Published at 12th of August 2024 6:22 am

Chapter 1163: Anthony On Tour pt 15

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It doesn’t take that long for my new guards to arrive, although Barker and his apprentice Fluffles also stick around.

I mean FLUFFLES? It’s offensive to mention she has a rabbit nose, but that’s a totally fine name to have, apparently.

Whatever. The cultural idiosyncrasies of the Folk don’t need to make sense to me; they can, and do, call themselves whatever they want. I’m just here to check out the place and sell some end tables.

My new guard is, I’m pretty sure, a turtle guy named Phil, though of course I don’t mention his SHELL, no matter how much I want to. Like, does he have a wax routine for that thing? I’m only wondering because it has such a healthy sheen and I’ll be darned if I don’t want my carapace to look like that.

With him comes his apprentice, Pete, who is also a turtle, but doesn’t have a shell, but does have a sort of turtle face, with the beaked mouth and all that. These people make no sense to me.

It seems clear immediately that they’ve sent some more powerful warriors. There’s a certain aura around them that lets me know they mean business. I’m not willing to be rude about their appearance, but there are other things I’m willing to be rude about.

[So, are you a blademaster?] I ask as soon as introductions are done.

[You want to fight and find out?] he replies.

This guy is clearly pretty old, judging by the long silver beard and moustache he’s sporting, but his mental voice is still gravelly and vigorous. He sounds like he’d give Granin a run for his money in a rock chewing contest.

[Not really,] I reply, and I swear he slumps a little in disappointment. [I just had a fight, so I thought I’d relax for a second, get a little private time.]

Although I couldn’t move on the ship, I was the centre of attention pretty much all the time. People gawping at me from the other ships, ants checking if I was still alright, birds threatening to drop bombs on me. It got stressful.

Also, it’s been too long since I was embraced by sweet, sweet, dirt. Phil looks around, confused.

[You’ve got twenty ants inside five metres of you. How is that ‘private time’?]

He says something to Barker, who whips out his sword, looking a little confused.

[Whoa, whoa. Those are my bodyguards and they do a pretty good job staying out of sight. I can’t get rid of them even if I want to.]

“Protectant.”

Stubborn, resentful silence.

“Protectant”

“We had to stay on that ship too,” she says, not revealing herself. “It was awful.”

“Hey, the ship sucks, I’m on your team. What also sucks is getting chopped up by turtle-Folk, so you need to reveal yourself so I can explain who and what you are.”

She waits until I’m just about to admonish her again to drop her forget-me-field or whatever, appearing in front of the four Folk.

[This here is Protectant. She’s one of the twenty guards who are with me around the clock. Don’t worry, we included their numbers in our allowed thousand ants.]

Phil and Pete don’t react, but Barker and Fluffles do, seemingly quite annoyed.

[Why didn’t you tell us about them?] Barker demands after connecting to me via mind-bridge.

[Why would I?] I reply. [They aren’t doing anything other than being hard to spot. Besides, they are included in the manifest that lists the key members of this voyage. Is it my fault you didn’t read it carefully?]

I get the feeling the Folk have a ‘go with the flow’ kind of approach to just about everything except fighting. That appears to include admin. There isn’t much they can say to what I’ve said, so I take the chance to ease my way into the large cavern space that the Colony has opened up for me.

[I’m going to take a nap, then I’ll think about having some more fights. Although I do have to warn you, Phil. If you aren’t significantly stronger than Barker over there, you might find yourself considerably overmatched.]

The turtle-Folk narrows his eyes as his hand plays across the hilt of his curved blade.

[I think you’ll find I’m more than up to the task.]

I miss the blessed relaxation of Ant zen. The dirt in my mandibles, the flowing tunnel air, my siblings by my side. Getting a proper rest on the boat was absolutely impossible, not that I physically needed one. After a brief snooze surrounded by dirt, I feel a hundred times better.

I emerge, stretching my antennae and clacking my mandibles happily. This is the life! Exploring, adventuring, and not having to worry about getting toxified by a race of evil slug-people. Good times!

There’s another surprise waiting for me when I emerge.

[Grey! White! Nice to see you again!]

The pair of Folk, one wolfish, one weaselish appear largely unchanged since the last time I saw them, still furry and/or muzzled, with that strange air of dignity about them.

[Anthony, it’s a surprise to see you again in these circumstances,] Grey rumbles. [I didn’t think the Colony would come into contact with my people for years yet.]

[Hah. We aren’t lazy like most people on Pangera. Surely you aren’t that surprised. I mean, I bet we were more surprised the first time we met you. Remember? You were all nak]

[I don’t think there’s any need to go into detail about that,] Grey breaks in hastily, his voice going up several octaves.

To the side, White covers her face as her shoulders shake with laughter.

[You sure? I reeeeeeaaaally wanted to tell everyone about it when I got here. Apparently, blademasters are quite the respected individuals around Freehill. You are a blademaster, aren’t you?]

Grey sighs, defeated.

[What do you want, Anthony?]

[Tour around town and help managing fights.]

Grey looks around.

[You only just arrived, how many people want to fight you already?]

I connect to Phil and Pete as well.

[Who wants a fight today?] I ask.

Both turtle-Folk put their hands up. As does White.

[I’ve got three lined up and I rolled out of the nest about one minute ago. What can I say? Big bad monsters are pretty popular in this town, Grey.]

[Not quite in the way you’re thinking,] he says, [but fine. Let’s start with the fights, then we can move on to the tour. I didn’t have anything planned for today anyway.]

[You’re being sarcastic, aren’t you?]

[Of course I am. Let’s get moving.]

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