Published at 25th of March 2019 11:07 pm

Volume 14: Chapter 1 Divine Punishment upon this Holy Armour!

TL: Cannongerbil

Editing: Keel the Swift, Ulti, Xenthur, Yamaking

Part 1

Just the other day, a candidate for the position of a Demon King’s general, the boyband-esque fallen angel, Duke, was defeated.

As a result, the heartbroken Wiz cooped herself up inside her shop. Since then, Aqua went to console her almost every day.

Today was no different.

As we were making our way back from the magic item shop, we ran into Yunyun, who was waiting outside our mansion with a basket of gifts in her hand.

“Can you please stop blaming others for you failing the trial!?”

“Then just whose fault could it be!? I told you not to use Explosion, so why!? Why must you fire it off at the worst possible place!?”

I invited Yunyun inside and tried to ask for more details, but…

“Now, now, calm down, Yunyun. It’s unreasonable to expect a girl like her who lives like an exploding firework not to use Explosion magic. I mean, it’d be like expecting Axis Cultists to act mature and reserved. It’s just not possible.”

“W-When you put it that way, it feels like I’m the one who was in the wrong…”

“Kazuma, that example is being rude to Axis Cultists. My children are a little free-spirited, but they aren’t as bad as Megumin.”

“Right, come at me, all three of you! I’ll show you what happens when a Crimson Demon gets serious!”

— It seems that the Crimson Demon Village is currently holding a trial to determine who will become their next chief.

And Yunyun was currently running for that position.

The very same Yunyun who’s been introducing herself as the future chief of the Crimson Demons for as long as I can remember.

She went back to the Crimson Demon Village and undertook the trial, but…

“A single person can only undertake the trial three times, so after failing it twice, this is your last chance, right? I’ve actually heard about this trial before. The Dustiness house has dealt extensively with the Crimson Demon Village. The beloved armour that my house uses is a high-quality product made by the Crimson Demons.”

Darkness, who was listening attentively while sipping a cup of tea, summarized.

Placing her cup down on the table, she continued.

“The Crimson Demon’s Trial is designed to be undertaken by a team consisting of a strong vanguard and a Crimson Demon as a rearguard, or so I’ve heard… This must be some kind of fate. Megumin is already like family to me, so I’ll take care of her messes. Leave the vanguard position to me!”

“R-Really!? I’ll be able to rest easy if someone capable of using Decoy like you is my vanguard! P-Please lend me your strength!”

Yunyun broke out into a bright smile after hearing those words, to which Darkness returned with a gentle smile before raising her cup to her lips…

“Darkness, you’re just looking forward to having a chance to shine after all this time, aren’t you? I mean, all you did back during Wiz’s incident was seduce that guy.”

“Bluh!”

Darkness spat out her tea in response to my prodding.

Still…

“Say, would it be really problematic for you if you didn’t become chief? Like, your family has been the chief for generations, so if you fail this trial, they’ll disown you or something…? Becoming the chief means being the best amongst the Crimson Demons, so I guess competition would be pretty fierce…”

Ignoring the angry gaze Darkness was shooting towards me, I asked Yunyun who was looking down at her feet, but…

“No, if I have to say, most of the Crimson Demons are pretty ambivalent about the position of chief. The position ties them down and comes with a lot of responsibilities, so…”

Raising her head up, with a very serious expression on her face, she continued,

“I don’t have any traits or skills that stand out or any other special ambitions, so it’ll a problem when I introduce myself as a Crimson Demon…”

“Let’s just give up on being the chief. We’ll help you think of a new way to introduce yourself.”

“As expected of Kazuma! We’ll have this solved in five minutes!”

Hearing the exchange between Aqua and me, Yunyun frantically stood up.

“Please wait, you’ve got it wrong! That’s not all there is to it! The Crimson Demons are pretty free-spirited, so who knows what will happen if there isn’t a chief… but, as I just said, there isn’t anyone else other than me who wants to be chief badly enough to undertake the troublesome trial…”

True, it feels like they’d cause all kinds of chaos if the Crimson Demons were to be left to their own devices.

Yunyun always was pretty grounded and serious. In fact, her disposition is almost like a class rep, so if she became chief…

Just then, Megumin, who had been playing with Chomusuke on her lap, said.

“I guess there’s no choice. In that case, I shall become the chief-”

“You can’t even use advanced magic! Plus, becoming the chief means you have to go back to the village, you know!? If you’re only saying this because you think the title of chief sounds really cool, I’ll get angry!”

Apparently, knowing advanced magic is the minimum requirement to become the chief of the Crimson Demons.

“Now now, calm down you two. At the end of the day, Yunyun just needs a strong partner, right? In that case, leave it to me. I’ll show you why everyone runs to me whenever there’s a crisis!”

Megumin and the others seemed taken aback by my words.

“W-What’s wrong? Normally, Kazuma would think of this as a chore, so why are you so agreeable today?”

Megumin voiced the opinions of everyone present. Following her, Darkness, seemingly having made some kind of connection, slammed her fist against her palm.

“Oh, I know, it’s because there are a lot of beautiful girls in the Crimson Demon Village!”

“Oh, does the slutty lady with extensive knowledge of seduction techniques think I’m some kind of raging beast or something? I think I’ve been looked down upon lately. Maybe I’ll take this chance to remind you of what I can do.”

Seeing me wriggle my fingers in her direction, Darkness raised her fists with a frown but also sort of not…

“Oh, I get it now! Kazuma’s name just appeared in the newspaper a few days ago, so you intend to hole up in the Crimson Demon Village until the heat dies down, right? That Duke fellow came here to challenge Wiz after all, so I’m sure he’s worried that he might be the target of some adventurers too!”

And Aqua perfectly revealed my thought process with a sh*t-eating grin.

Just why is she only this sharp at times like this?

“T-That’s not it! Unlike the three of you who do nothing but cause trouble for me every day, Yunyun is an important friend of mine who has common sense. Of course I’d help her if she’s in trouble!”

“Wait, I think the amount of trouble we create has really gone down recently… Why are you blushing, Yunyun!? This man is just saying some superficial compliments like he usually does! You’re being way too easy right now!”

Yunyun probably latched onto to the ‘important’ and ‘friend’ bits from my speech.

“Hey, Kazuma, do you seriously intend on becoming Yunyun’s partner? The Crimson Demon Village is surrounded by nothing but strong monsters, you know? I can serve as a meatshield even if I can’t land my attacks, but you…”

“Yeah, the weak Kazuma-san would be eaten up by the monsters over there. Why don’t you stay and watch the house together with me? Let Darkness have her turn in the spotlight for once. She hasn’t really stood out much recently. There might be more follow-up interviews from the newspapers, so I kinda feel sorry to have her most recent achievement be seducing… Ouch! Hey, Darkness, I was supporting you, so why did you hit me- Ah, stop! Stop!!”

Hearing the two of them say that gave me second thoughts.

W-Well, now that I think about it, there probably wouldn’t be any adventurers who are free enough to come to this town of beginners just to challenge me…

Just when I thought that, as Darkness was driving her knuckles into Aqua’s temples, the doorbell rang, and the front door opened.

“Is Satou Kazuma-san here?”

The person standing there was one of the ladies from the guild.

“Um, a high level adventurer who travelled here from the Capital is requesting a meeting with Satou-san. If you have the time, could you join us at the guild?”

“Sorry, I’m heading over to the Crimson Demon Village right now to help an important friend of mine. I probably won’t be back for a while, so please have them come again another day.”

Everyone turned to face me after my instantaneous reply.

“Ka-Kazuma-san…!”

Ignoring Yunyun’s touched voice, I smiled at the guild lady and continued.

“So, tell this to that adventurer… ‘Satou Kazuma has left on gruelling journey for the sake of a friend. He might not make it back alive, so forget about him and go on ahead to fight the Demon King…’”

“S-Satou-san…”

Perhaps she was influenced by the atmosphere, but the guild lady’s voice seemed full of admiration as well.

I didn’t expect to suddenly head off on a journey like this, but this is way preferable than duelling a high level adventurer from the Capital.

If I leave in a cool way right now, and come back after everything’s died down…

Just then, the guild lady said to me with sparkling eyes-

“I got it! I’ll be sure to relay that to the beautiful adventurer who claimed to be a fan of Satou-san!”

“Eh?”

Part 2

The next morning.

“Is Yunyun not here yet!? I’m all done with my preparations here! We’ll blow through the Crimson Demon’s Trial in a single day!”

I already finished my preparations last night, so I was just impatiently waiting for everyone else to get ready.

It was quite early in the morning, and the sun has yet to fully rise.

“I can’t wait, Kazuma. Protecting the backline is the job of a knight, so leave the trial to me!”

Standing next to me, and as restless as I was, Darkness excitedly said to me.

“I refuse. After all, there’s a beautiful female adventurer waiting for my return. How can I not take this chance to show off?”

“D-Don’t get in my way for such a foolish reason! Come on, Kazuma, give me a chance at the spotlight too! This isn’t like you at all. Why didn’t you go meet up with that fan of yours yesterday?”

Darkness grabbed me by the shoulders and started shaking me. It seems like she really wanted a chance to shine as an adventurer, but…

“If I were to meet up with a fan on the very same day they asked, that’ll make me seem desperate and lame, wouldn’t it? It’d be best to resolve Yunyun’s issues first, then walk back into the guild saying something like ‘Well, well, this incident wasn’t that big of a deal after all…’ in a loud voice. Afterwards, I’d naturally run into the fan and everything will progress naturally.”

“W-What’s with that elaborate act? Your everyday behaviour couldn’t be any more slobbish, yet you care so much about this…”

Darkness exasperatedly said, but she can say whatever she wants.

“I need to bring back some tales for my fan, so I’m going to get a lot of accomplishments this time. You can just stay here and watch over the house.”

“N-Not a chance! The Crimson Demon’s Trial is modelled after a famous legend and requires a vanguard and rearguard working together to overcome many challenges. My admiration for that legend is what set me on the path to become an adventurer! Come on, Kazuma, chances like these rarely come by, so please grant me this!”

In the face of Darkness’s stubborn pleading, I couldn’t help but retort.

“What really set you on the path to become an adventurer is something far more perverted! Don’t think you can get away with lying now! I want to play at being a hero too!”

“T-That isn’t a lie! I won’t deny that I had my eyes set on something less upright when I became an adventurer, but I really did start admiring adventurers as a child because of those legends! And you said you wanted to play at being a hero, right!? Don’t get in my way with such a cheap motive!”

An exasperated voice called out to the both of us as we started fighting with each other.

“Do you two really want to play hero and mage so badly? I’ll play with you however long you want when you get back from the Crimson Demon Village, so behave yourself for now.”

Standing at the entrance was a sleepy looking, and lightly equipped, Megumin.

There’s a reason why Darkness and I were so obstinate about this issue.

One of the legends in this world is the tale where a girl and a guy work together to overcome numerous challenges, eventually ending with the girl becoming the queen of a country.

The twin leads of that story are the brave female mage and the taciturn male knight.

After overcoming all manner of hardships together with the male knight, the girl eventually achieved her dream of becoming a queen and wedded the knight. It’s a classic, happy story.

And it seems like the Crimson Demon’s Trial was modeled after that legend.

Still…

“Protecting Megumin doesn’t quite, how do I put it, it doesn’t have the same feeling…”

“Y-Yeah, rather than recreating a legend, it feels more like heading out on a pleasant trip…”

“Fine, then instead of playing the role of the princess, I’ll play the role of the last boss! I’ll be the evil magician that appears at the end of the first book! Now, bring it on!”

Just as Megumin started indignantly waving her staff around, a carefree, singsong voice wafted over from the yard.

Looking over, I saw Aqua watering the fields with magically conjured water.

“We’ll be going on a journey for a while, so maybe we should get someone to water the fields? Wiz is already taking care of Chomusuke and Zell, so maybe we should get her to water the fields too…”

The words died in my mouth as my gaze fell upon what was in that field.

The plant that Aqua was cheerfully watering is a seedling that resembled a palm-sized girl.

Yes, it’s the Tranquility Girl.

“Oh, yeah, I completely forgot about it with everything that’s happened, but that thing was planted on our field! Hey, Darkness, Megumin, restrain Aqua for a while, I’ll take care of this thing before we head off!”

“Wait, what are you saying!? I won’t let you do that, you cold-blooded NEET! It’s fine, if I water her with divine water provided by a goddess, she’ll definitely grow up to be a good girl!”

As I stepped closer to finish it off, Aqua hugged the Tranquility Girl protectively as she tried to appeal to me.

“No way! We don’t need another pet at our house! We already have our hands full taking care of Chomusuke and Zell and Aqua, we can’t have yet another one!”

“Please, I’m begging you! I’ll properly water her every day and take her for walks… Wait, did you just say my name as well?”

The Tranquility Girl was probably too young to understand our words yet. She cheerfully beamed at me.

… Do I really have to kill this girl?

“H-Hey, Darkness, isn’t ensuring the safety of the town the duty of the nobles? You wanted your turn at the spotlight, so I’ll let you take this.”

“N-No, you have the lowest level out of all of us despite being our leader of sorts, so you should have this.”

… …

“Don’t get attached to her just because you’ve been watering it with Aqua for a few days! Hey come on, Lady Dustiness, protect this town from monsters!”

“You sure love to shoot your mouth off. Fine, since you’re involved with this as well, here’s an order from your Lord. Take care of this Tranquility Girl… T-Tranquility Girl…”

Possibly thinking that she’s playing with her, the Tranquility Girl laughed as Darkness jabbed her finger in her direction.

Seeing that, Darkness visibly deflated.

“… How about replanting it somewhere deep in the Crimson Demon Forest where people don’t go…”

— It was almost time for us to meet up with Yunyun.

All the pets of our house apart from Aqua have been entrusted to Wiz, so we’re ready to leave at any time.

“Now all that’s left is to wait for Yunyun to show up. Knowing her, I expected that she’d show up a few hours early or something, but…”

“No, she’ll show up right at the appointed time. There was a time back in the Crimson Demon Village where she was invited by her friends to play, and ended being so excited for it that she showed up half a day early. She was later advised that coming off this strongly will scare off her friends.”

That’s being way too excited.

Then, as the bell that signified our meeting time rung, a magic circle glowed brightly in front of the mansion, and Yunyun stepped out of it.

“Yeah it’s the exact time we agreed to meet, but appearing just in time isn’t charming either!”

“E-Eh? Why are you angry at me even though I’ve just arrived!?”

Seems like Yunyun used Teleport to arrive.

As she was being scolded by Megumin, she looked around the area…

“Good morning, everyone. Please treat me… Eh, u-um, the thing Aqua-san is holding is…”

“This girl is the one who will eventually become the chief of the Crimson Demon Forest, Deadscream Bloody Mary. She’s moving to a place close to your hometown, so please treat her well.”

Looking at the potted Tranquility Girl that Aqua was holding, Yunyun leaned in for a closer look.

“That’s a Tranquility Girl, right? That name sounds like an alias, so I would like to give it a different one if possible… Come to think of it, the villagers often tell me never to get close to a Tranquility Girl for some reason…”

“Tranquility Girls are like the natural enemies of loners. Don’t let your guard down just because it’s small, okay?”

Perhaps gaining some understanding of what kind of monster a Tranquility Girl is, Yunyun smiled with expectations for a brief moment before hastily shaking her head.

“Now then, everyone, let’s be on our way. Teleport-”

A magic circle engulfed all of us and carried us off to the Crimson Demon Village-

Part 3

The Crimson Demon Village.

This is the village burdened with the responsibility of monitoring the Demon King’s castle, and spends day and night making a large variety of magic items.

“E-Eh? Yunyun? Megumin!?”

It’s the gathering spot for the world’s strongest mages, and could be said to be humanity’s greatest concentration of combat power…

“Oh crap! Megumin and Yunyun brought in outsiders! Everyone, hurry up and change!”

… …

“Wait a minute! I had to throw my Crimson Demon robe out because it got eaten by bugs! I need to buy one right away!”

“Hey, lend me that broom! I need a staff!”

“Cloak! Where’s my black cloak!? Ahh, Mom, where did you put my cloak!?”

The Crimson Demons erupted into a frenzy after we suddenly appeared in the middle of the village.

The two Crimson Demons who were watching over the entrance called out to us.

“Hey, you two, you should tell us in advance if you’re going to bring someone from outside the village with you!”

“Yeah, yeah! Everyone’s in a panic thanks to you! It’s fine if you’re walking here, but you gotta give us some advance notice if you’re arriving by teleport!”

I think I’ve seen those two somewhere before. If I recall, they are Megumin’s classmates…

“Oh, if it isn’t my classmates Sakiberi and Nerimaki. It’s been some time.”

“It’s Funifura and Dodonko! Nerimaki isn’t even here! We properly named ourselves back in Axel recently, didn’t we!?”

Yeah, it’s that pair of girls, Funifura and Dodonko.

Clad in the robes that seemed to be like a uniform for the Crimson Demons, the two of them ran up and stood in front of us as if to hide the general panic that the rest of the Crimson Demons have fallen into.

“Yo, it’s been some time. Say, if you don’t mind me asking, why is everyone in the village in such a panic?”

I greeted them and asked.

“Visitors would be really disappointed if they were to visit a village of mages only to find everyone clad in normal clothes, right? Normally, the patrolling NEETs would come and inform us of any approaching visitors, but…”

“Yeah, it’s really troubling when you suddenly teleport in like this.”

“You don’t have to change for visiting tourists like us, put that effort towards fighting the Demon King’s Army instead.”

As we were talking, the Crimson Demons who rushed back to their homes a while ago started walking around the streets again, now clad in black robes.

They tried to act as naturally as they could as they went about their business, though it’s a little irritating how they kept glancing at us out of the corners of their eye.

Just then, Aqua excitedly pointed at one of the Crimson Demons who was stirring a large cauldron in front of her house.

“Look, Kazuma! A mage is stirring a mysterious cauldron!”

Seeing a black-robed mage stirring a cauldron like that really makes you think that she must be making some kind of dangerous potion…

“Outsider young lady, it’s best to keep your distance… What I’m making right now is the forbidden…”

“It’s curry! She’s making curry, Kazuma! I can smell it from here!”

The Crimson Demon awkwardly averted her gaze at Aqua’s declaration.

“Kazuma, that girl is drawing some kind of magic circle. It seems like she’s preparing for some kind of ritual…”

Directed by Darkness’s words, I looked over to see a young Crimson Demon lady writing something on the ground while muttering to herself.

As we continued observing from afar, the magic circle slowly started glowing and flickering.

Seeing that, Aqua moved closer with interest…

“You over there, it’s dangerous to get too close! I’m about to start a forbidden ritual to break the seal of a powerful devil that’s been sealed here since ancient times… Magic has already started leaking from this magic circle. Don’t worry about me and just go. This is but a regular occurrence for us Crimson Demons. Vanquishing a simple ancient devil would be a piece of cake-”

Saying that, the lady flashed us a fleeting smile before raising her hands in a determined manner.

This village had dangerous things like evil gods and goddesses and giant weapons sealed away here in the past, but they even have something as dangerous as an ancient demon-

“Leave devils to me! With the high level Archpriest Aqua-san here, I’ll blast him away the moment he appears!”

After hearing the lady’s warning, Aqua shouted such dependable lines and jumped out.

After a short wait, she started sniffing the air.

“… This is strange, I can’t sense any sinister magic in the air at all. There isn’t any of that stench that comes with devils either, so maybe he isn’t coming out anytime soon? Ah, but it’s fine, I’m really free right now! If it’s to vanquish a devil, I’ll wait here for an entire day!”

Saying that, she sat down as if to watch over the circle.

Looking at Aqua sit down with the Tranquility Girl seedling by her side, the Crimson Demon lady started breaking out in cold sweat for some reason.

“Say, Megumin, doesn’t that lady seem a little troubled?”

“Oh, is that Soketto? I was wondering what she was doing… That magic circle is just an attraction for tourists. All it does is glow and sparkle. It’s probably the first time Soketto has seen someone react like Aqua, so I’m sure she is quite troubled.”

Why is everyone here shot in the head?

Eventually, the lady shook her head in an exaggerated manner.

“… Damn, this devil started fiercely resisting all of a sudden. It seems like he’s scared by your presence. Unfortunately, I don’t have enough mana to break through the seal… But, well, this is fine too. Thank you. The village is saved thanks to you…”

“Don’t worry, leave it to me! Hey, Kazuma, transfer my mana to this lady! If it’s for dragging a devil out here, I’ll give you as much of my divine mana as you need!”

The lady’s face suddenly stiffened.

“Right, leave it to me! If it’s to vanquish a devil, I’ll happily lend a hand!”

“As expected of Kazuma, you catch on fast! Don’t worry, my mana is inexhaustible, so you can take as much as you want!”

“Soketto-san is about to cry, so please stop!”

Part 4

After we were done teasing that lady, we parted with Yunyun and made our way to Megumin’s house.

Walking beside me, Megumin sighed as she said.

“… Seriously. That cool and strong-willed Soketto ended up almost being driven to tears. She’s the Crimson Demon’s best fortune teller. If you tease her too much, she’ll start spreading stuff about you that you don’t want revealed.”

“Sorry, she looked really pretty, so I just… Anyway, what do you mean by that? After all this time, there’s nothing I particularly need to hide, so threats like that won’t work.”

We’ve formed a really strong bond after knowing each other for so long.

After all that, there isn’t really any secrets I’d want to keep from my companions…

“Back when a NEET named Bukkoroli made her angry, she revealed stuff like when he usually takes a bath or uses the toilet, his past embarrassing incidents and fetishes, and even what he gets up to at night, and caused him to coop himself in his room for quite some time.”

“I’ll definitely apologize when I see her again.”

After my immediate response, I once again took in the sights of the Crimson Demon Village.

It seems like a peaceful village you’d see anywhere else at first glance, but there are quite a few differences that set it apart from a regular village.

Take, for instance, one of the houses that Darkness took an interest in as she passed by.

“S-Say, Megumin, what is that person doing? He seems to be directing that golem to attack a rotating pot, is that some kind of ritual or something?”

“That person is the best potter amongst the Crimson Demons. He’s rotating that pot using clay magic and shaping it with that golem. He doesn’t use his hands because they’ll get dirty, so he uses the golem instead.”

I really want him to apologize to the potters of the world.

“Hey, hey, what are those people over there doing?”

Aqua was pointing to where a group of Crimson Demons, carrying baskets filled with clothes, were gathering.

“Tornado!”

A Crimson Demon that looked like a housewife chanted, and a large tornado sprung forth in front of her.

“Create Water!”

Next, the other housewives started spraying water towards the tornado.

Once the powerful magical tornado was filled with water and stabilized-

The housewives started throwing their clothes into it one after another.

“They’re just doing laundry.”

“You people are really great at using magic for frivolous purposes.”

Just as we said that, we arrived at the edge of the village…

“…Well, this should be the right spot, but…”

To Megumin’s bewilderment, what lay in front of us was a newly built house that was fairly large even compared to the other houses in the village.

It’s similar to, but at the same time wildly different from the house we stayed at in the past.

After standing dumbstruck for a while, Megumin hesitantly approached the house and rang the doorbell.

Shortly afterwards, the pitter patter of running feet could be heard from beyond the door, followed by a voice.

“Who’s there?”

“Fufu, who do you think it is?”

Megumin was probably trying to surprise her younger sister after suddenly returning and all.

As she put on a wide smile in front of the door, a loud click could be heard from beyond it.

It seems like the door has been locked.

“Our house might look impressive, but we have no money. Please go away.”

“It’s me! Your older sister Megumin! You can tell from my voice, right!? Please open up!”

The door opened slightly in response to Megumin’s desperate cries.

From the way she peeked out through the gap in the door, it seemed like she was still wary of us.

“… I don’t have an older sister. She died in an explosion.”

“What are you saying!? I’m well alive and here in front of you! Come on!”

Komekko slammed the door shut after confirming her sister’s presence.

“My nee-chan would show her face at home after coming back so many times…”

“Ah! N-No, umm, that’s… I came back to help Yunyun with her trial, not to play around, so… Komekko, are you sulking because I ignored you? I’ll play with you a lot tonight, so please cheer up.”

Megumin put on a mollifying smile as she said that, and Komekko…

“I don’t really care about playing with nee-chan, I just wanted a souvenir.”

“You don’t actually mean that, right!? You’re just saying that because you’re pouting, right? It really hurts, so please stop!”

Sensing things at an impasse, I pulled out a gift from my backpack.

“Yo, Komekko, it’s been some time. It’s Kazuma onii-chan. Here, I’ll give you a snack.”

“Welcome home, Onii-chan.”

“Komekko! You don’t have a brother, only a sister! Please properly welcome me back!”

-After being welcomed into Megumin’s house, we looked around the newly renovated house.

“Have some tea.”

“Oh, my, thank you. You’re a pretty thoughtful girl, aren’t you, Komekko-chan?”

After receiving Komekko’s warm reception, Aqua looked down at her with a gentle expression.

“Is this a present?”

“Komekko-chan, this girl isn’t food or a gift. In the first place, you shouldn’t eat any creature that looks this much like a human.”

Komekko started drooling as she eyed the potted Tranquility Girl on the table.

“Now then, as the sister who’s been sending back money every month, I would like to learn more about this newly built house.”

“The old house went boom, so they built a new one.”

Oh, yeah, come to think of it, they said something about Megumin’s house getting destroyed before, right?

“I’ve heard about that before, but, be it the furniture or everything else about this house, they all feel like they are of far better quality than the stuff I’ve been using…”

Megumin had a complicated expression on her face as she said that.

Seeing that, Komekko, while stuffing the snacks I offered her into her mouth, said,

“Nee-chan’s a cheapskate.”

“Where did you learn such words!? It must be that damned NEET Bukkoroli, right!? I’ll definitely ask Mother and Father about this house when they get back!”

Part 5

That night.

“That’s how it is, so even though the house has been renovated, we are still broke! If you spare any thought for your mother at all, please don’t stop sending back the money!”

“I get it, so please stop pulling on my cloak! Everyone’s watching! It’s embarrassing, so please stop!”

After getting the story from her mother after she returned home, it came to light that her family took out a loan in order to rebuild the house.

“Well, it’s a good thing to have a bigger house. Ah, I’ll be in the village for a while, so Kazuma and the others will be staying here for a few days. Anyway, where’s my room?”

Megumin let out a tired sigh…

“…Eh? Umm, your room is…”

“Hey, hurry up and show your own flesh and blood daughter to her room. Otherwise I’ll stop sending money back to my cold-hearted parents.”

Yuiyui grabbed on even tighter after hearing that.

“You were living in such a gorgeous mansion, so I didn’t think you’d ever come back! There are several rooms free, so just take whichever room suits your fancy! I recommend the room at the back of the second floor! That room is wide and has thick walls, so you’ll be able to sleep together with Kazuma-san!”

“We’re obviously going to sleep in different rooms if you have the space! Don’t put your own daughter in the same room as a young man!”

Looking away from the indignant Megumin, Yuiyui affixed me with a serious gaze.

“Kazuma-san wants to have the same room as my daughter, right?”

“Of course, isn’t that obvious?”

“You’ll just make things more complicated, so please shut up!”

Megumin snapped at me after my instant answer.

“Hey, wait, didn’t you just ask me how many children I wanted the other day!?”

“That isn’t something to say in front of my parents! Anyway, that’s just talking about the future!”

Aqua beckoned Komekko away from us as we argued.

“You can’t listen to what those two are talking about, okay? I’ll fold some origami for Komekko-chan. Behold, Bomber Majin Moguninnin.”

“So cool!”

What the hell is a Bomber Majin? What’s a Moguninnin? That sounds really interesting.

As Aqua drew Komekko’s attention away, Darkness slowly started getting worked up.

“Megumin, you… ! You keep calling me Erosader and Erolady and all that, but since when did you come up with a family plan!? You closet pervert!”

“H-How rude! Who is a closet pervert!? Argh, nevermind! Kazuma, let’s go! I haven’t done my daily routine yet. We’ll just find a place to let it off.”

Probably realizing that she’d be at a disadvantage if this were to drag on, Megumin grabbed my hand and tried to leave…

“Daily routine? Darkness-san, what exactly is my daughter’s daily routine?”

“Megumin does something that drains her stamina to the point where she cannot move every day.”

“Darkness, please don’t put it in such an easily misunderstood way! That sounds like I’m doing something really obscene!”

Darkness probably still holds a grudge over being called Erosader or whatever, because…

“By the way, because of the loud noises she makes during her daily routine, it’s become somewhat of a local spectacle in Axel. Recently, people have even come to watch…”

“Just what is my daughter doing in public!?”

“Explosion magic! I’m just shooting Explosion! Darkness, if you say any more misleading things to my mother, I’ll really make you suffer later!”

To Megumin who was blushing bright red, Darkness put on a serious expression and,

“Don’t think I’ll be happy just because you say you’ll make me suffer. I don’t hate you, Megumin, but I don’t think that sort of thing should be done between women.”

“I didn’t think about making you happy at all! Did the monsters knock something loose in your brain!? Enough of this, Kazuma, let’s go… Huh? Kazuma?”

I activated my Lurk skill and snuck away before I could be dragged into anything troublesome.

Part 6

Let’s leave Megumin’s daily routine to Darkness.

Stepping out into the village at night, I found myself in front of a store that caught my interest while I was walking around the village this afternoon.

Written on the flashy pink sign hanging above the entryway were the words “Succubus Lingerie Pub.”

There exist an actual Succubus service in Axel. It wouldn’t be too surprising for there to be such stores outside of Axel too.

What really caught my interest was the Lingerie part.

There are pubs known as lingerie pubs back in Japan that only serves adults.

From what I’ve heard, it’s a place where you can get ladies in their underwear to drink with you.

I can see lewd dreams whenever I want.

But I want to get fawned over in real life from time to time too.

After all, due to the dominance of the succubus service, Axel is mostly devoid of other stores that caters to adults.

They do say that what happens on a trip stays on the trip, after all. It’s fine to cut loose every once in a while.

To be honest, I don’t really mind being away from the succubus service out here.

After all, there are a lot of beautiful girls in the Crimson Demon Village.

I feel like there’d be some people who’d criticise me for doing this even though I have Megumin, but these types of stores don’t count.

I’m just drinking with an older lady, that’s all.

Having repeated that excuse to myself multiple times, I strengthened my resolve and opened the door-

“Oh, welcome, outsider. If you’re alone, will a counter seat be fine?”

Seeing nothing but men sitting inside, I instantly knew that I’ve been tricked.

Still, I held onto a small glimmer of hope as I moved to the counter.

“Umm, is this a regular pub?”

“Ah, the most intelligent Crimson Demon thought up the name for this pub and inn. Customers from outside the village all end up asking the same question.”

… The most intelligent Crimson Demon.

“Is that person also the same one who gave the name of “mixed hot springs” to the public bath that is neither mixed nor a hot spring?”

“I’m surprised you know that. That very same person thought up the names for most of the tourist attractions in this village too.”

I really wish these people would put that intelligence and useless uses of powerful magic towards fighting the Demon King’s Army instead.

Leaving right now would be the same as admitting that I was tricked by the name, so I’ll buy a drink before getting out of here.

As I was thinking that while sipping on beer that I ordered,

“Welcome, customer. My name is Nerimaki, daughter of the owner of the number one pub in the Crimson Demon Village, and the one who will eventually become its owner! Onii-san seems to be a friend of MeguYun, so I’ll give this to you as a special service. In exchange, would you please tell me how they are getting along in Axel?”

A girl with long, black hair placed a dish I didn’t recall ordering on the counter before sitting down next to me.

If she’s referring to Megumin and Yunyun at the same time like that, she’s probably one of their classmates or something.

She’s probably interested in how her classmates are doing outside the village.

In a voice loud enough for the surrounding Crimson Demons to hear, I started talking about the achievements of those two-

“W-What did you say!? That Yunyun has a male friend!? Go on! Tell me more about what kind of people those two guy friends of hers are like!”

“One of them is a blonde delinquent. The other one could be said to have a devilish personality, or even a devil himself…”

At my words, Nerimaki shook her head and slammed on the table.

With this, Yunyun won’t be called a loner by the Crimson Demons.

I didn’t originally set out to do this, but I am looking forward to hearing Yunyun’s thanks in a few days.

“How could this happen? Where did the pure Yunyun who helped me work on my finishing pose go… ! Those two always had a yuri-like air about them, so I’m sure they would’ve clung onto each other…!”

Nerimaki seemed to be deep in thought about something as she mumbled to herself, but I clinked the ice of my glass together and continued talking for the benefit of the others present.

“By the way, I’m currently building an adult relationship with Megumin. I don’t dislike seeing yuri, but it’s a loss for humanity for two beautiful girls to get together. I intend to put my all into fighting the loss of population caused by the Demon King’s army.”

“That sounds really cool and all, but at the end of the day you’re just talking about making children.”

The moment Nerimaki shot that towards me, the pub suddenly grew noisy.

As for why, well…

{“Bro!? Is that you, bro!?”}

The second floor was an inn, right?

The thing that came down the stairs is a boisterous set of full plate that I couldn’t forget even if I wanted to.

{“It’s me! The strongest, toughest, dancing and singing Divine Relic amongst Divine Relics! Your bro, Aigis-san!”}

The holy armour that was supposed to have been taken away by Eris was standing there.

Part 7

{“What a coincidence to run into you here, bro! Could this be fate!? We might have pretty good compatibility with each other! If Kazuma-chi ends up reborn as a beautiful girl, I might let you get inside me!”}

“Who the hell is Kazuma-chi? And don’t just call me bro.”

Sitting down next to me, Aigis pointed at Nerimaki and said.

{“Ojou-san, you probably can’t make any breast milk yet, so just give me some milk that’s the same temperature as your body.”}

“Armour-san really sexually harasses everyone every night, don’t you?”

Aigis is the same as ever.

{“Sexual harassment is a demonstration of affection, Ojou-san. You want to stick your finger inside me? It’s quite warm, you know?”}

“You know the Crimson Demons are the strongest, most combative group there is, right? Picking a fight with them… You’re really amazing. There really is a fine line between bravery and stupidity.”

Probably having already gotten used to it from dealing with drunken customers, Nerimaki disinterestedly stuck a finger into Aigis’s visor.

As I was looking at such a surreal scene,

“So, what are you doing here? Didn’t you get taken away by Eris-san?”

{“Oh, yeah, listen to this, Bro! She’s outrageous! She tried to give me to a swordmaster nii-chan! And yet another intolerable pretty boy too! He got mad when I teased the girls around him, so I ran away from home!”}

Having his own equipment run away… That guy doesn’t have it easy, huh?

“Well, I get that, but why did you come to the Crimson Demon Village of all places?”

{“… The Crimson Demon Village is surrounded by nothing but strong monsters. That’s right, I gave him a trial! One to determine if he truly is a man fit for me!”}

The Chief’s trial and now this one, why does everyone here like trials so much?

“Dear customer, didn’t you say ‘Ah, the Crimson Demon Village is full of beauties just like I heard! I’ll stay here from now on!’ the other day?”

{“Now now, Ojou-chan, don’t say such things in a conversation between gentlemen. Here’s for the milk. Keep the change.”}

Aigis handed over something to Nerimaki as she handed over the glass of milk to him.

“…Are those fragments of some sort?”

{“They are pieces of my shining body. I’m made of Orichalcum, after all. You can probably make enough to buy a castle by selling me… You two are kind of scaring me here, so can you please stop looking at me like that?”}

Well, he’s a Divine Relic, after all.

He’d be easily worth more than a castle.

{“Your face is too close, bro. Here’s the body temperature milk that this ojou-chan just brought me. It’s my treat, so chug it down.”}

“Why did you order it if you can’t drink it? Anyway, will you be staying here for a while?”

{“Well, I’ll probably go to an Eris Church to meet with my master again after I’ve had my fill of playing with the beautiful ladies here… Ojou-chan, haven’t I already paid for my stay in advance? Could you please stop scraping me?”}

Nerimaki was scraping away at the side of Aigis’s head with a spoon.

With the glass of warm milk still in my hand, I said.

“Well, it’s great if you’re staying for a while. The truth is, I’m here to help someone with the trial to become the chief of this village. I might need your help at some point, so can I count on you if that happens?”

{“Well, I’ll be free anyway, so I don’t really mind, but can you please stop this girl before she scrapes all of me away?”}

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