Published at 19th of January 2021 1:36 am

Chapter 689 Don’t you want to go back?

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“It’s not possible…”

Chu Yunsheng’s body trembled slightly and fell into a huge shock. His eyelids twitched violently in the fierce questioning of the old nan No. 1, like a sleeper who was about to wake up at any time. He suddenly realized that he had never really considered this question before.

Others may not know the characteristics of black gas, but he knew it well. As long as the emitted black gas did not completely dissipate, it would definitely return to his consciousness. This had been proved by countless battles.

Although he didn’t know what it was, it had always been closely related to consciousness. Moreover, consciousness could not have a clone; it only existed in the zero-dimensional space, and it should be unique at any time. When he transformed between a human and an insect, he was either in a human body or an insect’s body. It was impossible for both to exist at the same time.

But then why did it want to return the spear? Why did he think it was too late at that time? Why did he feel that the sound the arrow made was mournful?

He seemed to see the last moment before his world became completely dark again.

In an instant, Chu Yunsheng’s soul trembled, and his face became extremely pale.

‘Am I really dead? The dying consciousness really attached to the spear!? There is no other explanation besides this? But why did it become like this!?’

‘No! It’s not possible!’

‘I’m still alive, and my memory is still continuing, how can I imagine such a huge and detailed world?’

‘This is impossible. No dream can be this real and clear. No.1 must be lying to me. Pre-Cambrian Beings are the creators of the Pseudo-Monolith. No.1 must have some way to manipulate the Pseudo-Monolith.’

‘It must be so. I shouldn’t believe it. I have reasons to refute it and ignore it. No matter what it says, I shouldn’t believe it!’

‘I need to believe in myself!’

Chu Yunsheng kept building confidence in himself, and then frantically looked for the perfect answer to solve the question of the black gas returning to the spear, but he couldn’t find anything for a while. In a hurry, he instinctively said: “You are lying to me! This is the world inside the Pseudo-Monolith, everything is the simulation of the Pseudo-Monolith, including you!”

Old man No.1 smiled bitterly, then sat down disappointedly and said, “Are you still unwilling to believe it? You are so stubborn! You are still persisting in something that is not real! Perhaps I really cannot understand human feelings.

The whole thing about the Pseudo-Monolith is just your own imagination. I have never said anything about Pseudo-Monolith to you before. If you calm down and think about the conversation we had in the Arctic base. I’ve only told you the discovery of a Monolith on earth, and the explosive development of technology of the Pre-Cambrian civilization. Even until the discovery of the secret of immortality, it was only merely a few thousands of years. Then disasters and wars broke out. So you tell me, how did they have time to establish what you call Pseudo-Monolith?

Furthermore, Monolith has always been on earth. You have seen it with your own eyes. It disappeared after the great darkness. In the world you imagined, the reason why the fifth heaven’s messenger Tan Ning would tell you something about the construction of the Pseudo-Monolith was because of that incident. Because this is exactly a reflection of your subconscious mind in the world of your imagination to the real event that the black Monolith flew away.”

Chu Yunsheng insisted on not believing it, and said coldly, “Nonsense! Why do I need to create a Pseudo-Monolith? Besides, it is baseless. How did I even make it?”

Old man No. 1 looked at Chu Yunsheng and said quietly, “Is it really? It is just a desperate attempt by you to pin all your hopes on the most mysterious things in extreme despair.

How big of an impact that the black Monolith in Jin Ling City had on your mind? I think you know better than me! So you want to deny it? Although I don’t know exactly what you saw in the black Monolith, I knew you saw something after touching it. It is a shame that it is your closed inner world, so I cannot enter it. But I am still able to figure out something through this imaginary world of yours because only it is open to me.

That black Monolith must have given you a feeling of traveling through time and space or some similar experiences. In short, it gave you the idea to create a Pseudo-Monolith. And then through Tan Ning’s mouth, you give it the ability that you wanted it to have – Simulating the whole world from your memory! And relive it again!

In order to be realistic, you even make Tan Ning tell you that you might get lost inside it or commit suicide!”

Chu Yunsheng’s brows twitched and snorted coldly: “In your eyes, everything is just my imagination! Is there any evidence of that!?”

Old man No. 1 sighed and shook his head, looking at Chu Yunsheng pityingly, and said, “All the evidence, you have clearly seen them already but chosen to ignore them. What you need now is not evidence, but reason.

Have you ever thought that even if you don’t want to think about why the arrow of destruction returned to the spear instead of your body, have you ever thought about why the information about Pseudo-Monolith appeared so suddenly? What was even more coincidental was that the Pseudo-Monolith was still working, and it just happened that it only had one slot? And Tan Ning knew how to operate it?… Don’t you think that there are too many coincidences there? How can there be so many coincidences? And it just happened that it was everything that you wanted to happen?”

Chu Yunsheng’s heart was beating abruptly. He tried to convince himself not to believe in No.1, but it seemed that another voice kept asking himself, “Yes, why were there so many coincidences? Have you ever had such luck before?”

Was the Pseudo-Monolith really just an imagination? Was it really just an idea inspired by the magical ability of the time travel experienced that he had inside the real black monolith?

However, there was one thing that old man No.1 said was wrong. Chu Yunsheng was actually a rational person. He would not ignore the fact. When he realized that he really couldn’t find any reason to explain why the black gas returned to the spear, he knew that it was impossible for him to enter the Pseudo-Monolith. Think about it, could he even talk to Tan Ning when he was in the spear, and how could he enter the Pseudo-Monolith if he was a spear?

At this moment, Chu Yunsheng’s belief was shaken. His gaze flew past the holographic image of Old Man No. 1 in confusion. He looked out the window, full of sadness.

After a while, he said very flatly: “You say you can see everything that I imagined? Is there anything you can’t see? Do you know what I did in Nanjing and what I saw? Do you know the world of that blue-haired girl?”

When he said these things, although he was asking the question, he didn’t seem to be asking old man No.1, but himself.

Old man No. 1 smiled with relief and said with mixed emotions, “You finally remembered it, and finally realized that it is the opportunity given by your ‘consciousness of wanting to wake up’ that I can appear here and have a chance to talk to you.

I just said that no one can enter your closed inner world except yourself. I can only capture your inner subconscious’ intentions from the world you have imagined.

Fortunately, those who escaped from Nanjing with you are still alive. Perhaps your ‘consciousness of wanting to wake up’ deliberately left those clues behind. Otherwise, with the stubbornness inside your subconscious, you would have already killed them all! Never let them know your secret.

In Nanjing, those floating monsters are actually just your reaction to the “dream”. It is a metaphor for illusory and unreal dreams. Do you remember the scene of the Nuptial flight? In that cruel battlefield, how can there be such a beautiful scene? Everything is a dream that combines reality and your imagination, reflecting your infinite yearning for a normal and happy life in the age of light. But you know that it is already impossible and can only exist in fantasy, so you place such a beautiful scene in such a place full of violence and conflict.

In terms of what else you saw in Nanjing? I don’t know, but I can guess that there must be a place where only you can get in, and others will be blocked by all kinds of restrictions you can imagine. Although I don’t know what the world is like, it must be a lifeless, deadly silent and even corrupt world!”

There was a sorrowful smile at the corner of Chu Yunsheng’s mouth. He was the only one who had been to “The Inner World”, and no one knew about it. Moreover, it had eventually collapsed. Even if No. 1 asked all the surviving Nanjing refugees, he could only know about the world under the rainbow. It was impossible for him to know the existence of The Inner World, let alone knowing that it was a lifeless, deadly silent, and even corrupted world!

Did No.1 guess this? Chu Yunsheng wanted to think so, but he was not a fool and couldn’t convince himself.

However, this was his last defense line. If he lost this defense line, he really didn’t know how to face it. He must persist, even if he needed to persist blindly. He must persist. Because it was his only hope, and his daughter’s only hope!

Old man No. 1 continued sadly: “If I am not wrong, there must be something that can also give you some clues, such as a stationary clock, or monotonous and unreal colors…”

When Chu Yunsheng heard it say this, there was a sudden slashing pain in his heart, but he didn’t know where the pain came from. He just felt that his consciousness was gradually becoming illusory, and suddenly there was a faint feeling of relief. So he said weakly, “You are wrong. There was indeed a clock there, but it was going very slowly… And it was not that lifeless over that. There was one… I guess you can call it a person. But it was probably also a confused and poor person. Like you said, I killed that person…Do you know who it was?”

Old man No.1 was silent for a moment then said: “yourself?”

Chu Yunsheng smiled slightly, his smile was ugly and illusory, but serious. He turned his head to look at it, and said: “There is finally something you don’t know.”

Old man No.1 shook its head and said, “You have misunderstood what I meant. What I meant was that the person you saw was actually yourself. It was devouring the world you made, and you needed to stop it, otherwise, the world you imagined would be destroyed by it. Let me think… In your imagination, it should be regarded as…a character similar to an intruder.”

Chu Yunsheng didn’t know why, he looked at it in despair and said in a low voice, “Why?”

Old man No. 1 said pityingly: “When you came back from Nanjing to see Old Youling, the first thing you asked it was if it was a Descender and if it knew anything about Rainbow Bridge. But you had never asked it those questions before. So isn’t that obvious?

I know your pain, Liu Li’s incident has caused a huge trauma in your mind. You hate that Realm Messenger who descended into her body, and you couldn’t wait to peel a Descender’s skin and eat its flesh. You need an object to vent your anger and also need something to prove that the Pseudo-Monolith was real. For this reason, you didn’t hesitate to give it non-existent functions continuously, trying to mythify it. This is the same as Old Youling’s design, so it cannot explain its own existence.”

‘Is that true? Is the last defense line going to be lost? Then what else can I use to resist? The Dragon Chapters? That was something I saw in the Monolith. It is normal to reflect in this world; cube? If the giant head is not real, can it still be real? But, are there really no other excuses?’

There was another sharp pain in Chu Yunsheng’s heart, and then he smiled dismally, not knowing whether he should be desperate, or helpless, or if he should accept it. But he still didn’t understand, so he still persisted, “I have been working so hard… But in the end, it is just to create a world to deceive myself… What’s the point? What’s the point!”

He almost shouted in the end. ..

Old man No.1 looked at him with deep sympathy in its eyes. After a long time, it said,

“To be honest, Chu, I admire you very much, not because of your reputation as the most powerful man in the world, or your future status as a Crown Prince of God’ Kingdom, but your actions after your death that shocked me and moved me. Except for the eyes of the poor mother and son, two pre-Cambrian beings that night, no one has ever given me such a feeling before, and no one has ever made me feel so moved this much.

You know that after you die, your daughter will also die, so you cannot accept this fact, but what can you do? You are dead, and you can no longer protect her. You are in despair, and this despair turned your last consciousness into a persistent resentment!

You refuse to admit that you are dead because you have no other way. So he can only torture yourself, imagine that you are alive, repeatedly lie to yourself, and make yourself think you are still trying to save her…

Actually, some of your ideas are very funny and childish, but very creative.

Finding the fifth pendant so that you can go to the moon to get the real Wood Elemental Core to save your daughter? I mean how did you even come up with something like this?

But even with such an idea, since you woke up in the world you imagined, you deliberately let me find you, so I could send someone to kill you. Then, you created someone who was a friend of your ancestor and let him tell you that the world will have micro-adjustment, so your memory may not be useful. This gave you a huge pressure. However, you were still not satisfied. You deliberately trapped yourself in Nanjing, and almost got yourself killed there. Then you imagined three insect’s forces and all kinds of monsters to kill you.

To be honest, I thought you were crazy at first, and you were masochistic. It was so ridiculous and sad!

Although these things are the reflection of your real memory in the imaginary world; such as getting the jade pendant was to fulfill your wish when you were still alive; letting me send someone over to kill was because you were worried about my existence, and then there were many other things…

But you didn’t have to make yourself struggle in the imaginary world, or even risk your life.

But when you arrived in this city and fought in the battle that almost killed you, I finally understood it.

Why did you design such a complicated rescue plan? Why did you want to create more and more powerful enemies? Why do you want to make me so powerful?

I understood it all of them instantly.

Because you don’t want to get that fifth jade pendant at all! You need people to stop you, and you need stronger opponents to destroy you!

Because you know you can’t get the fifth jade medal. This is just the world you imagined, and you don’t know where it is.

Because you know that even if you get it and find the treasure of the senior practitioner, you are still dead, and you will still not be able to go back and save her!

So, you can’t get it! Therefore, you let your enemy’s strength rise rapidly so they can kill you and stop you!

You pretended to try your best to find the jade pendants while using various means to prevent yourself from finding the jade pendants!

You are only willing to repeat this world endlessly and deceive yourself over and over again that you are still working hard, and you are still fighting for hope!

Chu, do you even remember how many times this world has been repeated because of your pathetic persistence?

Originally, I didn’t want to tell you this, but I really can’t help it. When do you want to stop? When will you accept the truth?”

Tears had already streaked down from Chu Yunsheng’s cheeks, and after a while, there was a long sigh…

Seeing that Chu Yunsheng finally seemed to want to accept it, old man No.1 said, “Chu, I only want to ask you one thing! Don’t you want to end this and return to the original world?”

……

Merry Xmas, you can find the group discord channel on the cover page, and if you want to discuss the story, or have any questions regarding the story, you are welcome to join the discord and ask there.

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