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Louise couldn’t say anything for a long time. She didn’t even know where to begin. She stared at the small candle shining alone in the dark, the orange flame eating through the white candle.
“There is.”
She spoke the first words, but found it difficult to continue.
“Actually, I mean.”
She fidgeted with the warm jacket wrapped around her shoulders.
“I-I knew–”
Louise pulled her eyes away from the candle and looked up at Ian carefully.
“I knew you, President, even before we met…”
He gave her a puzzled look, but his face soon relaxed as if he understood her.
“I suppose so. The capital records everything from childhood to old age.”
“No, that’s not what I mean!”
Louise mended her words. They would have to talk, but it would be a long one.
“I mean that I know what happens now, at the present. Not about the young crown prince.”
He looked at her incredulously. Thank goodness she was a careful speaker, or anyone else would have immediately asked her if she was a witch.
“I knew you would become like this.”
“Like what?”
“Just.”
Louise turned to the candle again.
” …Perfect.”
Just as she read in the novel.
“You’re sweet and you have a good mind, even when you pretend you don’t.”
“In other words, I grew up to your expectations. You should know you’re far beyond my expectations.”
“I don’t mean expectations!”
The jacket slipped off shoulders because of her forceful answer. Ian wordlessly adjusted the jacket, his touch warm and friendly, as if to reassure her that he would always be on her side.
” …I.”
Louise managed to continue.
“I mean that I knew the future.”
“How?”
He asked without any hesitation.
“I saw it.”
“Did someone give you a prophecy?”
“It’s not a prophecy…”
Louise bit her lip.
“You’ll think I’m crazy when I tell you this.”
“I doubt it. Unless you want to say you’ve come to hate me.”
“How can I say that…?”
“It’s alright as long as it’s not that. Anything at all.”
His words gave Louise the courage to go on.
“Well, it’s so old that I almost forgot.”
She grabbed her ring finger carefully.
“One day. There was a girl.”
She bowed her head deeply. Beyond the pitch darkness of the candle, there was the name and face of a girl that had long since disappeared.
“The child…dreamed of being ordinary.”
She had been afraid of reality.
“Sometimes it was hard to breathe, and she couldn’t run away.”
And so whenever her heart was sore, she read novels. She devoured anything, as long as the protagonist was loved, the story was heartwarming, and the ending was happy. When she read those stories, she didn’t have to think about reality.
“Some were books, but there was one on the screen.”
” …Screen?”
It could mean a PC or a mobile screen, but she read it on a PC. She also had the added benefit of looking at larger versions of the artwork. She wanted to say, “I love you, illustrator!”
But she couldn’t answer that. How should she explain it?
“It’s like a magic orb from a fairy tale book. A reflection of another world…”
“Ah.”
He nodded right away.
“I saw you there.”
“Right.”
“To me, it was a story of another world that I could watch. But I loved it, truly.”
“So, how did the Louise Sweeney of the distant world come to me?”
“Louise Sweeney was—was there from the beginning.”
Louise twisted her finger a little harder.
“One day.”
Her mind turned towards a moment. It was a moment that didn’t make sense even when she thought about it now.
“I opened my eyes and I was here.”
He gave a small ‘Hmm?’ sound. It was obvious that she didn’t understand. How could she make him understand something like that? She didn’t know the answer.
“Well, I opened my eyes, and I was here. Here in the body of Louise Sweeney.”
“When was that?”
“It was a long time before I met you. From a very young age…”
“…”
“I’m sorry.”
She felt like she had been deceiving him, and she murmured a deep apology. But the truth was, she had been deceiving him. Him and everyone else that gave her their unconditional love. For no reason, Louise slid her finger down.
“Why are you apologizing?”
His hand followed hers and caught her retreating fingertips. Then he twined his fingers with hers, as if they belonged to him.
His touch burned vividly on her hand. The solid flesh, the sensation of each other’s skin, and warmth that emitted from his palm.
He was real. He was a real Ian Audmonial.
” …I am a fake.”
The fact had been bothering her for a long time. Her happiness was as dark as the shadows.