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“If you think about Mariel, you’ll behave properly.”
“You should know what choices you should make for your family.”
Philip’s frequent threats circled her ears.
She hadn’t eaten a single thing, yet she felt like vomiting. The sound of servants talking seemed distant as if it were ringing in her ears; the talking would fade, then grow louder again.
Asella felt like she was about to lose consciousness and bit into her the thin flesh of her lower lip. The iron scent that trickled in her mouth seemed to clear her head.
For the longest time, she thought she could stand this much, and she thought it was okay.
“Ugh!”
Someone pricked her with a needle deliberately on her back, where her fresh wound was still bleeding. She applied some medicine and bandaged the wound with a layer of dry cloth but that was it.
A stinging sensation on the top of her head emerged as her body hair stood up. Her face distorted momentarily. However, she quickly got used to it. She hid her pain behind an expressionless face, then straightened her position and looked ahead.
“…”
She was a Chartus, even if her name was only for appearances.
A glorious name that had been around since the Empire was founded and handed down from one generation to the next.
Regardless of her current circumstances, she was educated to be the successor of this family when Adele was still alive. As time passed, that name weathered, but there were still some things that were deep-rooted and settled in her heart.
‘To live up to the name of Chartus and never bring shame to it.’
Things like pride and affection for the lineage had been imprinted deep into her bones since birth. Asella applied a faint pressure to her lips as it trembled in pain.
She could withstand the throbbing headache and the sharp pain in her back, and she thought, ‘Her prolonged silence was to blame.’
If she were to open her mouth, a scream she buried so deep inside her would come out without her noticing.
“You’re holding it in, My Lady.”
As she watched Asella’s reaction with curiosity, the maid leaned forward and boldly whispered.
“You should. It’s for the Chartus family.”
It was the only thing she could do for the house her mother had left her.
A marriage with a man she never talked to before.
“You should gladly accept this proposal.”
With a knife into her back, a gentle voice spoke, as if soothing a child.
The deep scar in her heart was torn open again, and red fluid flowed from the crack.
“If it doesn’t work out this well, what will the deceased Marchioness think of you?”
It was a brutal remark.
Her heart, which she had thought would not react to any situation she encountered from now on, ached again. Surrounded by dozens of people, she squeezed her eyes shut, feeling her heart palpitate.
“You should be grateful that you can do anything to help the family, My Lady.”
The servants of the mansion were well versed in how to handle Asella, thanks to Philip’s treatment towards her.
Whenever he brought up the subject of the previous Marchioness, Asella could not answer him properly. Not even once. The servants who watched him began to use this method themselves every time they needed to.
It was a strategy that worked very well at all times.
“You have to think about Miss Mariel too.”
Mariel.
The poor child was still very young. Even the insignificant protection Asella could provide was desperately needed.
“Turn your body this way, My Lady.”
Asella moved her feet quietly. The small gesture she made, mixed with the feeling of resignation, was almost mechanical.
Even though she was moving on her own, it definitely felt unreal, like it wasn’t her body at all. Her vision was dizzy and things seemed blurry.
But she endured because she had to endure.
“Well, it’s done. It’s so beautiful.”
The maid looked at Asella from top to bottom, as if she was inspecting her work. She nodded her head with a satisfied smile on her face.
“Now, sit on the sofa as carefully as possible”.
“Try not to move once you’ve sat down or you might destroy all the stitching we’ve worked hard on.”
“You don’t want to look ugly either, do you?”
The maids skilfully covered up the stitches. Asella just followed without saying a word. There were some things in this world that you know but could not avoid. Also, some things you could not resist.
Sometimes, Asella felt distant whenever she recalled the past. Whenever she thought of her mother or her little sibling, whom she hadn’t seen in years, she felt as if her feet were stuck in the sandy desert. It could be a little dull because of the windstorm of time, but it seemed that some things never change.
“Sir Kadan will be here soon, but I know you’ll do well, right? It’s for the good of the family.”
“And the good of Lady Mariel as well.”
Asella nodded slowly.
No matter how hard she struggled, the reality remained the same. After dozens or hundreds of attempts and pain, she realized the fact that…
… it would not change anyway.
Asella closed her eyes and prepared for the upcoming humiliation.
As she always did.