Published at 5th of April 2019 7:02 am

Volume 5, Chapter 319 Sorry, Ta Lai

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Du Yue finally made her way to Ta Lai just as Piercer finished speaking.

Sparks of joy appeared in Cang Ming’s eyes. “You’re really willing to return the part of her personality?”

Piercer shot him a cold look. “I’m not doing this out of pity for you, it’s out of pity for her. No matter what, her experiences have been very similar to that of Ah Shen’s. Though I’m still ashamed for all of you because of your greed at that time, there’s no longer any need for me to hold that grudge, and there’s no need for you guys to make things difficult for Ah Shen here. I can return it, but you have to take her away and never appear in front of me and Ah Shen ever again. Go live your own lives and don’t let me see you guys again.”

Though her words sounded rather harsh, it was obvious that Piercer had the intention to help the two of them.

I heaved an inward sigh. Wasn’t Piercer an innocent bystander too? Even as an innocent party, she still chose to forgive even after being turned into a living weapon. She might speak harshly, but there was still humanity in her heart.

Cang Ming nodded. “Okay, I’ll take her away and never appear in front of you guys again if you’re willing to return her personality. I will never attack your owner again, and I will not help any others in their fight to acquire her personality either.”

I should be relieved at this, since Piercer had actually helped to cut down the number of enemies I had. But would I really not see the two of them ever again? I wasn’t familiar with them, but why did I want to be able to meet them again so badly?

I wanted to see for myself if Bian Ying’s choice was the right one. I wanted to see if they would really be able to live happily ever after.

If I could witness it, does it mean that I should have more confidence in you too, Nie Zun? My eyes shifted to Nie Zun and I caught him glancing at me at the same time.

I already knew the answer to the question when I heard what Bian Ying said earlier.

Why did I fall in love with you? Why do I love you? The answer was a simple one. It’s for company.

Whether it was the two years you had spent with me, or the moral support you have given me when you were by my side, it had slowly turned into a habit. Even though we’re separated now and you won’t be restricted when I activate my split symbol, I’m already addicted to you and I can’t pull myself out of it.

It isn’t love at first sight and I don’t believe that love is without reason, since there isn’t anything that doesn’t have a reason in this world.

There’s a reason to why I love you. It’s because of company. It’s the company you provided every day in those days that seemed to have lasted forever, when I was still unsure if I was actually a human being.

It’s only until I lost you and I returned to living on my own did I realize that it was so difficult to keep somebody else company. It was easier said than done.

If someone could do that, he would be your true love.

I was too lonely, and I believe that many others are too.

The best part of this was that there would be somebody there by your side whether you were upset, happy, or if you were going through a painful time.

You being by my side was the best gift from the heavens after I arrived in the Split Zone. During that time, it made me realize that I had a right to love, that people were still willing to stand by me even if I was a freak that was unaccepted by others.

I won’t ever let you go as long as you still loved me.

I don’t believe it even if you say you don’t love me now. I’m not overthinking things because I can see it in your eyes.

Those weren’t eyes that did not love me.

Those were eyes which could not love me.

It’s okay. I’m confident that you’ll return to me someday. I’ll definitely make you return to me.

Nie Zun and I kept our eyes on each other. I couldn’t really see through him, but I knew that he’d understand what I was trying to tell him just by looking into my eyes.

For two years, we had spent every day together. There’d definitely be some sort of telepathy there.

I smiled to myself at the thought.

“You can’t take her with you.”

Ta Lai spoke after seeing Cang Ming and Piercer reach an agreement. Instead of that usual confidence and steadfastness, his voice was actually trembling a little.

Du Yue was biting her lip.

The fight between Feng Zhu and Si Luo did not pause because of everything else that was happening. Though Ta Lai had spoken earlier, his MF was still focused around his body. With his assistance, those flames that were above Feng Zhu’s head burnt brighter.

Oh, Ta Lai, don’t you understand that when it comes to being loyal to your ruler and your love for Bian Ying, you can only choose one of the two?

This is because the world simply doesn’t accept those who are too greedy.

Bian Ying turned to look at Ta Lai in that frail figure of hers. The profile of her figure looked beautiful. Her eyes carried a sort of other-worldly sorrow, but they were extremely clear and they looked resolute.

Looking at her, I knew she wouldn’t be turning back on her decision. She was sure of her choice, and Cang Ming was the one she chose.

My heart felt all warm as I realized that. I supported her decision whole-heartedly as well.

Among all of those bloodthirsty looks I’ve seen on Cang Ming, what’s left in his eyes were nothing but the love for Bian Ying.

It was a love that will never change.

Cang Ming was wild, but he was also a lonely person. He gave others the impression that he would never do anything for anyone because of that arrogant air around him and how much of a nomad he seemed to be, but he was willing to give everything up for Bian Ying alone.

Whenever he looked at Bian Ying, his eyes seemed to say ‘Even if the entire world doesn’t accept you, I’ll be right there behind you. I’m willing to kill and destroy the entire world for you.’

Being this doggedly tenacious and wanting to lord over them isn’t enough. True love is about sacrifice, and it isn’t about having someone all to yourself.

It’s a kind of logic that didn’t need explaining.

That love returned to him when Cang Ming learnt how to give himself up for Bian Ying; when he learnt how to let go for it.

But just when he was finally ready to walk away, Bian Ying confessed that she loved only him.

I was happy for the couple, but I also felt sorry for Ta Lai.

Though Ta Lai had done many things I never want to forgive him for, and his relationship with Du Yue made it worse when there are things I’ve been holding a grudge against him for, I did actually treat him as a friend before.

It was because of that training space where Nie Zun and I were unable to use four of our senses that made me realize Nie Zun’s love for me and how far he would go to protect me. His training had also made me realize that Li Qing had been really kind to me.

He had helped me find a part of my heart.

Bian Ying looked at Ta Lai with eyes that were resolute but full of emotion at the same time. I could see her feelings come through them, but I knew those were the very last bits of affection she would look at Ta Lai with.

Cang Ming probably knew that too as he turned away. This was the first time he did not stop Bian Ying from doing something like that.

Bian Ying continued watching Ta Lai with that torturous gaze.

It was the last goodbye from her.

Everything that had happened before has come to naught, and everything that happens in the future will have nothing to do with you from now on.

Du Yue broke the silence. “You’re not merely cruel. If I had known, I’d have killed you instead of making you fall unconscious. You can see how others are kind to you, but can’t you see that he’s been waiting for you and all that effort he had put in to get you back? He was such an upright person who didn’t want to be dirtied in any way. But because of you, he was willing to go through hell and do horrible things that you guys find shameful. He was fine with all that because he thought he’d be able to find you again.”

Du Yue then pointed a shaking finger at me as she continued. “Also her. Do you think he wants to destroy the lives of others? Do you really think he wants to work on all those experiments that made him uncomfortable in his sleep? He did it all for you. Did you think that it’s because of the company that you fell in love with Cang Ming? How about Ta Lai? Ta Lai isn’t by your side, but he does everything in order to have you by his side. Isn’t that company too? Is it only considered love when someone stays by your side? It isn’t love when someone stands behind you?”

I was shaken by what she said.

Was Du Yue wrong?

A flash of red appeared beside me. A smile hung on her face as she said, “She’s not wrong. It’s just like how Gaoqin Jiuye was behind you doing everything for you even when you couldn’t see him. Is that not considered love? But why did you still fall in love with Nie Zun? Is your theory wrong, Shen’er?”

Was I wrong? My gaze darkened as I thought about this.

I might have been wrong, but I was just an ordinary human being. Nie Zun’s company was what I felt first.

I was still unable to recall all the times spent with Gaoqin Jiuye. If that was my fault, then I was willing to repay him for that debt.

But love is something that was persistent, and it isn’t easy to change love.

It’s not a matter of whether Nie Zun treated me well or not, and it’s not about whether I met him earlier or later.

It’s just that I love him at this point, and I had fallen in love with him. It’s a truth that cannot be altered.

Isn’t love just blind like this?

Is getting repaid for all the effort you put in actually considered love?

No, it isn’t.

Love has always been selfish and ugly.

“I’m sorry, Ta Lai,” Bian Ying finally said after looking at him for a long time.

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