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Translator: Jury
Editor: NomNom
Ling Miao wasn’t sure if the person was Su Yuyang, so he suppressed his agitation and didn’t go to open the door. Hu Yueyuan was in the shower. Hearing the knock, she shut off the water and called, “Ling Miao, open the door!”
Ling Miao pretended not to hear and continued reading his novel and listening to his music
“Ling Miao, I told you to open the door! You’re too lazy!” Hu Yueyuan wrapped a towel around herself and cursed as she opened the door.
She was still cursing as the man standing at the door awkwardly asked, “Might I ask…”
“Mm?” Seeing the outsider, Hu Yueyuan put away her anger and showed a smiling face instead. She looked over the man at the door from head to toe and was pleasantly surprised: This man is pretty handsome, but the bags under his eyes ruin his looks. Ah, a pity.
The man at the door was Su Yuyang. He saw Hu Yueyuan examining him and flushed slightly. He shuddered and hurriedly asked, “Is Ling Miao in?”
“Ling Miao?” At the mention of Ling Miao, Hu Yueyuan’s tone grew cold and she took an unfriendly attitude toward Su Yuyang too. She asked coldly, “What are you looking for him for?”
Su Yuyang noticed Hu Yueyuan’s change in attitude toward him. He thought, Why did her attitude change the moment I mentioned Ling Miao?
Su Yuyang looked at Hu Yueyuan and surmised she was about thirty. He guessed that she might be Ling Miao’s older sister.
If Ling Miao’s parents favored boys over girls and she’s Ling Miao’s big sis, it’s possible that she has some resentment toward Ling Miao.
“You’re Ling Miao’s big sis?” Su Yuyang guessed.
‘Big sis?’ Hu Yueyuan let out a laugh. “I’m his mom.”
Su Yuyang was stunned. He stood frozen to the spot. Feng Ji’s words surfaced in his mind: ‘If you go to Su Yuyang’s old house you might not find Ling Miao, but you might find his father and stepmother.’
“Aunt?” Su Yuyang tried.
Su Yuyang looked about twenty-three or twenty-four, about Hu Yueyuan’s age. Hearing a man her age call her ‘aunt’ made her anger flare. She yelled, “Fuck you, what ‘aunt?’” and made to close the door. Su Yuyang hurriedly held the door open and asked, “Before you shut the door, tell me if Ling Miao came home.”
She didn’t know what relationship this man had to Ling Miao, but just going by how gently he said ‘Ling Miao,’ Hu Yueyuan knew that their relationship wasn’t simple. And anyone who treated Ling Miao well was her, Hu Yueyuan’s, enemy!
“No!” Hu Yueyuan shouted with all her strength, the sound ringing in Su Yuyang’s ears. Ling Miao hadn’t returned, so Su Yuyang also had no reason to linger.
Here was the most unlikely but also the most likely place. Now Su Yuyang had lost his lead.
Do I really have to call all of Ling Miao’s classmates in his year in the phone book? Desolately, Su Yuyang turned around and started exhaustedly toward the stairs.
“Hey, old woman.” Ling Miao’s jeering voice came as Su Yuyang was about to start down the stairs. Su Yuyang turned and saw that the closed door was now open. Ling Miao was coldly watching the woman who had opened the door earlier.
“Xiao Miao!” Su Yuyang joyfully ran up to hug Ling Miao but Ling Miao pushed him away.
“My room. Wait for me.” Ling Miao’s tone was cold and doused Su Yuyang’s joy at once.
“I’ll wait for you.” Su Yuyang smiled. It was forced; he smiled as if he were crying.
If Ling Miao’s tone had been a little more flirtatious an outsider listening might think: It’s a date? And Su Yuyang’s answer also seemed to be saying: It’s a date.
Even though Ling Miao behaved coldly, Hu Yueyuan still sensed that something wasn’t right between him and Su Yuyang. She crossed her arms over her chest and said pointedly, “Your relationship with that man isn’t ordinary, is it?”
Ling Miao glared at her and said in a hard voice, “You’re not my mom. Don’t interfere in my matters.”
Ling Miao turned and left. As he turned, he accidentally caught Hu Yueyuan’s towel. Someone happened to be going up the stairs and caught a flash.
“Ahh—” Hu Yueyuan’s piercing scream reverberated through the building. She hurriedly shut the door and rushed to the bathroom.
Su Yuyang sat in front of the laptop and Ling Miao silently howled at the bad turn of events.
Displayed on the laptop screen was Su Yuyang’s microblog.
Hearing movement behind him, Su Yuyang turned his head to see Ling Miao walking toward the room.
Ling Miao closed the door then stood unmoving in the doorway.
“What about your stepmother?” Feeling the atmosphere was awkward, Su Yuyang opened his mouth first, but the moment the words left his mouth the atmosphere grew even heavier.
Ah, what silly thing did I do! Su Yuyang thought in internal self-reproach. Everything Hu Yueyuan and Ling Miao did had indicated only one thing: We’re as incompatible as fire and water.
“Towel fell off and a man saw her,” Ling Miao summarized. He wouldn’t tell Su Yuyang that he was the one who pulled the towel away.
“This blog post…” Su Yuyang tried to change the subject but Ling Miao cut him off.
Ling Miao said in a low voice, “I have something to say to you.”
Su Yuyang’s expression froze. He smiled. “If you don’t say anything, I can’t see you, either. You’ve been avoiding me but now you’ve shown yourself of your own accord. I thought that you might have something to say to me. I also know that hearing it will injure my heart again.”
Su Yuyang’s eyes were full of love as he looked at Ling Miao. He seemed to be saying: No matter what you say, I’ll accept it, but please don’t leave me.
Now that the scene he had rehearsed in his mind a hundred times had really appeared before his eyes, Ling Miao wasn’t sure how to begin.
“If you can’t say it…”
“I feel guilt.” Su Yuyang’s words must have provoked Ling Miao because the moment Su Yuyang opened his mouth, Ling Miao cut him off.
“I feel guilt,” Ling Miao repeated. “Tang Xuan’s death makes me feel like a sinner. Even though he kidnapped me, even though he wanted to kill me, it’s him who died in the end. Because I told him, the day before, that ‘if you want to kill someone, kill yourself!’ I didn’t think he’d really… I saw him die before my eyes and felt as if I had killed him myself. Su Yuyang, you can’t understand how I feel.
“The moment I think of this, I can’t face you. I feel like I don’t deserve your love. I…” Ling Miao choked up. He spilled all the words he had buried in his heart, like he was stripping away his heart layer by layer to reveal to his lover the most ugly side within.
“Who deserves my love, and who doesn’t—that’s for me to decide. I won’t give it to anyone who doesn’t deserve it.” Su Yuyang walked up to Ling Miao and kissed away his tears. “You’re the person I give all my love to. I have given it to you, so I hope that you will treasure it.”
“It’s too heavy.” Ling Miao started sobbing out loud. “Su Yuyang, your love is too heavy. I can’t bear the weight of a life!”
Su Yuyang kissed Ling Miao’s forehead, the corner of his eye, his lips, and said quietly, “Xiao Miao, don’t blame yourself. My love for you has nothing to do with Tang Xuan!”
Ling Miao stared at Su Yuyang tearfully and asked, “Why?”
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