Published at 26th of March 2019 12:26 am

Chapter 343: Curse of the FFF Inquisition

When Zhu Yao opened her eyes, she saw a familiar ceiling. It was really similar to the mass-produced straw cottage her master would make with his mystic arts. It was so simple and succinct that the ceiling was almost all the room had. Underneath her was a hard and solid bed, just that there was a little too many blankets covering her. From her estimate, there were over ten of them.

She seriously suspected if she had actually woken up because of the heat. After not being able to nudge them after a few pushes, she had no choice but to flip over and crawl out.

The door was blasted open with a bang as a white light flashed. A white figure stood tall and straight in front of the bed.

Zhu Yao’s heart that was filled with bitterness instantly leaked out. Her nose began to itch as she reach out her two arms. “Master…” I request for hugs, I request comfort.

Yu Yan frowned. After sizing her up for a moment and realizing she did not have any problems, he let out a long sigh and stepped forward to embrace his stupid disciple. “Do you feel uncomfortable in any part of your body?”

Zhu Yao turned her head and buried it into his chest. It would’ve still been fine if he didn’t ask, but the moment he did, she could barely control her emotions and felt like being childish for a moment. “I’m uncomfortable everywhere.”

The moment he heard this, Yu Yan was stunned for a moment. He habitually reached out for her wrist and inspected her meridians seriously. After thoroughly checking her body back and forth, he was then able to feel relieved.

If her master was here, it meant that this was the Divine Realm. Realmspirit was finally reliable for once.

“You were unconscious for half a year.”

“Ah!? Half a year!?” Zhu Yao was stunned for a moment. Half a year, wasn’t that the time she took to complete the previous quest? Did her dandelion avatar from before succeed in her ascension? Just that what ascended was a bare machine without any software installed? With these thoughts, she tried to circulate spiritual energy to look at her facial features, only to realize her Dantian was empty. “Why?”

Yu Yan seemed to know what she wanted to know. With a wave of his hand, a water mirror was materialized.

She looked at the reflection, and her face instantly darkened. “Isn’t this my initial looks? Could it be…” Even her hairstyle was modern. This couldn’t actually be her real body, right? The one with zero battle power? Then how the hell was she going to play around in the Divine Realm!?

Yu Yan nodded, as he combed his disciple’s short hair without a mind, the corners of his lips slowly raised. “You look… pretty good this way.”

Pretty good? She quietly lowered her head. What was pretty?

Uh, no. What her master meant was she was pretty good to recognize, right? You’re face-blind.

“Master, what is going on? Why did I return to my original body?” Logically speaking, when she returned from the modern era, her body should have been stored with Realmspirit.

“Your master isn’t sure.” Yu Yan frowned. “On that day, I waited for you at the Heavenly Door for a month, yet I didn’t see you ascend to the Higher Realm. Thereafter, I suddenly sensed your presence, only to realize that your body has returned to Lightning Divine Palace. You have only woken up today since then.”

So it was truly a bare machine that logged in first! It was no wonder her master did not look for her in the Lower Realm this time. Most likely, he was afraid that she would head back up right after he were to head down, and thus waited for her to wake up. Thinking about it, she sure had a sad story. She had after all kept her body’s purity for so many years, and when she finally managed to find love, she was tossed to foreign lands. Her heart-aching tears could even fill the Three Realms now!

“Just what happened to you?” Yu Yan hugged her even tighter.

Zhu Yao had no choice but to inform her master the matters concerning Ling Tian in detail, including how Fa Yu became a Devil. “Realmspirit mentioned that he was a citizen of the Three Realms in the first place, and even if he does succeed in becoming a Devil in the Three Realms, he won’t become a bug. I don’t exactly know what kind of plans he has in store, but I kind of feel something is off?”

Yu Yan’s expression sank. This was his nth time regretting not smashing his disciple’s heavenly book (Laptop). The reason why her disciple would court deaths in such a manner, was all because of that person.

“Oh right, master. I have something important to discuss with you.” Zhu Yao said with a stern look. “Do you think Realmspirit…”

Her words paused right in the middle, a hint of dazedness flashed across her face.

“Mn?” Yu Yan asked in doubt. “What about him?”

“He…” Zhu Yao’s mind suddenly emptied, as she wondered why she had suddenly forgotten the matters she thought about. “Eh? What did I want to inform you of again?”

Yu Yan stroked her head. “If you can’t recall it, then nevermind.”

“Ou.” Was it her imagination? Why did she feel something was off?

——————————————

Realmspirit said that it was her vacation now, so naturally, there weren’t any irritating bugs that she had to fix. She had nothing to do all of a sudden. Adding that her real body avatar had logged on, no matter what, she had do something meaningful.

For example…

“Master, do you remember the betrothal gift that you were preparing all those years ago?” Marry me, marry me, marry me!

A certain master who was presently preparing food suddenly stopped his hands. A thought quickly flashed across his face as he quietly responded. “Mn.”

“Are they prepared?” Marry me now!

Yu Yan calmly took out the dishes and placed them in front of his stupid disciple. Then, he passed her a pair of chopsticks. “Mn, I have them prepared. Two of them.”

“What, two!?” Zhu Yao leapt up in an instant, as she pounced onto her master. The hell, this old lady here hasn’t even gotten mine from you, yet you’re already thinking of scoring another one, and marrying two at one go? “Speak, who’s the mistress?” I will kill her!

Yu Yan moved away the dishes on the table and then leaned his body backwards, letting his disciple feel more comfortable throwing herself across the table. Then, he held onto her waist and carried her down from the stone table, frowning. “Eat properly.” She can’t even stay still when eating, and not to mention she’s a mortal right now.

“Eat my ass!” Her man was about to run off, how would she still have the mood to eat? “Explain. What’s with the two sets of betrothal gifts?”

He glanced at her weirdly. “One dowry, and one trousseau. Naturally, two sets.”

So it was like that, alright, I forgive you. I knew it. See, for someone who has late-stage face-blindness like master, picking me up is already a miracle. How can he possibly have sights for another woman? I must be the only one. Mn. Just thinking about it makes me a little excited.

The moment she’s excited, she would have the thoughts of doing something a little bad.

“Master, I heard that around twenty-eight years old, it’s the golden period for women. Such a coincidence! My real body is twenty-eight years old.”

“Mn.”

“Master, I heard that the stress being accumulated in modern society is rising, and the restrictions are rising too.”

“Mn.”

“Master, I heard that the Family Planning Commission just announced a new policy, and it’s even stricter than before. It’s about to be implemented too.”

“Mn?”

“Master, I heard that the birth rate in the Divine Realm is near zero, and it’s reaching new world-breaking lows every year in the Three Realms. I think that everyone has a responsibility to uphold the honour of the Divine Realm. We should change it a little.”

“Mn…”

“Master, I heard that after becoming a Deity, abilities in… ahem… certain aspects will be restricted. Such a coincidence! I’m a mortal right now, and there’s no such restrictions.”

“… Eat your meal!”

“Master, eating my meal here would be a waste of this beautiful scenery, why don’t we instead do some meaningful exercise?” Come, Little Red Riding Hood. Let this old grandma have a bite.”

“……”

“…”

“Master, I heard you like monkeys…”

Zhu Yao felt that, since they were already about to get married, then they should prepare for their life after marriage as soon as possible. For example, taking the opportunity of vacations to bear a monkey or two? Thus, she decided to use all her charms to subdue him into agreement. Even if he were to disagree, she would come up with terms to force him into agreement.

However, she never expected that a certain master did not have the slightest intentions to reject his disciple’s suggestion at all, just that he had to remind her about something in an extremely serious manner.

“Yu… Yao. You’re in your real body right now.”

“Ah!” Zhu Yao was startled for a moment. “I know.”

“Since it’s your real body, then you’re human. Only monkey demons can bear monkeys.”

“…” She actually had nothing to refute with.

Yu Yan looked at his disciple’s earnest eyes.” If you really like one, why don’t your master catch you one?”

“The hell.” Who wants you to catch one? This old lady here wants to bear kids for you! As expected, when conversing with her master, she should not even make a single detour. She directly pounced onto him and pressed against those irreproachable lips of his. With a twist of her arm, she directly pulled apart the waistband from the side of his body. Since she couldn’t converse in words, then she should express her intentions with actions.

Strangely, he was unexpectedly cooperative, just that he was stunned for a few seconds when she came pouncing at him in the beginning. After that, he actually did not resist her in the slightest, and had even hardworkingly explored the side of her body for her waistband. He pulled hers off almost at the same time as her, while his other hand began to hug onto her even tighter. Probably because men were born with natural talents in this area, even though a certain master did not have sufficient experience, he was able to take the dominant role in an instant. As expected of a genius.

With a slight shift of his body, he easily had Zhu Yao pressed beneath him.

She simply felt her eyes blurring as a ray of white light flashed past…

————————————

Late in the night.

Zhu Yao sat at the bedside. She wanted to cry, but tears weren’t falling.

Yu Yan pulled the blanket over for the person lying on the bed, as he looked at his disciple on the bedside silently.

The person lying on the bed was her! To be exact, it was her body, while the person on the bedside was her soul.

Recalling what happened earlier, Zhu Yao still could not collect all of her calm.

Just earlier, the atmosphere was perfect, with flowers in full view and moonlight shining down. The scenery was beautiful, enough to feast one’s eyes on. When she thought that the two of them could already be considered an old married couple, she could no longer hold back and bit him with an “ahm~”. The scene went from first base to second base, and then from second base to third base, and finally… a miss.

When she was just a foot away from the door, she felt her body turning light as her soul flew out… flew out… out… out!

When she regained her senses, she was already floating the air.

Was this a curse from the FFF Inquisition?

The hell, I’m to be blamed for others being single?

“Master…” I really want to cry.

Yu Yan sighed. Looking at the translucent disciple, a hint of red flashed across his face when he recalled the scene from earlier. He lightly coughed and said. “Your master doesn’t know why your soul would suddenly fly out.” His eyes swam around for a short moment before he continued. “Don’t move about, I will bring over the Floor Master.”

After saying that, his figure flashed and left. No matter how she looked at it, he seemed to have fled.

In less than fifteen minutes, he brought back a man wearing a silk robe.

“Yo, little little grand disciple, long time no see. Congratulations on recently…” Yu Jin waved at the person lying on the bed. Before he could even finish, he then saw the other Zhu Yao on the bedside and flinched. His pair of amorous eyes squinted. “Her soul flew out!”

“Floor Master…” The corner of Zhu Yao’s lips twitched. Is that supposed to be how people congratulate others?

“What happened?” And here he thought that he was invited to drink celebratory wine for their marriage.

“Her soul suddenly left her body. I used a soul escorting technique, yet I was still unable to send her back in.” Yu Yan explained.

Yu Jin frowned. He stepped forward to check the pulse of the body lying on the bed, and then reached out to tap on the soul-state Zhu Yao’s forehead with his two fingers. Yu Jin retracted his cynical smile, replaced by a slightly imposing look. He turned to look at Zhu Yao. “Your life isn’t severed, nor is your living soul scattered. There are no problems on both ends, so this shouldn’t happen… What did you do earlier?”

“Uh…” The master and disciple duo stiffened. Their eyes met, and then they silently turned their heads away. Could she say that she was moralised after being unsuccessful with a slightly immoral act? “Umm…”

“Dinner!” Yu Yan instantly interrupted his disciple’s words, and replied with a what seemed to be stern and serious look, if not for his blood red ears.

The single puppy Yu Jin naturally did not notice the two’s little erratic behaviours. The upright citizen Floor Master, with his great morals intact, asked about the dishes in detail and had even tested them personally. The entire investigation lasted till dawn, yet they were still unable to figure out the reason behind Zhu Yao’s soul flying out of her body.

“This matter is mysterious.” Yu Jin frowned. “It’s most likely just because her soul had left her body for far too long before this, and her soul has not gotten used to the body yet. We can only wait and see.”

To summarize: I don’t know either, you guys deal with it yourselves. Maybe she might even return on her own after waiting for awhile longer.

What happened to the promised upright citizen Floor Master? -Faints!-

“Oh right!” He suddenly recalled something. “I remember there’s a Soul Attracting Pearl in the palace’s treasure pavillion. For souls, it’s…”

Before he could even finish, a white figure flashed. Yu Yan had already disappeared.

The corner of Yu Jin’s lips twitched. He hadn’t said anything about lending it out yet! Where’s the most basic respect for the Floor Master?

He turned to look at Zhu Yao, and earnestly said. “I say, Jadeflower! You best not learn from your master.”

“Your sister’s Jadeflower!”

“Haah…” Great, it’s too late. She’s already been brought up bad! He wore a pained expression on his face. Suddenly, as though he had recalled something, his eyes sparkled. “Oh right, Jade… Uh, little little grand disciple, are you two really planning on getting married?”

“That’s right.” Do you have an objection?

“Hoho.” He suddenly revealed a chrysanthemum smile. “Since you two are already husband and wife, they you’re naturally no longer his disciple. Once this personal succeeding mark disappears… Are you interested in becoming Floor Master?”

He hasn’t given up yet!

“Not interested.”

“Come on, don’t decide so quickly!” He continued to persuade her. “Look, you now only possess the body of a mortal. If you wish to cultivate into a High Deity, you will need to spend a long time to do so. This cultivation path is extremely dry and bland, are you certain you don’t want to take up the role of Floor Master for some fun?”

“No need.” Zhu Yao strongly shook her head and seriously said. “I have master!” Why would I be bored?

“…” The single puppy received ten thousand damage.

The corner of Yu Jin’s lips twitched. His resentment meter shot up at high speeds, instantly breaking out of the charts. “Little little grand disciple!”

“Mn?”

“Flaunting love will only lead to fast break ups!”

“Heh, at the very least, I am able to flaunt. It’s better than only having a right hand to flaunt.”

“…” You’re heartless, alright!

“Let us discuss the problem about your soul leaving your body instead.” Yu Jin gritted his teeth and took a deep breath. He took a step forward, attempting to check on her soul’s condition once more. Just as he reached out his hand…

Suddenly, Zhu Yao’s soul suddenly shook like rippling water. Her translucent figure flashed, and in a blink of an eye, she disappeared without a trace, as though she never existed in the first place. Even the slightest bit of her presence could no longer be sensed.

Yu Jin: “…”

Suddenly, he had a bad feeling, as though he was about to be bashed up by a certain person. He wondered if it was too late for him to run?

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