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Before today, I could confidently tell Nie Zun that I wanted to be with him. Would I still be able to do that after today?
I was used to being ostracized, and even if I did not want to let others down on purpose, it made me feel that I did not have to take responsibility for anyone either. Could I do that to Gaoqin Jiuye as well?
Now that I think about it, he wasn’t ignoring me the very first time I saw him in the Split Zone. He was afraid to look me in the eye.
Were we being reunited or was it only him who was meeting me again?
I had forgotten all about him. Or did I purposely forget?
It was all my fault.
Am I going to let Gaoqin Jiuye down when I’ve already let Gao Qi down?
Gaoqin Jiuye, Gaoqin Jiuye.
Were you really not afraid to lose everything just to save me?
What about Si Luo?
“I have another question for you too. From what you told me, Gaoqin Jiuye would have given everything for me. But why do my instincts tell me that he would be choosing Si Luo over me if he had to make a choice between the both of us?”
Piercer looked at me as she said, “This is where Gaoqin Jiuye’s loyalty lies. Gratitude is his priority, and you’re a close second. He places himself last. He’s grateful for all that Si Luo has done for him because Si Luo was the one who gave him hope and power. If you were in his shoes, you would place Si Luo at the top too. Also, he helped Zou An and his wife because that’s what he thought that he should have done. Gaoqin Jiuye is a very principled individual.”
I sighed. “Isn’t it difficult to sing praises of him when you hate him so?”
Piercer smiled. “I don’t exactly hate him. And I’m still rational about things.”
Nie Zun, Nie Zun. What should I do about you? Can I really abandon Gaoqin Jiuye and be with you like this?
I was the one who loved Gaoqin Jiuye, but I was also the one who forgot about Gaoqin Jiuye and the one who left him alone in this Split Zone for such a long time. He must have been so hurt whenever I looked at him with that hostile, foreign gaze.
It’s no wonder he lost control of his emotions at times…
I couldn’t stop saying that I loved Gao Qi, and I even told him that I had fallen in love with Nie Zun. How much pain must he have been in?
How could you be so cruel, Li Shen?
How could you take away somebody else’s happiness just because you refuse to recall the past?
Have you been keeping your distance from me because of this, Gaoqin Jiuye? You’d rather stay away than watch me like this?
What were you thinking when the both of us landed in that crack in space through Old Man Fan’s technique?
Why did everything seem so cruel…
With all that bitterness in me, I asked Piercer, “When do we start the training?”
“We can start now,” Piercer said.
“How do I train when I don’t have an ounce of MF in me? Are you able to help me look for my MF?”
“No, I can’t. Your MF would go down to zero for a whole month as long as you deactivate your split symbol. I’m not training you in using MF to protect yourself, but in using me to protect you. We’ll have to work together on this.
“I’ll explain it to you this way. Just like Shen Qi’s human form, I can exist as a physical entity to protect you. But we’d need to work closely together on this, be it through our gazes or bodies. Of course, the most important part of this is that our hearts and both our consciousness are able to resonate with each other. A living weapon is so called not only because of the presence of a soul in it. We can also act just like a human being and communicate.”
“How exactly do we do this?”
“It’s easy. You just need to have a chat with me.”
“Huh?” I stared open-mouthed.
Piercer smiled faintly. “Mutual understanding is gained through time spent together. You thought that training would be difficult, didn’t you? Real training is often times completed when you don’t even realize it. The effect of something that’s done on purpose would only be limited. Genuine understanding can be exchanged with a simple gaze and a simple word. It comes about when we’re at our most relaxed states. The reason I’m telling you that you have to train now is because the training is already coming to an end.”
I see.
“So it’s like how powerful individuals are usually hidden among the common crowd? The training is done under circumstances where there is no pressure and no specific goal, and that actually leads to immense strength?”
“That’s right. It’s fine even if you don’t have any MF, since you have me around. I can protect you. Also, the restriction between you and Nie Zun is made effective again after you deactivated your split symbol. He won’t let you die.”
“Oh, there’s something I’m curious about. What’s up with that restriction between us?”
Piercer sighed lightly. “Nie Zun arrived here because of you, and this is why the both of you are tied to each other like this. Nie Zun doesn’t have a soul splitter, and his split symbol is actually an extension of yours. This is why that restriction disappears when you activate your split symbol. When you activate it, the splitting key is inserted in the split symbol, and because of that, the tie between the both of you would break temporarily.”
So that’s why. Everything happened because of me still?
If I don’t want to let Gaoqin Jiuye down, what about Nie Zun? Nie Zun arrived here because of me too…
“Although Nie Zun arrived here because of you, I’m not too sure about the details. He definitely has some inextricable ties to the Split Zone, including the fact that he is a unique existence who can be cultivated as a demon. The both of you are rare cases, and that is the reason why so many others are interested in the both of you. You have to believe that no matter what, Nie Zun is the one whom you should trust and rely on the most.”
The most trustworthy and reliable one? But I wished that I was the one who was the most trustworthy and reliable for him instead.
I’ve been relying on too many people all this time, so I guess I deserve to be ostracized. I’m just a disaster who doesn’t know when to be content with what I have. What right do I have to want to be treated nicely by others?
“Also, Piercer. As for… my second personality, how much do you know about her?” I hesitated for a long time before I asked the question eventually.
Piercer looked at me with this unfathomable gaze for a long time.
“What are you thinking about?” I waved a hand in front of Piercer.
She sighed and said, “Nothing. I can’t answer this question of yours.”
Okay, another secret.
“Just call out for me if you’re ever in danger. Remember to focus your thoughts when you’re doing that. I’ll be able to protect you then.”
“How do I help you save your lover then?”
Piercer looked pained. “No need to rush that. You don’t have the ability to find him and approach him right now. I’ll assist you for now, and I’ll tell you what to do when the time comes. I trust that you’ll help me on that, so there’s no need for you to worry about it. I’ll let you know when it’s time.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
“Also, that Scorpion Ray on your left hand – it’s an incomplete living weapon. Are you aware of that?”
I continued nodding as I said, “I’ve heard about this before, but I’m not really sure about the details. Ghost King Huai Du had also expressed an interest in taking Scorpion Ray for himself. I don’t really know much about this… Hey, where’s Scorpion Ray?” I realized the insignia on my left wrist was gone as I happened to glance at my hand.
“Other living weapons wouldn’t be able to enter the space in Piercer. Your consciousness wouldn’t be able to bring their consciousness in here either.”
“Oh, I see.”
“From what I understand, Scorpion Ray isn’t considered a living weapon because it isn’t whole and it doesn’t derive its spirituality from a body of consciousness. Scorpion Ray was created with the emotions of humans and the life force of people. It isn’t really alive, but it isn’t a dead thing either.”
“I don’t understand.”
“You can look at it like a stone which is able to absorb energy from both the sun and the moon. It doesn’t have a soul on its own, but it can absorb energy from other things. Rumor has it that a complete Scorpion Ray would shine like the dazzling sun and have the brightness of the moon and that it would also be extremely powerful.
“For weapons like Piercer, though it’s still useful even if you don’t summon me, it’s difficult to wield it in circumstances where your MF has been depleted. It’s different for Scorpion Ray.
“Even if you don’t pour MF into it, it can still be used as long as you call him out. It’s like a program that can be activated in a particular way. You’ve been imbuing in him the values of loyalty and working together from the beginning, and its spirituality would only allow it to recognize that particular value of loyalty. It isn’t able to consider other factors apart from that.”
“Then where’s the other half of Scorpion Ray?”
“I don’t know about that though. You might have to ask the person who gave Scorpion Ray to you.”
“Ask Li Qing…”
“Oh, there’s something else I wanted to tell you. Li Qing isn’t an heir.”
My eyes widened in shock. “What did you say…”
Piercer looked at me with sadness. “I can tell the difference between soul splitters and heirs because I’m a living weapon. Li Qing isn’t an heir, she’s a soul splitter.”
That was one huge secret. It was also a huge blow.
“I forgot to inform you of this before.”
“No, it’s impossible. How could she be a soul splitter?”
Piercer sighed heavily. “I know it’s difficult to accept this, but it’s the truth. Li Qing isn’t an heir. I’m very sure of that. Calculating based on her age, she has been in the Split Zone for a very long time. I suspect that she’d know more or less everything about the Split Zone.”
“Why did she take on the role of Western District Commander then? She had always protected us.”
“That’s because Li Qing is different from the other soul splitters. She’s somebody who believes strongly in her principles of right and wrong. From what I’ve seen, even though she isn’t an heir, you guys have always been her top priority. She was always trying to protect you guys.
“Ah Shen, you have to know that everyone has their secrets. It’s just something inevitable.”