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Himitsu – Kuro no Chikai (Light Novel) - Chapter 2, Part 4 – Contract
Chapter 2, Part 4 – Contract
Gentle sunlight illuminated a single branch on the Tree of Life. As a source of holy energy, angels often took breaks here. Rin stretched out on a low, shady branch, taking a brief rest. Lately, it had been busy here in Heaven.
It had been about a year since the demon faith investigation had begun in the Velcant Region. Unable to find any useful information even now, the units put on the mission continued to busily survey the human world daily. In particular, Kaito’s unit, which had Velcant under their direct surveillance, was the busiest.
Despite knowing that she would have to switch out for the surveillance again today, for some reason, she couldn’t find the motivation at all. It had been like this for a while now. No matter what she did, she’d end up spacing out and staring at the sky, and worrying Kaito, the other members of her unit, and even the most easygoing team in Heaven, Gaku and Gumi. However, in a time like this, their intuition was somehow sharp, guessing that she had eaten something strange while in the human world. However, unable to figure out the real reason, they could only worry from afar.
“Haa …… Miku ………”
She breathed a heavy sigh, and once again, the same thoughts repeated. Right now, the majority of her thoughts consisted of Miku. Ever since that day, she noticed that Miku’s face would keep flickering in her mind. She had been interested in her since before; a human that she liked so much, she would go out of her way to make time just to meet her in the human world. Nevertheless, she had never thought of her so much that she was unable to work, like what was happening today.
Ever since that day that she had kissed her, she felt like something had changed inside of her. How will I face Miku? The next time we meet, what should I say to her ….? In the first place, her personality of not worrying or thinking deeply about things worked against her; she had the habit of worrying endlessly once she got started. The last time she’d worried this much was when she had separated with “him”—her former partner, twenty years ago.
“Rin!”
Just as she was becoming lost in thought again, she heard someone call her from below. Snapping out of it, she cast her downwards and saw an angel, carrying a large pair of red scissors and a watering can, winking slyly—the stewardess of this tree, Meiko.
“Good timing~ I could use some help right about down. Would you help me out with the pruning?”
“It’s not often that I see you come around here. Really, it’s been too long.”
“Ahaha …… That’s true. Since we’re in different divisions now.”
Holding a pair of scissors that was nearly twice her height, Rin cut the branch of the apple tree. Normally, it would be the angels assigned under Gabriel that specialized in caring for this tree, so she wasn’t sure where and how she should cut. She merely pruned the areas that Meiko had designated earlier.
“How’ve you been lately~? I heard that you got promoted to a junior angel. If I remember, you were assigned to …… Kaito’s unit, right?”
Meiko said this while skillfully swinging the giant watering can to water the plants. She had helped Rin much when she had still been an angel trainee. As one of the finest apple cultivators in Heaven, she had taught Rin the basics of growing apples. While in the human world, they had had a teacher and student relationship. Meiko, who was also an Archangel like Kaito, had treated her very well, but once Rin had officially become a junior angel and gotten busy with work, they didn’t meet as much anymore. Being from different units, it wasn’t very often at all that they had work together.
“I’m doing surveillance in the human world as part of Kaito’s unit.”
“I see~ That person is the type that’s strict with both himself and others, so it must be tiring, right? Have you gotten used to work already?”
“Yep! I’ve already been working as a pair with Kaito for a while now, so …. I’m in tip-top shape!”
“……… Somehow, you look kind of glum. Did something happen?”
Rin was startled when she was asked this. Meiko’s voice sounded worried, but kind. Even though she had tried to act cheerful, Meiko had seen through everything. Perhaps because they had known each other for a long time, she could always easily find out what secrets she was hiding, no matter how trivial.
“……”
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I was just a bit worried. When I found you earlier, the face you were making …. It was the same as back then, that’s all …..”
Back then. Back when he had Fallen, Meiko had been there to support her then, as well.
“Hey ….. Have you …… Do you have interest in humans, Meiko?”
“…..?”
“Sorry! That was too sudden …… It’s just that, lately, I’ve been going to the human world often for work ….. And, well, I’ve had opportunities to speak with humans, and …… Yeah.”
“Well …… Speaking from my ‘position,’ humans are a frail existence that need us to watch over them. From the time they are born, until the day they die, to always watching over them—that is the mission of those who protect this tree.”
The Tree of Life, the Grand Tree. This single tree, a huge apple tree that almost seems to form an entire forest, is constantly being watched over and cared for by angels of Gabriel.
The Tree of Life sustains the circulation of life, and is, so to speak, God’s temporary form. The branches bear fruits of the soul, most of which fall to the earth and become the souls of humans.
However, rarely, there are apples that differ from normal apples of the soul, which will shine remarkably and ripen into fruits. These fruits do not fall to the earth, and from them, angels are born.
Furthermore, when a human or angel dies, their soul is returned to this tree again through its roots, and reborn into a new life. Nothing is for certain with this cycle of the circulation of souls; everything happens by chance. A life lost today may be born again somewhere the following day. Or, it may continue to sleep indefinitely inside the warm tree until the time comes. Angels merely provide minimal assistance so ensure that this endless cycle is not delayed.
Yes, simply watching over and nothing more.
“But, I think to myself sometimes. What if ……”
While smiling gently, Meiko patted the trunk of the tree, as if pitying it.
“What if, even if we suddenly stopped caring for this tree, it still …. Humans were still born, as they are now, and die, as they do now?”
“……”
“What if humans aren’t as weak as we believe them to be? …… Rather, despite being so frail, and simple …… and living such fleeting lives compared to us, they shine and do the best that they can …… What if they’re much stronger than us, angels? …… Keep it a secret from everyone that I’ve said this though, alright?”
It would be a controversial statement coming from the Archangel leading the tending of this tree. In Heaven, it was always regarded that, without the help of angels, humans would not be able to properly live nor die. It was a problem dealing with the meaning of the existence of angels.
“Okay …… Meiko, do you ever think about wanting to come in contact with humans?”
“Hmm …… Since I spend every day with their ‘souls’ like this, I wouldn’t dare to go to the human world and come in contact with their ‘containers.’ I believe that I’m already in contact with them enough as it is now.”
“I see ……”
“Are you interested in any human in particular, Rin?”
“Eh …… U-umm ……”
Rin, who was breaking the law of interacting with a human more than what was necessary, had suddenly just now become embarrassed.
“Fufu. You don’t have to hide it. I won’t tell anymore. And, anyway ….. You’re not the only one.”
“Eh ……?”
“You’re not the only angel that’s shown more interest than they should in humans …… Since long before, there’s been many angels that are the same way.”
“R-really ……?”
“…… This is also something that’s kept a secret from the younger ones, but ……”
‘Younger ones’ meant angels under the age of three hundred years old.
“Before, both Heaven and the human world were in much disarray. The distance between angels and humans used to be closer, and the laws didn’t used to be as strict as they are now. That was, until the Great War happened ……”
“……!”
“Do you know about ‘The Legendary Angel’?”
“Umm …… The one that played an active role in the Great War?”
At the Gran Dios Temple, during the time of the Oracle. A large, golden portrait of a woman adorned that sacred place. She was the savior of the war five hundred years prior, with invincible strength. All angels aspire to be like her at some point in their lives.
“Yes, the Legendary, Golden Angel. You know …… Even she Fell to the earth of her own accord.”
“!!”
“Surprised ……? Even she, who is said to be the Scripture of Angels. That’s why it’s not such an unnatural thing for angels to be interested in humans. Don’t you think so? After all, they’re the ‘lives’ that we risk out own lives to protect. Ah …… Keep everything I’ve told you a secret from everyone else, alright?”
Her heart had been beating so noisily since a while ago. Rin nodded vigorously, swearing to keep it all a secret, absolutely. Meiko held a finger to her lips as she laughed; it must have only been Rin’s imagination that her eyes seemed to waver a bit with loneliness.
Ever after consulting Meiko about humans ….. in other words, her ambiguity towards Miku, Rin still hadn’t made much progress on her feelings. Although she was relieved to learn that being interested humans wasn’t a negative thing, that was exactly what made it bad that she, as an angel, couldn’t stop thinking about a certain human to the point that she was barely able to do her work. Her direct superior, Kaito, was soft on her, and had told her not to hesitate to talk with him if she had something on her mind. However, since Kaito was of the Ira Faction, which didn’t think too highly of humans, there was no way she could possibly discuss the matters about Miku with him, and so time had passed with an awkwardness remaining between them.
It would soon be about one month since she had last met with Miku. For angels, one month was barely any time at all, but for humans, one month should be long enough for a major event to blow over and cool down.
Within this changeover period for the demon faith surveillance, she would once more have to be in the human world every day for work for the time-being. With these dallying, unpleasant emotions revived, she prepared to descend. As soon as the takeover work ended today, she would go to meet her right away. She didn’t plan to do anything once she did, though. She just wanted to apologize for suddenly kissing her, and be honest about the feelings she had right now—
Her heavy flapping felt a little lighter, and spreading out her wings, she headed towards the land below.
“My apologies~ She should be returning either tomorrow or the day after.”
It had been a while since Rin had visited the Cyrinpt Mansion.
Due to bad timing, Miku had currently stepped out, and Lily, who was keeping her company, had brewed some tea for her. As usual, the tea that she brewed was delicious.
“And? It’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you last. Is work busy~?”
“Yeah …… I … guess so.”
She answered vaguely, as if she were deceiving her. It was true that it was a busy work period, but because her thoughts were full of Miku rather than work, she felt a guilty conscience somehow.
“I see~ Lady Miku doesn’t seem like herself these days, so I wondered if something had happened between the two of you. Ever since that day, you’ve stopped coming as frequently as you used to, after all.”
“ugh— ….. guh, ackk”
“My! Are you alright?”
Rin looked at Lily, who was sitting across from her, as she choked on the Darjeeling tea that she had been drinking. For some reason …. Behind her worried expression, she felt like Lily was looking at her with a kind of gleeful curiosity.
“Nevertheless, your reactions are quite easy to understand, Lady Rin~”
“B-be quiet.”
She was often teased by the other angels for not being able to lie or keep secrets, but recently, even Miku and Lily had started to tease her.
“And, so …..? Did you and Lady Miku have an argument?”
“…… We didn’t.”
“Then …… Did you say something to make things turn sour between you two?”
“…. I …… don’t think ….. I have?”
“…… Why do you sound unsure?”
“…. That’s because ……”
Just as Rin was about to say, “Because I don’t understand human emotions,” she shut her mouth.
She had nearly forgotten that Lily didn’t know that she was an angel. Right now, Rin was adjusting her power so that she could be seen as an ordinary human like Lily, and hiding her wings from view. Here, she had been given the identity of a freewheeling noble living in the neighboring country. Because of the fact that she was always so natural around them, she had almost forgotten for a moment.
“Ah— …… It’s because ….. Miku said she was getting married … all of a sudden.”
“Life is always sudden, full of ups and down; but tomorrow is always another day! No one knows what is in store …… That, is romance.”
Just what was Lily imagining as she said this, with her cheeks slightly reddened?
“No, what I mean is ……”
“In other words!”
Pointing across the table with her index finger and posing like a detective that had just figured out a case, Lily spoke.
“I don’t like it …. That Lady Miku is thinking of marriage, before even consulting me about it!”
“Uu ……”
“Aaah …… Even though we’ve always gotten along with no secrets between us ……”
“Uuu ……”
“And yet … And yet ……! Before I’d noticed, she’s become so friendly with that kind of man ……!”
“Uuu …………”
“What a traitorous act! Now that it’s come to this~ I’ll kill you, and then kill myself—!”
“That’s overdoing it.”
Rin chopped Lily’s head as she began rambling like an actor with dramatic gestures. Lily rubbed her head, even though it was obvious that it didn’t hurt.
“But, that’s how you feel, correct?”
“……………”
“I’ll take your silence as an affirmative~”
“……. N-not so much …. that I’d want to kill her.”
“…… That was only a joke. You’re surprisingly radical, Lady Rin. Hmm~ I see~ …… Hmmm ……”
“What ……?”
“Oh, it’s nothing. And, what do you intend to do, Lady Rin?”
“……? Intend …… to do?”
“Umm, as in …… Do you want to prevent Lady Miku’s marriage?”
“P-prevent it!? No, I …… Besides, she said it still hasn’t even been finalized yet ……”
“Eh? Ah, speaking of which, while Lady Rin was absent, it’s been formally settled~ If memory serves correctly …… the ceremony will take place next month~”
“!! I …… I see ……”
She couldn’t hide her shock at Lily’s words.
“Will you be attending the wedding?”
“……… I don’t want to go.”
“…… Is that so …… But I …..”
All of her sudden, Rib’s vision was blinded by an ominous black.
“—went to the trouble of preparing you a new outfit to wear for the wedding ……”
Lily acted as if she were breaking down into sorrow, and let out a loud, dejected sigh. In the end, what mattered most to her was that the new outfit had all gone to waste.
“I’ve, already, told you! I’m never wearing black again!”
“But it’s a wedding! Everyone will be dressed in all black! You know?”
“……”
“The outfit you wore at the banquet last time suited you oh so well. You were monopolizing all of the gazes from the young lady guests~”
“Huuuh~?”
“Oh my, you noticed, didn’t you? You really are so sinful~ Without knowing it was a cross dress, all the girls were falling head over heels for you! How impure~! Ah, but that dangerous aura is rather ……. Well, putting that aside ….. After all, Lady Rin has eyes only for Lady Miku~”
Cross dress—Since she normally looked like a girl, then that was probably about right.
“…… I wonder if I’ve made a mistake, after all ……”
As Lily made fun of her, Rin muttered to herself. For humans, the usual couple consisted of a man and a woman, for the sake of reproduction. Although, every once in a while, she would heard about two same-gendered people that loved each other …… But, even so, it was strange like she, an angel that appeared to be a girl, was interested in a human that was also female, like she was.
Or did the problem lie in the fact that angels and humans weren’t compatible?
“Eh?”
“…… Ah, no, it’s nothing. Don’t mind it.”
Although her feelings should have been sorted out a bit after talking with Meiko, she felt them grow heavy once more.
“…… I don’t think you’re mistaken at all.”
“Eh?”
When she lifted her face at the sound of a voice, she saw that Lily had come to her side, smiling at her almost pitifully.
“The most important thing ….. is the quality of the soul. After all, appearances are nothing more than the ‘container’ which holds the soul.”
“……! That’s ……”
It was … almost as if “they” were the same—
“At the banquet, you were all by yourself, weren’t you~? You spoke with Lady Miku in secret, didn’t you~?”
“………… Haa …… You have some hellish ears yourself.”
One day, Rin would return those words right back at the person before her. For a brief moment, she had panicked, thinking that Lily had seen through to her true identity. Despite being a human, sometimes the things she said surprised her. Although, those words always helped her in some way ……
“You should live how you want to, and be true to your own feelings. After all, you only live once.”
Saying this as she smiled, you wouldn’t think that she had seen telling stupid jokes just a moment ago. Right now, Lily seemed even more aged and solemn than Rin, who was over one hundred and fifty years old.
Finishing Lily’s tea, Rin slowly flew the way back to Heaven. Despite the fact that she’d been so excited to come, in the end, the person she’d wanted to see wasn’t there, leaving her feeling disappointed. Although she had received some courage after talking with Lily, if they met now, she would be lost on what to say. It might’ve been a good thing that they hadn’t been able to meet today, then. However, deciding that she wouldn’t see her again had never been an option since the start. Nothing good would come out of continuing to run like this. She’d come back tomorrow. And then—
“Fancy meeting you again in a place like this!”
Still, she didn’t know what she should say. First of all, she would probably apologize for what had happened last month.
“O~i! Can you hear me~?”
But how should she even apologize? Just suddenly say, “I’m sorry!” …..?
“Heeey.”
All of a sudden, her left arm was grabbed with a strong force, surprising her.
“What’re you spacing out for? Something troubling you~?”
Turning around, Rin saw the red-haired demon that she had fought with before, smiling just as casually as he had before. For a moment, she was unable to respond to this sudden situation, but after a pause, she tried to free her arm. However, his grip was too tight, and she wasn’t able to resist. This demon was much stronger than her. She remembered how she had been overwhelmed by his strength in their previous battle.
—If she couldn’t win by strength, she had no choice but to try negotiating with him.
“Oh? You’re quiet today~ Have you finally learned that I’m the stronger one here?”
“…… tch. What are you after?”
It was frustrating that she couldn’t say anything back, but this opponent’s level was above average. She couldn’t act recklessly like last time and cause trouble for everyone again.
“Hmm …… It’s not like I called out to you because I was after anything. I just see you from time to time when I go on a stroll.”
“…… Even demons … take strolls, huh?”
“…… pfft—”
“……?”
“Ahhahahaha—”
The demon suddenly burst into a laughing fit. Laughing while holding his stomach, he looked so much different than how she knew demons to be like—cruel and cunning.
“Wh-what’s so funny!?”
“Ahhaha …… Aah~ Oh, no, no. It’s just that, it seems like you’re misunderstanding us.”
“Misunderstanding!? About what!?”
“Even if you lump all of us demons together, there’s both good guys and bad guys among us.”
“……! What …… What’re you trying to say!?”
“It’s the same in your precious Heaven, isn’t it—? Angels have various different personalities, too.”
“tch ……”
“There’re ones like you: genuine, pure, and cute angels. And then there’re angels that do terrible things, far worse than the acts of demons, under the guise of holy power, right?”
“Wh ……! Don’t speak nonsense!”
“I’m not. And anyway …… Demons originated from fallen angels, you know?”
Hearing those words, her body stiffened, rendering her unable to move.
Demons …… came from angels?
“Well, I guess that kind of thing doesn’t really matter. Demons, or angels. And anyway ….”
The demon released his grip on her slightly and peered at her face.
“Did something happen? You’ve become a lot meeker than the last time we met.”
“…… It has nothing to do with you.”
“Hmm …… What? Did you have an argument with a human?”
“……!!”
Even though it was a demon that had said it, his words made her snap her head up.
“Huh, bull’s eye? My intuition is pretty sharp~ Probably because I’m a demon, I guess. People’s secrets …… Because it’s part of yin, the dark force, I’ve always been able to see them quite well.”
“……”
“It really is all over your face. Sort of like, you’re completely guilty about something? Ah, could it be that you’ve fallen in love with a human boy?”
“!!”
“Ah— …… I was just joking, but was I actually right?”
“…… tch.”
Even though she wanted to deny it, the words wouldn’t come out. If it was this demon with the good intuition, any explanation she came up with would be seen right through in the end.
“Ah, well …… What a shame. You’re pretty cute, so I was going for you.”
Rin pulled her gun out and quickly aimed it.
“Hey, wait~ What’re you getting angry for!?”
“Don’t mess with me!”
“I’m not~ I quite like angels, since they’re cute. When it comes to angels, blonde hair and blue eyes is the ideal, right? And you look just like one—the perfect angel.”
“That’s prejudiced!”
“Is it? The Legendary Angel of old, it was said that she was a beautiful girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, wasn’t she?”
“…… That has … nothing to do with it right now.”
Although she planned to fire the gun with brute force, because the demon had a grip on her right arm, she couldn’t put any strength into it.
“Woah, that was close! You can’t kill me, you know~? Anyway, I don’t think it’d be a good idea for you to kill me.”
Saying this as he easily put up with her resistance, he grinned; the next words to leave his mouth sounded sweet and seductive.
“Don’t you want to know ……? How to capture that human for your own.”
There were inside an aging cathedral on the outskirts of town. After moving the stone monument embedded beneath the altar, it revealed a dim, underground tunnel. Relying on the few lit candles on the walls, they descended the dark, dark staircase. Without a single turn, the path continued in a straight line. The dark stairs gave off an eerie feel, as if they continued all the way down to Hell. Rin stared at the back of the demon that walked in front of her.
Close to Rulen Island, the center of Alphine, was the small island of Minole. The center island, Rulen, and the surrounding islands, each had their own politics, and even Rulen, which was the center of the government, couldn’t interfere much with the governing of other islands. This was due to the fact that once, long ago, the nobles that had been active in establishing the Kingdom of Alphine had brought together individual politics into the land, and for that reason, each island’s culture was slightly different.
The island that the demon had taken her to, Minole, was a small island to the northwest of Rulen, with a population of a mere fifty thousand. Because they usually did surveillance patrols in Alphine, Rin had flown to his island several times before, but it was her first time seeing the place they were in now. Could a demon’s hideout actually have been in a place like this? Perhaps due to anxiety, her heart had been pounding since earlier. It would be her first time setting foot into the lair of the enemy—and one that was clearly stronger than her, at that.
Finally, they saw the end of the seemingly endless staircase. The demon walking ahead of her stepped down, and opened the door that lay ahead. It made an unpleasant creaking sound as it opened.
“Yo. Granny, you in here?”
Once Rin was though the door that the demon had led her to, inside, an odd scene spread out before her. All the walls of the wide interior were lined with bookshelves that were crammed up high with books. The ceiling was so high up that it wouldn’t be seen from where they were. In the center of the room was a large desk, and around it, machines that looked like laboratory equipment, emitted low noises as they operated. Just seeing all the rows of animal bones, creepy-looking plants, and suspiciously-colored fluids made her want to leave.
Just as she was standing there bewildered, an old lady emerged from a door at the back that seemed to connect to the next room.
“…… My, my, so it’s you, is it? What is it, at this hour?”
The old lady, who looked just a “witch” from a storybook, looked over in their direction with an annoyed expression. Although her appearance was rather unsightly, she wasn’t a demon, but an ordinary human. Although, because it seemed the old lady could naturally see the tree forms of angels and demons, it was hard to say that she was ordinary.
When their eyes met, a nasty smile crept onto the old lady’s face.
“Oh, what have we here …… It’s been a while since I’ve seen an angel in the flesh.”
“She’s cute, isn’t she?”
“Ah, yes …… Quite adorable, she is ……”
There was something insulting and criticizing about her face when she laughed about her being cute.
“Now then …… What business do you have here, young lady?”
As she swirled a reddish brown flask that sat on top of the desk, the old lady spoke.
“……”
Unable to answer, the demon beside her soon came to Rin’s aid.
“You mentioned it before, right? A love potion. That’s what we’re here for.”
“A love potion …… Have I ever made such a thing ……?”
“You have, haven’t you~? Have you already forgotten, Granny……?”
“That is no way to speak to the elderly! In any case, a potion I’ve made once cannot be made again.”
“Haa~~!? What’s with that unreasonable pickiness?”
“You had best give up on it ……”
“What the hell …… Ah~ …… Well, what’re ya gonna do?”
The demon glanced in Rin’s direction. He was making a disappointed face, as if going out of his way to introduce her had all been for nothing.
“It’s not like … I need anything like a love potion. And besides ……”
And besides …… Why would she make Miku drink a love potion? That made it seem like she was in love with Miku. And on top of being lured in, it was a disgrace that she had consulted and was being helped by a demon, the enemy.
“Hmm. Young lady, it would seem that your worries are rather complicated …… I sense the hint of a taboo.”
The moment Rin heard the word, “taboo,” her heartbeat sped up.
“Huh …… taboo, eh? Scary, scary.”
As a suspicious glint flashed in the demon’s eye, he waved both hands.
“Are you one to speak ……? Demons are truly terrible beings. Letting others’ trust in them seep into their hearts, and by the time they notice, they’re descending down the stairs to the abyss together.”
As the old lady bantered at the demon, she faced Rin again.
“Young lady, this is becoming a complicated conversation. If you do not wish to hear it, I would advise you leave.”
“? Wh-what do you mean ……?”
“Do you truly like that human so much?”
“! Wh-wha ……”
Here it was again. Just like when the demon had guessed what she was thinking, could even this old lady see through her?
“…… Ah— I’ll be leaving now. I’ll let you two take your time now.”
With just that, the demon turned to leave.
“Eh……! W-wait!”
In a panic, Rin called after him. Had he brought her all this way just to introduce her to an old lady?
“Well, don’t work yourself too hard over it. If you’ll become one of ‘us,’ you’re welcome anytime.”
And with that, he disappeared beyond the door.
Although he said “us,” this old lady was a human, so what could he have meant by that?
“It would seem that he brought you here because he’s interested in you. However, it doesn’t necessarily mean he’s thinking of taking you in.”
“B-but ……”
“For the most part, demons are fickle. Well, regardless of his appearance, he’s a meddlesome one, and prone to changing his mind halfway. Incidentally ……”
Studying her from head to toe, this human should have been much younger than she was, but for some reason, Rin felt strangely nervous around her.
“What is your name?”
“Um, it’s …… Rin.”
Surprisingly, the old lady asked such a thing. Seeing as how she was an acquaintance of the demon from earlier, and wasn’t surprised to see an angel, it would seem that she was a human that knew a great deal about “this world.”
“Rin …… hmm?”
“Um, and you are?”
“Even my own name has been forgotten long ago.”
“…… I think I’m still much older than you, though ……”
It wasn’t her appearance, but it was like this person, who somehow gave off the feeling of being much older than she was, was holding some secrets.
“Rin, why have you come here?”
“…… H-he brought me here.”
“That is not what I asked. I’m asking, why were you tempted by him? Are you that foolish of an angel?”
“……”
Rin was stunned by those words. It was frustrating to admit, but it seemed that the other was rather skilled. And, for some reason, when she spoke to this person, she was seized by a strange temptation of wanting to tell her the true feelings that she had told no one else.
“…… There’s someone I’m interested in. Ah, well …… she’s a human girl, though.”
“Hmm … In Heaven, there should be a rule that prohibits angels to become involved with a specific human.”
“……! Ah, that’s why, um ……”
Just as she said this, she started to feel the guilt gnawing at her.
“Wait, that’s simply what the law dictates. There are many angels that have left Heaven because they oppose of such an absurd law.”
“……!! Y-you know about that?”
“…… Well, of those I know, there have been several.”
Suddenly, Rin remembered the face of her partner that she had separated from twenty years ago. Perhaps he was also an acquaintance of this old lady ……
“The last time I saw an angel was forty years ago. Ever since then, I haven’t heard about any fallen angels …… I’ve heard that recently, the laws in Heaven have before stricter.”
“…… T-that’s … true ……”
He had Fallen twenty years ago …… in that case, she wouldn’t know about it. Rin was a bit dismayed at this.
“Tell me now, the human you are infatuated with, what does she think of you? To be begin with, can she even see your true form?”
“…… Ah, um …… Miku … saved me. One year ago, I happened to get into a fight with that demon from earlier …… I got injured, and was unable to return to Heaven, but … She—Miku, happened to pass by, and asked me if I’d rest at her home, and I became indebted to her ……”
“I see …… In other words, it was love at first sight, hm?”
“N-no, you’re wrong! At that time, I didn’t ……”
“Then why did you decide to go along with a human girl whom you had just met …..? No matter how serious an injury, angels have ways to heal themselves.”
“….. That’s, because … it was my first time speaking with a human …… And, I thought it was unusual. For her to be able to see my true form, just like you’re able to …..”
“….. In that case, if I had happened to pass by at that time, and held out a hand to you, would you have come along with me without a second thought ……?”
“No way! Definitely not! ………………… Ah.”
“You’re an honest one. But more than anything, that is your proof.”
The beating of her heart was the answer to the old lady’s words.
“But, if you say love at first sight, then ……”
“It began from love at first sight, and after much time passed, those feelings became certain. That is what love is.”
“…… I-is this … really love ……?”
These were the feelings that she didn’t want to admit. Angels do not love. They aren’t allowed to. The only thing that they have is affection. Rin had heard that love was a strong emotion that meant devoting your entire self to another. However, that emotion is prohibited for angels that live for their mission and for “God,” and no matter how close angels might be to one another, the one that takes the highest priority is “God.” The angels that cannot do so are treated as heretics, and subjected to reeducation.
“Although you may not understand it, it is not impossible. Angels do not love, correct? However, you have realized what it is. Simply accepting it is enough. Now then, there are two paths that lie before you.”
“…… Two … paths ……?”
Since a while ago, due to the old lady’s skillful speaking ability, Rin could now only vaguely repeat her words.
She was so drawn in this time that it was inevitable.
“Yes. The first is …… In accordance to the law, your soul will be reduced once more to the source of life; that which is called the Tree of Life, in Heaven. There, your current ‘unnecessary’ memories and emotions will all be removed, and you will be reborn with a clean state as ‘Rin.’”
“……!! Th-that’s ……”
“Were you not aware? Since long before, angels that have become heretics would have their unnecessary memories taken away, and their souls reset. However, at the very least, their lives are left intact. They are merciful in that aspect.”
“…… I’ve never heard about heretics or anything my entire life ……”
“Not a surprise. From the looks of it, you still seem young. Those in power tend to keep the darker parts behind closed doors. Well, that is the same both in Heaven and in these lands.”
“!!”
Rin couldn’t say that she wasn’t unfamiliar with this. Every few years, there would be an angel that would mysteriously become amnesiac after disappearing during a mission. However, she would always hear about how it was due to a battle with a demon, or due to an accident because of their own carelessness, and neither she nor anyone around her felt that that there was anything unusual.
An unpleasant sweat rolled down her back.
“In any case, if your infatuation with a human is discovered, you will meet that same fate. However, that is dependent on you. If you don’t want to be exposed, then you should cut off any future contact with that human. It is that simple.”
“……”
“…… Perhaps I’m teasing you a bit too much. If those feelings could be so easily forgotten, so many angels would not have Fallen to these lands up until this day.”
“……! Fallen angels ……”
“To Fall …… That is the second path. Most angles that have Fallen do so because of love. Although rare, there are those that have done for other reasons ……”
Fallen angels. The most traitorous act against God and Heaven. That was what those that abandoned their mission as an angels and Fall to the earth are called.
“Although they’re all called fallen angels …… there are several kinds. There are those that have made contracts with demons and dyed their wings black …… and those that remain as angels, seal their power, and live in hiding ….. Although most form contracts with demons and convert their holy power to dark power …… If not, they’ll soon be discovered by Heaven. And then, there’s ……”
“……?”
“Humans …… Those that wish to live among humans wish to blend in as naturally as possible in the human world. That is why they rely on my help. On ‘us,’ who, although human, possess powers—extraordinary powers.”
“…… Eh ……?”
“But, that has little relevance. I’ve said that in the past, there have been several angels that came to me wanting to live in the human world, yes?”
“Yeah.”
“Living in the human world while avoiding detection from Heaven is quite difficult to do. It isn’t something that can be accomplished with one’s own power. First, in order to not be found by Heaven, one’s holy energy must be completely sealed. …… However, angels without any holy energy ….. No, it’s the same for humans—they will, inevitably die.”
“…… O-of course they will.”
“After you die, then all is lost … However, there are two ways to live while sealing one’s power. …… The first is to pair one’s holy power with dark power …. To use the power that demons possess. By forming a contract with a specific demon, use their ability to change one’s holy power into dark power. In other words, become a demon.”
“…… A … demon ……”
“Well, your appearance would not go through much change.”
“……”
“The other way is …… to use this.”
The old lady reached over to the cupboard beside the desk and pulled out an aging and tattered scale.
“A scale ……?”
It appeared to be a scale, however, it had only one dish.
“This is called the Scale of Judgment. In exchange for granting one wish of the user, something of equal value is sacrificed in order to balance the scale.”
“What … does that mean ……?”
“Ahh ….. Allow me to explain. Suppose that you have a wish that you want granted, no matter the cost. In that case, you would wish on this scale. However …… The moment that wish is granted, you will experience the happiness you have acquired and at the same time, an equal amount of sadness. In other words, it will even out. —The person that used this previously was a man that that wanted to cure his wife who had a life-threatening disease. He knew of the heavy risks that the scale held, but still, his feelings of wanting to his wife were stronger. With the power of the scale, his wife became perfectly well again. However, from that day on, she no longer loved her husband. Losing his wife, and being loved by her, were equal in value to him. And as for his fate …… For him, his wife was his only reason to live. After being abandoned by his wife, he left his final words of grief, and took his own life ……”
“……”
“That is the kind of tool it is. If you were to use this scale, what would you wish for? And what would you give up? …… Now then, which path will you follow?”
Which path …… Should she be faithful to God, and throw away all of her “unnecessary memories” and be reborn as an angel? Or should she betray God and Heaven, and Fall to the earth to escape ……?
Should she become a demon, or a human?
“……”
“Well, I’m sure you’re conflicted. Although, even if your memories are erased in Heaven, it is only of the things concerning the one you loved. You won’t lose everything.”
“My memories …… I don’t want … to lose my memories I’ve made with Miku ……”
“…… I’ve had my assumptions when you arrived here. What is it that you want?”
“…… I don’t want to forget my memories of Miku! Definitely not …… But, I can’t ……. betray Heaven … or Kaito and everyone ……”
“A selfish girl, aren’t you? You cannot have everything in life.”
“But—“
“…… From my point of view, I can already see the answer within you.”
“……!!”
“The ‘soul’ is always truthful. Because of this, it is most painful to live while lying to oneself.”
“…… What … should I do ……”
“For what purpose do you want to live for?”
Rin had been asked this same thing once before. She remembered the words that he, who had Fallen, had said on that day.
“I … I ……”
With her head in a panic, she couldn’t find the words.
“Keep calm. Close your eyes and breathe slowly. Understood? Try to recall of memories of happy times, sad times, and kind feelings. …… Now, what do you see there?”
Just as the old lady told her to, Rin shut her eyes and took slow breathes. Happy memories flooded into her mind: When she grew apples with Gumi and Meiko and everyone. Delicious apples. They brought them to Gaku, and although she seemed a bit displeased, they enjoyed tea time with Luka. They always talked about many things, and she would think of silly pranks and he would get mad at her …… Kaito. He had made fun of her, saying that there’s never been an angel that fell out of a tree, despite having wings. Even when she made mistakes during her work, he would kindly give his support while lecturing her. They had flown through the skies together …… Just as she had done with him, who was no longer here. He, blue-eyed and kind—they would ditch work together, and think of pranks to pull on Kaito. They were so kind. Everyone was so kind, and warm.
And yet—
When Rin opened her eyes, tears had started flowing.
“..…. That which you thought of just now …… There is your answer.”
“…… I …… Kai … to …… everyone ……… I’m …. so sorry.”
Because of the tears that flowed freely now, as if from an open dam, the old lady’s face before her appeared faintly blurred. The next thing she knew, the old lady’s wrinkled hand was patting her head gently. The warmth from her hand was so gentle that she could no longer stop the tears from falling.
“Why …… how ……”
“…… Worry not. Who is to tell you that that ‘answer’ is a wrong one?”
In some roundabout way, those words gave her relief, and she could no longer stop the feelings that she had kept in the depths of her heart from overflowing now. She had always been terrible at lying.
Those gentle and warm days. Her proud mission as an angel. So many of those precious, irreplaceable memories lined up, but they wavered in the face of that smile from that day, when she reached a hand out towards her.
I have Fallen for her.
What Rin took from the old lady was the contract—gold lettering on jet black paper.
Rin knocked modestly against the window. The Cyrinpt Mansion was very quiet in the middle of the night, mostly due to the fact that everyone besides the night-shift servants were asleep. Miku’s room was in the corner of the third floor that received much sunlight during the day, and whenever she came only to see her, Rin would always come to the window of this room. It had already been one year since Miku promised to always open it for her when she knocked.
Rin waited for a while, and when there was no response, she tried knocking once more. If she still didn’t answer after this, then she’d just give up. Perhaps she’d already gone to bed …… Or perhaps … If she was being ignored—
Just as she was starting to get discouraged with negative thoughts, the window suddenly opened, causing her to fly upwards as a reflex. Miku was looking over at her with a slightly surprised expression.
“U-um ……”
It had been one month since that banquet …… Although for angels, one month should feel like only a moment, why did it feel like so much time had passed? And, now that the face of the person that had never left her mind during that period was before her, she didn’t even know what to say. It was so pathetic. As Rin stuttered while desperately trying to find the words, it was Miku that spoke up first.
“I apologize for last time.”
“Eh?”
“It was so sudden, so I was surprised ……”
“Ah ….. U-um, about that ……”
“It was … like a social gesture, right ……?”
“Eh ……?”
“You said before that the culture for angels is different from the culture here. It seemed that I completely forgot about something so obvious. For us, that kind of thing is done between lovers, but …… I remembered how you said for angels, everything is based on affection …… You kissed me because you and I are friends, despite me being a human. And yet, I was surprised, and ran away from you ……”
“Ah ….. Y-yeah.”
Rin couldn’t say anything more than that. For some reason ….. Her chest hurt like her heart was breaking. It felt so painful that tears threatened to form.
An angel’s kiss was a proof of blessing. There were no romantic feelings involved, but simply affection. Although Miku had only made up that “culture” on her own, it was actually completely right.
But …… that kiss had been …
Rin wanted to deny it in a loud voice, saying that that she was wrong, but after they had finally been able to talk, a part of her was very afraid of making her upset again. Smiling softly as she suppressed the conflicts within her heart, Miku leaned against the balcony rail and spoke up after collecting her thoughts.
“It’s ….. been officially decided that I’m to be married to Mr. Iceburg. Have you already heard from Lily ……?”
“Yeah …… She told me … the other day.”
She had heard from Lily, but to hear it from Miku herself—somewhere in her heart, Rin was begging to be saved. If only she would change her mind …… Ever since she had realized her love for Miku, she felt like everything changed to accommodate her desires. Those murky emotions stirred. She wished that she could monopolize everything about her …… These feelings—how greedy they were. Love was such a selfish and foul thing.
“Miku …… Are you really fine with that ……?”
Hiding her own filthy feelings, Rin spoke only words that made it seem like she was worried about her.
“…… I’ve said so before. I have something very important to me, and I can’t betray that.”
“Is that for your family? For your mother’s sake? For everyone’s sake?”
“…… I … suppose. It would be … for everyone’s sake.”
“…… Then … Miku …… What about your own sake? Who lives for your sake, Miku?”
“Th-that’s ……”
“That Iceburg person—To me, it doesn’t seem like he really loves you at all! Just like the other nobles, he only has his own interests in mind!”
“…..!!”
“Miku, you’re always … always only thinking of other people! You never think of fulfilling your own happiness! Is that okay? Are you really fine with that?“
She couldn’t stop the words from spilling out. Who was she to say this? Up until a moment ago, she had only been thinking about how she didn’t want Miku to hate her, so how could she—
“Humans’ lives are short, you know? Compared to how much time angels have, it really is a blink of an eye! But even so ….. Putting up with things you don’t like, holding in all of your true feelings … from now …… until the day you die …… Living for the sake of those around you … That’s just so ……”
She wanted to say how sad it was, but the words stuck in her throat. The girl before her was trembling with a very hurt expression. Rin had uncovered the feelings that Miku had always kept locked away in her heart, unwilling to reveal them to anyone. In a moment, her eyes blurred over with tears. Despite the timing, Rin thought her expression looked very beautiful.
“I… I ……”
Holding back the tears until they finally spilled over, Miku shouted with her true feelings:
“In reality …… I want to live freely! I want … to fall in love ……! I want friends! …… I don’t want to study all the time, but to have fun, too! …… I wanted someone to praise me … saying that I’ve done well! Whenever I was sad, I wanted someone to hold me! I just …… I just wanted to be loved, without being asked for anything in return ……!”
Along with her sorrowful cries, the tears continued to stream down her cheeks without stopping. To think that she, who was always smiling, was hiding such powerful emotions. Rin embraced her thin, frail body.
“When it’s too hard, you can cry …… Because I’ll let you cry.”
“Rin ……”
“You’re important to me, Miku.”
“……”
“I’ll be your side …… Always.”
“……”
“I’ll always …… be by your side and protect you.”
“……”
Miku didn’t say anything. She simply continued to cry in sobs. The moment Rin saw her tears, she realized it. She was convinced now that her feelings weren’t unusual, and that they weren’t heresy or anything wrong.
I’ve found it. That which you spoke of …… Although it’s taken me so long, I think I finally understand.
“For what purpose do you think ‘life’ exists?”
I’m certain that it is meant to be used, for someone else’s sake.
The Claude Cathedral, bathed in twilight. This most remarkably regal cathedral among the buildings in the human world—when was the first time that I’d come here? This was also the place that I had first met her.
Miku—
You, a human, will go so much sooner than I, an angel. And, one day, I’ll be in a world where you no longer exist.
Ever since I met her, my world has changed. The world which I thought was colorful and rich, shone increasingly brighter, and because of her, these eyes reflected pure white to pitch black, and so many vivid colors in between.
In my right hand was a gun.
And what I aimed at, was a single apple.
Juicy and emitting a sweet scent, “my soul,” that was slightly overripe, would soon rot. It was written in the contract that I had received from the old lady: “Place the vessel for your soul on one side of the scale, and make your wish.”
I want to become a human. That’s why I’ve decided to sever my soul as an angel. No matter what I lose in exchange for my wish. No matter what happens to me, as long as I can be by her side as a human, I can tolerate any pain.
“Goodbye ……”
I didn’t know who those words were for. The one I was parting with was the angel, Rin, and that life. In the back of my mind, gentle smiles flickered. My comrades in Heaven, my superiors, and—
As if to cut off those feelings, I pulled the trigger.
Countless stark white feathers danced upwards into the wide sky.
What pretty wings … Only the smile of the one who had said this remained etched into the back of my eyelids.
***
Her heart was suddenly taken by a tightening pain, stopping her breath. The man beside her, the son of the Iceburg family, looked over at her in wonder.
“What’s wrong, Miku? Are you feeling unwell?”
“….. Ah, no, not at all. It’s just … my chest starting hurting a little.”
“That’s not good. Let us go see a doctor at once.”
“Ah, I’m fine, so please don’t mind it.”
“But, if my angel were to fall ill, I wouldn’t be able to live with the grief.”
“Angel ……”
An angel …… She turned to look out the window. If angels really existed, would they be flying freely with their wings through this sky?
“If … I were to meet an angel ……”
Beside her, after hearing that she was fine, he had immediately started to look through outfits again.
“I’d want to fly with them through this vast sky.”
“Hahah. You say such cute things. But, don’t actually fly away. I’ll become lonely.”
“…… Oh, Mr. Iceburg.”
“Speaking of which, that ring—”
“Eh?”
“It seems like you treasure it very much, but …… I’d like it if you would wear for me this engagement ring that I’ve bought.”
“……!!”
The viscount slowly took out a small box from his breast pocket, and fit onto her left ring finger a ring with a large diamond on it.
“Waah …… It’s so pretty.”
“It’s a perfect match for your beauty.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m so glad that you like it. …… That flower ring that you always have on your right hand—now that you have this, you don’t need it anymore, yes?”
“……? Ah, y-yes.”
“Then, I’ll hold onto it for you.”
He told her this, and took off the ring that was always on her right hand. Come to think of it, why did she always put on this ring everyday—She couldn’t remember where and why she had purchased it. As she stared at the admirably fitted, beautiful diamond on her left hand, she drifted into thought.
The pain that she had felt in her chest must have just been her imagination. But—
She felt a lonely feeling in her heart, as if a gaping hole had been opened up. It felt like she had forgotten something very important.
Perhaps it was merely because of the beautiful evening. The vermillion sky looked almost sentimental at a glance, the color somehow nostalgic.
