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Left all alone, I lay in my bed with my arms around my teddy bear. Lee JiHan kept talking about his first love, could that be me? No, he’s been spending all his time with only me for the last month. If it’s not me, then who could it be? I was around and awake this whole time, so when and how did he ever meet another girl?
I narrowed my eyes in concentration as I flashed through JiHan’s actions. There was no way it could be another girl. I started to chew my fingernails.
When I finally snapped out of it, I realized I had my teddy bear in a headlock. I released my suffocating hold on the bear and whacked myself on the head with its cuddly paws.
“AhJung, wake up!” I said out loud. There is no way Lee JiHan’s first love is you. Being stuck in a princess room, you’re starting to think like you’re actually a princess or something. What are you thinking? Ah, but you never know?
As if flipping a pancake, I changed my mind back and forth. I grabbed the phone near my head and started typing a message on the keyboard to JiKyung. In the midst of it, my eyes caught sight of his previous message to me.
[I told you already. My brother has high standards. So quit misunderstanding the situation.]
After reading the message, I concluded that my asking again would lead to the same answer. I realized that this was probably the reality of the situation.
Forget it, let’s just sleep instead of getting your hopes up for nothing. I’d rather sleep so I don’t have to think about anything.
I turned my back towards the door, cradled my entire body around the teddy bear, closed my eyes and fell asleep.
***
Lee JiHan
How many girls would be happy to find out that their future brother-in-law liked them? No. Let’s not think about other girls, only think of AhJung.
Na AhJung loved my brother. It wasn’t an arranged marriage, but one where she actually loved him. If I suddenly got in the middle of it and shoved my feelings in her face, would she take it? No, could she even believe it? I liked her. It even sounded ridiculous to me, so it would be practically impossible to think that AhJung would believe it. She doesn’t even believe in the fair play pact I made with her.
“So what? Did you come here to ask me for a talisman that will make the girl fall for you this time?” asked the fortune-teller sitting across me, interrupting my thoughts.
“No. If her feelings for my brother disappear, then there’s no reason she won’t accept me. I can make her fall for me on my own so the talisman she has is already plenty,” I answered, remembering the talisman that was meant to erase AhJung’s feelings for my brother.
“Then why did you come here? Do you want to know what your future is like with the girl?”
“I can decide my own future. Even if you say it won’t work, I’ll make it work.”
“You’ll make it work, even if I say it won’t?”
“Yes.”
The fortune-teller frowned in disbelief at my straightforward answer.
“Then why did you bother coming here?”
“I’ve already decided the future so I want you to listen to it.”
The fortune teller’s expression crinkled even more. After staring at me for a long time, she spoke.
“You said that the girl won’t even believe that you like her. So how will you make it work?”
“First, I’m going to make that girl like herself,” I prophesied confidently with my arms crossed. “In my opinion, this girl’s main problem is that she doesn’t like herself. She has to learn to love herself to believe that someone else could love her. It’ll be like a self-esteem booster.”
“She doesn’t like herself at 33 years old? With that personality, even her parents won’t be able to fix her. How are you going to do it?”
“It’s not that her parents couldn’t fix it, it’s that there were no parents present to fix it. Her mother passed away when she was young and she might have just not had a father.”
Remembering the father that might as well not exist, I flashed back to the memory of a couple of days ago.
A few days ago, when I had gone looking for Na AhJung at her house, I found the living room redecorated with a sofa, table, and television that had not been there previously. When I had first seen that room, AhJung had been sleeping in that space. She hadn’t even been officially married off and yet they had filled her old room with furniture that didn’t even match as if they expected her to never return.
For 15 years, Na AhJung had lived there, and now not a speck of her existence remained.
Plus, upon hearing that AhJung couldn’t be contacted, her father did not react at all to hearing that his daughter had gone missing. He didn’t know where she might have gone, or who her close friends might be. He spoke of her as if it was someone else’s daughter. That kind of father made that kind of daughter. It was textbook behavior.
“Yes. Na AhJung never had parents to do that for her. Someone who would love and trust her no matter what. She was a girl that never had that. That’s why she fell for my brother so easily.” I nodded bitterly.
AhJung had never had someone like my brother to trust and cheer her on back then.
“So, you’re going to instill self-esteem into a girl that has none?”
“That’s right.”
“How?”
“Before I came here, I met with a theater script writer. He’s quite well known around these parts, and I asked him to write a comic play with Na AhJung in mind.”
“A comic play with the girl in mind?”
“From what I see, AhJung’s only problem is that she is living the life of someone in their 30s with the face of someone in their teens. The characters she can play are already limited but she keeps getting older. She can only play the parts of young girls but because of her age, she can’t compete with the actual younger girls that rise in competition.”
“It is a bit extreme. I thought she was a middle schooler.”
“So I suggested the part of a woman in her 30s who is cursed by her teen looking face. A comic play that will need a character that matches AhJung to the tee. I asked him to create it fast, within the month.”
The fortune-teller gaped in surprise.
“AhJung’s self-esteem will grow exponentially after finding success. And as a bonus, I even hired a photographer. Someone to follow her around secretly like the paparazzi.”
“Paparazzi? What for?”
“So I can show her how pretty she looks regularly. I’m going to show her through pictures.” I smiled at the plan I had concocted in only a couple of hours.
“Huh…well, they say you never know what will happen to a person but this is really something.”
The fortune-teller shook her head pityingly but I shook my head even harder in comparison.
“Not just something, EVERYTHING. Whether you look at my family or my wealth. Whatever you compare, I am the loser of this love story.”
“At least you know that.”
“I can’t be hung up on her family and riches. Me or my ancestors.”
I nodded somewhat sadly, but stopped and looked at the fortune-teller sincerely.
“I still like this girl. She has no money or a good family, and she’s old. But I don’t care. It’s like those things don’t even matter. I really like this girl.”
“What do you like so much about her?”
At the fortune-teller’s question, the answer popped up immediately in my head. Before I had to even think about it, I realized that the answer was in the way I had reacted toward JungHoon.
For the past month, I’ve smiled because of her every day, three meals a day. Do you know how hard that is? You can’t buy laughter with money. Three times a day is standard, and there are more days that I laugh even more than that. I don’t care what a hundred people think! What I think won’t change. That girl is pretty and makes a person feel good, and is a wonderful actress. If anyone had believed in her and gave her a chance, she would have been successful. So that girl is a hundred, thousand times too good for you. I’m going to give that girl to a man who will see her potential and support her!
Listening to the voice of my memory, I contemplated my feelings. I smiled naturally at the thought.
“She makes me laugh every day, and in my eyes, she’s the prettiest person in the world, and she makes me feel good. Plus, I get excited thinking about how much she will grow when her potential is properly nurtured. It’s just natural for me to like her.”
The fortune-teller watched me silently for a long time. Then she shook her head and muttered.
“You’re blinded, blinded.”
“I know. Blinded by those damn rose-colored glasses.”
“At least if it’s a ghost, I can get rid of it, but I can’t do anything about that.”
“If it’s a ghost then I would want to get rid of it, but I want to keep this. It has made me experience a lot more good things.”
“Good things?”
“I get happy when she looks pretty, and there are a lot more times that happens now. Just looking at her makes me happy.”
The fortune-teller looked at me with curious eyes. Then nodded after a few minutes.
“If that’s the case, then you should hold onto her. Okay, so first you will raise her self-esteem, then what’s next?”
“I’ll tell her that I like her.” As if emphasizing an important prophecy I raised my thumb in confirmation. “Na AhJung will believe me then because of her increased self-esteem. When she finally loves me more than my brother, then, the end.”
The fortune-teller frowned at my all too simple ending.
“Wait. Is it that simple?”
“Is it supposed to be hard?”
“Most people find this to be the hardest part. Gaining someone’s love is not that easy.”
“That’s for normal people. Not for someone like me,” I replied seriously.
“…I can’t believe it. You’ve persuaded me.” The fortune-teller fanned her face in irritation.
“Anyways, this is how my future has been set. Do you have any other questions for me?”
“No. Did you really come all the way here to tell me all of this?”
I shrugged my shoulders at the exasperated fortune-teller. “That’s not the only reason. I also came to collect the talisman that will make things work out for her.” I looked at the clock. “I do have another errand to run so I must get going soon. I would appreciate the talisman quickly.”
“You’ve already set up your future, why are you bothered with someone else’s talisman? You shouldn’t even believe in this stuff.”
“I’m not worried about my life, but I am worried about hers.”
The reason I went to check my future was that I knew that it would be great. Born with a golden spoon in my mouth, riding a golden chariot, and forever encompassed by gold. Hearing such praise from a professional helped boost my ego. But that was the extent of it.
If they told me that my future would look different than what I want, or that I would not be able to obtain the things that I want, I didn’t listen. Those were my choices to make.
I never needed the help of a talisman for my personal use, but for Na AhJung, it was different. I wanted to give every good thing possible to that girl.
“Might as well give me several. So I can sew them on every bag she owns.”
I checked the time after finishing my order. I had 15 minutes left until my next appointment. There was enough time to draw up ten talismans.
“Ten, please. So her luck will increase tenfold. And in five minutes please.”
The fortune-teller took out the paper cocked her head.
“What’s the rush?”
“If I’m going to arrive at the hair salon in 15 minutes, then I don’t have much time.”
“At this hour? It’s 9 p.m.?”
“After dying my hair, I’ll be able to arrive home in time for bed.”
“There are places that take appointments at this time?”
“They take my appointments. Anyways, hurry.”
At my insistence, the fortune-teller took out her brush and asked me a question.
“Why are you suddenly dying your hair?”
“So I can go around advertising that I am gold,” I said pointing at my hair. The fortune-teller glanced at my hair, understood my plan, and laughed heartily.
“Sure is doing all sorts of things,” she muttered to herself. “That golden ax has fallen deep into that lake.”
The golden ax in the lake. Liking the sound of the expression, I smiled.