Published at 12th of April 2024 8:22 am

Chapter 847: Balance Training

This chapter is updated by JustRead.pl

In addition to the invasion of alien insects (cock monsters), the other major plot point of the sixth chapter of “Cthulhu Also Wants Love” is that after Cthulhu cuckolds Dagon, he faced his subordinate and said, “Actually, I don’t like your wife, the person I love is you.”

The readers’ comments went crazy over the inspiration provided by Little Smart:

“I can’t bare to look at Cthulhu being gay with Dagon.”

“So what is Hydra going to do?”

“An extremely tragic evil deity love triangle.”

Of course, the people who complained about Xiao Qin’s poor drawing skills always accounted for a large portion of the comments.

Take this time for example, there are people who said that the UFO looked like a sweet potato, that the image of Cthulhu spitting out attacks at the UFO looked like he was baking a sweet potato with a welding torch, and other similar comments.

“Sweet potatoes, eggplants, and potatoes, the whole family’s here.”

“Celery-sensei is worthy of being the founder of the Vegetable Drawing School, please accept my bow.”

“You’re updating so quickly, so how are you going to make those authors who actually work hard at their drawings feel?”

“Nowadays society is really getting more and more fickle and impatient, even garbage like this can actually be ranked at the top of the trolling list, no wonder Sister Feng could get famous…”

Xiao Qin turned a blind eye to all the negative comments. She interpreted them as a mediocre person’s jealousy towards her own talent.

“Every time a news report mentions an unidentified flying object, they would always say ‘cigar-shaped UFO’; since aliens can come to Earth in cigars, then why can’t they come to invade Earth in sweet potatoes?”

The problem isn’t if it’s a cigar or sweet potato, but the problem is if it even looks like a flying instrument or not. If it were really cigars and sweet potatoes, then one would have been set on fire and the other roasted when they entered the atmosphere.

The aliens would be quite optimistic if they smoked cigars and ate sweet potatoes while their asses were on fire and forced to land on earth.

At this time, Loud Mouth saw Gong CaiCai, who had just gotten her meal but had not found a seat, who was standing in the center of the cafeteria.

“Hey, over here, there’s another seat over here.”

Loud Mouth enthusiastically beckoned Gong CaiCai.

“I…”

Gong CaiCai hesitated when saw that Xiao Qin and Winnie were also there, as she was afraid that she would be bullied.

“Don’t just stand there, come over here.” Loud Mouth thought that Gong CaiCai’s contact lenses had fallen out again and she couldn’t see who was talking, so she raised her voice again.

“Cai Cai, hurry up and come, otherwise this seat is going to be taken by someone else. I don’t think you want to eat while standing.”

Actually, she only said it to scare Gong CaiCai. If I was sitting at the table, then no one from other classes would dare to sit at this table. As for people from our class, no one would fight the timid Gong CaiCai over a seat.

What Gong CaiCai lacks the most is confidence, once an embarrassing image of her being forced to eat while standing appeared in her mind, she didn’t care about Xiao Qin and Winnie anymore as she tottered towards our table.

The way Gong CaiCai carried her stainless steel tray made others worry because it looked like it could be knocked over at any second.

As a matter of fact, Gong CaiCai did knock over her tray many times in her first year. She spilled her meal all over the floor and she would cry as she begged for forgiveness from the cleaning lady.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I can’t even eat properly, I really shouldn’t have been born…”

The cleaning lady was very annoyed at the students making a mess on the floor, but when she saw Gong CaiCai’s sincere apology, she didn’t have the heart to say anything.

Later, when the class leader noticed, she made Gong CaiCai undergo a long period of “balance training”.

First, she made Gong CaiCai carry a textbook on her head and walk from one end of the classroom to the other end. Other students who didn’t know the class leader well thought that she was punishing Gong CaiCai.

I don’t know if it’s because Gong CaiCai’s hair was naturally a bit curly, which meant it had more friction, but in any case, Gong CaiCai quickly got the hang of walking with a textbook on top of her head. She also challenged putting a dictionary, a mat, and a pencil case on her head. Finally, she said happily: as long as she puts the meal tray on top of her head, then she could carry her meal back to the table without any trouble (although it would be a bit humiliating).

The class leader decided to borrow a tray from the cafeteria for Gong CaiCai to practice with. Apparently, Gong CaiCai was able to hold anything on her head, but failed once she had to hold it with two hands. The class leader had the foresight to provide elbow pads and knee pads to Gong CaiCai, otherwise she would have ended up in the hospital while falling with an empty tray.

After a period of observation, the class leader realized: there was a high chance of Gong CaiCai falling flat on the ground if she was holding something in front of her body or empty-handed. If she was carrying a bag on her back or had a heavy object on her head, it would help her maintain balance.

So it’s still because her breasts are too big! She drank too much milk in an attempt to grow taller, but it really only showed an affect on her breasts!

Gong CaiCai was very short and also very light, but was burdened with extra weight on her chest, so how could she prevent herself from losing balance and falling forward?

Xiao Qin never fell, unless it was intentional. If you say it’s a bad example because Xiao Qin practices martial arts, then what about Zhuang Ni? Zhuang Ni also never falls even if she (claims to) have leukemia.

So, people have to live within their means. If you don’t have a good balance, then don’t grow such large breasts.

The class leader, who discovered the crux of the issue, came up with a solution. She had Gong CaiCai wear pair of pants with back pockets, then she put weights (pebbles) in both pockets, and then continued the training.

It sounds a bit unbelievable, but it was both a mental and a physical issue. Gong CaiCai, who was prone to losing her balance, was helped patiently by the class leader and that’s how she finally overcame her nervousness and didn’t fall when getting food.

However, the premise is that she was holding something that was not fragile. If she was holding something fragile like porcelain, then if she gets nervous, she will repeat the same mistake, then it would make the situation worse.

At that time, as a metal-blooded lone wolf, I looked at my classmates with cold eyes as I thought: if Gong CaiCai went to visit the “national treasures of pottery, porcelain exhibition”, then she would probably get charged with treason and sentenced with life imprisonment.

Today, as usual, Gong CaiCai went through a lot of difficulties to bring the food to the table.

When she was about to reach the table, Gong CaiCai was accidentally bumped by a passing freshman and almost lost her balance. Xiao Qin, who was beside me, was ready to go. If Gong CaiCai fell, then she would spring up to catch her.

It wasn’t because Xiao Qin suddenly became a good kid who cares about the safety of her classmates, it’s that she thinks that saving Gong CaiCai from falling is a good deed and that she can receive a star from me.

Whatever the reason, Xiao Qin had already started to be “helpful” in her actions, which is exactly what I wanted to achieve with my program.

Although Gong CaiCai was slightly bumped, she was still able to walk to the table safely. She put down her tray with a sense of relief and sat down to eat.

“Did you guys know that our class leader was elected as the new prettiest girl in school?”

Winnie was always a bit behind when it came to certain things, since this already happened two days ago.

“Tsk, I can’t believe I wasn’t chosen.” Loud Mouth said as if she was serious.

Little Smart knew her gossip partner was joking and didn’t comment on it.

“Save it, if you weren’t so fat and still looked like when you were in kindergarten, that would be more like it.”

Winnie, the first one to finish her meal, put one leg on the metal bar under the table and said boldly to Loud Mouth.

Speaking of Loud Mouth’s kindergarten days, apparently she really wasn’t as fat as she was now, and there was even a rumor going around that she was a lead dancer in a toddler performance troupe.

“A few days ago I walked Zhuang Ni home at night and I found a picture of the two of you when you were in kindergarten at her house. Loud Mouth, you’ve grown ugly, you were much better looking as a child than now.”

“You’re the one who’s grown ugly.” Loud Mouth said angrily, “I just couldn’t withstand the temptation of food and grew fat.”

I only recently realized that Loud Mouth went to the same kindergarten as Zhuang Ni, so it seems that not only did they live close to each other, but they had a relationship that started from childhood.

On that day, even when Xiong YaYue kindly escorted Zhuang Ni home, Zhuang Ni probably wouldn’t have invited Xiong YaoYue into her house. The reason Xiong YaoYue had the chance to see Zhuang Ni’s family album was probably because she was seen by Zhuang Ni’s mother and received a warm welcome (Why wouldn’t Xiong YaoYue stay if there was food).

Loud Mouth is the classmate who frequents Zhuang Ni’s home the most, but the family album did not have a current picture of them together. The only photos of the two of them together were from kindergarten before Loud Mouth got fat.

Does Zhuang Ni resent Loud Mouth for getting fat? Maybe Zhuang Ni was born a lesbian and Loud Mouth was her first love.

After they graduated from kindergarten, they weren’t able to attend the same elementary school (the same elementary school Loud Mouth and the class leader attended). They finally reunited in the same class in middle school, but people change. The former beautiful kindergarten child turned into a mound of fat!

No wonder Zhuang Ni seized every opportunity to ridicule the fat on Loud Mouth’s body. The fat grew on Loud Mouth’s body, but the pain existed on Zhuang Ni’s heart!

Zhuang Ni will think that “things will only become worse”.

Even a beautiful girl will one day inevitably turn into a big fat girl with greasy fried chicken in her mouth, so Zhuang Ni fell into despair.

Alson, Zhuang Ni didn’t come to class today and called in sick, so after school, Loud Mouth once again brought the homework to Zhuang Ni, and had to once again put up with her ridicule.

Childhood bonds are really hard to break, just like me and Xiao Qin…

Share