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Ooni jolted awake.
Gunmetal walls, surgical tools, and the stench of dried blood; raindrops drumming hard beyond a thick metal shell and the deep heartbeat throb of a powerful engine below her feet. Empty-handed, unarmed, peeled out of her carapace; her flesh was protected by nothing but a few flimsy layers of grey cloth. Thirsty and hungry and disoriented, sore from head to toe, with a gun pointed at her face.
Ooni remembered where she was and what she had done. She swallowed her panic. She decided to stay very quiet.This was the infirmary, inside the giant armoured vehicle which belonged to her new allies. Shed woken up in much worse places than this. All her limbs were still attached. Nothing was trying to eat her. She wasnt chained to the walls.
She had betrayed everything Yola, the Dead-Heads, her oaths. All for
Leuca! she whispered.
Leuca was right in front of her, lying on one of the two narrow medical beds. She was unconscious, half naked, covered in wounds and dressings and stitches. She looked just as she did in Oonis memories, as if all the decades
Ooni caught herself. She snatched back her hand. She had to get a grip, and quickly. If she focused on Leuca she would start to weep. The rainstorm outdoors had masked the tiny sounds of her waking up, but open tears would draw attention.
And then she might not have time to be ruthless and cunning.
Ooni steadied her heart with a single deep breath, then stopped breathing, and took stock.
The others hadnt moved her in her sleep she was still crammed into the corner of the infirmary, on a fold-out metal seat attached to the wall. She wiped a thin trickle of drool off her chin. Her wrists and ankles werent bound, either. That made no sense; she had expected to wake up in chains, or locked inside some tiny prison compartment. Shed accepted that as inevitable, as part of the price for Leucas safety. Theyd even let her keep her clothes a tomb-grey t-shirt, some baggy leggings, and her cloak for extra warmth.
Why wasnt she restrained? This group couldnt possibly be as naive as Leuca had suggested, could they?
Ooni tried not to think about that. The alternative was that theyd left her free on purpose. And that was terrifying.
The infirmary was a wonder a real medical facility, well-stocked with surgical tools and sterile dressings, a pair of beds, and even running water. The room had looked pretty clean too, at least prior to the little ART doing all that surgery; now the metal floor and the beds were covered with dried blood. Ooni would gladly get down on her knees and scrub every corner, just to see it shiny and neat and hygienic again. She could have cried at the luxury. She hadnt seen anything like this since the Fortress and that was a dim memory these days.
The little zombie with the extensive bionics what was her name again, Ilyusha? had fallen asleep sitting next to the door. She was still pointing her shotgun at Ooni, but at least her finger wasnt on the trigger. An open backpack stood at her side. Five cannisters of raw nanos were inside, ripe for the taking, out in the open, unprotected. Oonis stomach clenched. Her throat bobbed. Her hands quivered. But she tore her eyes away; that shotgun muzzle was very wide and very dark.
The bulkhead hatch was open, but Ooni couldnt hear any sounds from the larger chamber beyond.
Elpida and the little ART were gone. Elpidas armoured coat lay over the foot of the empty bed.
That was very bad.
Ooni was no fool. She knew this group had not accepted her; Leuca in her beautiful but blind brilliance had betrayed them in a moment of god-spawned madness. Ilyusha wore the mark of the Wreckers and Murderers drawn right on the front of her t-shirt, and Elpida wore it daubed in blood. Only Elpidas authority protected Ooni and Leuca from execution or cannibalism.
And what if Elpida changed her mind?
Elpida was a leader, just like Yola or like Omur, or Heidelwiss, or Cece, or a dozen others Ooni had known. According to Leuca this group was young, absurdly young, a week fresh from the tomb. But that wasnt possible, it made no sense. Leuca had told her the details the kinds of details which mattered to Leucas singular brilliance. These people were mostly fresh meat, first-timers, disoriented and confused. But theyd banded together and made it out of a tomb first try! Elpida had killed a monster, outfought highly modified revenants, and led this group of nobodies and nothings to that mech out there in the crater. And now they had an armoured fighting vehicle, an ancient machine from beyond the graveworm line.
Ooni wouldnt have believed that from anyone but Leuca and maybe Leuca was mistaken, or being tricked, or forced to lie. If that was true, then this group would degenerate like all the rest. Sooner or later they would fall to self-destruction, like all others except the Dead-Heads. And they had no structures to control the orgy of feasting that would result. No beliefs, no guidance, no guardrails. Just Elpida. Just another leader. They would eat each other.
And if Leuca was wrong, if this group was more experienced, as Ooni suspected, then why had they not bound her, or eaten her?
She was either in a den of monsters or aboard a ship of fools.
Ooni started to shake; the latter she could escape, but the former she dared not contemplate, or she would panic.
Instead she finally allowed herself to look at Leuca.
This woman was the reason she needed to stay calm.
Leuca was horribly wounded, covered in bandages and gauze and stitches. She had a pair of terrible head wounds; half her neck and jaw and cheek were closed up with a mass of ugly stitching. Her fire-bright hair was dirty with blood. She looked like a corpse. Ooni prayed to gods she had long since abandoned: please dont be in a coma, please let her wake up soon.
Four subjective decades since death had parted them, since Ooni had seen that pale, freckled face, heard that crunchy, iron-hard voice, and felt the touch of hands just a little too rough and clumsy give or take a few years, of course; the dozen or so resurrections since then made it difficult for Ooni to keep track.
But Leuca had changed. Ooni always knew this was a risk. Leucas core was the same the same stubborn, cold, unbreakable willpower, the same vulnerable idealism lurking below the surface. But now it was applied to things which Ooni did not understand. Like refusal to eat.
But this was still Leuca. She must be right about the eating thing. Leuca was always right.
And shed called Ooni a fucking traitor for joining the Dead-Heads.
Leuca was always right.
So Ooni was a traitor.
To what? To Leuca? To the memory of the Fortress? To the gods?
Ooni felt a sob building in her throat. She had to stay quiet. She had to be smart, and swift, and clever, and
Leuca, she whispered. She stared at Leucas closed eyelids, her bloodstained brow, her slack lips. Leuca, its not the wounds. She sobbed once, almost a laugh. Ive seen you wounded worse than this. Remember when when you lost your left leg? O-or the the hounds, that one time at the Fortress? The third year, I think. T-that was really bad. You were in pieces. You almost died. I cried over you for a week. I fed you by hand. I fed you all the pieces of Vount, and Bea, and Patty. Do you still remember that? I forget so much about the Fortress now, but I remember everything you and I did together. B-but its not that. Leuca, I hadnt seen you in decades. Ive missed you so much. I didnt know if you even came back. I-I never meant to betray you, I was just trying to stay alive, it got so so tiring, dying. I just wanted it to stop. Im sorry. She swallowed hard. She had to control herself. She stared at Leucas dented bionic arm. Thats new. I wasnt there for that. Hw did you get it? Was it after my time? After the Fortress? After we both both died.
Ooni wiped her eyes and swept her hair out of her face. She needed clarity of mind. She needed to act. She needed to take initiative. But she was always so bad at this. The Dead-Heads had given her purpose and place for six years, and she hadnt needed to think; then Leuca had told her what to do, to sneak the hidden cannister of blue to Elpida when she was imprisoned. That had seemed insane, and it had hurt, but Ooni had done it anyway.
Then Elpida had given her orders, and the world had made more sense.
She wished Leuca was awake to give her orders.
I cant do this alone, she whispered. Leuca Leuca, please wake up and tell me what to do. Please.
Leuca didnt stir.
Ooni screwed up her eyes and pressed her face into her hands. She mustnt cry. The rain would not drown out her sobs.
Shed grown skilled at smothering her emotions among the Dead-Heads. Grown numb and empty. Weakness was unsafe. But since the moment shed seen Leuca again all her self-control had begun to break down.
She took slow, shallow, shuddering breaths.
She needed to flee, with Leuca. She didnt know where her armour or weapons had been taken; Ilyusha hadnt let her see. This armoured vehicle couldnt be that large, but the zombies had probably locked all her stuff away. She would escape empty-handed if need be, carrying nothing but Leuca. Into the city, into the ruins. They would eat mould and carrion, sleep in holes, take refuge in each others body heat; theyd done that before, they could do it again. Living as barely-human scavengers would be worth the privation, just to be together, to be alive alongside each other once more. Surely Leuca would agree? But what about the no-eating thing? And Ooni couldnt return to the Dead-Heads, not after shed helped kill two superiors.
Oh! And also not after shed tried to assassinate Yola with an improvised plasma explosive.
Ooni smiled at that memory, behind the shield of her hands.
Where had that courage come from? She needed it again now.
To escape she would need to pick up Leuca, step over Ilyusha without waking her, get past anybody out there in the crew compartment, and get this machine to open the rear airlock hatch.
Or she could tackle Ilyusha now, while she was still sleeping, wrestle the shotgun out of her hands, and
And what? Shoot her?
Ooni had pledged her allegiance to Elpida in return for a guarantee of Leucas safety. The orders had felt good. She hadnt been pretending. Escaping was one thing, that was not a betrayal. But murdering her allies was different. Then again, Ooni had pledged her allegiance to Yola too, in a much bloodier ceremony, with a great deal more gravitas. She had pledged her body and soul to the cause of the naked skull. But then her sisters were going to murder Leuca, and shed discarded her oaths without a second thought.
And then Elpida had sworn to protect Leuca.
And she had! She hadnt abandoned them, hadnt left them behind! When Leuca had attempted to sacrifice herself for the sake of these people, Elpida had sprinted to catch her.
Oonis mind went around and around: these people were fools, or they were terrifying; Elpida had saved Leuca, even after being betrayed; Ooni was unbound when she woke and what did that mean? None of this made sense. How had this group survived this long if they were this naive? It was impossible. There was something hidden here, something she wasnt seeing, and that unseen monster would eat her alive the moment her back was turned, and she and Leuca would be separated again for decades. She couldnt take that a second time. Maybe they would never reunite again. Maybe Leuca wanted to give up and stop coming back. Maybe there would be no third chance.
What if she stole the shotgun, but used it only to threaten? Would they let her and Leuca go? What if she took a hostage? Ilyusha wouldnt work for that, not with all her bionics. What about the little ART? Maybe. She seemed pretty defenceless. Ooni didnt feel that courage again, but at least this was a plan.
She finally took her hands away from her face. There was a water tap on the other side of the room; she could creep over there and drink and then
Youre awake.
Ooni jumped. Her hands scrabbled for a sidearm she didnt have.
One of the zombies was standing in the doorway the short one whod been imprisoned alongside Elpida. Ooni hadnt even heard her approach. She looked utterly harmless, petite and plump, with puppy-fat in her cheeks, her frame swamped by a tomb-grown coat. But Ooni knew better; this one had fought like a cornered fox when the Dead-Heads had taken her. She was a biter.
And now she was holding a naked combat knife.
Ooni struggled to recall the girls name. She had to memorise the names as quickly as she could. If she couldnt escape then her best shot at survival was to make them see her as a person.
Amina, Ooni whispered. She prayed shed gotten it right. Im Im Ooni. A-and yes, Im awake. Let the others sleep?
Amina chewed her bottom lip. She glanced down at Ilyusha.
Ooni whispered: Please dont wake her up.
Amina frowned at Ooni, suddenly afraid.
Ooni showed her empty hands, and quickly added: I-I think she might get angry with me, just because. Look, I dont have any weapons. Im not going to hurt you or anything, Ill sit right here, I
Illy, Amina said. Illy, I think you should wake up now. Illy, please wake up. Illy.
Ilyusha snorted, stirred, and woke up. Her red and black bionic hands tightened on her shotgun. Her crimson talons scraped on the metal floor. Her massive tail-spike tapped against the wall. She shook her head, glanced up at Amina, then over at Ooni. She blinked bleary iron-grey eyes. Her lips peeled back in a sneer.
Ami? she grunted. You okay?
Amina replied: She said I shouldnt wake you up. So I woke you up. Im sorry, Illy. I had to.
Ooni tried to explain herself. I-I thought you needed sleep, I
Shut up, reptile, Ilyusha growled. She made her shotgun go clunk, then clambered to her feet, claws scraping on the bloodstained metal floor. She stretched her tail, then coiled it over one shoulder. She cracked her neck left and right. She cradled her left arm awkwardly still injured. She kept her weapon pointed at Ooni, then turned her head slightly to address Amina: Sfine, Ami. Right choice. Dont listen to her. Wheres Elpi?
Amina said, I think she went to the front of this um house?
Tank, Ilyusha said. Really big tank.
Tank, Amina repeated carefully. Tank. Thank you, Illy. Elpida went to the front. Shes been talking to the others. I heard them.
Ooni said, May I
Shut up! Ilyusha spat. She jerked her shotgun forward. Fuck you!
Ooni kept her hands visible. Please
Ilyusha mocked her: Please, please, please. Shut the fuck up.
Amina said, She hurt Elpida really badly. When we were tied up. She stuck her hand into Elpidas tummy.
Ilyushas eyes twitched. Yeah?
Yes, Amina said. She
Ooni said: I brought her the blue! I brought her a dose of raw blue! There was no other way to get it to her without being found out! Leuca Ooni gestured with her head. Leuca told me to. It was her secret stash. We helped the Commander. We did!
Ilyusha gritted her teeth. Ami, truth?
Amina swallowed. She did. But I saw her face. She enjoyed it. Enjoyed hurting. She hates Elpida.
Ilyusha growled: Yeah?
Ooni swallowed. She dared not tell the truth she had enjoyed it, but the pleasure was a bitter medicine. Shed burned with white-hot jealousy; Leucas faith in this Elpida was blinding, clearer and more devoted than even their time at the Fortress. And Leuca had called Ooni a fucking traitor compared to this this nobody! Thisnothing! This fresh-meat filth!
But that was all gone now. Leuca was always right.
Ooni felt a sob building in her throat.
Amina said, very quietly: I think I enjoy hurting too. But Im on Elpidas side. Shes not. We should get rid of her.
Ilyusha bared her teeth in a nasty grin. She flexed her hands on the shotgun.
Ooni said quickly, Elpida told us all to get along! She told us all to get along, you both heard that! And Im I belong to her now. I do. I belong to Elpida. Shes my Commander. Just like you. We have an agreement. I havent broken it!
Ilyusha snorted and flicked her shotguns safety off. Amina lowered her eyes and looked at the knife in her fist. Ooni opened her mouth to scream.
A voice interrupted, from the compartment beyond the infirmary.
Shes right, said Elpida.
The Commander stepped out of the gloom behind Amina. The rainstorm static on the hull must have masked her approach.
The other two zombies turned to look. Amina blushed and hid her knife behind her back; Ilyusha flicked the shotguns safety back on. Elpida gave Aminas shoulder a squeeze, muttered, sheathe that, please, then stepped past her and into the infirmary. She placed a hand on Ilyushas shotgun and forced the muzzle to point at the floor.
Elpida said: Ooni is mine now. No summary executions not her, not Pira. Do you both understand?
Amina hung her head, hiding her eyes with one hand, consumed by shame. But Ilyusha peeled back her lips and snapped: Shes a fucking reptile!
Elpida said: Yes. Shes my reptile now. My responsibility. You understand, Ilyusha?
Ilyusha frowned, not quite convinced.
Elpida nodded to Ooni. Ooni, did you sleep well?
Ooni nodded back; a lie, absurd and obvious. Shed slept in a metal seat with her head against a wall. But something about Elpida commanded agreement.
Elpida said: Dont lie. Did you sleep well, or did you sleep like shit?
Ooni swallowed. Was this a test? No it was an order. I I slept like shit, yes. Im sore and stiff. My neck hurts. S-sorry for lying.
Elpida smiled. Thats better. Thank you.
Ooni flushed.
Elpida was god-like; that was the only explanation. Ooni had seen plenty of highly modified zombies get taller than her, or pack on more muscle, or exert more raw intimidation but Elpida was apparently near-pure baseline; she looked as she had in life seven feet tall, rippling with densely corded muscle, tight and toned and sleek and sharp, with the shining white hair of some god-touched seer, and purple eyes burning like spirits in the night sky. She spoke with unquestioned authority and moved like a giant cat on the hunt. She was stunningly beautiful. Right then she was also casually half-naked, topless, tits out, with just a t-shirt draped over her shoulders. She showed no trace of self-consciousness or embarrassment.
She was hunched to fit into the infirmary, the dressings on her gut wound showed a thin line of crimson stain the pain must have been incredible and her eyes were ringed with dark shadows of exhaustion. But none of that slowed her down.
Perhaps Yola was correct, maybe Elpida was superhuman; if Ooni had met Elpida in life she would have assumed this woman was the result of a coupling between a mortal and a god.
Perhaps she was. Perhaps the gods Ooni had forsaken were not quite as dead as she believed.
Elpida said, Illy, Amina, I need to talk to both of you, to keep you in the loop. We have plans to make. Lets go to the bunk room. She pointed at the bag on the floor, which contained the five cannisters of blue ambrosia. Illy, please bring that as well. Ooni, Ill be back shortly. Stay right there. Try not to wake Pira.
Ooni nodded, then quickly said, Yes, Commander.
Ilyusha grabbed the bag and shot Ooni a sneer, as if Ooni had been planning to pour all the nanos down her throat as soon as everyones backs were turned. Ooni couldnt deny the idea had crossed her mind. Ilyusha looked at Leuca with even more venom, then followed Amina and Elpida out of the infirmary and into the larger compartment. Ooni watched the trio cross the space and step through the matching door on the opposite side. They closed the hatch after them.
Ooni stayed right there in her seat. She didnt breathe. She tried to listen she heard Elpida repeat something several times, and Ilyusha protesting. But she couldnt make out any actual words over the drumming rain and the throbbing engine.
Were they discussing her?
She stood up to stretch her muscles, but she dared not cross the room to fetch herself a cup of water. What if Elpida looked to make sure Ooni was obeying? This might be the first of many tests, to see if she would attempt to escape, or do exactly as she was told.
It felt good to do as she was told. She stayed where she was.
Several minutes crawled by. Rainstorm static filled in the air. Ooni reached out and touched Leucas hand, lying on the medical bed. She was warm. That was good.
Eventually the door on the far side of the big compartment swung open again. Elpida emerged carrying one of the cannisters of blue ambrosia. Ilyusha and Amina followed her back to the infirmary. Amina was cradling Ilyushas shotgun in both arms. Ilyusha was carrying the chest plate of Oonis armour carapace and grinning.
Elpida stepped back into the infirmary, nodded to Ooni, and sat down on the empty bed. Ilyusha placed the grey-white armour chestplate next to Elpida; the front showed the Dead-Head symbol, the naked skull, still smothered behind a smear of Elpidas blood. The blood had dried and turned dark brown.
Amina hovered in the doorway. Ilyusha returned to fetch her shotgun, then made a big show of pointing it at Ooni and swishing her tail.
Elpida peered at the bloody smear on the armour. Ill need water first. Illy?
You go first, Ilyusha said. You first!
Elpida smiled and sighed. She nodded, uncapped the cannister of raw blue, and drank one large mouthful of the glowing fluid. Then she offered the cannister to Ilyusha,
Again! Ilyusha snapped. Ones not enough! You need more.
Illy, I cant monopolise this.
Ilyusha bared her teeth. Sleep or drink! Sleep or drink!
Amina spoke up too: I think Elpida should maybe maybe sleep?
Elpida sighed again. I will sleep, but not yet. We need to deal with this first.
Ilyusha snapped: Then drink! You have to go out, right? It has to be you! You have to see it yourself! Drink more!
Elpida looked like she might argue, but then she relented. She drank another large mouthful of raw nanomachines. Ilyusha finally accepted the cannister and drank a smaller dose of her own. She offered it to Amina, but Amina shook her head.
Amina said: I didnt get hurt. Not at all.
Elpida said, Youre one of us, Amina. That means you get a share.
But I didnt get hurt.
Elpida said: Then just have a sip. Just wet your lips. For me, please, Amina.
Amina looked very uncomfortable, but she stepped forward, accepted the cannister, and took a tiny sip of blue. Elpida recapped the bottle and placed it next to her on the infirmary bed. Ooni couldnt tear her eyes away from the cannister; her stomach was clenching with the hunger for meat, for raw fuel, for nanomachine replacements. Wasnt she one of them now? Didnt she get a turn too? Maybe this was the proof. Maybe this was Elpida pulling off the mask.
Ilyusha sneered at her: None for you, reptile fuck.
Elpida said, Illy. Shes one of us too or shes going to be. Shell get her turn. Just not yet. Ilyusha spat on the floor, but Elpida ignored that. Once were done here, Atyle gets some as well. Kagami and Vicky will have to wait.
Amina said, What about Melyn and Hafina?
Elpida said: Thats very sweet of you, Amina. But I dont think their bodies work the same way as ours do. Well haveto find some other way to share with them. She glanced at Ooni. Ooni. ARTs artificial humans you knew what that meant. Do they need nanomachines, like us?
Ooni shrugged. I dont I dont know. Sorry.
Elpida nodded. Right. She gestured at Pira. Shes out cold, huh?
Ooni nodded. I think so. I touched her hand. I-I hope shes not in a coma or anything.
Elpida smiled and shook her head. I saw her wake up earlier for a few seconds. Shes not in a coma.
Oonis heart flooded with relief. Oh. G-good. Thank you. Thank you.
And if shes secretly awake and listening to us, thats fine too.
Ilyusha growled: Hope she stays asleep.
Elpida said, Illy, can you bring me some water, please?
Ilyusha fetched the tin mug from the tiny counter top and filled it with water. Elpida dipped two fingers in the liquid and used it to wipe away the worst of the blood which concealed the skull. The grinning back Dead-Head symbol emerged from a bloody swamp.
Elpida said: Ooni, what is this painted on with?
Ooni tore her eyes away from the tin mug. Uh um s-some kind of tar, I think. I inherited the suit.
Elpida nodded. Are you thirsty?
Ooni swallowed. Yes. Very. Please may I have some water?
Illy, Elpida said.
Ilyusha screwed up her face. She took the tin mug and shoved it at Ooni so hard that water slopped into Oonis lap. Ooni didnt care. She grabbed the cup and drained it in three gulps, then passed it back. Ilyushas tail hung in the air for a moment, as if she was considering ramming it through the delicate bones of Oonis face. But then she turned away and stomped the two paces back to Elpidas side.
Elpida said: Better? Ooni nodded. Good. Now, Illy, we need a scraper of some kind. A cauterization pen would be even better. Maybe well need to ask Melyn if theres a tool cabinet anywhere, for a blowtorch or something like that. Check that drawer, please?
Ilyusha rummaged through the surgical equipment. Moments later she found some kind of hand-held cauterization wand, a self-powered surgical tool for closing wounds. Elpida thumbed the controls. The tip of the device glowed red-hot.
Perfect, Elpida said. Now, Ooni, you have to watch this part. Illy, make sure she does.
Slowly and methodically, Elpida drew the cauterization wand over the grinning skull on Oonis armour plate. The black paint burned away, crisping and flaking, emitting little curls of dark smoke. Tiny crackling sounds joined the static of the raindrops. The process took perhaps ten minutes. Nobody spoke. Elpida didnt look up. Ilyusha sneered and grinned the whole time, watching Ooni closely. Ooni just watched the skulls destruction.
She felt nothing. She was following Elpidas orders.
Eventually Elpida finished. She brushed away the remaining flakes of charred black. The paint was gone, but the outline of a skull was still visible against the grey.
Ilyusha spat: Fucking shit fuck bitch
Wait, Elpida said. Illy, do you still have those camo paint sticks?
Ilyusha snorted, then fished around in her pockets and produced a stick of camo paint. Elpida drew a new symbol over the shadow of the skull: a crescent intersected by a line, the mark of the Wreckers and Murderers. Ooni tried very hard not to let disgust show on her face.
But then Elpida added a second line. She turned the symbol into a crescent intersected by a V-shape. Ilyusha tilted her head and frowned.
Elpida shrugged. She indicated the V-shape. Telokopolis. Then the crescent. The world. Or maybe the sky. Or the green.
Ilyusha said, Doesnt mean that.
Elpida said, What does it mean?
Mmmmm-rrrrr. Ilyusha grumbled. Complicated.
Im just experimenting. Ill have to think about it. She raised her eyes to Ooni. Thats the easy part over with. Now, Ooni. Do you have that skull mark tattooed anywhere on your body?
Ooni felt the blood drain from her face. She stared at the cauterization wand in Elpidas hand.
Here it came. The torture. Branding? Shed never been branded.
Ooni was no stranger to pain. She was pains unwilling intimate, pains favourite chew toy, pains bed-slave. She knew pains disgusting little nooks and crannies, pains peculiar desires and visceral dislikes, pains ends and means and insides and guts and brains. Having a piece of her skin burned off was nothing. She knew what it was like to get eaten alive, to wake up with the vultures snouts all buried in your own boiling intestines; she could recall the sensation of her head cracking open, consciousness still fluttering as predators plucked out her eyeballs and pulled out her tongue; a memory of being flayed floated to the surface of her mind. She couldnt even recall when that had been. She broke out in cold sweat and struggled not to hyperventilate. Pain was coming once again; after six years with the Dead-Heads and freedom from pain, it had finally caught up with her.
She should have been used to this, should have been able to face it with ease, for Leucas sake.
She felt so weak.
Elpida smiled gently. She put down the cauterization tool. Ooni, Im not going to burn it off you. Ill use a scalpel, a sharp one. Im not trying to hurt you.
They were going to flay her.
Fuckin should, Ilyusha spat. Fucking tear it off her!
Elpida said, Illy, please. We have to do this right.
Ilyusha snorted and crossed her arms. Fuck you. Fuck you too, Elpi.
Ooni hurried to obey. Her hands were shaking. Perhaps if she didnt resist, they wouldnt take too much of her; maybe shed still be able to find a way out of this when all their backs were turned. She lifted the grey cloak from her shoulders and pulled up her t-shirt. She tried to ignore her own nudity; it didnt matter, she had to submit as quickly as possible. She exposed her own tattoo: a tiny black skull, jawless, eyes blazing with jagged stars, high up on her left pectoral.
Ilyusha spat on the floor. Her bionic tail cut the air.
Elpida said, Thats the only one?
I swear it, Ooni replied. Her voice was shaking and she couldnt stop. I-I can strip if you want to verify.
Elpida shook her head. Thats not necessary. As long as its the only one.
Ooni nodded.
Elpida said: Itll have to come off. Ooni, do you understand why?
Yes, Ooni lied. Please, I I want you to r-remove it. Yes.
Elpida sighed. She saw right through the act, didnt she? Her eyes werent even bionics. Perhaps Oonis mad assumption was correct perhaps this woman really was born of a divine coupling.
Ooni didnt care about the skull tattoo. The Dead-Heads were just another means to an end a far more reliable means than any she had yet found, the only offering of hope shed encountered since shed lost Leuca, since the Fortress had fallen, since shed learned that building anything in this afterlife was impossible. One brick could not be made to lie upon another. The Dead-Heads solution was the only way, and they kept the pain at bay, most of the time.
But Leuca had called her a traitor. So the skull had to come off.
Elpida was true to her word. Ilyusha offered to use her claws to cut off the offending symbol, but Elpida insisted on the scalpel and on performing the excision herself. She gave Ooni a piece of gauze to bite down on, then loomed over her, metal scalpel held delicately in one hand. She used her other hand to press down on the skin, to make it taut and tight, easier to cut. Ooni bit down, turned her head, and screwed her eyes shut; perhaps the pain would come now, at the moment of willing surrender; perhaps Elpida would keep cutting or perhaps she would leave the scalpel jammed into Oonis flesh, daring her to acknowledge the blade, let alone pull it out.
The operation was over in seconds. Ooni barely felt the knife. That scalpel really was as sharp as it looked
Elpida pressed a piece of gauze against a wide, shallow wound just below Oonis collar bone. Ooni. Ooni, look. Pay attention. Press down on the gauze. Thats right. Keep your hand there. Press tight. Good girl.
Ooni blushed good girl? She did as she was told; she was a good girl now. Blood soaked through the gauze and stained her fingertips. Elpida wrapped the gauze beneath a bandage, secured the bandage around Oonis shoulder, and said something about changing the dressing later on. Ooni spat out the piece of gauze shed been biting down on, then automatically licked her own blood off her fingertips.
Elpida straightened up and stepped back holding a piece of Ooni.
Elpida held the tiny flayed scrap of Oonis olive-brown skin between thumb and forefinger. The skull tattoo was pale now, no longer backed by flesh and blood. She held it up to the light and popped it into her mouth.
Elpida chewed and swallowed quickly. Ilyusha looked a little confused, but didnt complain. Amina seemed awestruck. Ooni was stunned.
Then Elpida offered Ooni the cannister of blue.
Ooni said: I-I, uh, I dont understand.
Gotta heal up that wound, said Elpida. One mouthful. If youre one of us, then drink.
Oonis hands shook as she raised the cannister to her lips. She hadnt tasted raw blue in a very long time. She whimpered when the glowing life touched her tongue. She closed her eyes and swallowed a mouthful; she felt it sliding down her throat and filling her with warmth. It took all her self-control not to pour the whole cannister into herself; her body was screaming for more. When she lowered the cannister she found tears rolling down her cheeks. The terrible hunger was fading.
She didnt understand. Why give her such precious resources? There was no way this group was really as fresh as Leuca believed but this was pure naivety. None of this made any sense.
Ooni wiped her eyes. Dont cry in front of a leader, its dangerous! What if thats what she wants? Give you hope and kindness, then take it away.
Or maybe not. Shed cried in front of Yola Yola had used that, yes, but shed kept Ooni alive. Would Elpida do the same? Would she take pity?
Ooni knew she had to say something. I uh t-thank you?
Youre welcome, Elpida replied.
Ilyusha snorted. Like you fucking deserved it, reptile fuck.
Elpida sat back down on the infirmary bed. Her eyes lingered on Leuca for a moment, watching her breathe, roving over her many wounds. Leuca had sworn to Ooni that nothing had happened between her and Elpida, that they had not shared any intimacies; in fact, theyd resolved their differences with a fistfight. But Ooni saw the deep affection in Elpidas eyes as she looked upon Leuca. Like theyd fucked. Or nearly fucked. Or wanted to fuck.
But Oonis jealousy had turned into wet ash.
Alright, Elpida said. She lifted her eyes from Leuca, and looked at Ooni. Thats the outside dealt with. Now for the inside. She indicated Ilyusha and Amina with a sideways nod. I was going to ask these two to give us the room, so you and I could talk alone. But now I think that would be a bad idea.
Ilyusha growled. Not leaving her alone with you, Elpi.
Elpida eyed Ilyusha, then nodded at the other fold-out metal seat. Ilyusha just shrugged and crossed her arms. Amina shook her head.
Ooni said: May I ?
Elpida nodded. Go ahead. You dont have to ask permission to speak.
I Im not going to hurt anyone. I swear it, on Leucas life. I dont want to hurt any of you, I just want want to be
She couldnt finish the statement. Too many lies, all knotted up together. Too much kindness, when it made no sense, repaying her fist in Elpidas gut with a gulp of raw blue. And Elpida saw through it all; those purple eyes burned through flesh and bone. She must truly be the daughter of a god.
Elpida took a deep breath and nodded. I understand. Thank you, Ooni. Now, you and I are going to have a conversation.
Okay. Okay, sure! Yes! I-Ill tell you anything you want.
Ilyusha snorted. Elpida sighed, and said: I dont want you to be afraid of me, Ooni. Im not going to hurt you, and Im not going to hurt Pira. I promised you that, I Suddenly Elpida screwed up her eyes and flicked her head sideways. Yes, yes, of course I meant it!
Everyone stared at her: Amina looked awestruck again; Ilyusha seemed to understand, surprised but not shocked; Ooni didnt know what to think. God-touched. God-stalked. Visions and voices. Why was she thinking these things again after all these years?
Because Leuca had told the truth Elpida was special. But Leuca had not understood what she was speaking of.
Elpida opened her eyes again. Sorry about that. Talking to the voices in my head, thats all. Like I was saying, I promised not to hurt you or Pira. If youre on our side, in good faith, then I wont break that promise, no matter the mistakes you make.
If you dont fuck up; if you do what I say, when I say, how I say; if you offer up your flesh and soul to my cause instead of the Dead-Heads. Ooni knew the test must be coming soon, but what form would it take? A pound of flesh? No. Leuca had sworn off eating, and Leuca had so much faith in Elpida, so that made no sense. Something worse? Were they going to throw her back to Yola, as a spy? Or worse, so much worse; Ooni could imagine so much worse. The fresh wound on her chest itched beneath the dressing. The blood was beginning to clot.
Ooni tried to keep the fear off her face. She nodded. Okay. Thank you, Commander.
Elpida smiled. You can just call me Elpida. Commander is fine, but you dont have to do that all the time.
Elpida. Okay.
Elpida said, I need intel, whatever you can share. I gather that youve been around for a long time, like Pira, so anything you know might be useful to us about the nanomachine ecosystem, or the tombs, or the graveworms, sources of nutrition, tricks we dont know yet. Anything and everything. I also need to know about the Deaths Heads. I need to understand who they are and what theyll do how they might try to follow us or get revenge on us for escaping. And, more importantly than any of those things, I need to know who you are, Ooni. I need to know about you. I want to understand why you were with the Deaths Heads.
Ooni wet her lips; she could do this. She could navigate this minefield. She had to, for Leuca. Yes, Comm Elpida. She smiled.
And, Ooni, Elpida said. Rainstorm static filled the pause.
Y-yes?
Dont lie to me.