Published at 7th of March 2022 1:22 am

Chapter 493 Hateful and Cruel Gentle?

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If Ziyuan really knew how to resent, then she, who was constantly bullied and treated unfairly by other people when she was young, would have become a cynical person already.

“I won’t tell you the reason, so please stop asking me this question in the future,” Ziyuan said quietly, “It’s reasonable for Yuan Yuan to hate me. I can understand her feelings, so don’t scold her again when you go back. Xiao Nan, remember, Yuan Yuan is the person who cares about you the most in this world. You have to love her and cherish her.”

“I know… But don’t you blame her?” I was curious what she would answer, but unfortunately, I couldn’t hear the answer I wanted.

“I don’t know…”

Just like Ziyuan said that she understood Chu Yuan’s feelings, I seemed to understand Ziyuan’s feelings at this moment. After all, because of Chu Yuan’s fault, our relationship stagnated for five years, and we suffered for five years…

“It’s my turn to ask you a question,” Ziyuan sat upright, staring into my eyes with tears in her eyes, “Five years ago, if you could reply to me, what would your answer be?”

I closed my eyes, and after a moment, I said the correct answer, “I won’t tell you. If you really want to know, just exchange it by telling all your secrets to me.”

My sly answer was only to cover up my helplessness, Ziyuan would certainly not tell me all her secrets, so I didn’t need to answer this question that would hurt her anyway.

“I knew you would say that…” Ziyuan was not surprised, but she did something that surprised me. She suddenly leaned toward me and kissed my lips gently.

I was stunned. Just when I was about to ask her why she wanted to do this, Ziyuan had already pressed her index finger on my lips. “Xiao Nan, don’t be so gentle,” she said softly, “This gentleness has already harmed at least two people, one is me and the other is Yuan Yuan… It’s really hateful!” After that, she opened the door and ran off.

I was dazed. I didn’t even know when the car had stopped.

Hateful gentleness…? It should be better than direct harm, right?

Five years ago, the question that Ziyuan wrote in the letter left me at a loss for a long time. It was a question that was still clearly engraved in my mind: Will you come to the United States to take me back to be your bride?

Innocent, yet serious. This was the real Ziyuan.

Girls’ visions of the future were always full of fantasies, but I could never have that kind of fantasy… For a student who had just graduated from high school, the United States was too far away. For a virgin who didn’t fully understand what love was, marriage was also too far away.

Although vague and obscure, there was already the word ‘responsibility’ in the concept of ‘bride’. Can I take on the responsibility of taking care of Ziyuan for the rest of her life? At that time, I was troubled by this.

At this point, if I told her that I had never liked her, then she would’ve wasted her courageous confession and five years of her time waiting for me for nothing. But if I told her that I once wanted to give her a promise, then what about Liusu? My feelings for Ziyuan would only cause harm to two women in the end, not to mention… I had no confidence in handling this feeling. Otherwise, my relationship with Mo Fei would not be so entangled.

Life is always making some funny jokes with us, so that we can learn something from those jokes. If love was not perfect, it might not be a bad thing to leave a trace of sweetness as a memory. At least, I remembered her ‘innocence’ while she remembered my ‘gentleness’… But to me, this was complete nonsense. We just forced ourselves to smile in the bitterness and reluctantly accept it.

“Sad…” The driver suddenly said this word after seeing Ziyuan running away.

I barely raised the corners of my mouth and asked, “What is sad?”

“I don’t know,” the driver looked at me in the rearview mirror and said, “Man, your face also has sadness written on it.”

I touched my stiff face and asked with an awkward smile, “Really?”

This taxi driver was really talkative, and the way he spoke was a bit like a philosopher. “What you saw on her face was what she saw on your face. You two may think that you are able to fool each other, but it is very clear to an outsider like me… Buddy, I hope you won’t mind me for talking too much. I don’t know what happened between you, but I can roughly figure out a little. Isn’t it the thing between a man and two women? Why are you so unfeeling? What’s wrong with that girl? If you two didn’t like each other, I would probably just keep silent. But clearly, you two like each other, so why do you have to refuse her? It is really a shame. Nowadays, many people are in multiple relationships, so it is really not a big deal. At worst, you just don’t let that Yuan Yuan girl find out.”

Don’t let Yuan Yuan find out… I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. This driver brother had completely misunderstood… But the word “unfeeling” he said really hurt me. Was my gentleness actually really cruel like what Ziyuan said?

When I got home, I saw Liusu, Dong Xiaoye, and Dongfang Lianren sitting silently in the living room. The table had been cleared. The moods of the three of them were obviously affected, all of them had cold faces.

I smiled and asked, “What’s the matter? What are all you doing with a cold face? Have you eaten?”

Dongfang replied, “We have…”

It was an obvious lie. It would only be strange if they still had the mood to eat after that. However, I didn’t expose it. I jokingly said, “So the food wasn’t delicious? Look at you all, each of you looks like you had food poisoning…”

“Can you be serious?” Dong Xiaoye glared at me and said irritably, but her expression was a lot more relieved. I knew they were just worried about me.

Liusu stood up and said, “Nan Nan, are you okay?”

“Why would I not be okay?” I pretended to be dumb and asked, making Liusu flustered. She asked, “Where… where is Ziyuan?”

“I sent her home.” I chuckled and said, “I didn’t expect that she is living with Min Rou now.”

“Really…” Liusu and Dong Xiaoye were a little surprised.

Liusu asked, “Is she okay?”

“Mhm.”

“Oh,” Liusu breathed a sigh of relief, and said, “Then I’m going back too. I didn’t go home yesterday. My cousin has already called me several times to urge me.”

“Okay, let me send you home.”

“No need. Sister Xiaoye will drive me. You have been busy all day, so you can rest early,” Liusu paused and said, “If you have anything to say, we can talk about it in the company tomorrow.”

I nodded. “It’s better for me to send you home. Her toes are swollen like carrots. It’s not safe.”

“Are you worried about me or are you worried about her?” Dong Xiaoye lifted up her foot and said in a huff, “Are you blind? Which of my toes looks like a carrot? It’s no longer swollen, okay? Besides, what does my swollen toes have to do with stepping on the accelerator and brake? I have to drive her home today. I’ll show you how safe it is!”

I knew Dong Xiaoye had seen through me. She knew that I was pretending to be fine, so she was worried about me… In the end, I compromised. “Okay, okay, you can drive her home. Just be careful on the road, okay?”

“I have more driving experience than you, alright? Do I need you to remind me?” Dong Xiaoye didn’t give me a bit of face, and every word she said seemed to want to pick a fight with me. However, I knew that she just didn’t know how to comfort me, so she tried to ease my mood with her usual way of communicating, but… This seemed to have an adverse effect on my mood.

There were too many girls in my flat now, my status in my place was getting lower and lower…

After I sent Liusu downstairs, she reminded me again while sitting in the car, “Nan Nan, you are not allowed to scold Yuan Yuan after you go back, do you understand? If you have anything to say to her, just talk to her. She may act like a wayward kid, but most of the time, she is still very sensible… What happened tonight, I don’t think it was Yuan Yuan’s fault.”

From Liusu’s expression, I clearly felt her jealousy and hostility toward Ziyuan. I knew she was feeling very uncomfortable in her heart, so I tried to confront her. “Don’t worry, have you ever seen me hit her and scold her before?”

Dong Xiaoye interjected, “If he dares to scold Yuan Yuan, I will definitely kick him to death!”

“Kick me to death?” I choked her back, “You didn’t learn your lesson yesterday?”

“You—” Dong Xiaoye’s face suddenly flushed.

Liusu didn’t know that Dong Xiaoye’s toes were injured by kicking me in the crotch. She always thought it was because her new shoes were too tight. So she didn’t understand our conversation and frowned. “What lesson? Nan Nan, did you bully Sister Xiaoye?”

“No, don’t listen to his nonsense. If he wants to bully me, he has to wait until he has that ability. Ahem… I mean, we should go now, otherwise, your cousin will call you again…” Dong Xiaoye started the car quickly, turned on the lights, and put the car in gear. While doing that, she also gave me a look of ‘I will deal with you later’. Then she quickly drove the car away for fear that I would tell Liusu that stupid thing she did.

Seeing this, I couldn’t help smiling and then went upstairs.

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