Published at 6th of March 2026 6:35 am

Chapter 13 - Contemplating Deicide

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Rorschach, Tuesday, and Isaiah set off immediately. The mood was serious, all three of them focused on doing whatever it takes to get what Miles needs. They understand that we're racing against the clock without knowing how much time is left. That leaves Vivienne and me alone in the meeting room in the Super Secret Base. There's a question written on her face, one that she isn't comfortable asking me. What's on your mind, Vivienne? What has you so troubled?

“You seem like you've got a question in your brain fighting to escape. Is everything okay?” I asked, removing my helmet.

Vivienne reclines back and stares at the ceiling. She stretches out her powerfully muscular arms and cracks her knuckles. She's been upping her training as of late, working even harder to refine her unique brand of violence. This is the level of dedication that will allow me to take over the city. Pulling the hair elastic off, she lets her crimson hair cascade over her face, preventing me from seeing her expression. She leans onto the table with her head resting in her hands; it's almost like she's going to start crying.

“If I tell you, can you promise not to fucking psychoanalyze me?” She asked softly. “I just want to talk to you without you reading into micro expressions or subconscious facial tics. I want you to be honest regardless of how you think I feel.”

Oh. She noticed all that? I probably shouldn't deny it.

“Okay, I won't. I'm just listening,” I responded sincerely.

“Thank you. I guess I'm struggling with understanding what happened today. Like I know what happened; I saw the news, I’ve read the reports. The death toll is so high; I can't even picture what that many people would even look like together. I'm not a stranger to death or killing; I’d already seen my fair share of dead bodies before I met you. But this is more than I can comprehend. All those people were wiped away without knowing what killed them. That could've been me, or you, or Anika, and there's nothing I could've done to stop it. I might be able to tank a nuke in my Shifter form, but what if I can’t? What if I didn't have the time to transform? One second I’m here, and the next I’m gone without a fight. It's sad and terrifying in a way I can't explain. Obviously, I know this isn't the type of thing that usually happens, but it's scary; if that makes any sense,” Vivienne explained.

She's genuinely shaken up by all of this. It's a stark reminder of the emotional and mental gap between me and the rest of the world. Normal people would be disturbed if this happened in their city. Normal people would fear for their lives. Normal people would be worried for their friends and family. Well, shit. Daniel is likely calling my phone nonstop to see if I'm okay. My civilian phone is back at my apartment. I don't bring it with me if I'm planning on being Nobody. I'll have to check in with him later. Normalcy won’t stop attacking me. Vivienne's reaction is the normal one, the human one. I've been looking at the attack as the natural progression of escalation in an ongoing tension. The difference between the murder of one person versus fifty thousand in my mind was purely scale. You have to break a few eggs to make an omelette; you'd have to break tens of thousands to make an omelette the size of a house.

She’s dealing with shock. I feel that all too familiar pain in my chest start up as I look across the table at V. Instead of a desire to make her feel better, I feel nothing at all. And that's what makes me sad, because I remember how it used to feel. Is this how amnesiacs feel when they have a partner or family they don't remember? Everything I do to help Vivienne, to console her, to protect her, it's in service to a relationship that doesn't exist anymore. I'm doing all of it as a favor to a previous version of me that is likely gone forever. What an odd feeling it is to mourn myself. Powering through the painful grip that the past has on me, I start tackling the problem in front of me.

“It must be very scary for you to face the threat of death for the first time since you triggered. You've probably never faced anything stronger than you, met any problem that couldn’t be punched, saw an attack you might not survive. Look, I get it, it's terrifying to face your own mortality after not thinking of it for years. But, V, for the rest of us, this is what every day is like. Every single time I put on the helmet, I'm accepting the possibility that I won't make it back alive,” I said.

“How do you deal with it?” She asked me.

“I can't speak for other people, but the alternative is that I hide away in my apartment, protected from the uncertainty, and I can't do that. I'd rather die than give up being Nobody. I have too much I have to do, so much I want to do. I can't let the chance that I might die prevent me from living. It's okay to be scared of the unknown, but don't let it control you.”

Vivinene doesn't say anything, and with her face hidden behind her hair, I can't tell if my words worked on her. At what point did you realize what I was doing? How long have you known that I was watching everyone? And why did you choose today to start addressing it? We sit in silence as she digests my words, and I fail to get even a glimpse into her psyche.

“It's just so much death caused by a single deranged Cowl. The law considers us to be the same as him. Cowl, Cape, Vigilante, all of it is too encompassing. I know we aren't the good guys, but fuck, the Olympians are vile and evil on another level,” she said after several minutes.

“You know my opinions on violence; without purpose or meaning, it is senseless. V, we're not like them. You're right about us not being the good guys, but morality is a spectrum, and we're far removed from them. It’s about intent and impact. They have no long-term goals beyond causing chaos. Both our groups being comprised of Cowls doesn’t mean we’re similar. Capes can be evil, vicious shits, just like Cowls can be noble or honorable. None of us would ever do something like setting off that bomb,” I promised.

I guess it would depend on the circumstances. Is there any reason I would slaughter fifty-thousand people? It just seems so wasteful. That's far too many people who could have the possibility of triggering and giving me emotions and personality pieces. Would I nuke a city to kill Technologica? Maybe, but it's something that can't be taken back. The Olympians have guaranteed that the country is watching Quinstin with bated breath. The Heroes' Union has to be mustering a response. The news announced the deaths of Bloom and KnickKnack; the Union can't just let them be. The mayor has yet to make a statement, but it has to be coming. And I have a feeling that the statement will come with BNA soldiers attached to it. The bombing is the type of event that can guarantee a re-election for the next decade.

“What are you going to do if Miles dies?” V suddenly asked.

“Wh-what?”

“If the others can't find something to save him, if his condition worsens and can't hold it back anymore, if he dies, what are you, what are we going to do? We've never lost anyone before. I mean, none of us have ever been truly hurt besides you when Glow Guardian blasted that hole in you. All of us scrambled into action when that happened,” Vivienne said.

She's stopped burying her head in her hands. Her eyes are lightly glistening, reflecting the light in the room. The verge of tears, but not quite there. She's deathly serious, the intensity in her gaze indicating that this is a pivotal moment in our relationship. This is more important to her than I thought. She wants to know if I'd go to the lengths that they would for me. I obviously don't share the same feelings for all of them that they do for me, but I'm not the heartless monster that Kai thinks I am. I'm probably somewhere right in the middle. The six of them don't hold a place in my heart, but no one does. At the end of the day, they are my minions to order, my pawns to place, my tools to wield as I see fit. Even without considering whether Miles dies or not, Ares attacked one of mine; it doesn’t matter if he knew it or not. And no one attacks one of Nobody's and gets away with it.

“Ares, along with the other false gods are on my list, but this has moved them to the top. Regardless of whether he improves or not, they will pay for this in blood. No matter how long it takes, we'll storm Mount Olympus and commit deicide. I don't care if it's selfish or hypocritical to react this way to one of us getting hurt when we've done worse to so many others and plan to do more,” I stated, matching her intense stare with one of my own.

She leans back into her chair as the tension and worry she's been holding leave her body. Her shoulders lower, and she brushes her hair out of her face. She's relieved, rocking a crooked, relaxed smile.

“Fuck yeah, Nobody. Let's kill some Gods. Apollo is near the top of my list of Neuvohumans I want to fight. We can crush his crew on our way to kick his shit in. We’re not going to let them get away with hurting Miles. After I beat the crap out of them, you can take their powers away, make them the thing they hate so much: human,” V said icily.

“I have to hand it to you, that's a devious plan. Quite the poetic ending for them,” I said, pausing. “V, if you ever need to talk about this, or anything, I'm here for you.”

“Thanks, dude. Same goes for you. By the way, I've been meaning to ask you how you're doing after what happened on Friendsgiving. I know that you're much better at handling your feelings, but are you good?”

That's right. I need to act the part of someone mourning their friend.

“It hasn't hit me yet that he's gone. It slips from my mind, and then I think of texting him a picture he'd find funny, and remember he won't respond. I don't know how long it'll take for it to set in. And this is the second friend I've lost to Neuvohuman violence this year. Growing up in a small town like New Farford, I wasn't prepared for just how dangerous the world is. It’s really cemented in my brain that the majority of people who have powers do not deserve them. Look at Violet. She was given everything she wanted growing up, and she turned into an entitled bully,” I said.

Running my hands through my hair, I half-close my eyes to look like I'm mentally somewhere else. The difference between seeming distant and appearing pensive is all in the lips. Lightly biting them, while keeping them closed, makes it seem like I'm really lost in my thoughts. Mastering the act of observing others through my peripheral vision was done years ago. Keeping my pupils trained on an item in the background, all while waiting for any changes in someone's face. A flicker of movement confirms what I thought. My words worked.

“I'm sorry for your loss, Nobody. I can't bring him back, but I promise you that when it comes time to spin the block, I got you,” V said.

The sudden slang stuns me.

“Spin the block? Who did you get that from? Isaiah?” I asked.

“Actually, it was Tuesday. She's been saying it for the past few weeks,” Vivienne laughed. “I meant it by the way. I'll crush her for murdering Jean-Luc, for brutalizing Hotpants, and for forcing herself on you.”

“And not at all because she cheated at air hockey?” I jokingly asked.

“I would never hold a grudge against her just because she's a cheating little bitch whose ego is so fragile she can't handle losing to a superior opponent. I'm already the stronger one, so it isn't hard to be the bigger person too.”

I smile at the sassy response, and find that it’s a real one too. Our friendship might be gone, but that doesn't mean that I can't find joy in a moment like this. This is why I need more personality pieces. I need to reclaim what I lost, restore the feelings I had for her. She is meant to be my best friend, my only friend, and Technologica forced me into destroying it. She'll get hers one day. A sudden clap has both of us whip our heads toward the source of the noise. Standing inside my base, inside the meeting room that no one but us has ever seen, is that pinstriped suit-wearing fuck.

“Hey, kiddos. I was in the neighborhood and thought I'd drop by to say hello. Nice evil lair you got going here,” Special Agent Waters remarked as he walks around the room.

Vivienne gives me a look that says, “Are we fighting?” I shake my head. We can't do anything to him.

“Welcome, Special Agent Andrew Waters. Is this purely a social call? Or is your master the one who wants to talk?” I asked.

The grin on his leathery face drops, and I know I’ve struck a nerve. Good. He walks right up to where I’m sitting and puts his hand on my shoulder as everything around us becomes blur. What does Technologica want to talk about? Is this another mission for me? Did she finally discover who Emma really is? I do not enjoy being left in the dark. Whatever she wants from me, I doubt I’ll like what she’s asking of me.

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