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“You’re a gentleman? Then what are we, just nobodies?? Don’t tell me that you don’t lust after the Yu’s pastries, good wines, and Buddha Jumps Over the Wall? What a hypocrite! Xiaofan, when the moment comes, just prepare a cup of plain water for him. He so badly wants to be a gentleman, so let him stay one!” Zang Borui exploded in anger and began to argue vehemently with Liu Hongzhang.
Little Shitou, who was stuck in-between them and feeling quite awkward, helplessly sighed within his heart before he said, “My dear friends, just what sort of hatred do you have between you two that make you fight whenever you see each other as if you’re in a love-hate relationship? Let’s get it all out in the open and decide whether you will both make up or have a clean break. Make it final, alright?”
Zang Borui had a more straightforward personality and frowned, thinking for a long time, before he finally stated with a stupefied expression on his face, “We don’t really have a hateful history between us. But, what the hell is a ‘love-hate relationship’? Xiaofan, can you stop spewing out these weird and bizarre phrases of yours?”
“You dare to claim that the phrases that my second older sister likes to say are weird. You’re done! Be careful. My second sister might add some wasabi into your favorite matcha cake!” Little Shitou had a look in his eyes that said ‘you’re done for’, which made Zang Borui’s heart rate speed up.
“Don’t tell her ha! Your second older sister is truly your second older sister and has a creative turn of mind when it comes to words. She doesn’t stick to the norm and is ingenious in her way in using language to describe the world…” Zang Borui immediately turned pale after hearing this——although he had no idea what ‘wasabi’ was, he could tell from Yu Fan’s expression that it wasn’t something that was very good or tasty.
“Such a lackey!” Liu Hongzhang coldly spat those words out but his eyes hid a smile within them. A love-hate relationship? Just who was in love with this stinky little firecracker? As for hate, that was too intense for him. He only liked to tease him occasionally as he thought that the other fellow’s angry expression and antics, like a snarling little puppy, were quite interesting.
As expected, Zang Borui immediately exploded, “You’re the lackey! Your whole family are lackeys! Hmph! You talk as if you’re so high above but I’ve seen you. Every time Xiaofan takes out his pastries, you always eat your fill! Xiaofan, did you bring any Black Forest Gateau along today? I’m going to reserve them all…”
“Eh? Bear Zang, don’t you hate eating chocolate flavored things the most? Why are you suddenly interested in Black Forest Gateau ah?” Little Shitou looked at him with a flabbergasted expression. He had already become accustomed to the two of them bickering all the time. Perhaps this was the way the two of them just liked to interact with each other? Or perhaps they didn’t need him to mediate their conflicts at all.
Zang Borui slanted a look at Liu Hongzhang and chuckled mischievously, “Only demons would like the oddly bitter-sweet chocolate. However…if I’m able to prevent a certain someone from eating his most favorite Black Forest Gateau, then I will happily eat them down as if I was downing an unpleasant medicine!”
“What a waste of natural resources to allow a cow to munch on peonies!! Childish!!” Liu Hongzhang wasn’t going to be scared by the other youth’s worlds. The truth would come to light at the right moment. When had the fellow surnamed Zang ever won against himself? And he wanted to threaten him?
“What’s wrong with being a bit childish if I can make you furious?” Zang Borui made a funny face and stuck out his tongue at Liu Hongzhang’s backside. One of his other classmates, who was sitting at the side, saw all of this and looked at him with a weird expression. Zang Borui stared at him and aggressively said, “What are you looking at? Have you never seen a fellow as handsome as myself?”
“Are you sick? Did you not take your medicine?” That other classmate wasn’t in their usual circle of friends and they were mere acquaintances. Earlier, when he heard about Little Shitou’s birthday celebration, he crept over silently, “Yu Fan, let me wish you an early happy birthday…would I have the honor of being able to…”
“Huh? Uh! The day before my birthday party, I will hand out invitations.” Right after Little Shitou finished his sentence, a few more familiar faces popped out from nowhere as they all stared at him fervently. They all resembled little wolf cubs salivating over a big meaty bone. Little Shitou felt his head start to hurt. He wasn’t sure whether his second sister had prepared enough tables to handle all of these schoolmates who were cozying up to him. He braced himself and said, “If you all don’t disdain it, when the time comes, you should come along and enjoy the festivities?”
“Not a problem, not a problem!” The nearby students in the Imperial College immediately revealed happy smiles and burst into cheers. There were some who were afraid they had missed their opportunity and hurried up to introduce themselves such that Little Shitou could hear their names. In the span of the time it took him to travel from the entrance gate of the academy to his classroom, he had promised to give out a dozen more invitations.
When he got home, he lamented to his second older sister about what had happened. Yu Xiaocao immediately had the manager of the Medicinal Cuisine House find all of the customers who had reserved a table on the day of his birthday and had them exchange their tables for a free of charge first class medicinal cuisine meal instead. Thus, they managed to take all of the private tables back. Then she had Little Shitou send out invitations to all of his teachers and classmates at the Imperial College.
Naturally, the invitations to the students were only restricted to the thirty or so people who were in the same classroom as him. Although the Imperial College hadn’t reached a thousand enrolled students yet, it still likely had around eight hundred total. The Medicinal Cuisine House would burst open at the seams and still wouldn’t be able to hold that many people. Xiaocao thought about this again and decided to invite the people back to their own residence instead!
The classmates who got the invitations were naturally incredibly gleeful. The students in the other classrooms, on the other hand, were green with jealousy. In the couple of days prior to his birthday celebration, wherever he went, Little Shitou could feel the angry gazes of other people staring at him from the side. He was so frightened that when class was done for the noon meal, he was too afraid to step out of the classroom as he wondered if he’d be stopped by people if he went anywhere else. At the end of school, he also had to be escorted home by his best friends.
On the day of his birthday banquet, his best friends: Zang Borui, Liu Hongzhang, Li Wenfeng, Huang Zixu, and Zhong Lifeng, arrived bright and early at the Yu Residence. They were taking on the honored duty of helping him receive his other schoolmates. However, when they entered the outer courtyard, they were immediately dominated by the imposing and majestic Imperial Prince Xu and they instantly became as docile as a flock of doves.
Once Zhu Junyang greeted the two Zhao Generals and had invited the teachers from the Imperial College into the reception pavilion to have tea, Zang Borui finally quietly came over as if he was frightened to say, “Wow! Xiaofan, you truly have a lot of clout to have Imperial Prince Xu help you greet the guests! You even have the guts to bicker in front of him. If it were me, I’d be so scared that I would have peed my pants by now!”
“Look at your sorry state! The younger brother-in-law has the most power. Don’t you know this fact? If you were Imperial Prince Xu’s younger brother-in-law, he would also give you some grace!” Liu Hongzhang never gave up a chance to diss Zang Borui. Otherwise, he wouldn’t be happy.
Zang Borui slanted him a look and said, “Hypocrite Zhang, speak the truth. In front of Imperial Prince Xu, don’t you also want to pee your pants too?”
“I haven’t done anything shameful, so why would I want to pee my pants?” Liu Hongzhang had to admit that it was hard to not be affected by Imperial Prince Xu’s imposing aura. However, as a guest, he had a proper invitation in hand. Imperial Prince Xu was like the other host here, so what could he do to them? Was there anything for him to be afraid of?
“Little Shitou, how come you’re not inviting your classmates here into the pavilion to sit?” A clear and sweet-sounding voice could be heard from behind them and it resembled the dulcet singing of an oriole. Zang Borui and the other four looked over and saw an elegant, graceful and beautiful young woman smiling at them.
“Second Sister, let me introduce you to them. These are my good friends!” Little Shitou introduced his best friends to Yu Xiaocao one after another and then he spoke to his friends, “This is my second older sister!”
“Hello, Second Older Sister!”
“Thank you, Second Older Sister, for allowing Yu Fan to bring your pastries to us every day!”
“Second Older Sister, you look even younger than Xiaofan!”
“Second Older Sister…”
Little Shitou couldn’t stand the fawning and lackey-like actions of his good friends and hurriedly stopped them, “Just what are you guys doing by calling her ‘older sister’? My second older sister has just turned seventeen and is younger than you all by quite a bit!”
“Although our second older sister is young in age, she has seniority over us all! Based on the relationship between us, your second older sister is naturally my second older sister. Second Older Sister, your matcha cakes and fruit cakes are incredibly delicious. I have never eaten such tasty desserts before in my life! Second Older Sister, your culinary talents are the best in the world!!” Zang Borui was the most lackey-like of them all. He lavished compliment after compliment on her.
Yu Xiaocao would have never expected that her younger brother’s good friends at school could be so amusing. She had thought that the students of the Imperial College were all die-hard bookworms. This youth surnamed Zang was truly too adorable.
“Today, I’ve prepared a wide variety of desserts. If you like anything, please tell the servants to get some. There’s no need to be polite. Little Shitou, treat your schoolmates well as you shouldn’t slight our guests ah!” Yu Xiaocao warned him a few times before finally saying goodbye to the students from the Imperial College. She went back with her Auntie Zhao and godmother into the inner courtyard.
“Wow——Xiaofan, apparently your childhood nickname was Little Shitou ah! So funny!” Zang Borui covered his mouth and grinned so broadly that he resembled a little mouse who had stolen some cheese.
“Is it as funny as the childhood nickname ‘Big and Sturdy’ ah?” Liu Hongzhang interjected before the other youth could react.
“Hypocrite Zhang! Do you want to fight??” Zang Borui immediately snarled back, acting like an angry up little rooster who had its neck and feathers all puffed up. Whenever his childhood nickname, ‘Big and Sturdy’ got mentioned, he felt his head hurt. He had been born prematurely and was quite weak and tiny as a baby, like a delicate little kitten.
His paternal grandmother had believed in the custom that ‘a crude name makes a child easy to raise’, and gave him the nickname of ‘Big and Sturdy’. However, one had to admit that from childhood to now, he really didn’t get sick very often. Once he reached adulthood, he was not only extremely tall but also very sturdy. When he started protesting against this nickname, no one at home used it anymore once he turned ten. However, it had always been his sore point and he would erupt in fury whenever someone mentioned it.
“Alright ah, alright! Can’t you two see that this isn’t the right environment for you two to fight? This is Yu Fan’s good day today, so please calm down. you need to leave a good impression for Second Older Sister!” The eldest of the group of five and the one with the calmest personality was Zhong Lifeng. In one sentence, he was able to stop the two of them from blowing up.
Huang Zixu had the liveliest personality out of all of them and smiled brilliantly, “Xiaofan, can you bring us to the back kitchens to take a look at what sort of desserts are available? How about…we can go help ourselves?”
“Alright ah, alright! I agree with this plan!” Zang Borui immediately forgot the embarrassment of his nickname being mentioned and jumped up to express his agreement. Li Wenfeng’s eyes also lit up as he nodded his head repeatedly.
Little Shitou was a bit embarrassed, “You are all guests, so how could I take you to the back kitchen…”
“Come on ah! Don’t be such a worrywart. Just who are we to you? Go, go! Bring us to look around your residence’s kitchens!” The group of youths heckled him and began to squeeze through the corner gate to enter the courtyard.
These fellows had long and lanky legs, so they very quickly arrived at the back kitchens. Because the birthday banquet was being catered by the Yu’s Medicinal Cuisine House, the kitchen only had Yangliu and a few capable assistants from the pastry shop busily working. When they saw Zang Borui leading the pack into the kitchens, Yangliu immediately raised her eyebrows and put her hands on her hips as she hardly said, “Who are you ah? The kitchen isn’t a place for random people to just come and go as they please. Go back out!”
“Older Sister Yangliu, it’s me!” Little Shitou hastily came forward to help Zang Borui and revealed a bright smile on his face.
When she saw her mistress’s younger brother, Yangliu put away her fierce expression. However, the kitchen truly wasn’t a place for strangers to come and go. Thus she said, “Young Master, whatever you need, just tell one of the servants to come over. Why send these honored guests over to see such a crude area?”