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Cancel the venue. Studio, dress, makeup, canceled. Let the invitees to the wedding know about the cancellation.
I sighed as I sat at the desk writing out what I had to do.
We wouldn’t be able to get our full deposit back now from the venue. What made me worried more than that was informing my father and stepmother about it.
Ah…They’re going to think I’m so pathetic… My head fell to the desk with a thud in my depression. Should I just pretend I got married, leave that wretched house, and cut ties with them? But I have nowhere to go at the moment…
I shook my head with my head still glued to the desk.
The Blue Theatre still had plays going on, so I couldn’t stay in the practice room. I couldn’t stay at Lee JiHan’s place any longer. Before I could stay there on the premise that I was trying to gain approval from the in-laws. Once we broke off the engagement, it was not for the in-laws. It was just living together.
Ah! I can’t, I can’t.
My head shot back up. I shook my head vigorously. The situation now was completely different from when Lee JiHan was my future brother-in-law. Back then, I wasn’t supposed to have any physical attraction to him. Now, it was at its peak.
Yes. It’s dangerous here now. Living together with someone you are allowed to feel something for. Something is bound to happen, isn’t it? Well, even if nothing were to happen, how will it look to others? And, there’s no way nothing can happen.
I closed my notebook resolutely certain of my judgement. I got up to start packing. The soreness in my legs caught me off guard.
“Ahhh!”
When I was hugging JiKyung at the airport, I was so ecstatic that I was able to ignore the pain. Not having a shadow hanging over me any longer, the aches seemed to be screaming to me that it was their turn for the spotlight.
Ow, my whole body…
I was bent over in pain as I rubbed my sore thighs. Looking around to check what I had to pack, I slowly moved to the closet. I grabbed my worn out bag that I had brought when I first moved in.
The clothes I had worn. The phone I had brought with me. The charger. Wallet. That’s it.
It didn’t take long to finish packing my bag. I placed it on top of my bed. It was still bright outside, so I didn’t think I had to leave just yet. Since it would be my last day there, I wanted to spend it in a special way before I left. I walked back to the desk and reopened my notebook. I wrote all the things I wanted to do with Lee JiHan in it. I chose only those things that we could do at home.
***
A few moments later, I stood in front of Lee JiHan’s room hugging my teddy bear. I knocked nervously with the teddy bear there for comfort.
Lee JiHan soon came to the door. “What is it? Why aren’t you sleeping? We were up all night sorting out that mess, and we even went to the airport in the morning.”
“Make me sweet and sour pork!” I blurted out bravely.
“What did you just say?” Lee JiHan asked me suspiciously with a stone face.
“Sweet and sour pork… I want to eat it. The one you make….”
“Sweet and sour pork, you’re asking me to make it for you?” Lee JiHan looked like he couldn’t believe that I had said that to him.
Am I not allowed to ask him for this favor? Should I not have asked? Is it a difficult favor?
My bravery was dissipating fast, and my head started to sink. Raising the notebook I had in my hand, I read the line below sweet and sour pork.
“Or marinated chicken.. .japchae, bulgogi, sushi, ddeokboki… Any of those.”
I looked up at Lee JiHan hopefully. He took the notebook out of my hand.
“What is this?” Lee JiHan asked after reading the contents of the notebook. “Is it a list of what you want to eat today?”
“No, it’s a list of what I want to do with you today,” I replied
“I want to eat the sweet and sour pork you make for me. I want to eat the marinated chicken you make me. I want to eat the japchae you make me…”
He read the list out loud and stopped looking at me incredulously. “How is this a list of things you want to do with me? This is just a list of menu items.”
“No, I was just thinking about what I wanted to do with you, and I just became curious about all the dishes you haven’t made for me yet,” I said. “And, I wanted to try them…”
“All right.”
“What?” I blinked surprisedly at Lee JiHan’s voice.
“Did you know this is the first time you asked me to do anything for you?” he asked.
“Oh, really…” I mumbled under my breath.
“That’s why I was so surprised when you asked me to make sweet and sour pork for you. It’s like you’ve changed,” Lee JiHan said with a pleased smile. He lowered his face and gave me a peck on the lips. “I like this change.”
He looked back at my notebook. After browsing the list, he said. “I can make all this for you today, but can you eat it all?”
“Oh, I don’t think so,” I said. “You can just choose one.”
“Just one. No way. I’m going to make all 12 in here in small portions,” he said.
“Wow, really?! I didn’t expect anything like that!”
“If you were going to ask for something, you should have put in shark’s fin or bear feet or something rare like that,” Lee JiHan breezily said. “Did you really think I couldn’t make you these simple things?”
Forgetting all about my body aches, my shoulders danced up and down as I shook my teddy bear excitedly.
***
I woke up from my nap when I heard Lee JiHan call for me. Still half asleep, he pulled me into the kitchen. When I sat down across from him, the table was filled with all the dishes I had requested in bite size portions.
“Oh, wow! This is like a king’s table,” I said. “I feel like a King SeJong, JoongJong, MoonJong. I’m not AhJung, I’m AhJong!”
Lee JiHan laughed at my silly remark. I smiled at his laugh and put the pork in my mouth. The sweet and sour sauce with the crispy exterior batter, the thick juicy pork inside exploded with its juices as I bit into it. I burst out into Chinese, “Wow! Ni Chi Fan Le ma!”
There was nothing left to say. My mouth was so busy eating that there wasn’t any time to speak. I emptied all 12 plates and patted my stomach happily.
I won’t be able to enjoy the food Lee JiHan makes me every day anymore. But having eaten 12 of his dishes, I’ll be content with just remember this day. I’ll be content even if I was starving.
I leaned back in my chair happily when Lee JiHan spoke.
“The play, ‘I’m Against This Wedding.’ We OK’d the synopsis, so writer Noh will start creating the script,” Lee JiHan said
“Oh, really?”
“When the first draft is finished, he will send it to us,” he said.
A play written for me. I nodded still unable to believe it.
“Now that we’ve finished eating, let’s get up and go out for a date,” Lee JiHan said while standing up.
“No. I don’t want to go out today.”
Lee JiHan looked at me confused at my refusal. “You’re going to stay at home instead of going out on a date?”
“No. I want to have the date at home,” I replied.
Lee JiHan’s expression looked even more confused.
“Not outside but at home. The date. I want to stay at home today,” I added with a smile.
The 12 things I listed had appeared at the table and been cleared out in one shot, so I’d have to think about that a bit more. Whatever we did, I knew that I would enjoy it all.
“Na AhJung, aren’t you sore?” he asked.
I cocked my head at the unexpected question.
“What? Sore? Yes of course, it’s pretty severe. Why?”
“Feeling that way after working out that much is natural,” Lee JiHan said. “I should be the one to help relax your muscles. So, I’ve made an appointment at a massage parlor. You don’t want to go?”
“Massage?”
“It’s a full course, so it’s going to take about two hours,” he said. “Then, I was planning to grab dinner and come back home.”
At the mention of massage, I was tempted But, I also didn’t want to lose the hours I could be spending at this house on my last day. After a lot of back and forth, I shook my head.
“Uh, we can’t. We can do all that tomorrow, so, today, let’s just play at home,” I said
“We can do that tomorrow?” Lee JiHan frowned suspecting something was off. “And, playing at home is not something we can do tomorrow?”
I nodded at his exact observation. It was a topic we had to discuss later anyway.
“I’m going to leave after tonight,” I said.
“What are you talking about all of a sudden?” Lee JiHan asked.
“JiKyung knows about us now, so me staying here will look weird to him,” I replied.
“It’s not weird,” Lee JiHan said curtly.
“That’s what you think,” I said.
“My brother thinks so too,” he retorted.
“What?”
“My brother already agreed to let you stay here,” Lee JiHan said.
“When?”
“In the morning, while you were sleeping. I knelt in front of my brother and got his approval,” Lee JiHan said without a change in expression.
I thought I had heard wrong. With that temper… He did what? He what?
“What? You kneeled?”
He looked me straight in the eyes as he replied, “You said you want to live as yourself for the first time in your life, and you think I can’t do that for you?”
“But, you told me to never kneel in front of anyone, that we didn’t need your brother’s approval…”
“I didn’t need my brother’s approval, but it looked like you did,” he said. “You needed that to be happy. So, I knelt once.”
“So, the reason JiKyung approved of us is because you kneeled?” I asked.
“My brother said that after he heard your confession, and after all it is with me, he had to approve,” he said. “I just sealed the deal with the whole kneeling bit.”
Lee JiHan kneeled. I blinked unable to believe it.
“So, my brother approved of us dating and of you staying here. He doesn’t think it’s weird. He’s actually the one that suggested I take good care of you here because he was worried about you returning back to your stepmother’s place.” Lee JiHan smiled reassuringly. “Oh, and…”
My mind was all scrambled, but I came back to my senses. I can’t just let this slide! Even if JiKyung approved of this, I can’t!
“Still, this is not right. JiKyung might be OK with it, but my father and stepmother will think staying at the brother-in-law’s house after breaking off the wedding is inappropriate,” I said.
“Does the person who cleanly broke off the wedding and found a new love have to be at the end of the judging by someone who messily divorced and found a new love?” Lee JiHan pointed out.
Messy divorce after marriage… That’s right. My father did that. Even before the divorce, he was living in two households and bugging my mother for not divorcing him. Now that I think about it, he was right. Why do I care what he thinks?
I nodded emotionally. “You’re right. I don’t know about other people, but I don’t think I deserve criticism from my father and stepmother.”
“So, don’t worry about them,” Lee JiHan said. “Just let them know the wedding is off and you can continue living here.”
Can…Can I do that? Can I… Hearing it that, I don’t think it matters what other people think… No, but aren’t we the issue if we live together? Something is bound to happen between two people who love each other and live in the same house…
My head filled with these thoughts. I swallowed dryly.
Lee JiHan took my hand in his. “Na AhJung. I have to go back to America in a month.”
“What?”
“I start school in a month, so I will have to stay there,” he said.
I just realized that Lee JiHan was studying abroad and was only here until school resumed. My heart dropped upon this realization.
Lee JiHan, still holding my hand, said, “I want to spend the most time I can with you until I have to leave. So, I want to live together with you and be with you night and day. Can’t we?”
There’s only a month left…
I nodded no longer having anything to argue against. I didn’t want to lose a day or a minute of the one month I had left with him.