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I stared blankly at Yeo Ryung for a moment. Although she was right in front of my eyes, she looked like a faded image in an old film.
And that was when I finally grasped why Yeo Ryung reacted so loudly upon my confession of the partially lost memories. Losing information about her was the same as losing most of the memories of my past. In other words, I actually knew nothing about ‘the other me’ back then in which I thought I’d been aware of.
Yeo Ryung wasn’t just a piece in a puzzle; she was the puzzle itself. The whole thing wouldn’t work out without her.
She continued, “It still reminds me of the day in our elementary school. We had this class performance, a play, and of all people, your parents and mine couldn’t make it that day.”
“Uh-huh,” I just nodded my head in a daze.
“At the performance, I played a role of a princess. It wasn’t my intention to take that part. The princess had the most lines, and the schedule was too tight to remember the script, so the kids in our class might have let me play that role since they saw me doing it well last year.”
I nodded again. When I was young, my victim mentality sort of motivated me to participate in several events, but in the case of Yeo Ryung, her attitude was derived from her mindset of giving up.
People treated her to take various parts in different activities since she was excellent in everything. And that’s what made her get used to giving up being defensive and just step forward to do things. In fact, even now, whenever she had a chance, Yeo Ryung pulled my arm and whined that she wanted to leave the situation.
“But after the performance, parents of the girls in our class came to me and said that since I played the leading role for two years, why don’t I give their daughters a chance next year. They argued that I should be considerate of other friends, willing to play the princess role in the play.”
Yeo Ryung showed a faint smile on her face. Lifting her head to look at me, she continued talking about that day.
“At that very moment, you appeared and grabbed my hand as if you’re my older sister…”
That was when something happened all of a sudden. I was listening to her story, being completely unaware of it, but my vision suddenly blurred, and the scene changed in a flash.
A high-ceiling decorated with colorful flags from all over the world. Pieces of colored papers scattered everywhere on the floor. Half-ripped gold cheerleading poms…
Most of the kids were holding a flower in their hands and grabbing their parents’ on the other. Only Yeo Ryung and I were standing there, holding each other’s hands, like missing children.
The scenery of that moment was ridiculously vivid.
I flickered my eyes for a second, wondering, ‘But why…?’ Those memories couldn’t exist in my mind. If then, was it just a similar memory popping into my head after listening to someone else’s? You know, every Korean kid who graduated from middle school had memories of school performances.
As soon I had those thoughts, a voice echoed around my ears. It was ringing as being said in a cave.
‘Hmm, so… According to what Hansol told me, she asked you that she wants to play the princess role this year. She almost begged you to let her take the part.”
‘That’s…’
‘Hmm, I heard you took that role last year as well. I’m not trying to be mean, but since you’ve played the role of princess for two years, it’ll be nice of you to give other people the chance. You know, other people deserve to play that role too. No matter how much you’re willing to take the position, you must be mindful of your friends too. Don’t you think so? You have no idea how heartbroken Hansol was at home.’
A lady’s voice resonated in my mind. She was a complete stranger, but the response was definitely from Yeo Ryung. Her younger and thinner voice was trembling from time to time in that conversation. And that moment, another voice intervened–
‘Hi, may I ask what Hansol told you guys?’
‘Excuse me?’
‘I wonder what she told her parents to make you guys talk to Yeo Ryung like that. Don’t you think you have to hear both sides before you speak to her that way? That’s commonsense.’
It was such a straightforward remark for a kid to drop to adults. I was exactly the same character of what Yeo Ryung described to me earlier.
I was bewildered for a moment. ‘Then, is this my memory of the past in this world?’
The conversation in my head continued–
‘Excuse me, kiddo, I’m your friend Hansol’s mother. I do have a right to talk to you guys, don’t I?’
‘Just now, you almost scolded Yeo Ryung as if she had done something wrong. It sounded like Hansol kept asking her for a chance, but Yeo Ryung refused to do so.’
‘Isn’t that correct?’
‘No, you’re wrong. Yeo Ryung told the teacher she didn’t want to play the princess role, but it was the teacher who asked her to take it since she’s the fastest and the best in our class who could memorize all the lines in time. And that’s how our practice time can be reduced, which would be better for all our classmates.’
Then Yeo Ryung’s tearful voice came out.
‘Sorry, Hansol. Next time, I’ll definitely let you play the role. I promise I’ll never take it.’
‘… Really?’
‘Yes, I will, of course.’
‘Cool.’
As I concentrated more on that moment, even Hansol and her parents’ faces seemed to appear clearly in my head.
Then I returned to the real world. Furrowing my brows for a second, I quickly opened my mouth.
“You mean Hansol?”
Yeo Ryung paused and replied in surprise, “Ah, yeah, that seems to be her name.”
Well, since the name was in my memories, it would definitely remain in Yeo Ryung’s brilliant brain as well.
Looking astonished and slightly delighted at the same time, she asked me, “Don’t you remember anything else?”
My brows still met in the middle. I shook my head, thinking, ‘To call this fiercely vivid fantasy my memory, there’s still a lot of things that don’t make sense.’ I mean this memory couldn’t exist in my mind in the first place…
Then there was another scene popping into my head. Frowning, I took a close look into it and soon noticed that it was something familiar–our old house in the past.
Before remodeling it, the doors and wooden walls still boasted their smooth-grained, reddish brown-hardwood appearances. There was a jade-colored carpet on the floor, and our living room had an electric piano and a small trampoline.
The little Donnie was hanging on her mother’s waist, washing the dishes, and talked busily–
‘Mommy, you know, today at our class performance, Hansol’s parents said something to Yeo Ryung, so I kicked them out.’
My mom looked like she was fully occupied with housework. Putting the washed dishes on the rack over the sink, she replied–
‘Why? What did they say?’
‘Um, they said Yeo Ryung is playing the princess role for two years; she doesn’t know how to be considerate.’
Young Donnie kept babbling to her mother with a half-excited, half-righteous tone.
‘It’s so ridiculous, right? That isn’t Yeo Ryung’s fault, so I…’
My words coming out in satisfaction soon got cut off.
‘Hmm, to think of it, why didn’t you take the princess role this year? Then we would have come to see you.’
That was what my mom said out of the blue. I stopped talking and looked up at my mom absentmindedly. Her back looked higher and bigger than that right now.
My mom in my memory continued speaking nonchalantly–
‘That’s why we are still not using the camcorder that we bought when you became an elementary school student.’
After a long pause, I barely blurted out–
‘Mommy, you said you can’t come…’
‘Come on, then should we go to take a video of you just for a few seconds?’
It was my dad who replied that way in the living room.
My lips were suddenly sealed. For quite a while, I just quietly pulled my mom’s waist into my arms, then finally went into my room.
The view in front of me darkened all of a sudden, and I returned to my reality as if I were swimming through a passage. In the living room light, Yeo Ryung emitted a radiating smile on her lips.
She continued speaking, “That was the most memorable moment in my life back then.”
I stared at Yeo Ryung with mixed emotions.