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Kono Subarashii Sekai ni Shukufuku o! (Light Novel) - Volume 10: Side Story - ‘Axel’s Number One…’
Volume 10: Side Story - ‘Axel’s Number One…’
[Note: There are some implied jokes here, which are explained in the ‘Extra Notes’ section after this]
Having slept well past noon, I sleepily walked down the stairs while sluggishly turning my head back and forth. It was then—
“Oh depraved shNEET! Eat my crimson fist and walk a righteous path in your next life!”
[Note: shNEET = sh*tty neet (クソニート)]
Megumin, who hid her right eye with one hand and took a very chuunibyou-like pose, snapped her fingers with her other hand and pointed at me.
“… I don’t know why you’re looking for a fight, but since you did it, I might as well take you on.”
“Owowowowowowow! Please stop, I apologize, so please stop!”
As I twisted the finger that was pointed at me, Megumin pleaded for mercy.
“So, what was that supposed to mean? If you cursed at me without any particular reason, I’ll use drain touch to absorb your magic power so you can’t do your ‘one day, one explosion’, alright?”
“P-P-P-P-, Please stop! Y-, Your thoughts are truly fearsome to behold. I think you’re even more devilish than Vanir!”
I don’t really understand what the big deal was with ‘being unable to use magic for one day’, but in any case, it had a great effect on Megumin.
As I released my hold on her finger, Megumin cautiously took several steps back.
“Actually, the Crimson Magic clansmen that live near Axel will occasionally gather together to talk about a variety of things.”
“…But I can’t think of any Crimson Magic clansmen that have left the village other than you and Yunyun. A bothersome clan like yours should be kept in the isolation facility called the ‘Village of Crimson Magic’ as much as possible.”
“Whose clan are you calling bothersome!? If we go for an interview with a mercenary or knight group, we’ll immediately be hired! We are Crimson Magic clansmen, who are in great demand no matter what adventurer guild we go to!”
Well, in any case, the Crimson Magic clansmen were the strongest magician organization in this world, but looking at this girl, I can’t help but suspect the truth behind that statement.
“So, what does being a part of this so-called ‘Crimson Magic clan’ have to do with cursing me?”
“Actually, in our next gathering, the Crimson Magic clansmen living nearby will have a showdown to decide who has the coolest signature phrase.”
…Were the Crimson Magic clansmen really the strongest magician group in the world?
As I showed a gaze of amazement, Megumin, who noticed that—
“What’s that look supposed to mean!? For Crimson Magic clansmen, choosing a signature phrase is an important duty. In some sense, it is like one’s dying last words, or a quote of a lifetime. Something like that.”
“So was it your plan for ‘oh depraved shNEET’ or something along those lines to be your quote of a lifetime?”
“It’s a misunderstanding. That was just me merely stating my thoughts when I saw your depraved and pathetic appearance after waking up.”
Hearing what Megumin said, I held her with an iron grip and activated ‘Drain Touch’.
“W-W-W-W-WAIT! I apologize for what I said, so take anything but my magic power!”
-One week later.
“…Hey, why do I have to accompany you?”
For some reason, I was dragged along to the signature phrase showdown between Crimson Magic clansmen.
“Why not? You have free time anyways. Didn’t you waste the entirety of yesterday pulling out the thorns of Aqua’s cactus one by one using tweezers? Today, I’ll allow you to witness my cool side. I will make sure that the household name of ‘Axel’s number one phrase-user’ falls into my hands.”
“There was a meaning behind that you know? Not only did I kill a lot of time, I even got to see Aqua, who had sneakily drank the high-class neroid that I treated with utmost care, bawling.”
“After that, Aqua kept spamming ‘Heal’ on the cactus. When I saw it this morning, it had multiplied several times in size. A grown cactus is really clever, so if you get close to it from now on, it’ll probably send thorns flying at you.”
For real?
-Although it’s already unreasonable that plants in this world are sentient, it seemed that they were able to feel anger as well.
“Hm? Kazuma-san? H-, Hey Megumin, why did you bring Kazuma-san with you!?”
The girl who was bothered by my presence, was none other than the girl who carried common sense despite being in this town.
Was this the supposed meeting place?
From the park that had been taken over by Crimson Magic clansmen, Yunyun, who noticed my presence, called out to us.
“Well met. It appeared to me that this man was quite lacking in understanding of the importance of signature phrases for us Crimson Magic clansmen, so I forcibly brought him along.”
“Stop! It’s embarrassing! I don’t really understand the importance of it either, so don’t drag an ordinary person like Kazuma-san into this!”
Noticing the commotion, and seeing me, who they haven’t met before, the other Crimson Magic clansmen seemed to be itching to introduce themselves.
From them, I could hear murmurs of ‘Dragged along? Joining at the last minute?’ and other such things.
“Geez, you’re too loud Yunyun. I never said that Kazuma was going to join, did I?”
“AHHH I’m so sorry! Kazuma-san, I’m so sorry, it’s my fault!”
Behind Yunyun, who apologized on the verge of tears, the Crimson Magic clansmen trembled in excitement as they looked at me. The seed of ‘wanting to respond to their expectations’ was borne inside me.
Signature phrase………… A cool signature phrase, huh.
“—Well then, it’s unanimously decided that Satou Kazuma, who joined at the last minute, has the coolest signature phrase!”
“Why is Kazuma number one here!? Isn’t this weird? Hey isn’t this weird!? There’s no way he could dish out such cool signature phrases like that in such a ‘bang bang bang bang’ manner!”
“The sickness that spreads through you guys is incomparable to the one that spreads in my nation. There’s no way that the chuunibyou-stained phrases left by my ancestors would ever lose.”
“One more time! Please say those things that you said just now one more time please!”
I became Axel’s number one household name.
