Published at 1st of September 2019 11:03 pm

Chapter 1

This chapter is updated by NovelFree.ml

3 October. Sunny.

At dusk, rain fell from the skies, cold water stretching across the roads. When it was six o’clock, I wrapped a shawl around my shoulders and left my house to welcome my Gao Fei home.

Were it not for his displeasure, I might have already been at the airport awaiting his arrival at this moment in time. Gao Fei’s one week of business trip was already a great torment for me to endure, so how could I tolerate the fact that I would not be the first person he would see upon touchdown?

But in his call, he coldly forbade me to do so.

For three days, he had not answered any of my calls. Without a choice, I could only compromise with his wishes.

At seven o’clock sharp, Gao Fei finally appeared within my sight, wearing the cream-coloured overcoat which I had prepared for him. I was as excited as a little bird as I ran towards him, shouting his name, ‘Gao Fei, Gao Fei’, dying to be enveloped within the warmth of his embrace.

As he heard my voice, he raised his head. He had not expected me to be waiting for him at the doorstep, and his eyes immediately cooled, watching as I ran towards him. He shifted, easily evading my hug, his disdain palpable.

Perhaps, in my entire life, I would never be able to obtain a fraction of warmth from him, just like a lost bird, never to return to the warmth of its nest.

Though I could clearly discern Gao Fei’s unhappiness, I was unwilling to draw attention to it. Moreover, I felt that his reaction was not considered overboard, so I continued to smile, remaining unbashful as I clung onto him, spilling my heart out.

‘Gao Fei, I missed you.’

It was impossible to not miss him, for he was the only man I have ever loved in my entire life.

The body which I hugged remained rigid in my arms. Even though Gao Fei was tall and wrapped securely in layers of clothes, not a silver of his warmth was given to me. Instead, he moved, raising his hands as he pushed me away.

His face remained expressionless as he said, ‘Let’s go home!’

I continued to beam as I nodded, because of his word ‘home’. I knew that this was just a careless, unintentional word on his part, but I was long accustomed to deliberately misinterpreting the meaning behind his words, spinning them in a favourable, comforting light, so my heart still warmed.

Go home.

Gao Fei, let’s go home.

From the bathroom was the sound of splashing water. I buried my head as I continued to unpack Gao Fei’s luggage. I knew that whenever he returned from his trips, I would receive no souvenir. Gao Fei often said that I was wealthy and powerful, and there was nothing in this world which I could not buy, just as there was nothing I could not snatch into my possession, so there was never a reason for him to give me anything. When he had said these words, his voice carried a trace of derision, matching the iciness in his eyes.

I wanted to protest: everything I could buy, no matter how expensive or precious they were, could never measure up to a single item from him.

But as I stared at the expression on his face, I could only shrink back, swallowing my words.

He was still unable to forget the way I had snatched him into my hands those years ago.

My wealth and power were two things that Gao Fei would never be able to accept.

That year, I had been accompanying my father as we attended a bidding conference, and it was there when I first met Gao Fei. Back then, he had been dressed smartly in a suit, his words clearly articulated as he presented his speech and addressed each client.

I had once read a book on psychology which described the science behind what we termed as ‘love at first sight.’ This happened whenever a man or a woman who was in heat crossed paths with someone they were physically attracted to, hence sparking that instant attraction, the colloquial ‘love at first sight’.

So, I thought that when I had met Gao Fei that day, my hormones must have been usually high, for I was just like Snow White who had met her Prince Charming, in a hurry to leave an impression on him. I remember that the moment the conference had ended, I immediately appeared in front of Gao Fei, beaming widely.

I had been standing guard at the doorway of the conference hall, just like a beast awaiting its prey.

After we married, Gao Fei often said to me, He Yujin, if I had known then that you had fallen for me, and would have resorted to such unscrupulous ways to marry me, I swear to the Heavens that I would never have spoken a word to you then.

But I only smiled as I said, Gao Fei, I love you.

Other than expressing my love to him at every moment in time, I no longer knew what else I could do.

After the conference, Gao Fei and I became acquainted, but how could I bear for us to remain only as friends? For the first time in my life, I confessed to my father my deepest wish.

The words wealthy and powerful should not be used to describe me. Instead, they referred to my father, the Chairman of Tianxing Corporation, a man who stood among the highest echelons of our city. Within this city, there was nothing that could not be accomplished by him, let alone a small wish that his only daughter, for the first time in her life, had wanted.

I admit that my father’s methods were a little overboard. But at that time, Gao Fei was completely uninterested in me, and as my whole heart was intent on becoming his bride as soon as possible, not only did I not stop my father, I was even glad to see it happen.

When Gao Fei remained unmoved by persuasion, my father finally resorted to the most vicious method. He ordered for someone to kidnap Gao Fei’s parents, holding them hostage. With no way out, Gao Fei broke off his relationship with his then-girlfriend and married me.

But things did not end happily.

In revenge, on the day we wed, as Gao Fei slipped the wedding ring onto my finger, he said to me, ‘He Yujin, putting love aside, I will not even give you happiness. I will use my entire life to hate you until the day you die.’

I guess he must have really detested me to use the words ‘hate’ and ‘die’ on the day of our wedding.

But I only stared at him. Through tear-filled eyes, I said, ‘It’s alright, Gao Fei. It’s alright as long as I love you. I can be the one giving all the happiness in our marriage, as long as you accompany me by my side till the day I die.’

I packed his clothes and folded them one by one… his undergarments, shirts, blazer, tie. Folding it with even more practice than a salesperson. Though I once lived in luxury, from the day I had married Gao Fei, I had begun learning the ways in being a dutiful wife.

Soon, Gao Fei exited from the bathroom, a white towel wrapped around his body. I knelt at the side of the room and continued to arrange his clothes. He did not look at me, making straight for the bed. Yet I was unable to act as though I was unmoved, so I hurriedly packed the rest of his clothes, bathed, then clambered up onto the bed next to him.

As my body brushed against Gao Fei’s, I quickly burrowed myself into his arms, just like a snake winding around him. Gao Fei wanted to push me away, for he was never willing to hold me within his arms as we slept. Yet I remained stubborn as I clung onto his tall frame, acting like a spoilt child within his embrace.

‘Gao Fei, did you miss me?’

This was a question I was unable to ask under the brilliance of the sunlight. Only in the darkness of the night where I could not even see my five fingers, did I dare to finally, softly, ask him this.

It was immediately clear to me that Gao Fei detested my question for he pushed me away. But I was unrelenting, my hands swiftly slipping into his pyjamas. Clumsily, I began to touch him, until his body began to stir. Yet he raised his arm, taking hold of my restless hands, freezing them in place.

His eyes locked onto mine.

Like a small sparrow, I laughed, thoroughly elated. I leaned closer to Gao Fei’s chest, and asked in the most bewitching tone I could manage, ‘Gao Fei, did you miss me?’

Others often said that within the throes of desire, men lost their rationality, so I hoped that in his moment without reason, Gao Fei would tell me: yes.

In a sudden, abrupt movement, Gao Fei flipped me under his body. His eyes were filled with quiet endurance which melded with anger and desire, yet eclipsing them all was an undeniable loathing.

As I stared into his eyes, a strange sadness clenched around my heart.

Even at such a time, Gao Fei was able to remain clear-headed, to remember that he loathed me. Suddenly, I wanted to flee, yet I found myself pressing closer towards him, as though forced by an instinct buried deep within me.

My arms wound around his waist. I fought back my tears, swallowing them back into my heart.

From the very beginning, I never had the right to shed any tears.

When I reopened my eyes once again, my face had already transformed, my lips lifted in a bright smile. Yet Gao Fei detested such a simple and unthinking me, a person who was able to smile so carelessly and easily. As though in revenge, at the very last moment, he whispered into my ears, ‘He Yujin, you are merely a woman who offered yourself to me.’

He was right. I was a woman who had offered myself to his doorstep.

On the night of our wedding, my husband had only spent the night with me because I had drugged his drink.

Were it not for my love which bordered on obsession, I would never have done so. But though I had already tried several times to close the distance between us whenever he was drunk, he never once relented for he could always recognise me by my scent.

Left without any other options, on the day we wed, I could only resort to drugging his hangover drink.

As you could imagine, when dawn broke the next morning, I was once again the recipient of Gao Fei’s contempt. He stared at me, his eyes taking in my bare body, scorn crossing his face.

He said, ‘He Yujin, why do you have to resort to unnecessary measures? Are you afraid I will not fulfil my responsibilities as your husband?’

But I had been in a state of contentment then. Like a lazy cat, I only smiled, shaking my head, and did not argue with him. I thought to myself that Gao Fei had only said such words in order to protect his wounded pride, for he must have been angered by the extreme measures I had taken.

Yet in my heart, I could not help but think: Gao Fei, without the influence of alcohol and aphrodisiac, could you really bear to touch me?

I did not know the answer, so how could I gamble?

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