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“Haaa, hah~, hey. You dropped this. Cigarettes.”
When I was at the station, I noticed that I had dropped my pack of cigarettes. I had bought it at the convenience store this morning and hadn’t even opened it. It might be trivial, but I was still disappointed. However, my depressed mood was short-lived.
A man came running over and threw the cigarette pack I accidently dropped. I caught it, and the man smiled as he went through the ticket gate. Then, I jumped into the express train that was about to close.
[The train is leaving. Please stand clear.]
I heard the conductor’s announcement, and out the window was someone with a bitter smile on his face.
What, it’s that guy.
He was in a hurry, but still picked it up. One box of tobacco was only 420 yen. Why’d he bother with something so cheap?
I spoke out in spite of myself, and then I realized I hadn’t thanked you. We may never meet again.
“…Foolish.”
The little box in my suit pocket felt a little heavier.
Then, half a year later. I never would have dreamt of meeting that fool again at my new job.
※※※※※※
Last Sunday, I was proposed to by Shimabara at the smoking area. Now I was with my belongings in front of my new house. This is the place where… Shimabara and I will live together. Shimabara called a moving service for me, but there was not much to bring. At most, I only had a few clothes, my computer, and a couple of books. Shimabara went to buy our appliances. They finished working in a very short amount of time, and quickly headed back to their truck.
When he proposed to me, Shimabara had already finished all the preparations necessary for marriage. Not only did he supply furniture and appliances. This house as well. It was a new two-storey building located in the residential area that made commuting to work convenient. He said he bought the house a few months ago, it wasn’t prepared for me personally. Truthfully, I wonder if I could have refused. I remembered Shimabara’s triumphant face at the smoking area, when I accepted his proposal while clutching the photos he took.
It had only been a few days since then, but our newlywed life starts from today. It went all according to Shimabara’s plan.
“Hey Asama. Aren’t you coming?”
It wasn’t just on a whim. But the environment had changed too quickly, leaving me stunned. Shimabara was in a good mood and grasps my arm to pull me inside the house. He took the cigarette I was holding in my mouth, he smiled.
“Don’t take other people’s things.”
“Shut up. You should give up smoking.”
“Why should I, geez…”
“Because. Hey, this is a nice house.”
“Well… isn’t it too large for only two men?”
“If a brat is born, the larger the better.”
Sucking in the delicious smoke, Shimabara spouted this stupid thing. Blood was rushing to my head and it wasn’t just because of the indirect kiss I had with Shimabara, not at all.
“Who’s giving birth!”
Shimabara laughs heartily, my body was developed over the course of two years with the help of sleeping pills. My body can already accept Shimabara, I seem to be the female role. But, now is not the time. Truly, when I used to go on business trips with Shimabara, when I got up in the morning my body felt sluggish, my hips were aching, and I felt hungry. I thought that was because I had been out drinking, trying to avoid being in the same room as Shimabara. I didn’t think it would be because of Shimabara… that what I was feeling was sexual desire.
I was pulled by Shimabara to the living room. The interior gave a calm atmosphere and Shimabara standing there made it look like a portrait. The furniture was imported, the sofa was from one of the Italian brands even I knew of. It was expensive.
“…Shimabara, how much do I owe?”
“Ha? For what.”
“You know, the house.”
“Don’t be stupid. You don’t have to worry about the money.”
By the way, there were rumours that Shimabara’s quite wealthy, having inherited a large amount of money from his grandfather. Besides that, Shimabara’s salary was also quite good. Before becoming a manufacturer for a major medical company, he used to work at a pharmaceutical company. He was the section chief over there, but of course the executive director had earnestly headhunted him. The look of the salary should be better. He was the sales department manager, but I heard rumours that he would be promoted to a section chief. Shimabara had said that this was why he used the chance to propose.
Meanwhile, I’m a middle-class employee, a considerable difference compared to the Chief of the quality control department. But as a man, I can’t feed Shimabara’s pride.
“I’ll pay some of the rent.”
“Hey you, where would you find a husband who’d let their wife pay rent.”
“I, I’m not your wife! I’m a man… Besides, even if it takes a thousand steps, if both wife and husband work together, they’re still making money.”
“A–, just be quiet. Then, Asama. Save your salary. We can go on a trip once we’ve saved enough.”
“Hmm.”
Is that fine… But, to go on a trip with Shimabara… it was nice when we went on a business trip together, just the two of us lazing around during our free time, it was a lot of fun. For the both of us to travel outside of work, it must be more fun.
“You look so happy about it, you’re such a fool Asama.”
Suddenly, he stroked my cheek with a fingertip that smelled of cigarettes. It was enough to get my heart pounding. I never thought there would be a day I would get to touch Shimabara like this… Nope, I was definitely touched even more while I was sleeping. I remembered the photo and pulled my body away from that hand. Ruining the mood, Shimabara’s face turns disappointed as I separate from him, he sat down on the sofa with a thud.
“…Here. Asama, sit.”
Beckoning me to come, I instinctively shrank back. However, Shimabara clicked his tongue and for some reason, I reluctantly sat next to him, leaving a short distance between us.
In front of me was a large TV mounted on the wall. Taking the remote from the stand on the table, Shimabara turned on the television.
『Ah, a… wa, aah…』
Suddenly, the loud hoarse voice of a man echoed across the room. I jumped from the sofa. The person on the screen was me. I was asleep as my eyelids were closed. But, my face was bright red and looked like it was melting in pleasure, my legs were spread open, and in my butt… a finger was entering. There was no mistaking it, it was my favourite, the masculine finger was Shimabara’s.
“What! What is this, Shimabara!?”
“Video. I’m showing it to you.”
“Ha!? Do-don’t joke around, this–”
“I’m not joking. Just watch it.”
On the screen, my ass was being played with by a finger. My penis was completely erect. Eventually, he pulled his finger out, and Shimabara’s hand disappeared from the screen. After a while, the vibe I saw in the photograph appeared. As if to show off that it was drenched in lotion, it moved closer to the camera.
“Do, n’t… stop, I don’t want to see it.”
I tried to turn my face away, but Shimabara grasped my chin and held it in place. Glancing at Shimabara from the side, a cigarette was held in his distorted lips, a sadistic smile was on his face. My heart skipped at that expression. I wasn’t sure if it was out of fear or something else.
On the screen, Shimabara’s fingers switched on the vibe.
Vu—it, the mechanical vibration shook my eardrums. And as soon as the change occurred.
『Ah, fwah~, haa.』
“Eh, um, ah… ah.”
The me on the other side of the screen, and the me with my chin grasped by Shimabara on the sofa. Both our bodies bounced. Suddenly, my waist, no, my interior started to feel numb. Although I was unaware until now, my inner body was growing hot, it was aching.
“Since I used this vibe all the time, you’re already conditioned to this sound. What’s it called, Pavlov’s dog?”
“…Ah, hiya…”
I was sleeping, but clearly my hips were floating like they were anticipating it. The vibe touched the dark red hole. And then it was distorted as it plunged inside.
『Ngh, hiyaa!』
Writhing around, my eyes were closed as cloudy liquid spurted out. Just inserting it was enough for me. But, not allowing to me to rest after, Shimabara’s hand was relentlessly thrusting the vibe inside of me repeatedly.
『Ah, ahh, ngh, wahh.』
『Does it feel good? Asama.』
『Ahn, fwah! Ah, Shi, maa, ah, Shima, bara, nn–』
Reacting to Shimabara’s voice, my expressions became more relaxed, even a smile appeared. I had on a face of unbearable pleasure, while Shimabara’s vibe was violating me. Even though I was being assaulted in my sleep, it looked like… I was having sex with my lover.
『Shima, baaah, hyah, fas, nngh—!』
And then, gripping the sheets and bending my throat, my body trembled with convulsions. From my genitals, it appeared to be leaking and jerking, but semen had not appeared. Like a woman that was passing the tide, my whole body was trembling from my climax.
『Hah! Ah, ha, ha ngh, Shimabara, ah… Shima, baraa… ngh』
『…ku, haha. Really an idiot…』
Crying out because of the strong pleasure, I called out Shimabara’s name over and over again. Shimabara was unable to hold it in, finally with an embarrassing voice at the end, the screen darkened.
In the quiet room, only my rough breathing could be heard. Hot, my body is hot. When I saw the image, I felt extremely disgusted and nauseous, even now I remembered the fear. But despite that, my body felt hot and was shivering from desire.
“…Ah…Ah…”
“Hey, now you know. Asama.”
Before I could ask what, my body was pushed down on to the sofa. Shimabara climbed onto my body, inhaling smoke slowly, he pressed the cigarette into the ashtray and extinguished the fire. A storm of lust and carnal desire in his eyes, Shimabara looked down on me, and exhaled the cigarette smoke. I caught sight of the wet red tongue from the gap of his lips, I startled.
“…D-don’t do it. Shimabara…”
“It won’t feel bad.”
When I thought about how I was going to be embraced, a strong disgust and anger welled up inside of me. Shimabara was straddling me, I strongly grasped his hard and thick thighs.
“Threatening me this way! What marriage, what bride! Quit joking! Think about me! Shimabara, there’s a limit.”
“Ha? Threaten? When have I threatened you?”
“Well, Shimabara, you know when you’ve threatened me! With those photos and videos!”
“Hey you, you’re really stupid.”
He said it in a state of exasperation, I was extremely confused. Shimabara got off of my stomach and left the living room. Returning while I was still stunned, he placed a manila envelope on the desk.
“You can get rid of it.”
“Huh?”
“What’s with that stupid face. You seem to have a weird misunderstanding. At that time, didn’t you hear what I said when I scattered the photos? These copies were only for showing you, the originals are my collection.”
“Collection…”
“Even if it’s only photos, I wouldn’t show your skin to others.”
I don’t understand. If you weren’t planning on threatening me, then why show the photos during the proposal, what kind of plan was that. As I was dazed, I didn’t resist when Shimabara started stripping off my clothes. No, if he wasn’t planning on threatening, then there was no need to resist.
“After all, you’re pretty stupid, it’s faster to teach your body.”
“Ah, no w-wait, Shimabara.”
“Don’t tell me to stop. Just be obedient and you’ll feel good.”
“Ngh.”
Lips that were covered with the scent of cigarettes overlapped mine. His saliva held the familiar smell, his tongue pushed its way into my mouth. I always yearned to kiss Shimabara. Every time at the smoking area, I fantasized about Shimabara’s lips as he smoked. It was now a reality. Excitedly, I took in Shimabara’s tongue, entwining it with my own. Shimabara also liked the roof of my mouth and the cheeks inside. My nose was filled with Shimabara’s scent, and then the intense kiss was over.
“Puha, haa, n.”
“Fu, haa, wow. Surprisingly intense, Asama.”
“Ngh, surprising, huh.”
“…I was finally able to kiss you.”
While stroking my cheeks, Shimabara looked distant as he said this. I was thrilled. Shimabara was also feeling the same.
“Ah, Shimabara… I feel the same.”
“If you confessed sooner, this would have happened earlier. But of course you never did.”
“Don’t blame me, argh!”
“It’s your fault. Not wanting to do something so simple.”
My underwear was taken off, and my legs were opened wide. Because of the video and the kiss before, my thing stood by itself, clearly showing off my desire.
“Even now… you want it. Asama.”
My body went strange at his sweet whispering voice. My butt clenched, and I unconsciously shook my waist. I want it. Having been doing things like that picture for two years, my body that was converted during that time, it certainly wanted Shimabara.
“I want you, I’ve been restraining it for so long… enough, I want to hold you.”
“U… Shimabara, but… I”
“Tell me you want me, Asama. You don’t need to say anything else.”
The usually composed Shimabara was non-existent, before he relaxed. Shimabara’s erect cock was exposed. It was fairly large and imposing, I instinctively froze up. But, seeing it solved one more mystery.
(I see. Because it’s so big, you took the time to get me used to it.)
The process was absolutely wrong, it was a terrible thing that was more like a crime. But stupidly, I was somehow happy. While he was playing with me when I was sleeping, when I think about what I endured in order to accept Shimabara, I felt joy that it was done by the man I love.
“…Shimabara, I like it. Please hold me.”
Not discussing the meaning, Shimabara lay over top of me, and gave me a hug. Wrapped in Shimabara’s warm body, I felt an indescribable happiness.
“Finally, being honest.”
When Shimabara lifted his body from mine, before I knew it, he was holding something cylindrical in his hand. It was a bottle of lotion.
“Wh-where did you get that.”
“I put it under the sofa.”
He prepared everything. Squirting the contents of the lotion in the palm of his hand, Shimabara smeared it on his genitals. The slimy liquid made it look extremely lewd. Shimabara opened up my legs, putting his waist in between, and his cock hit my ass.
“Tsu…”
Then, it was completely buried inside of my body in one go.
“Ah!? Hya!? Nahhh!?”
The hard, scorching shaft penetrated my body in an instant. Sparks were spreading in front of my eyes. My body bent backwards on its own, my legs opened wider and my toes were extended. It was as if I received an electric shock.
“Ah, ah, gu~ah–!!”
My hips were bouncing. A strong pleasure that I had never experienced before rushed through my body. Hot liquid was leaking onto my stomach. That’s right, I could. Just from insertion.
“Haa, fuu, ah, ah”
“Wah, tight… you’re too tight, Asama…”
“Hah, na~”
“Disappointed? You want to continue.”
I managed to shake my head. Grabbing Shimabara’s shoulder, I was somehow able to endure the shock, and entered a light state. Because of this, my insides were tightly contracting. Being unable to move around, I opened my eyes wide and stiffened.
“Wh-what, was that, why”
“I didn’t fucking do anything. I wasn’t moving. Get it? You’re like a woman after all.”
Happily, Shimabara slowly withdrew his waist, Shimabara’s large cock rubbed against my insides as it slipped out of me. I felt like fainting with that stimulation alone.
“Ah, ah, haah.”
“That’s a good face, Asama.”
“Th-that, why did that, Shimabara.”
“So, now you understand.”
“I don’t, I don’t understand.”
“You thick-headed fellow. I showed you pictures, I even showed you a video, your body is like this… get it, idiot.”
Also, Shimabara looked quite shy with his cheeks flushed. As if he were confessing. No way. I shivered at the thought.
“You saw the photos… don’t you get just how much I like you? You, you’re body can no longer stay away from me, understand? Geez, because you’re so stupid… I have to say it slowly to you.”
I was shocked that my prediction was correct. For a plain love, in order to express it, you couldn’t have done without all the bad stuff. There was no way for me to see from that picture that he liked me so much, I wonder if he thought I’d be happy with it.
“Developing you while you were sleeping was punishing. Rest assured. From now on, I’ll love you plenty when you’re awake.”
“That’s weird, Shimabara! Shimabara’s show of affection is seriously strange!”
“Ha? It’s normal.”
“It’s not normal, ah! Agh, ng, stop, m-moving.”
The withdrawn shaft was pushed in again. With that, dark spots appeared in front of my eyes. Shimabara started a steady rhythm, and I could no longer speak properly. Every time Shimabara thrust in, a strong current of pleasure overwhelmed me.
“Ah, hi, hya, ya, yaa, ahh.”
“If it’s not normal. Whether it’s normal or not isn’t for anyone else to decide. You should understand. You are the receiver. It’s natural.”
“Naaah, Shimaaaa! I, waaa!”
“Because you’re my wife.”
As Shimabara looked as if this was how it should be, I felt a sense of defeat. I’m the one who fell in love with this strange man.
“Ah, re-receiving for Shimabara, fuah! I, like ahhh!”
“Haa, this idiot, stupid.”
“Ah, cumming! Enough, Shimabara, Shimabaraaah!”
“Ahh, suddenly…ngh”
Being pierced deeply, I clung to Shimabara’s body as I climaxed. It felt like my brain was short-circuiting. My body flopping around like a fish, Shimabara hugged me back. Rocking several times. I was crying and screaming from the intense pleasure on the inside, then Shimabara released his hot desire. Shimabara’s shaft was pulsating inside of me, my body tightened around it. I wasn’t ejaculating. From the deep climax that I hadn’t experienced before, my body went numb. Truly, it was like a female.
“Tsa… wa–…haaa…”
“…Ku…haa…ahaha, I finally got to hold you. Asama… seeing your lewd face while awake, it’s the best.”
“Ngh, Shima, baraa.”
While embracing, we devoured each other’s lips. Shimabara’s hand gently combed my hair. And I gently caressed Shimabara’s back. Doing this, I was unbearably happy. Being embraced by the party that I had held an unrequited love for, I was overflowing with love and joy.
After cuddling for a while, Shimabara was revitalized and pulled out. Taking a few tissues from the table, he wiped off my lower body. Then he lit a cigarette. I watched the man that embraced me smoke the cigarette. As if resembling a woman. However, I felt that this was fine.
“Documents, they haven’t been written yet.”
Shimabara spat out those words along with the smoke. Speaking of which, I haven’t turned in the registration. Because it was a same-sex marriage rather than a marriage registration, it was a document based on nation-wide Partnership laws.
“We’re really married…”
“Naturally. I won’t let you go in this lifetime. Besides, you’ve already realized it right? You can’t live without me.”
It was mortifying, but true. I looked away from Shimabara and gave a small nod. Shimabara laughed happily.
“After marriage, next would be a child…”
“Hah!? Ch-children, are you serious!?”
“I thought about it seriously. If not, why would I buy such a large house? Could it be that you don’t like children?”
“I-it’s not that I don’t like children. Are we going to adopt?”
Shimabara who blew out tobacco smoke, delightfully narrowed his eyes. Gradually, I became afraid of Shimabara’s smile.
“Although adopting would be fine… there’s precedence for male childbirth by using an artificial womb, it’s being worked on. Fortunately, I have connections with a doctor at my previous pharmaceutical company. That guy said that five years later we’ll be able to do it in Japan.”
At the place he was in a while ago… on my abdomen, Shimabara’s fingers crawled over it.
“Because you’re awake, we can do it properly. Let’s do our best on this『infertility treatment』together… Asama.”
In the place where Shimabara’s fingers were touching, if one day a womb were planted, I would be able to make a child with Shimabara. Along with the sense of fear and anxiety, there was a rising exhilaration. Apparently, I’m not very normal either. Shimabara had transformed my body, I wonder if he had twisted my ethics as well. While experiencing a feeling similar to acceptance, I raised my body. Then, I took the cigarette that Shimabara was holding and carried it to my mouth.
“Sure, Shimabara… if that’s what you want.”
With my mouth filled with smoke, I kissed Shimabara. The sweet smoke filled our lungs.
“…You, it seems that we’re tied by cigarettes.”
As Shimabara said such a thing in embarrassment, I gave my body up to the heat. Slowly pushed down onto the sofa, I was swallowed by a whirlpool of pleasure.
I was held many times while enveloped by the scent of smoke and Shimabara’s love, completely becoming Shimabara’s wife.