Published at 25th of September 2023 10:38 pm

Chapter 401 Special place in Mathew's heart

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“Are you sure it was a good idea?” Nadia asked with an uncomfortable look on her face a mere moment after the youngest of Mathew’s actual wives left to do her job.

“To let her pick the system seeds?” Mathew asked for clarification. “Since she’s the one that’s supposed to lead the hunters, I thought…”

“No…” Nadia shook her head even before Mathew could finish up what he was saying. “To let her go there all on her own and then return all on her own again,” Nadia sighed. “Did you forget there are zombies and monsters that can avoid the search of the fortress?”

Mathew’s face turned still. Then, a not-so-distant memory of what Nadia was talking about appeared before his eyes.

‘I only checked for the visible presence of the zombies but not for the side effects of their passage,’ Mathew realized. ‘And what if they changed the tactics? What if, instead of covering the tracks for an entire horde they now switched to moving in small units that are impossible to notice because their footprint is just too small?’

A thousand possibilities descended on Mathew’s mind, swarming his thoughts with all sorts of worries.

“It’s a good thing she only left to gather some more cores for now,” Mathew muttered, looking in the direction the girl left before turning his eyes back to his prime wife. “Thanks for the pointer, I really didn’t think about it.”

The world of the apocalypse was like a catalyst that sped up every possible non-physical process.

Normally it would take months if not years for Mathew to grow confident in himself enough to accept advice, critique, and pointers. It was something that before the apocalypse he always took personally.

Rather than a piece of helpful advice, Mathew used to look at all those hints, points, and suggestions as mere attacks at his own belief, thought system, and lastly intelligence.

But in mere few weeks’ worths of experience of surviving in a world of zombie apocalypse allowed him to get over that insecure part of himself and accept a good word for what it was – casual advice.

“It’s no biggie,” Nadia replied with a small smile. “Do you want me to go with her or something?”

Rather than replying right away, Mathew pursed his lips and took a moment to think.

‘In theory, this isn’t a bad solution. Nadia should be able to handle all sorts of threats alone. But…’

But.

A single word that canceled out everything that went before it. Just like in many of the jokes, the speaker was not a racist or any other kind of person, but… And so followed the rest of the joke that showcased every possible characteristic of the name used at the start of the joke.

I’m not a racist but people of color…

I’m not a sexist but women…

I’m not a genocidal maniac, but they didn’t accept me into the art school and so on.

‘But I can’t risk her getting hurt if they stumble upon an enemy that would need more of us to handle!’

Surprisingly enough, Nadia was Mathew’s one oasis of peace, rest, and calm.

Sure, it was nice to be close with several girls at the same time, especially when they all knew and accepted the rest of Mathew’s relationships. It was great to be able to get intimate with all sorts of different girls, with each of them having different quirks and acting generally different when in private.

But still, with all the respect that Mathew had for the rest of his wives, Nadia still occupied a special place in his heart.

‘I didn’t save and then order around all those people just for Nadia to keep on risking her life,’ Mathew thought as he cast a long, sideways glance at the girl. ‘And in that case…’

Mathew took a deep breath. He even went as far as to close his eyes as he continued to calm himself down… or rather, swallow the guilt borne out of the decision he already made in his mind.

“Matty!” Carol called out once she returned from her harvesting run.

Mathew opened his eyes and sized the girl up and down. The sizeable bag with blood dripping from its bottom that she held in her hand proved that albeit the newbies were still learning, they were getting faster and faster at harvesting the cores.

“I will be off!” Carol shouted, already turning around on her heel and ready to depart.

The fortress was just two or three minutes worth of sprint away, so even if there were dangers lurking around… Carol was still in the perfect shape and form to take them head-on! And the worst case scenario, she could always run away from…

‘From what, exactly?’ Mathew thought, gritting his teeth right as he raised his arm.

“Carol, wait!”

‘We don’t know what lurks in this space, so I can’t let her go alone.’

That decision Mathew reached long ago.

‘But I don’t want to let Nadia alone accompany her. No, in fact, I don’t want her to accompany Carol at all!’

Even though, in theory, Mathew was weaker than his prime wife… he still couldn’t imagine a safer place for Nadia to be but by his side.

“Yes?” Carol stopped right as she was about to start running and turned around to look at Mathew, eager to find out what he had to call her for.

“Take Leila and Daria with you,” Mathew ordered while feeling a sense of guilt explode in his heart.

“Matty?” Surprised by the way things developed, Nadia stopped and asked.

She was already getting herself ready to follow along… only to learn that while Carol wouldn’t be traveling alone, it wouldn’t be her that would accompany the girl.

“We don’t know what dangers might lurk between us and the fortress, so it’s better to be safe than sorry,” Mathew called out to make sure his voice reached over the distance that separated him from Carol.

“On it!” Carol called back before turning around and dashing away, her head moving around as she scanned the surroundings in search of the two of Mathew’s wives.

“Mathew!” Nadia called again, this time her voice turning stern. “What was that all about?” she asked, pointing her hand in the direction Carol ran away to. “Wasn’t I supposed to protect her?”

The dejection in Nadia’s eyes was real.

She was the one to point out the problem and she was the one who volunteered for the job. And just like that, Mathew deprived her of the task for reasons he didn’t even bother to disclose.

It was only right for her to feel bad about the unspoken rejection. After all, she already invested herself mentally into the task!

“I’m sorry, but I cannot let you go,” Mathew revealed in a much lower voice. Even though he was out in the open, he took a step towards the girl before resting his hands on her shoulders and pulling her a little bit closer into an embrace.

“Is something wrong?”

Rather than busying herself with acting angry, Nadia quickly figured out that there had to be an important reason behind Mathew’s decision. And since she couldn’t see it, the easiest way to get her answers was to…

“You are the one and last foundation of my sanity in this crazy world,” Mathew revealed his thoughts before Nadia could even ask about them. “And you are the last person alive that I will allow to take any unnecessary risks.”

Mathew pulled back a step while keeping his hands on the girl’s shoulders. He then turned his head away, looking at how Carol’s back turned smaller and smaller with each step she ran.

“And this mission is one of those,” Mathew muttered before looking back at his first wife. “An unnecessary risk.”

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