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“I like you!”
Aah, aah, why?
Why, is the world so cruel?
Even though I’ve finally given up.
Even though all my tears have finally dried.
Even though I should have forgotten.
My mind has gone blank, not knowing what I ought to say.
In the spur of the moment, what I blurted out was.
“…..eh, iya, ano…I’m already going out with someone, sorry.”
Rejection.
I first laid my eyes upon you at the open ceremony of our junior high school.
I fell in love at first sight, at the sight of you in the midst of dancing petals of falling sakura.
‘I must befriend her!’
Brimming with enthusiasm, I jumped into class, only to be surprised by you.
Before I knew it, you were sitting behind me, grinning at my childish line.
A single line, straightforward and tactless, ‘Let’s be friends’.
Seriously, just how deeply are you going to enthrall me before you are satisfied?
I want to always be with you. Always.
But, I don’t want to destroy this connection between us.
In the end, I didn’t know what to do.
In the blink of an eye, junior high was over.
By the time I noticed, we were already high schoolers.
Aah, aah, I was just like a puppet.
A puppet controlled by an unskilled puppeteer.
I wanted to have you to myself.
Yet, I didn’t want to be hated by you.
With conflicting intentions, I never made a move.
For the sake of being able to see you, you who had better grades, I somehow managed to enter the same high school as you.
However, God was a little mischievous and unlike junior high, we were in different classes.
I want to meet you as much as I can, so if you find any spare time, please let me see you?
In order to have the excuse of having you coach me in my studies, I pretended to study diligently.
And persistently continue this friendship.
That’s right, “Best Friends”, closer than anyone else.
Nothing more, nothing less.
I am simply your ‘friend’.
“Let’s always be together!”
Even after the two of us made this promise, my eyes have always been chasing after you.
Worrying that you would be snatched away by someone better.
I didn’t want that to happen. But, I didn’t have the courage to confess.
However, someday, someday…
In this heart of mine, she smoothly slipped in.
“I’ve always been looking at you.”
She said so with a ridiculously serious face.
“I really like you.”
The line I’ve always wanted to say has been directed at me.
Aah, God.
What’s the meaning of this?
I have someone I like, someone I really like, someone I can’t forget.
I should reject this confession that I can’t reciprocate, shouldn’t I?
“You have someone you can’t forget, right?”
Despite somehow spitting that line out with great will, almost as though in self-ridicule…
“It’s fine even if I can only look at you.”
Unknowingly, tears have begun streaming down my cheeks.
But even so, I didn’t go out with her because of that.
Let’s start by being ‘friends’.
Such a convenient line.
While feeling pained, I spent time with her as though trying to forget all of it.
Even so, she did not have a single complain against this relationship conveniently labeled as ‘friendship’.
Around the time when I got a recommendation to a university, we were at the stage of holding hands, and went for a ‘fake date’ as well.
However, my heart was still hurting a little.
After graduation, I confessed to her!
Well, seems I got a little too enthusiastic.
And then, the season changed.
Sakura has bloomed.
After confessing to her, I went up to the rooftop to meet my best friend.
Despite separating after the confession, it had been a great success.
Even as I unconsciously leaked out a smile, I still felt a little sorrow.
Peeking out of the window, the weather seemed sunny and no clouds hung above.
I had been beneath the sakura trees, with my phone in hand, when I received a message from you.
I opened the door to the rooftop.
As the door opened, you started speaking.
“Yaa, I hate beating about the bush so I’ll get right down to it.”
You sat on the roof railings, with a serious look on your face that I’ve never seen before.
And we are now back to the start of the story.
“I like you!“
“…..eh, iya, ano…I’m already going out with someone, sorry.”
Although I rejected you on the spur of the moment.
This had given me the shock of my life.
After all, I had just rejected your confession.
I don’t understand, I can’t comprehend.
My only thought was, when did I fall so deeply in love with her?
Having heard that, your response was “I know.”
You made a look as though it’s natural for you to be rejected.
Even as you seem to be on the verge of tears, you unreasonably forced yourself to smile.
With this being the rooftop, the setting sun and birds flying off the in distance behind you looked ever so beautiful.
“But, but. You are the one I love most. I’ve always been looking at you. See you then, bye bye.”
You slowly leaned backwards on the railing.
If this goes on, the pavement would become the merciless weapon sending you to hell.
I subconsciously moved.
With the most beautiful smile I’ve seen on your face thus far, you were about to disappear with the setting sun.
Without thinking, I was reaching my hand out to you with all my might.
At this moment, time seemed to stop and the world turned monochrome.
“I guess it can’t be helped.”
You who were facing the sky.
I finally arrived by your side.
Having rushed out on impulse, all that we can do now is to fall together.
The beautiful smile you previously had was now replaced by a look of shock as if to say “Why?”
What, why are you so shocked?
Even as we fall, we shall be together as one.
While I didn’t voice it out, I’m sure you understood.
[Together, Always]
On our headlong descend towards Earth, I returned your smile.
Surely, it’s going to hurt like hell.
But, this is my punishment for liking both of them and letting things get to this.
Fuck me.