Published at 23rd of November 2024 8:59 am

Chapter 2046 Murkiness

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The murkiness of Ryu's mind was only growing greater. Every time he tried to force his way out, he found himself trapped even further into the quagmire as though the mesh of time and space around him had formed a quicksand that he was already right in the middle of

His Cosmos Fog was too thick and it felt endless. The more he etched into his bones, the more it flooded into those etchings and even into his body. It coopted his Bloodlines, and it was even encroaching on the rest of the inner organs. It might have already taken over his Meridians if they didn't have deep and profound abilities of their own.

He was like an animal stuck in a cage of his own making. He knew that this would happen, but he had chosen to do it anyway.

The problem wasn't that he lacked the affinity, but rather that he lacked the depth of power. There was too much to analyze, too quickly. Having to do it personally would leave him not only unable to proceed but also entirely drained of Focus Qi.

Every time he slipped into this experience, it only got worse as he fell deeper and deeper.

Ryu couldn't help but chuckle to himself, finding the situation funny.

Fear of death? He didn't feel it, at least not in this situation. And maybe that was the real difference between himself and Sarriel.

Sarriel didn't want to die because she knew that the moment she did, there would be no one left to get revenge for her Clan. She lowered her head when it was necessary not because it was what she wanted to do, but because it was the smart thing to do to survive another day, to live for another moment, to strive for another improvement. This was why she did what she did.

Ryu had never seen things that way. It wasn't that he felt his family would be just fine without him. He didn't care how powerful Ailsa, Eska, or Isemeine grew. As far as he was concerned, if there was a bet to be made, he was the best choice to lay all their chips on.

The real reason Ryu never went as far as Sarriel in protecting his life was because he felt that no true cultivator could be born in fear.

If he wanted to rise to the top of the world, he couldn't be sheltered and hidden; he couldn't be a coward who lowered his head once, because then there would be a second time, and then a third.

He had seen it happen in his other lives before; he had seen what happened to people who bent with a thought and swayed with the changing winds.

He refused to be that person.

And unironically, that was what had led him to this situation.

Could he have asked his wives for help here? Yes. He didn't even have to go so far; just getting Lu'card or Ianjor to help him with this battle would have been more than enough. Both were Lords and they would be unlikely to be stopped by others.

He could have set up a formation ahead of time, he could take out the treasures he had literally just gained from Adlael, and make use of them right here and now while he figured out a way to get to the remnants of the Holy World.

But he had done none of that.

Why?

His pride.

And did he regret it?

Not even the slightest bit.

He had grown a lot in his cultivation journey. He had learned when to put his pride down in some respects, and he felt that he had grown as a person.

But this one kernel of himself...

He refused to change.

It was what made him Ryu Tatsuya, and it was why he didn't even have a thought to bed a woman who was so in line with his preferences like Sarriel.

The moment she trampled that bottom line, it was like any thoughts he had ever had of being with her were eviscerated.

It should have been clear to him then, but as with all things in the cultivation world... it wasn't what you knew, but rather how you came to know it that was undoubtedly the most important.

Did he know that he was arrogant? Of course he had always known.

But it wasn't until now, when he stared down a real possibility of death due to his own actions, that he truly felt the difference...

There wasn't even the slightest bit of regret in his heart. In fact, he could tell that even if he were to truly be lost in an endless cycle now, he would be disappointed... but he would also be content.

It was an odd feeling, one that Ryu never thought he would have. He thought that he would be the last person to ever want to die before he achieved his goals, and though he didn't truly want to die now, he was... just fine with it.

At first, he thought that it was his Dao Heart messing with him again, but he quickly realized that he was so lost in the mire of his Cosmos Fog that his Dao Heart couldn't even reach his mind to influence him, at least not well enough to manipulate a mind as sharp and intelligent as his own.

This left Ryu in an odd balanced state where his Dao Heart was finally active in a normal capacity for once in its life, and this was precisely when he truly felt the real

him.

All his life, the various attacks on his talents had twisted him one way or another, changing who he fundamentally was and shading his outlook on life.

And it was ironically in a quagmire of his own creation that he felt himself truly feel...

free.

He wished for nothing more than to reach the top of the world of cultivation, to stand above and lord over all others.

But should he fail... he would be content so long as it meant he had been given every chance to succeed.

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