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Noah watched the last of his Nightmare die!Her runes rang on through Diomande’s Narrative, finding every root Ammit’s hunger had grown and shaking each one to ash, and she did it slowly, one root at a time, so that Noah felt every single one of them go, and with each one he felt her note press a little further along the thread toward him.
Then she plucked the strings once more, and the low note went out through every ring of the crater at once. Inside every cultist the Nightmare had touched, a hidden Dimension uncurled and a crimson-gold rune bloomed in it, ringing, and the Nightmares there began to shake, in the Ancients first and then the Half-Unfathomables and then the Unfathomables of the inner ring, until all of them broke apart together and drifted up out of the cultists’ chests as thin grey ash, rising through the dark above the crater in a slow, silent cloud.
|THE Bleeding Nightmare in Diomande: destroyed.|
|THE Bleeding Nightmare in all infected cultists: burned out.|
|Narrative bleeding from the Covenant: ended.|
|What has already been taken remains yours.|
Fuckin hell.
Noah drew his attention back from the roots before they burned, quietly, one thread after another, and he let the soil of the Ashfall Reaches lie exactly as it had been lying, not a grain moving, not a blade of grass leaning toward the farm that had grown it.
The woman lifted her hands from Diomande’s back and plucked a single string. Around the Excedere and every living cultist in the rings, the ordinary dark uncurled into a hidden Dimension that had always been there, its edges lined with turning crimson-gold runes, and the battered Half-Unfathomables and the shaking Ancients went into it together without a sound, and it curled shut behind them. She did not take the husks. She left every one of them where it lay, grey and dry across the slopes, and she did not look at them again.
---
Only she remained. She stood at the bottom of the ruined crater in her crimson robe with her hands clasped in front of her, and she looked slowly around at the slopes and the soil and the faint grey light rising from the deep places. "Will you show yourself?" she asked, and her voice was soft and courteous, the voice of a host greeting a guest she had not invited.
Nothing answered her. The silence went on and on, and Noah held it, and she stood in the middle of it with her head tilted very slightly, listening, for a long time after anyone else would have stopped.
"No," she said at last, mildly. "Of course not. That would be rude of you, and you have been so careful with your manners until now."
She began to walk slowly across the crater, her robe moving without any wind. "Do you know what I have learned, in all my time walking through existence? The truly strong do not hide. They have no reason to, because nothing they meet is greater than they are, and so they stand where they are and let existence look at them for as long as it likes."
She stopped beside the drained red pool and looked down into it, and for a moment her serene face held something that might have been grief. "My colleagues bled here," she said. "Some of them were fools, and some of them were cruel, and some of them only joined us because their own Legacies had nothing left to offer them, and all of them bled the same color."
Then the moment was gone, and she lifted her red eyes to the slopes again. "You hid today. You reached into them from somewhere far away and you fed on them, and when I came, you went quiet in the dark."
"Perhaps you are already gone," she said, almost kindly. "Perhaps there is no one here at all, and I am speaking to soil."
She waited, and the soil did not stir, and something in the corner of her calm mouth tightened very slightly. "But I think you are listening. And because you hid today, you will hide again. Time will pass, and you will grow, and one day you will believe you are strong enough at last, and you will still hide, because hiding is what you have become."
"So be careful," she said, very gently. "Be very, very careful. Whatever you are planting, wherever you are planting it, plant it quietly."
She turned her serene face up toward the dark above the crater. "And whenever you close your eyes, hope that my face is not the thing waiting behind them."
...!
Then she was gone. Her runes went silent one string at a time, curling back down into spaces far too small to see, and the last of her note faded out of the stone and the ash until the black-gold soil showed through again. The crater was empty except for the husks she had left behind.
---
Noah sat very still on his farm for a long time with the hoe across his knees, going back over everything she had said and done. She had burned his Nightmare slowly, root by root, and she had left the dead lying where his soil could reach them, and she had grieved for her people out loud, and he did not know whether the grief was true.
She had not struck at the soil. Whether that was because she could not follow it home, or because she was content to let him grow until he was worth the harvesting, he could not tell. She was not a monster, he thought. She was a woman protecting what was hers from something that had been eating it, and that made her far more dangerous than any monster could be.
|Ordeal concluded.|
|Narrative taken in from the Covenant and Astarothael: significant.|
|Branch of Dreams: Level 6 to Level 7.|
|Branch of Nightmares: Level 6 to Level 8.|
|Branch of Shinjitsu: Level 6 to Level 7.|
|Branch of THE Unstriving Current: Level 6 to Level 7.|
|Branch of THE Narrative Wall: Level 5 to Level 6. Each wall is now worth 150.|
|Sub-Branch of THE Endless Retelling: Level 9 to Level 12. Regeneration: 18 Narrative per second.|
|Branch of THE Bleeding Nightmare: Level 5 to Level 7.|
|Sub-Branch of THE Devourer’s Hemorrhage: Level 1 to Level 4.|
|Narrative Walls: 21 of 21. Total Narrative: 3,150.|
|Bodies planted on your farm from this ordeal: 23.|
---
"Big guy," came Eckert’s voice along the thread, very quietly. "I’m still in some of the ones she took. She hasn’t noticed me yet, but even this much feels like whispering beside a sleeping fire, so I’m going silent." He paused. "And if she ever puts her hands on my back the way she put them on his, I’ll burn this thread myself before she can follow it to you."
"Mmm," Noah said quietly. He did not doubt it for a moment.
Eckert laughed, very softly. "Catastrophe and calamity, big guy. Same as always. Be careful."
"You be even more careful," Noah said. After that, the thread went still, and it stayed that way.
He hoped Eckert would not be out of his depth.
He gave the Ashfall Reaches one last look, and he gave his authority to the Fallow spreading there more freely than he had before, quietly, letting existence take what it wanted. Grass rose out of the black-gold soil, obsidian-gold stalks with stars caught in their tips, and it spread across the dark for light years without a sound.
Then he came home to a house that had not been there hours before. Lygara had built it from the great beetle of Provenance while he was busy, curved walls of dark shell and a roof of thin overlapping plates gleaming in the snow, a deep porch along the front held up by the beetle’s long legs, round windows of shell so thin that the light came through them amber, and a fringe of her own gold and silver threads hanging under the eaves.
She stood on the porch in her small winged form.
Noah followed her in, and the house was simple, a table and two chairs and a wide hearth and a shelf for nothing yet, and it was warm.
Down by the rivers, the Verdant Regard walked the banks in her apron, pressing loose soil back into place with her boots, and on the porch rail, Astarothael lay curled with her tail over her nose, pretending to sleep, while one bright eye watched him.
Noah came back out and sat down in the doorway with the hoe across his knees, and for a long while he only looked at the small blue-gold sapling at the center of the farm, its six Branches stretched out over the black-gold soil and its flowers glowing softly in the snow.
"She said the strong don’t hide," he said quietly, to no one, to the snow and the sapling and the warm house behind him. "But a seed hides in the dark before it ever becomes a tree, and no one calls the seed weak, and water always runs to the lowest place it can find, and there is nothing in existence that does not wear away before it in the end."
He watched the snow settle on the field. "The tallest tree is the first one the wind finds. Let her stand where everyone can see her."
His existence released slow waves of obsidian-gold across the farm, and existence took them in without a sound, and everything nearby settled into a deep and quiet harmony, the soil darker and the rivers brighter and the sapling’s flowers glowing warm.
"I’ll be in the ground, growing," Noah said, and after a long and heavy harvest, he breathed.
He then turned his head over the the cat on his farm and squinted with sharp eyes.
"Little Cat who overcame...well, failed to overcome. Astarothael, why dont we have a little talk?"
Astarothael did not open her other eye. She lay curled on the porch rail with her tail over her nose, and for a long moment she let him wait, because a cat who had failed to overcome still had better things to do than answer the man whose roots had dragged her into the ground. Then the eye that was already open narrowed, and she yawned, very slowly, showing small white teeth.
"A little talk?" she said. "You pierced me with roots, ate my hunger, wrapped me inside yourself, and now you want a little talk?"
She stretched one front paw out along the rail and studied it. "Bring me something good to eat first. Then perhaps I’ll remember how to speak."
Noah did not move from the doorway. "Tell me about yourself," he said mildly. "And then I’ll think about anything else."
She considered him for a while, and then she sat up, wrapped her tail neatly around her paws, and lifted her small white chin.
"I was nothing," she said, and she said it with great pride. "Less than nothing. I was born in a dead corner of a dead Dimension, a stray no bigger than this, with no name and no mother and nothing to eat but the scraps that fell off dying stars. Do you know what a dying star’s Narrative tastes like? Thin. Bitter. I ate them anyway, every one I could reach, and when there were no more stars, I ate the things that had come to eat the stars, and then the things that came to eat those."
"I never joined a Legacy," she went on, and her whiskers twitched with contempt. "Legacies are useless. They teach you to lean on someone else’s strength until you forget you ever had your own, and then one day the someone else is gone and you fall over. Every great lifeform I ever ate had a Legacy behind it, and every single one of them tasted of being held up."
She licked her paw once, delicatly. "I held myself up. Alone. And before THE First Sundering, I had grown so large that whole regions moved out of my way when I walked."
Her voice changed then, only a little, and she looked out past Noah toward the snowing dark. "So I went to THE Mountain at the Center of Everything to overcome. To be more than I had ever been, more than anything had ever been, to climb past every limit and find what was on the other side."
She was quiet for a moment. "I ate a Devourer on the way up. Ammit. It was in my path and it was very hungry, and so was I, and I won. I was so proud of that."
"Near the top," she said, "there is a place where everything you have taken asks to be put down. Every Narrative you swallowed, every Immensity you stole, every story you wore to make yourself bigger. You have to let all of it go and step forward as only yourself."
Her small face did not change. "I could not let go. I had been hungry since before I had a name, and I could not open my mouth and let a single thing fall out, and so the Mountain burned me where I stood, and pressed what was left into its stone, and kept me there."
"For Ages," she said, and she said it lightly, and it was not light at all. "Listening to it hum. Watching everything that climbed past me, watching others fail, and never once being allowed to eat any of them. And then some cultists cut their chests open and I slipped out through the hole they made, and I was free for a little while before a farmer dragged me into his field."
She glared at him. "Which is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me, and I was burned into a Mountain!"
Noah laughed, quietly, and Astarothael’s tail lashed once against the rail. Then her bright eyes narrowed, and she leaned forward a little, studying him with the look she had once given the cultists before she ate them.
"But you," she said slowly. "What exactly are you doing? I watched you in that crater, and I have watched you here. You have enough in you to bend the existence around you into whatever shape you want, and instead you are coddling it. Coaxing it. Feeding it. The fuck for? Its just existence..."
She tilted her head. "Everything I ever met that was strong enough to take, took. What are you hoping to do with this?"
Noah did not answer at once. He leaned forward out of the doorway and pressed his fingers down into the black-gold soil beside the step, sinking them in up to the knuckle, and he felt the farm under them, warm and dark and full, and the long slow pulse of existence moving beneath it.
"A farmer doesn’t make the wheat grow," he said at last. "He can’t. All he can do is break the ground, and give it water, and pull out what would choke it, and then he waits, and the soil and the rain and the sun do the rest. If he tries to pull the wheat up by its stalks to make it grow faster, he only kills it."
"The first farmers didn’t know anything," he went on, his voice quiet and even. "So they tasted everything. Every leaf and root and seed they found, they put in their own mouths to learn which ones would feed people and which ones would heal them and which ones would kill, and some of them died learning it, and the ones who lived taught everyone else. That’s what I’m doing. I’m tasting existence, and planting what I learn, and giving it back so it grows."
He looked at her with his gold and obsidian eyes. "You climbed the Mountain holding everything you’d ever taken, and it burned you for it. I’m not climbing anything. I’m in the ground. Everything I take, I give back, and the ground gives back more, and none of it was ever mine to hold in the first place."
...!
As he spoke, the farm moved with him. His body began to undulate, slowly and gently, rising and falling with the soil under his fingers and the rivers beside the field and the snowing air above it, and the farm rose and fell with him in the same long rythm, until it was impossible to tell which of them was breathing and which was being breathed. The sapling’s flowers swayed in time, the rivers ran in time, and even the snow seemed to fall in time, everything moving together in one deep and quiet harmony.
Then his eyes opened wider, and light came out of them, gold from one and obsidian from the other, two long steady beams of something that had no name except understanding. He had said the words aloud, and in saying them, he had heard them, and something in him that had been moving toward this for a long time finally arrived. His existence felt grander for it, wider and deeper and more settled, and the current he moved with seemed to run straight through the center of him now instead of around him.
|You have understood something about how you move with existence.|
|Branch of THE Unstriving Current: Level 7 to Level 8.|
|What you take, you give back. What you give back returns greater. You were never holding it.|
Astarothael said nothing at all. She sat very still on the porch rail with her tail wrapped around her paws, and she watched the light fade slowly out of his eyes, and her small white face had gone somber in a way that did not suit it.
She had known of and heard of another lifeform who had held IT and talked about existence in almost the same words, a very long time ago, before the Sundering, when she was still climbing. He had held something no one else in existence could hold, and he had talked about giving it all away. And then, one day, he had done exactly what he said, and given his own existence away so completely that there was nothing left of him anywhere, not even a shadow, and she had never understood why.
She did not say any of this aloud. She only lay back down on the rail, curled her tail over her nose, and closed both eyes for the first time since she had come up out of the ground, and the snow went on falling over the farm peacefully.