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I did not know why I suddenly remembered about those unneeded memories.
From the window on the second floor which oversaw the courtyard, I saw my fiancée, Richard-sama, was having some kind of a conversation with a pretty lady with a strawberry blonde hair.
The moment I witnessed that sight; I somehow felt déjà vu, and unexpectedly my past life’s memories began to rush inside my head.
Those memories did not belong to me, Arisa – Bachelar.
Those memories belonged to a woman who was not from this world. She was born and raised in a vast country known as Japan. My head began to hurt as abundant of information assaulted my head.
I grabbed the window frame, consciously trying not to show any weird pose to others.
As the strength started to return to my staggering feet, I strengthened my back.
This pose was ingrained from all those etiquette’s lesson that I had received since childhood.
I began to take a deep breath as I tried to relax myself or else my body might collapsed at any current moment now.
If my memory was correct, this world seemed to be the world of an Otome game.
The girl who was currently conversing with Richard-sama was supposedly the heroine of this game. She was the Earl’s daughter who had been raised among the commoner; and this national academy, Blanche, will be the stage for her story in meeting all the potential man who are eligible to become her future partner.
The story will begin in spring when she first entered the school.
Yes, the story had already began since half a month ago.
Richard-sama, who was the Duke’s son, was one of the capture target.
Therefore, Richard-sama’s fiancée from childhood, which was me, were only considered as a supporting role.
Once Richard-sama began to take liking on that girl, our engagement will be annulled and I will be thrown away; and that was basically the limit of my existence.
——-
Our engagement in essence was a political scheme meant to deepen the connection between the both houses.
When Richard-sama was 6 years old and I was 5, the head of both houses decided to arrange the engagement between the two of us.
Although our Duke’s house had started to decline, there were still many wealthy families who want to forge connection with a well-to-do house with good territory management.
In regard to my social status, although it will quite amusing if I were to decide to participate in the selection of a Queen’s candidate, however, it had been determined since early on that my quirky disposition was not suitable for it; and therefore I got engaged to Richard-sama instead.
——–
When I first met Richard-sama, I was so stupefied that words seemed to left me.
A soft curly blond hair with blue eyes as impressive as the clear sky.
Richard-sama was a gentle person though he was a boy with few words.
Though I could count the number of times that the both of us met each other; however as time passed on, I began to notice Richard-sama hard to understand kindness.
Whenever I wrote a letter to him, he always ensured that he gave his reply back to me; and whenever we met each other, he always make sure that he properly listened to whatever conversation that we were having together
From the letters that I had received for my Birthday and New Year’s greeting, it were clearly conveyed that he had always put the content of my letters and stories into his mind.
Unceasingly, Richard-sama always gave me what I had wanted since that time.
Although our relationship grounded behind the political scheme, since long time ago, I have come to love Richard-sama
I had thought that he was truly happy to be my partner and I was willing to put all my effort for the sake of Richard-sama
Therefore, in order to become a suitable woman for him, I have been working hard on my etiquette, study as well as my socializing skills.
Therefore, I really do not need this memory now.
Just having a thought that I might be deprived from Richard-sama, my heart could not help but broken into pieces.
The only person that I want to reach my hand out to was Richard-sama and I could not imagine of being with any other people.
If I were to remember this memory sooner, then maybe, I could put even more effort so that Richard-sama will fall more deeply in love with me.
I had always thought that it was enough for us to foster the love after we become spouses.
Rather than marrying each other, I never thought that our engagement was the one which will be broken someday.
This was because, since long time ago, I had noticed that there was nothing but deep affection floating from Richard-sama’s eyes whenever he was looking at me.
—————–
What should I do?
I do not want to lose Richard-sama
At the bottom of the window, in the courtyard, at that moment, Richard-sama who rarely laughed, smiled; and as I were unable to endure it anymore, I decided to walk away from that spot.
——–
“My lady, is there something wrong? Your complexion is not good.”
Although I managed to reach my room inside the residence provided by the school, my stiff expression seemed to make my maid, Colette, extremely worried about my condition.
I had always regarded Colette, who were two years older than me as my foster sister, so there seemed to be nothing that I can hide from her.
However, at the current moment, I cannot really share with her about the memories from my previous life.
“There is nothing. It just that , I feel a bit tired today, so I decided to take a day off instead”
I did not have much appetite and I also did not know if I can fall asleep as it was, but right now, I just wanted to lie on my bed and rest.
As if knowing that she will never get an answer from me even if she asked, Colette silently helped me changed my attire.
“If you need something, just call me anytime.”
As Colette slowly bowed her head, I laid on the bed.
The instance my head hit the pillow, I closed my eyes. And the tears that I had been enduring since forever began to overflow.
Right now, I still did not know about Richard-sama’s feeling; I cannot help but cried when I felt anxious about the current situation; and because of that, I cannot stop my tears from flowing down.
I put my face on the pillow to muffle the sound as I kept on crying.
———
I cried so much that my eyes got swollen. As I began to calm down, I began to think about the step that I should take from now on.
According to the memories of my previous life, Richard-sama was not the only capture targets around.
As far as I remember, apart from Richard-sama, there were a total of four people who will become rival in vying for the affection of that girl. They were the son of the Marquis, this country’s Crown Prince, the Knight of the Imperial High Priest and the Magical Theory’s teacher.
There was also a hidden capture target, but it seemed that the ME from my previous life did not manage to clear that game to that extent.
If there were other capture targets around, it might still be early for me to mourn about my predicament.
Besides that, the time for Richard-sama to actually fall for that girl so wholeheartedly might still be a while.
It was because, Richard-sama was not the kind of person who put someone into his heart so easily.
He was someone who were not only discreet about his feeling but also a thoughtful person.
Even in worst cases, there should still be a little time left from the actual event.
Then, there is only one thing left for me to do.
Let’s love to the utmost.
Let’s tell Richard-sama, how I feel about him, from the bottom of my heart.
Regardless of the circumstances of our houses, I just hope that Richard-sama will remember, at least, how much I had come to love him.
The only things that I can do is to love Richard-sama with all my heart and with that, my sorrowful feeling began to blow away.
I rang the bell and called for Colette.
First of all, I need to quickly managed my swollen eyes.
I am going to meet Richard-sama as usual tomorrow.
And, as much as I could, I will convey my deepest feeling for him.
—————-
Recently, my fiancée had been acting strangely.
With elegant and beautiful figure which can be regarded as the moon goddess; armed with mature and modest personality; I had always thought that she was wasted for the like of me; and recently, somehow, she had become even more adorable.
As she gazed at me as if there were no other person that she loved more, apart from me, she kept saying [I love you] to me even though it seemed to embarrass her to do so; and I cannot help but being fascinated with her charm which seemed unusual from her normal self.
Despite the political scheme, I had always felt that, this fiancée of mine from the young age was like my own sister.
However, it seemed that something had changed.
From somewhere in my heart, I kept having a feeling that this girl was mine, and she belonged to me.
For quite some time, I had strongly thought that I wanted to be the only person that appeared in this girl’s eyes as she smiled like a blooming flower.
“I love you, Richard-sama.”
This word was uttered by her again today accompanied with a sweet smile.
Recently, listening to this word had somehow made my heart calm.
“Arisa, I am already completely defeated by you. I could no longer keep my reasoning if you continue to proclaim your love to me so straightforwardly. I will write a letter to your father tonight that I would like to get married to you during the long summer holiday. I don’t think that I will be able to wait until we graduated. I want to make you my wife as soon as possible.”
For the marriage between the Duke’s houses, usually, it took some time for it to be prepared. However, since both of us had been engaged for quite a long time now, some of the preparation had already been taken places.
Originally, the preparation was planned to be done after our graduation, however if we were to follow that, then we have to wait for over a year.
I did not think that I can wait for that long.
Though I had always known that Arisa will be my wife in the future, however Arisa look at me in disbelieved as she tried to infer the meaning behind my word while tears streamed down from her eyes.
“Are you really sure that you want me?”
As she wiped her tears away, she asked for my confirmation; although I am her fiancée, I could not understand why she asked me such question that I titled my head looking at her.
“Who else is there apart from Arisa? My only partner is Arisa.”
I had never thought of marrying any other woman apart from Arisa.
Although previously I had regarded her as my little sister, unconsciously I had decided that she was my one and only woman.
“Do not cry anymore. Do you hate because I decided to hold the marriage ceremony ahead of time? I know that it is a one-time ceremony. If you want to take time to prepare for it slowly, then let’s wait until after our graduation. So, please, don’t cry any longer.”
I hugged that delicate body as if she was something fragile that could easily broken.
Even though she was my fiancée, it was required for us to keep the skinship in moderation.
I do not want to think about it; however, in order not to hinder the marriage between the aristocrats who respect the importance of purity in case of engagement annulment; it was considered forbidden to touch her this way even when there were no one around.
Therefore, as long as I had remembered, since our childhood, this was the first time that I had hugged her.
I were able to feel her warmth and smelled her fragrances with the distance that were closer than during our dance together.
With blushed cheek, Arisa docilely leaned her body affectionately on me.
In this way, I had strongly realized that I really loved her from the bottom of my heart.
Not because she was my fiancé, but because she was Arisa and I wanted to make her my wife.
“I also want to become Richard-sama’s wife as soon as possible. Therefore, I would also like to request for you to write a letter to my father on my behalf.”
As I dried away her tears with my fingertip, I was defeated by her sweet smile.
I kissed her red eyes and I hugged her hard as I tried to tamper my urge down.
My fiancée, in every aspects, had become more beautiful and adorable.
That I were really started to become unable to preserve my own urge for her.
Later, I got to know that Arisa had been feeling jealous of that Earl’s daughter.
It seemed that she had seen me having a conversation with her in the courtyard.
Now that I think about it, I did have a feeling something like that did happened, however, I cannot really remember the conversation that I had with that girl.
I praised Arisa as I only remembered of being pleased about something.
And due to that burning jealousy, it seemed that she had decided to strive hard to convey her feeling to me; I was in agony due to her overloaded cuteness.
It was nearly impossible for me to stop my impulse from taking her into the bedroom at that particular moment, that I ended up being scolded by her attendant due to it. Now that I thought about it, it was really a good memory.
Arisa and I finally got married during the long summer vacation.
After that, as the first couple who had gotten married during the academic year, the both of us had left our name in the history of the school.
Author note:
Heroine who did not have any presence: Have the memories of previous life and seemed to be some kind of an aggressive female. Considered Richard as an herbivorous man who did not have any pulse thus removed him from the list of capture target. Originally, he was not her favorite type.
Richard: A boy who secretly a carnivore type of a man. From the time he thought about her fiancée as a cute sister, he also thought that “My Fiancée is Number one” in his mind. In the otome game, Richard was a character who distrust others and only opened himself to the Heroine. In reality, the love filled letter that was sent to him since the childhood had left no gap for him to distrust any other human being.