin, and a thick vein at the base of my neck made a gushing sound.

The man with the largest built right behind Saion was carrying Silvia on his shoulder. Though her delicate body was lighter than average, carrying a person still required quite some efforts. But his body was very stable and he didn’t look like he was tired at all. Rather, wasn’t he casually yawning despite the situation? I guess he didn’t feel cornered at all.

“Everything would have been fine if you had obediently stayed in that mansion until you died. That way, I wouldn’t have to do such a thing.”

Seeing the expression he made while talking, his eyebrows lowered as if he was really troubled by the situation, it made it sounded like we were the one doing something bad.

“… Are you talking about Silvia?”

When I questioned him, he nodded.

“I don’t know of far you’re aware of Silvia-chan’s circumstances but… No, seeing your expression, you already know everything, don’t you?”

After giggling with a little smile, he sighed. The sound of his breath seemed to resounded in my ears.

“Right now, my country is in a perilous situation. A few days ago, Her Majesty the Queen passed away. … Because she wasn’t blessed with a child, the problem of succession has broken out among the royal family. A lot of thing has happened, but well, in any case… The country is now divided in two factions, the abolitionists and the royalists. In that situation… if she, if Silvia-chan were to appear in the front stage… that would be troublesome.”

Very troublesome, then interrupting his voice, my little sister yelled, “Big sister!! Soleil-sama!! Save me…!”

Her voice was much stronger and firmer than earlier. My little sister who was being held in someone’s arms couldn’t raise her face but she seemed to have properly heard mine and Soleil’s voices.

“Silvia-chan. Your voice is absolutely lovely but right now, please be silent.”

Shhh! He told her as if to soothe her. In his attitude there was nothing of the characteristic mercilessness of a human working and committing crime in the shadow. As Saion ordered his fellow countryman, “Put her down,” his voice was lowered than usual. In other words, was he the ringleader of this plot?

“Her Majesty the Queen had a little sister. She already died a long time ago though. … That’s right, that was Silvia-chan’s mother.”

Do you understand what I mean when I said it’s troublesome? He asked us.

“To begin with, she is a bother just by being alive.”

In his thin laughing eyes, the sunlight was reflected. I thought his eyes looked black with the influence of the light. However, under this strong sunlight, this indigo pair of eyes of him looked like a dim violet.

What this color indicated was…

“… … I know it’s hard on Silvia-chan. But, just by existing, you put our country at risk.”

As she stood stock still, Silvia’s face abruptly turned pale. That child shouldn’t know anything about her birthplace. But it was possible she had heard it from Saion.

I wondered if she was aware of how much danger she was in?

No emotions were reflected in Saion’s eyes as he looked at my little sister’s reaction. Even though the soleil hadn’t been clouded, his eyes seemed to have stopped taking in the light.

“And so, I was thinking to have you disappear,” he said with only his mouth smiling. Reacting to the signal of his words, the man standing beside him put his arm around Silvia’s neck to restrict her, and another one prepared his sword. It felt like the air that should have been flowing gently suddenly harden and condensate. My breathing accelerated. It might have been because of the bloodlust they were releasing.

“Ah, and also. There aren’t only three of us.”

Won’t you come out soon? Following his voice, in the gaps between the trees behind them, figures of people appeared. It’s at this moment I noticed the sun was beginning to set little by little. The shadows extending from our feet were slightly stretching out. Light and darkness had started to assimilate, the boundaries between them were becoming ambiguous.

“Eh, what kind of emotions are you feeling now? Say, Soleil, won’t you tell-me?”

The intonation of his voice was full of ridicule. He looked like a first-class stage actor.

“How does it feel, being betrayed by a friend?”

Had they been hiding until now, or had they just returned here? The outlines of the people blending in the darkness cleared up, fully appearing in front of us.

This head of impressive red hairs, I knew it well.

He was always standing next to Soleil. It had never changed in any of my lives. They should have been calling themselves life-long friends. Then, exactly as those words implied, I knew that afterwards they would always continue to be friends for a long time. Even after Soleil and I got married their relation won’t change and will perdure. … … It was supposed to.

But, I remembered. In that prison reeking of mold, he had said to me,

“It’s stupid. You’re truly a fool. … You can try struggling and denying it all you want, but no one can reverse fate.”

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