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My mind was wandering all over the place so when I got home that night, I did not even hear my old lady calling me. Of course, more trouble ensued.
“Son, why do you always forget things? You’re just like your old man—a woman inside a man’s body. Ah-Fen told me everything: the murderer came to your shop today. He’s up to no good, I tell you. You gotta draw the line with him, okay? And if he comes again, ignore him. Don’t feel like you owe him anything. You and your dad are like, uh, whatshisname, the one who saved the wolf and almost fed himself to it?”
I filled in the blank for her—Master Dongguo.
“Right, Master Dongguo. Now where was I? Oh yeah. He wouldn’t dare cause any trouble when we got people in the police station. You should’ve just given him some money, not eat dinner together.” She heaved a sigh. “You’re a grown man already so stop making us old bags of bones worry for you. Didn’t you say Ah-Fen’s nice? She cares about you a lot too. She’s a sweet, little thing. You should consider…”
My mom was a nagging harpy.
“You done, woman? Your son needs to sleep!” My dad yelled down from upstairs.
I yawned and started climbing up.
After two steps, I turned back around and said to my mom, “No wonder you like Ah-Fen. You’re just as naggy as her.”
“Hey! You hold it right there! What did you say to me?”
I giggled the entire time as I went upstairs. There was no point in arguing about a lot of things with older people. They had an impermeable mindset about certain issues. At any rate, they were the parents who had raised me, my closest two people in the world. I learned after all my years struggling in society to not get in a conflict with your parents or anyone for that matter. Just do what you should do. Fighting won’t make you right.
I really did not want them to worry about me.
However, this time, I was not so certain.
Dad came in right after I lied down on the bed. My old man and I had not had a heart-to-heart for ages, the last time being university applications in senior year. He had not let me apply to faraway but easier schools and instead made me apply to schools along the Shanghai-Nanjing railway. In the end, I did not make it into the school of medicine of City N and did agricultural parasites instead.
My old man sat tall and proper while saying some important stuff.
“They say honour is the first and foremost when navigating the jianghu. We must not go against our morals. That fellow was released for doing good which means he is inherently a good person. We were at fault to start with so we must help out if he is in trouble.”
See, my old man worked in a museum for his whole life. Jianghu, I chortled in my mind.
“Your ma is just being a typical woman but she’s right about one thing. You should settle down soon. The Qian family only has you as the only male heir so you have to leave our name behind!”
Sigh. Marriage. Heirs.
Sigh. I don’t like women. No, I do not.
I’ll just tell them straight to the face tomorrow morning, that I’m impotent. No, they’ll just bury me in medicine. Ahhhhhhhh, enough! Sleep now, think later!
I thought I saw Shen Bin’s eyes with my head under the sheets.
Those black, impenetrable eyes.
Compared with him, I was much better off. At least I had a big family and my parents were still alive and in good health. I was the only son and everyone adored me.
And what about him?
Honestly, I did not have much of a relationship with him. Before the incident, he only came to my shop to get disks and after it, I only saw him three times. Why was I constantly thinking about him then?
He said he has a place to go but he doesn’t even have a place to stay in. Where could he possibly go?
He better not go down the wrong path!
Startled, I sat up and my back was wet with cold sweat.
×××
I had not liked anyone aside from my parents and relatives. I did not even have any close friends. My world was made up of movies plus novels, entirely fictional.
I really didn’t know how to take care of another person.
Seeing Shen Bin lying on the cot in high fever, I had no idea what to do.
I could not go to the hospital. There weren’t any drugs in the shop and the drugstores were all closed by now because it was the holiday season. Going back home would raise suspicion.
I thought silently to myself. Hmm, serves you right. Told you to behave. Serves you right to get hurt. You’re far from dead anyways.
He was so tall that he could not even lie flat on the cot. He kept groaning under his breath and frowning. I could not tell if it was a knife or gunshot wound.
This guy would always come running to me when he got into trouble.
This guy, he had gone down the wrong path.
And there was no turning back for him.
I had separated my fictional and real world very well.
I had only wanted to run a rental shop, watch my movies and live a simple life.
He would change my life.
And I couldn’t let anyone do that.
The following night after the dinner, I went over to the house of his buddy, Mini-Chicken—Lin Dongfu (and I had thought it was the actor, Lin Dongfu)—and told my family I was going to sleep in the shop.
There was only the two of us and he could not withstand my interrogation so he spilled.
He told me he met a boss in jail who took good care of him. Now this boss person had been released, too, and started a security company in Shanghai. He asked Shen Bin to work for him.
Security company? Bodyguards? Why did it sound like something from a movie?
Security service was a borderline legal career to begin with and the company was run by ex-convicts…
But it was none of my business.
Really, he should just come and work in my shop. Things might have been a bit hard at first but at least it was a proper job.
I did not say anything.
“You not happy?” He blinked at me.
His eyes were really pretty.
My face was a bit warm. “Who? Me? It’s nothing to do with me!”
“Why’s your face red?”
“What?” I lied saying it was hot and got up to leave.
“’Kay, I’ll go with you. Let’s go watch some stuff at your shop. I really like Happy Together,” he said as he got up too.
“That’s a ‘fag film.’ Why do you like watching them so much?” The rascal had some taste after all.
“I can like them too.” He didn’t look at me but stared at the ground and crushed a beetle crawling on Lin Dongfu’s floor. He spoke very softly. But I was entranced by it.
“I run a rental shop. It’s a job requirement for me, not a matter of preference.”
“Job requirement, huh?” He was still very quiet. He stopped and swung an arm over.
“What are you doing?” He rested his arm on my shoulder. He would always do this just because he had the height advantage.
“Let’s go already. Lin Dongfu’s rents gonna be back soon from mah-jong.”
See, this guy kicked Mini-Chicken out of his own house. I felt kind of bad for the little guy.
We headed for my shop.
No conversation the whole way.
He just kept trailing behind me. I did not want him to have his arm around me but I never said he couldn’t walk beside me.
“Hey!” I stopped. Having someone dogging you at night time felt really weird. “Get up here.”
“No.”
“Hey!”
“I said no!”
“Screw you!”
He just stood there without retorting.
Was he mad?
I sometimes wondered whether he saw me as his mom or older brother.
He was only twenty years old.
And orphaned.
Anyhow, it felt quite nice having someone who needed my comforting and reassurance.