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It was a day filled with firsts. Getting married, riding an airplane, spending a night in the sky…
Still unable to believe this new experience, I plastered my forehead on the plane window and looked out at the night sky. I was floating in the sky and was a part of it.
It all felt like a dream. I finally pried myself away from the window and turned my head. The most unbelievable thing I’ve ever experienced caught my eye. It was none other than Lee JiHan.
He was sitting next to me with his arms crossed and eyes closed, not moving an inch. Watching him in light of the darkened sky, Lee JiHan’s hair seemed to sparkle like a golden star in the night sky.
This man is my husband…
This was the most incredible thing. Unable to believe it, I reached out my hand and slightly grazed it across Lee JiHan’s cheek.
The moment my fingers touched him, he opened his eyes. “What are you doing not sleeping?”
“Oh, weren’t you asleep?” I asked in surprise, removing my hands from him.
Lee JiHan turned his head and looked into my eyes. Unlike his hardened voice, his eyes were soft. “I wasn’t asleep. I was just thinking with my eyes closed.”
“Thinking? Thinking of what?” I asked.
“I was going through a preliminary practice in my head,” he replied.
“Of what?” I asked.
“I’ll let you know at the hotel tomorrow. So, my AhJung should sleep some more in the plane,” Lee JiHan insisted as he gave me a peck on the cheek. “With a tired AhJung, I can’t do the things I am imagining in my preliminary practice round.”
My eyes flashed open at his hinting. Is he thinking about what I think he’s thinking about?
“I, I’ll sleep! Right now! I’m going to sleep until we land!”
I pulled the blanket that was resting on my knees up to my neck with the determination to sleep until the second before it was to happen. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to sleep.
Drawing the night sky filled with stars in my head, I counted. One star, two stars…
***
After 12 hours on the plane, we arrived in Las Vegas. Even though I had stepped foot for the first time on foreign soil, I had lost all excitement regarding it.
Who cares about foreign soil? I’m about to step foot on Lee JiHan’s first December snow. I wouldn’t care if I just stepped onto alien soil right now.
The rising expectation made it impossible to look at anything. The entire time we were heading to the hotel, there wasn’t a single thing that caught my attention from outside the car window.
I was able to gather that the city was extremely big and flamboyant. What does that matter? Why are there so many cars? As I watched the sun setting, I imagined myself running out of the car to the hotel about a million times.
Lee JiHan, on the other hand, sat without a word, drinking water with a frozen expression. He looked like a nervous athlete before a big game.
When we arrived at the hotel, the sun had already set. Normally, he would have shown me around the hotel or told me why he chose this place. Without a single word, he grabbed my hand and walked hastily to the lobby.
Yes, I can find out about all those things tomorrow. No, I really don’t need to know any of that stuff forever.
Practically running, I power walked next to Lee JiHan toward the lobby. When we arrived at the door of our room, he hurriedly unlocked it. I was trying to catch my breath when his lips locked on me as the door swung open.
Lee JiHan’s lips were so hot that it forced me to close my eyes, but I didn’t back away. At the same time, he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up. Instinctively, I hugged his shoulder and wrapped my legs around his waist.
I kissed him passionately floating in the air until I felt my butt touch the top of the bed. My waist and back slowly slid on top of it. The last thing that would have fallen onto the bed, which was my head, did not make contact. Instead, it fell into Lee JiHan’s palm as he embraced it. I inhaled his steamy breath as I shared mine with him.
Lee JiHan lifted my dress with one hand from my thigh to above my waist. His hand crept upward until it was just below my breast. He stopped kissing me and removed his lips slightly from mine. I opened my eyes and saw him staring down at me. His breathtakingly handsome face filled my sight.
Usually most people look quite ugly at this angle. There is never a single moment this man doesn’t look gorgeous, is there…
As I watched him entranced, Lee JiHan looked me in the eyes as he said, “Lift your arms straight over your head.”
As I lifted my arms up, the hand that had stopped at my waist started to move again. Still holding the ends of my dress, his hands traveled quickly toward my breast. Consequently, the dress swept across my stomach, tickling me.
When Lee JiHan’s hand touched my breast, his other hand, which was behind my head, started to move. He lifted my head slightly and removed my dress.
“Uh? Are we starting like this? Without washing up?” I asked with surprise, thinking back to his compulsiveness for cleanliness.
He frowned as he asked me in return, “Do you really want to wash up now?”
“Ah, no! Of course not!” I really didn’t.
“Me neither. That’s not important right now,” he answered with his eyes ablaze.
It was as if his lust had erased his OCD. Looking at me lying there in just my underwear, he started to unbutton his shirt. I watched in amazement at his fast moving fingers. Upon realizing something, I started to move my fingers also.
As I unhooked my bra, Lee JiHan gave up on unbuttoning his shirt and just ripped the entire thing off. The remaining couple buttons flew off and dropped to the floor. He didn’t pay it much attention and threw his shirt off.
I had been removing the straps off my shoulder when I froze in awe at the scene in front of me. If was the second time I’ve seen it, but Lee JiHan’s abs had grown more refined since then.
Ah… Ah… Ah…
Even as the sight in front of me made my mind a blur, I felt Lee JiHan slip off my strap and the last bit of fabric on the lower half of my body. He quickly took off the rest of his clothes. Seeing a part of his body I had never seen before, I gasped.
“Uh, wait! Wait! Stop!” I pushed away Lee JiHan’s approaching chest.
He stopped his motion and asked. “What is it?”
“It’s, how could…” I was suddenly scared that I shook my head vigorously. “Ah, I can’t do it! I can’t!”
I turned my body away and tried to escape from the bed. Lee JiHan grabbed my shoulder and laid me back down. He wouldn’t continue without my permission would he? I looked him in the eyes but saw that he was smiling down at me as if this was adorable.
“I knew you would do this. There’s no way this scaredy cat girl would not give up in the middle. I thought it was strange you even went this far,” Lee JiHan said in a breezy tone.
“Oh, if you knew then you shouldn’t have started… Why did you make me follow you all the way here? If you knew I was going to surrender, this just makes me embarrassed…”
Like a fish caught in a net, I thrashed around in Lee JiHan’s arms.
His expression changed to that of disappointment. “Do you still not know how I am?”
“What?” I stopped thrashing wondering what he meant.
He lowered his body and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. With his chest on mine, he whispered in my ear, “The reason I started even though I knew you would surrender was because I was confident I could make you change your mind.”
“I, I’m not confident though?” I asked.
“My AhJung is afraid it will hurt, so you’ve lost your confidence,” he said.
It was the truth I had been thinking. I nodded in agreement.
“I’m confident I can continue without hurting you, so trust me and let’s keep going,” Lee JiHan said.
This statement also felt like the truth. My heart wanted to trust him even without any reason to do so.
He lifted his head and faced me. As if engraving the trust into my head, he continued in a serious voice.
“For 28 years, I’ve left myself in the state of December’s first snow. Today is the day my wife will first step foot on it. To make sure you will get there safely and without getting hurt, I have prepared for everything.” Lee JiHan explained all this in a sincere tone. He observed my eyes as if waiting for my permission. “But even so, if at some point it does hurt, you can just tell me. If my AhJung says it hurts even a little, I will stop immediately.”
“You’re really going to stop if I say it hurts?” I asked.
“Was there ever a time I didn’t keep my promise?” he replied.
At Lee JiHan’s answer, I no longer had anything to worry about. This man had never broken a promise. He protected his December’s first snow for 28 years, so what could he possibly not be able to protect?
“Then let’s do it. Let’s try. Without it hurting me,” I said.
I’ll just have to see how non painful he can make it. I clenched my fists bravely.
The moment I granted him permission, Lee JiHan smiled brightly. As if trying to make his smile contagious, he smothered those lips on top of mine.
His next movements were careful and heartfelt. Until my fists unclenched and the anxiety from my body left me, Lee JiHan softly touched me to make me melt.
Even though it felt like I was in a scary abandoned building where something was bound to jump out at me, I put my trust in him and slowly opened the door to the unknown so that he could arrive at the place where nothing had ever touched it before.
***
When I woke up and opened my eyes, the first sight I saw was Lee JiHan’s face. We must have not moved because we were in the same position as when we fell asleep. Both of us were facing each other as the morning sun hit us.
Lee JiHan wore a serene expression. It was as if he was having the sweetest dream. I swept my fingers across his face. Ah… My husband.
I couldn’t believe the face yesterday, but it finally felt like a reality. At the same time, it made me feel secure. I had felt like I had been wandering and finally arrived home. The comforting thought made sleep wash over me.
As my eyes grew heavy, I snuggled up close to my husband. That very moment, my happy dream started to unfold.