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Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio
Yes, he had not been drunk. He had been sober all along, as he visualized his thoughts. Time had passed by in a flash; it was like a cruel hand that had submerged the memories and promises that they had made to each other. He looked up and saw the outfits that his family used to wear, that was hung up at the tall altar in the tomb towards the front. The tomb was majestic and encompassed a large area, but all that was buried inside was a few outfits and their belongings they had when they were alive. Their heads were still on display in the temple meant for sinners in Xia, while their bodies had probably been devoured by wild wolves, amidst the chaos.
He lifted his wine cup as the strong wine caused an intense burning sensation in his throat, which felt like burning charcoal. The wind blew into the big palace, causing the curtains to sway from side to side like the sleeves worn by dancers. Yan Xun’s line of sight was still clear. His thin, handsome face was slightly red; the look in his eyes was foggy, having been through the various vicissitudes of life. In just two years, he had been driven to the point of extreme fatigue. His entire life seemed to be filled with obstacles along the way. Gradually, the people in his life left, one by one, towards different directions, although they had set off together on their journeys.
“Father,” he uttered, breaking the silence, as he felt a sense of calm, “father, you lied to me.” Yan Xun looked up at the portrait on the altar. His father’s image was vivid. He looked at the man whom he had idolized as a child and said quietly, “You said that Yan Bei was a utopia, the freest and most prosperous place in the world. You said that all you did was for the continuity of future generations, but you were wrong. You were utterly wrong. You destroyed Yan Bei and yourself, along with the Yan family. During my eight years in Zhen Huang, I survived all because of my trust in you, and the dreams that I harbored. However, when I got back to Yan Bei after going through so much, you didn’t know how disappointed I was.”
Yan Xun was emotionless; the palace was enveloped in silence. He looked quietly at the portrait of his father as he continued, “There are walls everywhere. It’s cold. However, you isolated yourself and built your own utopia amongst the cracks. Do you know how naive this was? Hence, the emperor could not tolerate you anymore. The world could not tolerate you anymore. Even your subordinates betrayed you, because you were not powerful enough to complete even what the emperor could not.
“Father, I killed Mister Wu and Lady Yu because they were still carrying out your last wishes. They became obstacles towards my progress. I gave them chances, but they did not treasure it. I killed Huanhuan because Da Tong wanted to appoint her as its new leader. As long as she was around, Da Tong would not die out. I killed your old subordinates because they were myopic, yet they still held such high positions. I killed many people. I’m nearer to my dreams now.” Yan Xun looked up and downed another cup of wine. He refilled his cup and poured its contents out onto the floor as he muttered word by word, “Father, I will not be like you.”
Yan Xun stood upright as he turned to leave; the bottom of his outfit brushed against the floor, sweeping the dust up in the air. He was calm as he took small strides, each of them reflecting his determination. The candlelight shone on his body, forming a long shadow. The shrines of the warriors of Yan Bei stood behind him, consisting of his parents, his brothers, his ancestors, the nation’s loyal subjects, Mister Wu, Lady Yu, Xiaohe, Huanhuan, Biancang, Xirui, AhDu, the leaders of the Xiuli Army who had sacrificed themselves while defending Beishuo, like Wu Danyu and Feng Ting… Many pairs of eyes seemed to stare at him as he walked out of the palace step by step, as he left the place where all the dead souls resided.
His steps were steady and did not carry any hint of remorse or hesitation. His eyes were pitch-black as the cold winds welcomed him. He remembered the night when he left Zhen Huang, when AhChu selflessly went back to rescue the soldiers of the Southwest Emissary’s Garrison who were trapped in the capital. Perhaps, from that moment, he had predicted that things would have turned out this way. Their aspirations and beliefs were different and irreconcilable, which meant that they were bound to become more distant from each other as they walked on different paths. Ultimately, there was a price to pay for achieving one’s dreams.
The price that he had paid was that he was no longer the man which she had envisioned him to be.
He started to feel weak all over, but he suppressed these feelings ruthlessly without thinking any further.
AhChu, when you turned to leave, I knew that you were destined not to follow me in this life. You were destined to walk on the morally upright path, while I would not be able to distance myself from the life of bloodshed. I was unable to fly with you, hence I wanted to break your wings to keep you by my side. However, I still failed.
“AhChu…” the low voice echoed out in the big palace. The man stood by the entrance as the cold, pale moonlight shone on his face, coloring it a shade of white. He closed his eyes slowly and calmly, frowning as he reflected solemnly.
“AhChu… Will you still come back?”
The moon was half-covered by the layer of clouds, making it hard for birds to fly by. He stood on the peak of the mountain as his eyes swept across the entire land of Yan Bei. He thought to himself quietly, Perhaps, she will never come back again.
“Your Majesty!” AhJing pushed the guards aside as they attempted to stop him. He stumbled to Yan Xun’s side as he knelt on the ground, shouting in an agitated manner, “Your Majesty, save Missy. It’s snowing heavily at Longyin, and the gates are closed. The Xia troops have surrounded them for many days. She will not be able to tolerate it any further.”
Yan Xun remained silent as he looked at the majestic mountains in front of him, falling into deep thought.
“Your Majesty, Miss has followed you for many years, risking her life for you. We all know what contributions she has made. Your Majesty, can you really bear to kill her? Have you forgotten what you said previously?” AhJing kowtowed repeatedly as he pleaded, his eyes bloodshot. “Your Majesty, please have mercy. I beg you…”
“AhJing…” Yan Xun opened his mouth as he seemingly realized his existence. Frowning, he questioned, “In what way can I save her?”
AhJing replied with joy, “Open the gates of Longyin and send the troops out to reinforce them…”
Before he had finished, Yan Xun countered, “Do you think she will come back even if I opened up Longyin Pass?”
AhJing froze as he thought for a long while before mumbling, “Then…we can open up the waterways along the southern borders leading to Tang. We can let her leave by that route, through Tangshui Pass.”
“By the south?” Yan Xun replied with a calm voice as he continued to question, “Does that mean she won’t come back anymore?”
AhJing was completely rendered speechless.
Yan Xun smiled and asked, “Does that mean that I will lose her forever?”
In the cold night, AhJing felt cold sweat all over his body. After a long while, he jumped up and turned to run as he shouted, “I’ll persuade Miss to come back!”
Yan Xun did not stop him, nor even look at him, choosing to stand at his original position silently instead. The dark clouds covered the moon. It was about to snow again. Was AhChu not able to take it anymore? Silly lass, why don’t you come back then? He frowned and thought like an innocent child, seemingly deceiving himself by eliminating all the political reasons that had led to today’s events. It was like the way they fought when they were young. When one of them wandered off, the other would think: why don’t you come back? It’s cold outside.
If time could tell, AhChu, would you still choose to be entangled with me? Did you predict that you would land in this state today? How deep was your hatred towards me?
“Your Majesty,” a low, respectful voice sounded out from behind Yan Xun’s back, “please open the pass by the borders and let General Chu go.”
Yan Xun froze and turned around, looking towards Cheng Yuan. “What’s the matter? Are you interceding on her behalf too?”
“I’m not interceding on behalf of General Chu,” Cheng Yuan replied calmly and continued, “I’m interceding on behalf of Your Majesty.” Cheng Yuan kowtowed heavily on the ground and continued slowly in his low voice, “Your Majesty, give yourself a lifeline.”
At that moment, Yan Xun’s heart felt like it had been stabbed, as waves of acute pain surged from within.
“If General Chu dies at the hands of Your Majesty, Your Majesty will never be happy. You said this before too. No matter what your dreams are, you have to be alive in order to have hope. If you are dead, it’s too late for anything.”
Yan Xun remained silent for a long time as the winds tugged at his robe. He stood atop the mountain peak, appearing like an eagle which had spread out its wings.
“Cheng Yuan, why are you saying all this? Don’t you have a grudge against AhChu?”
“I don’t bear any grudges against General Chu. I offended her previously, but it was unintentional. When I wanted her dead, it was purely to ensure that I would survive. Now that she is no longer a threat to Your Majesty, I don’t want to see her die either. Most importantly,” Cheng Yuan raised his head, looked at Yan Xun with energy with his eyes and continued, “I don’t wish for Your Majesty’s heart to be held back. In this world, only Your Majesty can make my wishes come true, and only Your Majesty is worthy of me to follow. My loyalty for Your Majesty is undying, even if Your Majesty turns evil and is despised by the world. I will follow Your Majesty all the way till I die. If Your Majesty wants to kill everyone in the world, I will be the first one to raise my sword; if Your Majesty wants to use human corpses to fill the Eastern Sea, I will be the first one to chop my own head off. I have wandered around for half my life and have been despised by many, because I have not found a thing worthy for me to believe in. Presently, I have found it. Your Majesty’s hopes are my beliefs. Hence, I don’t wish for Your Majesty to live a life of remorse and regret. Your Majesty, let her go.”
Yan Xun’s range of emotions suddenly widened. In that instant, he remembered everything that had happened these ten years, as scene by scene flashed in front of him. The young child rose from the pool of blood and stared at him, eyes full of hatred. His heart ached and he used his finger to caress the child’s neck. The wind blew at the hair in front of the child’s head and with this, he forever remembered the look in that pair of eyes, which was full of unyielding spirit.
Ultimately…
He closed his eyes and started to distance himself from those memories. All those emotions of love were snapped by him at that moment, causing him to feel immense pain inside. “Convey my orders to General Qiu and tell him to open the waterways at the southern borders. Let them…”
“Your Majesty!” A loud cry echoed out. The messenger troop stumbled across the stone steps as he climbed up the mountain. As he ran, he shouted, “Emergency news from the border! Emergency news from the border!”
Yan Xun and Cheng Yuan turned around to see the horrified look on the soldier’s face. He knelt on the ground and opened the document, reading aloud,
“From the vice general of Tangshui Pass at the southern borders, Qi Shaoqian:
On the 16th day of the ninth month, an unknown enemy attacked Tangshui Pass at the southern borders. They appeared in the territory of Yan Bei out of the blue and cut off our communication lines, conquering 13 counties in the process. The chief marshal of Tangshui Pass, General Qiu, died in battle. All officials with the rank of Major General and above all died in battle too. We have lost about 30,000 people in total. Yesterday afternoon, Tangshui Pass was breached. Our forces engaged in battle with the enemy. This is my last messenger and my last warhorse, and I hope that the news can reach Your Majesty. I will defend my position to the death, and I will not let the Yan Bei Army’s reputation down. The 50,000 warriors at Tangshui Pass have let Your Majesty down, and I acknowledge my mistakes in this letter.”