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Tsuki Tsuki (Light Novel) - Volume 5, Chapter 04: Most desired Words
Volume 5, Chapter 04: Most desired Words
This chapter is updated by NovelFree.ml
On the next day, I received a mail from Hijiri saying “You don’t need to worry about me. Please go with everyone to the festival”.
I told Kaorun about that, but she stayed depressed.
Kaorun herself was trying to act like always, but while making breakfast she cut her finger with the kitchen knife or she tripped on even grounds, thus unable to hide her agitation.
After dinner, Kaorun kept an absent-minded state with her elbow rested on the table.
“Hey, Kaorun.”
“…”
“Ehm, Kaorun?”
“…”
“Kaoru-sa~n.”
“…No reply. It’s just a corpse.”
“No, don’t call yourself a corpse.”
After retorting lightly, I said as brightly as possible.
“We’re all going to the river now. Do you want to come with us?”
“I appreciate the thought, but I still have to prepare for dinner.”
“…We just had dinner, you know? Well, though you didn’t eat much.”
While saying so, I took Kaorun’s hand.
“C’mon, let’s go together. Staying at home won’t solve anything.”
I said encouraging, but Kaorun didn’t seem to listen, as she started be absent-minded again. …This was a serious case of depression.
Unable to watch this any longer, I half-forcefully dragged Kaorun with us to the river.
But even at the river, Kaorun stayed absent-minded as ever. The change of atmosphere was in vain.
There we decided to wait until evening and invite Kaorun to the festival.
I was worried about Hijiri, but the depressed Kaorun was on my mind too.
So I hoped that the festival at least would serve as a change of atmosphere.
Taking Kaorun with us, we walked around twenty minutes from the holiday house to the shrine. Climbing up the stone stairs, we passed through the shrine archways.
On top, a large crowd was enlivening the grounds.
Watching over the grounds, I saw stands like goldfish-scooping, fried octopus balls or grilled squid lined up. The tempting smell of food hung in the air.
Seeing that, everyone had sparkles in their eyes.
“It’s my first time to a Japanese festival, but… it looks fun.”
“Indeed.”
Replying to Machina with a smile, Luna also watched over the stands in an excited state. As for Kaorun, she glanced at women wearing yukatas, then said to me with a small voice.
“Shinobu-sama, please take a closer look at the bottom of the woman in the pink yukata. I dare to say that she is not wearing any underwear.”
“…For real?”
Unmeant I followed Kaorun’s look, but
“Shinobu-sama, that was a lie.”
teased by Kaorun, I got red in the face.
But well, maybe due to the atmosphere of the festival, Kaorun seemed to have cheered up a bit, so I was relieved.
There Nazuna came closer with cotton-candy in her hand. Next to her was Elni, playing with a yo-yo balloon in her hand.
“Here, cotton-candy for you, Brother.”
“Oh, thanks. I see you got a yo-yo balloon, Elni.”
“Yeah!”
When I called out to her, Elni proudly showed off her yo-yo balloon. But because she did so too hastily, the balloon slipped out of her hand and burst upon falling onto the ground.
“Uwaaaaaah!”
Looking down on the broke balloon, Elni raised a scream.
Her expression was close to tears.
“Sh- Shinobu~”
“No, don’t come crying to me. All I can say is that it’s no use crying over spilt yo-yo balloons.”
“Oh my, you say some clever things, Shinobu-sama.”
“Not clever at all!”
On Kaorun’s words, Elni puffed her cheeks lightly and replied.
“Shinobu, I’m sad! So give me all of your cotton-candy!”
“…Are you pulling my leg??”
“I’m pulling your cotton-candy.”
“That’s not what I meant. If you want it, buy some yourself.”
Saying so, I handed her a thousand yen bill, when Elni thanked me with a smile and walked away to the stand. Soon enough she came back with grilled squid in her hand.
“I’ll give you half of my grilled squid, Shinobu!”
“Really?”
“Yeah, because it’s a calamity to eat too much calamary.”
“Oh my, Elni-sama says some clever things too.”
“…You think so?”
I wearily replied to Kaorun, who had clapped her hands, when now Nazuna came over.
“Brother, Brother. I’ll also share my fried noodles with you!”
“Oh, thank you!”
Saying my thanks once again, I took the fried noodles from Nazuna, but
“Shinobu! I’ll give you my fried octopus balls!”
“Brother! Shaved ice!”
“Shinobu! A chocolate banana!”
“Brother, a candied apple!”
Elni and Nazuna brought more and more food to me.
…I should give a fair warning here.
“Hey, don’t buy it if you can’t eat it alone. I’m still eating my cotton-candy. Don’t load it all off on me, share it with the other girls, too.”
“Meow!”
Upon my words, Nazuna saluted and handed over the candied apple to Machina.
“Then I’ll give my chocolate banana to Luna.”
Elni shoved the chocolate banana into Luna’s mouth.
“Mmg!? E- Elni-chan, such a big banana will not fit. St- Stop. Yahn…”
Luna phrased it strangely erotic. Also, Luna eating the forcefully entered banana from Elni, was even more erotic.
Like always, Luna was a natural erotic big sister.
Such thoughts crossed my mind as I tasted my cotton-candy again. There Kaorun called out to me with a wry smile.
“Shinobu-sama, you have cotton-candy stuck to your cheek.”
“…P- Purposefully! I’m appealing on my cuteness. Leave me alone.”
I replied distracting, since it was embarrassing. I hastily reached out for my cheek.
Upon that, Machina, next to me, laughed lightly and said.
“Shinobu, not that one, but the other. Should I get it off?”
“Yeah, lick it off with your tongue.”
…No, wait. Damn Kaorun was mimicking me. I should give her a proper warning for once.
I turned around with that mindset.
“Geez, you’re such a baby.”
Machina naturally placed her hand on my shoulder and licked my cheek with her tongue.
A sweet fragrance and the sensation of a warm tongue. Also the warmth from her hand on my shoulder. I looked at Machina stiffly.
“Now it’s off— wait, what are you making me do! Shinobu you pervert!”
She only noticed her own action now, suddenly turned bright red and protested.
“…Ehm, I didn’t say anything, you know? Kaorun was just imitating me. Actually, notice it before you actually do it.”
“Sh- Shut up! It was said so natural that I ended up doing it on reflex! Besides, Kaoru is at fault for saying such strange stuff!”
“Well, yeah.”
I nodded and faced Kaorun together with Machina.
But our gaze fell on a maid wearing a Gund*m mask.
Receiving our gazes, that maid simply said.
“I’m a Gund*m.”
“…Is that so.”
“Sorry to have bothered you.”
Inadvertently, I and Machina averted our eyes. However, the Gund*m aka Kaorun continued unbothered, in fact even somewhat frolic.
“Right now I’m a Gund*m, but usually I work as maid.”
“That’s quite a Gund*m.”
When I retorted, Elni raised her hand and interjected.
“Just like Kaorun usually works as maid, I work as Goddess!”
Elni declared proudly for some reason. Then Nazuna also raised her hand and followed up on that.
“And I work as little sister.”
“Then I work the house chores.”
Even Luna said so now, so I decided to play along with everyone.
“In that case, I work as a martial artist. What about you, Machina?”
“Eh? Me? I’m, ehm…”
Seeing Machina at a loss for words, Elni answered in her stead.
“Machina works as a dominatrix.”
“Yes, that’s right. Oho~hoho~! I’ll step on you, so kneel— wait, I’m not a dominatrix! Don’t say weird stuff!”
Like always, Machina was tricked and then retorted.
After Machina pinched Elni’s cheek, she suddenly shifted her gaze onto a target shooting stand.
“Hey, Shinobu, what’s that?”
“A target shooting, as you can see. You stuff a cork bullet into the gun and try to bring down the gifts on the display, so that you’ll get it. …Want to try it?”
“N- No, thanks. It’s a game for kids.”
“Don’t say that. We’re at a festival, so I don’t think it’s all that bad to act a bid childish. I’ll play too.”
“…I- If you insist, I’ll play with you.”
Machina said bashful and stood in front of the target shooting stand with me.
There Elni also lined up besides me and opened her mouth.
“Shinobu, me too! I might not look like it, but target shooting is my pride!”
“Hoo. Then show me your skills.”
Replying so to Elni, I paid the man at the target shooting stand the fee for three people.
Then Elni started to stuff the gun with the cork bullet with a serious expression.
On the other hand, Machina, who had claimed it to be a kid’s game, also took up the gun with in a somewhat excited state.
However, not a single of Machina’s bullets hit the gifts and she frowned.
“…I’m not hitting at all.”
“Hahaha, you suck, Machina. Watch my great Goddess’ skill!”
Elni puffed her chest full of confidence and took a hundred yen coin out of her pocket. Then she flipped up the coin into the air. At once she aimed the gun and pulled the trigger.
Right away, her cork bullet hit a caramel box and perfectly brought it to a fall. Moreover, catching the falling hundred yen coin with her hand— would have been cool, but she missed it and the coin fell onto the ground.
The hundred yen coin made a loud noise and rolled away.
“Uwaaah! Wait!”
Elni chased after the coin…. tripping midway.
While watching that, I made a small sigh.
“…She’s such a sad fellow.”
“It would have been cool enough if she had done it normally.”
—Well, like that we enjoyed the festival. Suddenly a loud BOOM sounded, as the firework started in the night sky.
“Wah, it’s so pretty, Brother.”
“Pretty? My profile is?”
“No, the fireworks.”
Ignoring my joke with a smile, Nazuna looked up to the night sky.
I followed her example at looked up, but the fireworks were far away, which left me rather unsatisfied. Everyone else probably felt the same.
“Let’s go somewhere, where we can see the fireworks better.”
Upon my suggestion, everyone nodded with a smile…
Leaving the shrine, going for a place with a better view on the fireworks— our feet headed to the nearby riverbed. When we reached the riverbed, there were already plenty of other people, watching the endless flowers blooming in the night sky and smitten by the beautiful sight.
“It’s really pretty…”
Luna leaked an admiring voice.
Her profile enlightened by the brilliant firework was so beautiful that I couldn’t take my eyes off it.
Luna seemed to have noticed my gaze, as she shifted her look from the fireworks onto me. Then she smiled.
…How beautiful, I thought.
Her soft smile deeply touched my heart and the roaring of the fireworks seemed so far away.
Unmeant I reached out my hand and touched Luna’s cheek.
“What is the matter, Shinobu-san?”
“N- Nah, nothing.”
I hastily removed my hand from her cheek and scratched my own cheek distracting.
I couldn’t tell her that I just wanted to touch her.
While I felt my cheeks getting hot, I pretended to watch the fireworks, then looked at Luna once more. …She indeed was beautiful.
And not just Luna.
Enlightened by the fireworks, everyone looked really pretty. Luna, Machina, Elni, all of them… Mh? Kaorun was missing.
Noticing that, I at once checked the near area, but Kaorun wasn’t to be seen close by.
“Hey, where did Kaorun go to?”
I asked everyone. The girls took off their gazes from the fireworks and watched over the area.
“Huh? That’s strange. She was here until just a moment ago…”
“Don’t tell me she got lost…!”
Nazuna tilted her head while Machina made a slightly worried face.
I clapped Machina onto the shoulder and Elni told her reassuring.
“Machina, Kaorun isn’t me, so she won’t get lost.”
“Then, why isn’t she here?”
On Machina’s question, Elni crossed her arms and pondered, but her expression gradually shifted from cheerful to gloomy. Now both Elni and Machina made a worried face.
There I took out my cell phone and called Kaorun.
“…No good. It won’t connect.”
Not able to contact Kaorun, I got worried for some reason.
“I’m going to look for her.”
Before I noticed it, I had started running.
Soon enough, Elni lined up next to me.
“…Elni?”
“Shinobu, let’s all split up and search. That way, we’ll find her quicker.”
Saying that, Elni smiled.
There I turned around and looked at the other girls.
“Shinobu-san, we will go search over there.”
Luna waved her hand lightly and walked off with Machina and Nazuna.
…Everyone was worried about Kaorun.
Thinking that, my chest got hot for some reason and with these warm feelings, I searched for Kaorun in the crowd.
But she was nowhere to be found and my earlier worry increased.
Worrying that Kaorun went off somewhere all by herself, I continued to run under the night sky, which started to get cloudy, without stop together with Elni….
The gloomy riverbed, removed from the crowd. There was Kaorun.
Kaorun was watching the night sky, even after the firework ended, alone with a somewhat sad expression. She just looked like a single beautiful flower on a stalk. A perfectly beautiful picture just by herself. She certainly was pretty. But she also looked gravely lonesome and sad.
“…What are you doing here all alone?”
I called out to Kaorun.
Kaorun seemed to have noticed Elni and me, as she wasn’t surprised and slowly shifted her gaze onto us. Then she opened her mouth lightly.
“My deepest apologies for causing you troubles, Shinobu-sama, Elni-sama. Being together with everyone was just so much fun that…I became scared.”
“Scared…of what?”
Kaorun didn’t answer the question and averted her eyes, then said.
“…Truth be told, I had intended to return to the Gogyou Household after a full day of fun with you, Shinobu-sama. But you were even kinder than I had anticipated and even the Miss covered for me. Luna-sama, Machina-sama and Elni-sama also treated me kindly. That is why…I became scared.”
There she stopped her words and raised her gaze to the pitch-black night sky once again.
“It was a night like this on that day….”
Along with her words, Kaorun slowly started to talk indifferent like always.
“For as long as I can remember, I was in the exorcist organisation. I did not know the faces of my parents. But, just once, I located my parent’s whereabouts behind the exorcists’ back and tried to meet them.”
While talking, Kaorun lightly clenched her fists.
“I thought that they might help me. That my kind parents might get me out of here. I believed so at the bottom of my heart. Therefore, I continued to walk for a very long time, not feeling any exhaustion.”
Kaorun’s faintly lively voice
“Strangely enough, no one came after me. Escaping was not an option and even if I tried, I was dragged back immediately, yet not a single one came after me. …Now that I think back on it, it was all too convenient. I am afraid they leaked the information on purpose to make me head for my parents.”
changed into a resigned sigh.
“…I had wanted to get help. I thought my parents would help me. However, upon arriving at my parents’ house, my supposedly mother was innocently smiling with her child. They looked so happy that I also…wanted to be part of it.”
With a trembling voice, Kaorun continued with a “However,”.
“my mother told me, who had come by so suddenly, ‘What’s wrong, little girl? Where’s your mother? You can’t wander off on your own, you know?’. She said that with a very gentle voice. That is why I couldn not say anything back. I came to realize.”
Killing her expression and with only her voice and clenched fists trembling, Kaorun said.
“That I had no place in this happy family. I was abandoned by my mother and forgotten. Once I realized that, I ran away from my mother. I no longer, had a place to return to….All that was left to me was being a tool.”
Straining her eyes, she looked into the night sky and continued sadly.
“…I no longer remember the face of my mother. What I remember instead is that I walked alone under a pitch-black sky. Under a broad sky without the moon or stars, in a world without colours and sounds, I, who is neither human nor devil, wandered about as left behind….”
With her usual inexpressiveness, but with tears dwelling up in her eyes, Kaorun slowly spun her words, “At that time, I thought…”.
“—Ahh, this is my life. Without knowing where to go, continuing to walk all alone. This is me, is what I thought.”
Upon hearing these words, a pain ran through my chest.
I at least had heard that hybrid devils like Kaorun were treated like tools. But coming to know what it meant in reality….made me freeze on the spot, unable to say anything.
Then, after a short pause, Kaorun opened her mouth again.
“…From then on, I ceased to think and just lived as a tool. Still, I met the Miss. The Miss, as a first, treating someone like me as a person. She gave me a place to belong to. So I thought that I wanted to stay by her side, become her family, but…”
Midway, Kaorun’s shoulders trembled lightly.
“Returning to the exorcist organisation will get this denied again. They will tell me that I am a tool and cannot become the Miss’ family. I am scared of that. The closer I get to everyone, the more unbearable is the thought of getting it denied…I am getting so incredible scared.”
Saying that, Kaorun bit strongly onto her lips as to endure something.
Not daring to show tears, she looked down while her shoulders continued to tremble lightly.
—I want to protect her.
I couldn’t stand seeing her like that. I wanted to show her a smile, so I reached out my hand for Kaorun.
“You don’t have to go anywhere. Just stay with us.”
Sentiments implied, I gently patted Kaorun’s head.
“I’ll protect you if anything happens. So, don’t make such a face.”
After patting her head….I gently offered her my hand.
“Everyone’s waiting. Even Hijiri will be back soon. …Let’s go back together.”
Kaorun looked at my hand for a while, but after a moment of hesitation,
“…Yes.”
she showed a smile and took my hand.
Then we decided to go back to the other girls with Kaorun.
But on the way, Elni, who had stayed silent the whole time, opened her mouth hesitantly.
“…I think you better go see your mother once more, Kaorun.”
Kaorun stopped upon these words and Elni continued while looking at her sadly.
“Curse her or whatever. Just go see her and tell her your feelings….otherwise, you’ll come to regret it.”
Elni’s tone was a mixture of gloominess and sadness.
Kaorun didn’t answer Elni and just stared down with her mouth closed.
But after a short silence, she said quietly.
“…In the past, I had once considered to go to see her again. I wanted to ask her why she abandoned me, why she did not love me. However, that answer can easily be guessed. Because I… am a filthy devil. Going to ask a question to which I already know the answer… will just hurt me.”
“…It’ll hurt because you still feel for your parents, even now, right? Because you still believe in them. Even with such a faint hope, it’ll always hunt you. Keeping it vaguely won’t save you. You properly have to find… an answer.”
Elni said strictly. But, it was the truth. Just like Elni had said, she had to resolve the matter at some point. Putting the answer on the shelf would only hurt you. …And telling that to Kaorun was surely a hard role. Elni was close to tears and continued on.
“Humans are bound to die one day. You don’t know if that will happen tomorrow or in a year. This might sound extreme, but you might not ever see her again if you don’t meet her tomorrow. If you have something to ask of her, it’s better that you hear the truth from her mouth.”
There Elni changed her tone and clapped on my shoulder with a smile.
“If you’re too scared, you can take Shinobu with you. Shinobu is reliable, so he’ll help if something happens. You also have Hijiri. You have a proper place to return to, Kaorun. Don’t pay any mind to what others say. Just believe in Hijiri’s words, that you are her family.”
Saying so, Elni laughed gently.
Kaorun seemed troubled, but looking at me, she asked worried.
“…You will also come with me, Shinobu-sama?”
The answer was obvious.
“Yeah, I’ll.”
I replied with a big nod.
I believed that Kaorun should cast away her parents, just like they had abandoned her. There was no need to stay attached to them forever. When those who hurt Kaorun are her parents, then I would protect her from them.
Determined like that, I once again patted Kaorun’s head.
Probably because the fireworks had ended, the riverbed had turned quietly, as if the earlier crowd had never been there.
I had called Nazuna on her cell phone and arranged that we regroup at the shrine. Elni, Kaorun and I walked towards the shrine without saying anything.
Amidst that, Elni broke the ice.
“…Kaorun, do you still remember where your parents’ house is? If you don’t, should I look into it?”
“Look into it, you can actually do that?”
When I interjected, Elni puffed her chest proudly.
“I’m a Goddess after all. I have a few friends amongst the exorcists. I think, I’ll know about it soon enough.”
“…You are unexpected resourceful.”
I was somewhat surprised. Kaorun smiled softly and said.
“It is alright, Elni-sama. I still remember the location. Because it is close here.”
“I see. Then how about dropping by tomorrow or so?”
“…Tomorrow, you say?”
On Elni’s words, Kaorun showed a bewildered expression.
“I believe that to be a bit too sudden…”
“Make hay while the sun shines, right? If it’s close by, you better go quickly. You’ll only suffer when you delay it.”
“…You, are right. I understand.”
Kaorun nodded, but her expression was gloomy and she continued to walk once again wordless.
There I exchange a look with Elni and we both reached our hands out for Kaorun. I grabbed Kaorun’s right hand while Elni took the left.
Kaorun showed a slightly surprised expression, but returned the squeeze of hands with a smile. So we three headed for the other girls at the shrine while holdings hands.
* * *
…At night, I went out into the garden of the holiday house and called Hijiri.
After a long ringing, Hijiri picked up the call.
“Hijiri? Where are you right now?”
“…I’m at Tachibana-san’s house now. My father is here, too.”
“That your father is there means… something happened?”
Hijiri’s powerless voice made me worry.
When I asked worried, Hijiri answered quietly.
“I heard about Kaoru-san’s father from my father and Tachibana-san. And my father said that Kaoru-san doesn’t have to attend the special training if she doesn’t want to. But after hearing the story about her father…I became scared.”
“Scared?”
“…I didn’t really know anything. So I became scared that Kaoru-san might come to hate me once she knows the truth.”
Hijiri’s voice trembled.
So I said a “Don’t worry” with a somewhat loud voice and continued.
“Whatever it is, Kaorun won’t hate you for it. Everyone can tell on a glance that she loves you. So hurry up and come back.”
I said so to reassure her, but Hijiri didn’t reply, it was just an awkward silence.
There I opened my mouth to change the topic.
“Tomorrow, we’re going to visit Kaorun’s parents.”
The moment I said that, I could hear a gasp through the phone.
“…Kaoru-san brought that up?”
“No, Elni suggested it. Kaorun seemed to be hesitant, but decided to go anyway. I’ll tag along, so if you like, you also—”
“I can’t go.”
Hijiri cut into my words with a small voice. She added a “…Sorry”.
“What’s wrong?”
I asked with a firm tone, but Hijiri wouldn’t answer me.
There I made a small sigh.
“Hijiri, I have a favour to ask.”
I said.
“Kaorun might come back hurt after meeting her parents. Therefore, I want you to tell her then that she’s your family.”
“…I wonder if Kaoru-san will accept that.”
“Of course. That’s what Kaorun wants.”
I declared so with conviction.
“…Thanks, Shinobu-kun. Can I entrust Kaoru-san to you tomorrow?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Replying in a soft tone, I ended the call with Hijiri.
After that I didn’t feel like going back to the house and sleep, so I absent-minded looked up to the night sky.
“Shinobu-san?”
I was then called out from behind.
I turned around and there stood Luna.
“What’s up?”
“Well, just…”
Luna smiled vaguely and stood next to me. She slowly opened her mouth.
“Just now, I heard from Elni-chan. That you are going with Kaoru-san to meet her parents tomorrow…”
“…I see. Elni told you everything.”
“No, she did not tell me anything. But I could tell by watching Kaoru-san that something had happened. And that she is worried about meeting her parents. …But even though I noticed that, I… ended up feeling jealous.”
Jealous.
A faint pain ran through my chest on that word.
Luna didn’t know her parents. Abandoned by her mother…she had no one to fawn over.
“…Have you ever felt like seeing your mother?”
When I asked her by gently resting my hand on her head, Luna nodded small.
“Ever since I was small, I have always been wondering how my mother looks like, what her voice is like or how she smiles. And I believed that she was a gentle, smiling person, that she had a reason for abandoning me.”
While saying so, Luna forced herself to smile.
“But everyone except me knew my mother. Saying ‘The whore disappeared and left a troublesome kid behind’, they all talked bad about my mother. It seems my mother was hated by everyone.”
Luna strongly clenched her fists and continued with a “So”.
“I thought that at least I had to love my mother. I decided to take her side, since being only hated would be too sad. That’s why I still love my mother, even now. If I could meet her…I would like to do so.”
Still loving a mother that abandoned you was a mindset I couldn’t take.
…I found it stupid. She should just curse her and cry. But, even more so, my chest became hot from sadness. The forced smile on her profile strangulated my heart.
“…I told you before.”
So I gently reached out my hand and embraced Luna.
“It’s okay to cry when you’re sad. You can depend on me. You don’t have to force yourself.”
Because she was a devil, she would get abandoned again if she caused trouble.
It might be that Luna was still thinking like that.
So I should tell her once and for all.
“Whatever happens, I’ll never come to hate you, Luna. You can cause troubles. At times… depend on me.”
Along with my words, I tightly embraced Luna.
Upon that, Luna slowly twined around her arms around my back and quietly let her tears fall.
While I felt Luna’s warm body, I thought.
Hijiri should do the same.
Luna and Kaorun were always walking a step behind and watching us.
But they were cowardly and lacked the confidence to take that one step forward.
Still, both Luna and Kaorun were reaching out their hands.
So when they were one step behind, we should just take that step. We should just grab their hands and pull them along. Like this, we should embrace them.
If we held them dear, we had to do this….or the distance between us would never by bypassed.
—So, hurry up and come back, Hijiri.
It wasn’t my role to grab Kaorun’s extended hand. The only one who could grab Kaorun’s hand and pull her along was… Hijir.
…When I suddenly looked up to the night sky, I saw two small stars twinkle mellow in the clouded sky.
* * *
—This is my parents’ house. Like that Kaorun guided me inside, where an adorable maid greeted us with a “Welcome, Master, Milady”.
We sat down and got handed a menu. Kaorun and I ordered an omelette rice.
“—Wait, this is just a maid café!”
“You are a bit late to point that out, Shinobu-sama.”
Kaorun continued half-wearily.
“Truth be told, you wanted to visit a maid café, did you not, Shinobu-sama?”
“Well, I was indeed interested. But, today we came to meet your parents, right? You said it’s close to the holiday house, but you didn’t mean this café, did you?”
“No, I merely dropped by here, since I thought we should have an early lunch. …If they still live in the same place like before, it is close to here.”
For a moment a shadow dropped over her expression, then Kaorun opened her mouth with “More importantly, Shinobu-sama” to change the topic.
“How do you suppose we look to others right now?”
“A pervert and a gentleman?”
“No, it surely must be an angel and a lewd beast.”
“Fufufu.”
“Ufufu.”
We laughed dubious, then the waitress (maid) approached our table in a bit frightened state with our orders.
“Th- Thank you for the wait. Ehm, what would you like me to write on your omelette rice?”
“Write ‘Pervert Maid’ on hers please.”
“Eh?”
“Well then, please write ‘Pervert Gentleman’ for this man.”
“Ehh?”
The waitress was perplexed by our unexpected answers. However, she really write what we told her and then left quickly.
“…It was just a little joke.”
“Yes. Moreover, she did not cast a deliciousness-increasing spell on it.”
“I think that varies from store to store.”
“Well then, you cast the spell instead then please, Shinobu-sama.”
“Valuse.”
“…Enough of that. Please cast the spell properly.”
“I’ll do it when you also do it, Kaorun.”
When I replied as such, the expressionless Kaorun formed a heart with both her hands
“Become delicious~ Moe Moe Kyun Kyun~”
and chanted the spell.
“Okay, time to dig in.”
“…Please wait a moment. You promised to do it as well, Shinobu-sama.”
“Oh, this omelette rice is good.”
“Ignored? You take pleasure in putting me to shame, do you not? As expected of a perverted gentleman.”
“No, you’re a perverted maid, so I thought you would be more happy if I neglected you.”
“I am not that perverted.”
Flatly denying, Kaorun dropped her gaze and looked at her own omelette rice with ‘Pervert Maid’ written on it.
“Incidentally, Shinobu-sama, I heard that the Chinese mindset of a balanced meal to prevent illness implicates the traditional medicine that eating liver is good for your liver and that eating heart is good for you heart.”
Staring at her omelette rice, Kaorun continued.
“Going by that theory, when I eat this omelette rice, I would turn into a ‘Pervert Maid’, would I not?”
“It’s too late for that anyway, so don’t worry.”
“…Next time, I will serve you an omelette rice with ‘Boob Alien’ written on it, Shinobu-sama.”
“Hey, when I eat that and turn into a ‘Boob Alien’, how will you take responsibility?”
“I will let you touch them. Though only if you marry the Miss, that is.”
Kaorun cracked her usual jokes.
Like that I ate my omelette rice while chatting with Kaorun, but Kaorun ordered a dessert after finishing her omelette rice and was reluctant to leave the store.
She really might be uneasy about meeting her parents.
Kaorun was more talkative than usual and avoided the topic of her parents. But we couldn’t stay here forever.
I grabbed the bill and stood up.
“About time we go.”
“Uhm, Shinobu-sama, just a bit—”
“No.”
Shaking my head, I reached out my hand for Kaorun’s head.
“There’s no poin tin delaying it any further. I’m with you, so be brave.”
When I gently petted her head, Kaorun nodded lightly.
Then we left the maid café and drove in Kaorun’s car for a while, when we got onto a peaceful residential street.
Getting off the car, the constantly uneasy Kaorun headed for an ordinary detached house. The nameplate had the last name “Takase” and the first names “Shigeru”, “Ayaka” and “Nagisa” written on it. Obvious enough, “Kaoru” wasn’t written on it.
That fact pierced my chest hurtful.
Even though her own wasn’t anywhere on it, Kaorun kept staring at the nameplate.
“…It’s here?”
When I asked so, Kaorun gave back a faint nod. Then, when I tried to rin the doorbell, she firmly grabbed my hand.
“Don’t worry. I’m with you.”
Reassuring her, I once again tried to ring the doorbell—when the front door opened and a single girl appeared.
Probably in middle school? It was a cute girl in a school uniform.
Upon noticing us, she showed a friendly smile and opened her mouth.
“Do you need something?”
“…Y- Yeah. We came to talk with Ayaka-san.”
I answered with a glance to the nameplate, whereupon the girl energetically shouted “Mom, you have a guest!” inside the house. Then she approached us while leaving the front door open, gave us a bow with a smile and left for some place.
I atched after her leaving.
“Hello.”
Then I heard a soft voice.
Shifting back my gaze to the front door, there stood a beautiful woman, smiling gently.
Her face somewhat resembled Kaorun’s, so she must have been Kaorun’s mother, Ayaka-san.
But she was completely different from the image I had of her in my head. She appeared really kind and nothing like a person that would abandon her own child.
Ayaka-san approached us still smiling and asked confirming.
“Ehm, nice to meet you, I guess?”
Upon these words, Kaorun bit her lips and looked down.
Instantly, Ayaka-san lowered her head with a sorry expression.
“I’m sorry. I take it that we have met before? I don’t have any past memories, so I don’t remember well…”
“…No memories?”
When Kaorun raised her head, Ayaka-san smiled sadly.
“The doctor said it’s ‘Memory Loss’. He encouraged me with ‘They might return some day’, but I still don’t remember anything.”
“…Since when did you lost your memories?”
Upon Kaorun’s cracked voiced question, Ayaka-san put her index finger on her cheek and answered.
“Eighteen years ago, I think. When I came to my senses, I was in a hospital bed. I didn’t remember anything, was a bit scared and somewhat sad.”
Saying so remembering, Ayaka-san invited us inside the house with “Would you like to talk inside?”.
But, even invited in and seated at the table, we didn’t know what to talk about. Since Ayaka-san had no memories, she wouldn’t be able to answer any questions.
…How was Kaorun feeling right now? And what was going through Ayaka-san’s head?
Ayaka-san just kept looking at Kaorun, who had her mouth shut and stayed silent.
Her look was quite gentle. But, Kaorun absolutely avoided to look into these eyes.
“…Ehm, the girl earlier is your daugher?”
I couldn’t take the long silence, so I opened my mouth. Ayaka-san nodded a “Yes” with a smile.
“This year she got into second year of middle school, but she’s quite mischievous, which troubles me. She totally comes after her father.”
…Her father, huh. Since she also forgot about Kaorun, it was safe to assume that Ayaka-san’s current husband was a different man than Kaorun’s father.
“Uhm, you said it’s memory loss, so you forgot about your husband too…?”
When I asked to confirm, Ayaka-san shook her head.
“I met Shigeru-san after my memory loss. When I was plagued with the uneasiness of the memory loss, he always stayed with me. He was really kind.”
Ayaka-san told us happily, but in contrast, Kaorun’s expression got gloomier.
It just was pointed out that Kaorun’s own father was forgotten by her own mother.
Even if she expected it already, it surely wasn’t a pleasant feeling.
I made a big sigh in my heart.
…There might have been no meaning in coming here.
What should she tell Ayaka-san, who didn’t remember anything? Even if Kaorun complained now, the current Ayaka-san wouldn’t be able to comply with it.
Because she painfully realized that fact, Kaorun couldn’t say anything.
Still, Ayaka-san seemed concerned with Kaorun, as she eagerly called out to her. In response, Kaorun only gave short answers like “Yes” or “Right”, so the conversation didn’t last long.
Despite that, Ayaka-san didn’t seem offended by it and showed a gentle smile. And while still wearing that gentle smile, she opened her mouth as she remembered.
“Reminds me, I still haven’t asked your name. Would you please tell me?”
“…My name is Kaoru.”
When Kaorun replied so albeit a bit hesitant, Ayaka-san smiled with “It’s a good name”.
“The fragrance of a soft wind, the fragrance of the fresh green leaves, the fragrance of blooming flowers, at the time of that sweet smell…because you were with me…the world seemed more beautiful…So, the child will…”
—It came sudden. Halfway, Ayaka-san’s voice started to tremble and big tears rolled out of her eyes. Then she faced Kaorun like she had suddenly noticed something.
“…Hey, when did I met you? Right now, I remembered a bit of my past. My words just now, someone….someone really precious told them to me.”
Slowly reaching out her hand for Kaorun, Ayaka-san said quietly.
“You see, it seems I gave birth to a child before I lost my memories. Could it be, you are—-”
“No.”
Shaking off the reaching out hand,
“I am not your child.”
Kaorun denied strongly.
“…Y- Yeah. I’m sorry for suddenly saying something so strange.”
“Indeed. You really…. say some… strange things.”
With her voice trembling sadly, Kaorun averted her eyes from Ayaka-san.
Before I could bring up anything,
“Shinobu-sama, it is about time we take our leave.”
Kaorun stood up. Without any time to stop her, she left the living room. Soon enough I chased after her, whereupon Ayaka-san called out to Kaorun.
“Kaoru-chan, please come by again.”
On these words, Kaorun bit down on her lips while her shoulders trembled lightly. But as she couldn’t endure it, she slowly turned around and reached out her hand for Ayaka-san.
“…Mother.”
Only I could hear that squeezed out word.
“Mh? What?”
Ayaka-san asked back while tilting her head.
With just one step closer, she would be able to touch that gentle smiling face.
Yet, Kaorun slowly put down her extended hand and turned her back to Ayaka-san.
“…Please stay well. Please always stay healty on good terms with your family.”
Leaving behind just that, Kaorun grabbed my hand and ran out escaping.
Kaorun’s small hand squeezed mine so strongly that it hurt. Her feelings were conveyed through that hand. I couldn’t hold back and opened my mouth when we were out of the house.
“Was that alright? She’s your mother. Why didn’t you admit it?”
“…I am certain that this woman would be hurt if she knew that her own child is a devil. I do not desire to destroy her happiness.”
This woman. That way of calling was just too sad.
“It is weird. I should be hating her, yet when I saw the smile of that woman…I ended up wanted to protect that gentle smile.”
That were most likely Kaorun’s true feelings. But, was she content with just protecting it? Was she really content with not being able to touch that smiling face or feeling the warmth of her mother?
“Kaorun, you still can—”
“Shinobu-sama, just seeing that smile is enough for me.”
Softly cutting into my words, Kaorun forced herself to smile. Close to tears, but absolutely not allowing them to flow out… It was just a sorrowful smile.
I couldn’t say anything more and just returned to the car while firmly holding her hand.
Upon that, there were Hijiri, Tachibana-san and one man standing in front of the car.
The man had a finely chiselled face like an actor, but had a sharp glint in his eyes and a strict appearance. His whole body emitted an aura of dignity.
“Nanjou Shinobu-kun, I take?”
Asked by the man, I nodded for now.
“Thanks for always taking care of Hijiri. I’m Gogyou Sougo, Hijiri’s father.”
After that short self-introduction, Sougo-san faced Kaorun.
“Kaoru, were you able to have a proper talk with your mother?”
Upon this soft-toned question, Kaorun looked down and lightly shook her head.
“I see…”
Sougo-san made a faint sigh and after a short hesitation, he opened his mouth.
“…Kaoru, I killed your father.”
Instantly, Kaorun raised her head and her eyes rocked in confusion.
Not avoiding her gaze, Sougo-san slowly started to talk.
“Your father was a devil named Kyoura. He took the lives of many humans. Even famous exorcists were killed by him. But in the confrontation with us, he lost his own live. Not because we were stronger. But rather because he protected the infant you, without killing anyone.”
Sougo-san continued with a heavy tone.
“At his death, Kyoura said: ‘At least save this child’. He was a proud devil, but he lowered his and pleaded to a human. Your father, protected you until the end.”
When Sougo-san finished talking, Tachibana-san opened her mouth, taking over.
“Originally, you, who inherited the blood of a strong devil, should have been disposed off. However, against all opposition, Sougo-san let you live. That alone should have been enough, yet he even took you in a few years later. …The reason you are alive is because of Sougo-san’s efforts. Gratitude is the least you—-”
“Stop it.”
Sougo-san quietly cut into Tachibana-san’s words, then pulled out something from his pocket and held it out to Kaorun.
“I held on this for your father. He wanted me to give it to you, once you had matured.”
What he held out was a small, white envelope. That envelope had dark red spots everywhere.
Most likely bloodstains. Kaorun surely must have noticed that too. Taking the envelope with her shaking hand, she slowly opened it.
“…A letter?”
Pulling out a writing paper from the envelope, Kaorun read through it.
Upon that, tears gradually dwelled up in Kaorun’s eyes.
“What does it say?”
When I asked softly, Kaorun wiped her dwelled up tears and started to read out the letter aloud.
“Kaoru, when you read this letter, I’m no longer in this world. So I believe I have to tell you, my daughter, properly.
I’m a devil. For my own desire I killed countless of humans and devils….A worthless man that kept building up sins.
But, the worthless guy I was, your mother, Ayaka still loved me. She granted me, a devil, warmth for a first time.
But because Ayaka was involved with me, the exorcists targeted her like me. I didn’t care where or how I dropped dead. After all, you reap what you sow. Considering what have all done, it’s a natural retribution.
However, Ayaka is different. You, Kaoru, are different. You are different from me and should become happy.
With that in mind, I erased Ayaka’s memories. The memories of her bitter past of being born into a miserable life, the memories of me and of you. I erased it all.
So Ayaka won’t remember you.
You can hate me all you want. Just don’t hate Ayaka. She really loved you. Every day was a bliss for her, dreaming of your growth.
Same for me. When you were born, for the first time I knew how it is to cry of happiness. What happiness is. How wonderful life is.
If possible, I wanted you to call me ‘Dad’. But that wasn’t meant to be. I have sinned too much. In time, I’ll surely killed by the exorcists.
When that happens, you’ll be under the control of their organisation. It’ll be hard and you might stop resisting against being used as a tool.
But still, I want you to live. Even if you can’t smile or be happy. You might think that life itself is pointless.
However, your life is my salvation.
I love you, Kaoru. To me, you’re more important than myself or anything else in the world.
Kyoura.”
After finishing reading out the letter, Kaorun pressed the paper lovingly onto her chest.
There Hijiri slowly approached Kaorun and timidly opened her mouth.
“…Kaoru-san, we are responsible for the death of your father. So I thought it’s only natural for you to hate us. I thought that we had no right to become your family. But, still—”
With wet eyes and her voice trembling, Hijiri reached out her hand to Kaorun.
“I won’t give up on you! I love you, Kaoru-san! Love you so much! I want you to stay with me! I know I’m being selfish. I’m sure I’m pretty selfish. But, I don’t want you to be gone, Kaoru-san! I still want you to be a sister to me from now on!”
Hijiri’s hand reached out amidst her crying voice.
That hand, without any hesitation, was grabbed by Kaorun. Clinging onto Hijiri with her shoulders trembling and sobbing….Kaorun cried.
Kaorun didn’t cry when she said that she was envious of Machina or when she was scared to return to the organisation. Even when her own mother didn’t remember her, she didn’t show any tears. But now, that Kaorun was crying loudly.
…Ah, right.
The words Kaorun desired the most were spoken by Hijiri. Because she had something else most precious, she didn’t took the hand of her mother.
—The person for Kaorun to fawn over wasn’t her mother, but Hijiri.
That might be sad.
But even if she couldn’t fawn over her own mother, even if she couldn’t see her anymore, Kaorun had Hijiri with her. She had a family with Hijiri.
So she should be alright now.
Looking at Hijiri and Kaorun embracing each other, I really considered them to be sisters.
For a while I watched over their embrace, then Sougo-san placed his hand onto my shoulder.
“Nanjou-kun, I heard about you from Hijiri and Kaoru. ….You seem strong.”
“No, no, I’m still green.”
I lightly shook my hand, but Tachibana-san interjected with a smile.
“There is no need to be so reserved, Nanjou-dono. You easily chased away my men the other day. I believe you are way stronger than an imprudent exorcists.”
“I see. No wonder that he has such a good look then. That’s a rocking pair of eyes.”
Sougo-san said somewhat happily, then opened his mouth with a serious expression.
“Nanjou-kun…Any plans to become an exorcist?”
“None.”
I somehow had a bad feeling, so I flatly denied.
But Sougo-san grabbed me at my shoulders and said.
“Don’t worry. I’ll teach you the exorcist spells. You’re going to be Hijiri’s husband. When you start to train now, I’m sure you’ll become an excellent exorcist. Support my Hijiri.”
…Huh? For Sougo-san, the marriage of Hijiri and me was already a determined matter? …This situation was extremely bad. Seeking help, I faced Hijiri and Kaorun.
Upon that, Hijiri and Kaorun, whensoever she stopped crying, said smiling.
“Shinobu-kun, come over now. I’ll help you with your training.”
“I will lay out your mattress in the Miss’ room then.”
I had not a single ally here.
“B- But, my family is waiting, so I have to return to the holiday house now…”
“Well then, come over once you went back. Kaoru and Tachibana can bring everyone over with the cars. You don’t have to worry about anything.”
Being strongly urged by Sougo-san, I couldn’t turn him down and was heading to the holiday house in the car with Tachibana-san driving. Inside the car, Sougo-san endlessly explained about the exorcist organisation and the exorcist training seemed rather interesting.
Actually, I became a bit interested in it. But when we got back to the holiday house, Sougo-san’s expression twisted when he saw Elni and turning on his heels, he went back to the car.
Seeing that, Elni chased after Sougo-san with a smile and stood before him.
“Ohh, I knew it, it’s you, Sougo. It’s been a while.”
“You got the wrong person. I don’t know you. I have business to attend to, so I’ll excuse myself.”
“Don’t be so cold. I’ll tell your wife about that.”
“Stop! My daughter is here! So don’t speak of that!”
Apparently, Elni was acquainted with Sougo-san.
Hijiri and Kaorun didn’t know that either, as they widened their eyes in surprise.
However, it seemed that Sougo-san had a weakness with Elni. When Elni declared that she was coming along with me to the Gogyou mansion, Sougo-san said “Make it some other time” hastily and after taking us home, he went home.
—Well, like that, the short life at the holiday house came to an end.
* * *
The night after coming back from the holiday house, I was laying absent-minded on my own bed.
Then suddenly the window of my room opened and Kaorun peeked in her head.
“Good evening, Shinobu-sama.”
“…Why are you always coming in from the window?”
“Shinobu-sama, just like Santa Claus comes in through the chimney, I come in through the window. Please do not give it too much thought.”
“You’re like a thief.”
“Eh? Stealing your heart?”
“No one said that. What are you here for?”
When I straightened up my upper body and asked, Kaorun answered with a slightly serious expression.
“As a matter of fact, I came with a piece of information for you, Shinobu-sama.”
“Information?”
“Yes. Starting tomorrow, I will return to the exorcist organisation and participate in the special training. You have been taking care of me so far, I thought I should let you know about it….”
“No, wait a sec. Wasn’t Sougo-san going to do something about that?”
Sougo-san’s influence should have exempted Kaorun from the special training.
“…Don’t tell me, something happened?”
“No, I decided to go by my own will.”
“…Why? The special training is hard, isn’t it? Why would you specially go there then?”
“If I do not go there, it will cause troubles to everyone in the Gogyou Household. That alone made me want to go there, but there also was another reason for it.”
“Another reason?”
“Yes. I want to become a strong sister that the Miss can boast about and also a maid fitting your standards, Shinobu-sama. Therefore, I will not give in to something like this special training.”
Saying so, Kaorun smiled lightly.
“Shinobu-sama, I will not run away anymore. I will work hard so that I can stand besides the Miss. First of all, I will finish the special training quickly and surprised everyone upon my return.”
“…I see. I’m looking forward to that.”
“Please do. Most likely, I will return as an even better maid as I already am. So when you see me and want me to make your personal maid, just say so anytime please. I will immediately start to call you ’Master’ then.”
“Now that’s a deal! Come back quickly and show off your wonderful maidness.”
When I replied so, Kaorun blushed for some reason and said timidly.
“…So, I have a little favour to ask of you, Shinobu-sama. May I have your permission?”
“Yeah, just say it.”
“I will allow myself to do so then. Uhm, when I return safely…would you please grant me a reward? I am still a bit uneasy, so I believe I can give my best with that…”
“Well, sure if it’s anything I can do…What do you want?”
When I asked, Kaorun turned bright red up to her ears and looked down.
“….Please, pet my head.”
She answered with a quiet voice.
“Eh- Ehm, you’re fine with just that? You could ask for some more, well, like the amusement park before—”
“It is fine. That alone is enough for me.”
Softly cutting into my words, Kaorun continued, still looking down.
“I had never known that having your head gently petted by a man could feel so pleasant and made me so happy…”
While saying so, Kaorun raised her head and continued with “Therefore” smiling.
“With such a reward, I can overcome anything.”
“…I- Is that so. Then I’ll pet your head all you want once you’re back.”
My cheeks turned hot from the embarrassment, but I replied with a firm nod.
Upon that, Kaorun opened her mouth with her cheeks still red.
“Uhm, I feel bad for only asking favours of you, so I would like to thank you in some way, also considering the latest case…”
“It’s okay. I didn’t do anything special.”
“Th- Then I will merely express my feelings of gratitude.”
Along with her words, Kaorun suddenly moved.
Instantly, a sweet fragrance tickled my nasal cavity.
“*kiss*”
And I felt a warm and soft sensation on my cheek.
…I was, kissed?
It took me a few seconds to realize that.
Before I noticed it, Kaorun had turned her back to me and walked towards the window.
“…Your ears are bright red, Kaorun.”
When I said isolated, Kaorun said flustered with her back still to me.
“Th- They are not red or anything. You are imagining that. It is a misjudgement. You merely are under that impression. It is also late at night, so I will excuse myself. Good night, Shinobu-sama!”
Talking so quickly, Kaorun walked away eagerly with her back still to me.
I softly called out to her.
“Kaorun, you can call me any time, if something happens. I can listen to your lamenting.”
“Th- That I cannot do! When I hear your voice, I will get aroused!”
Here I kindly offered her, yet Kaorun replied with one of her special jokes.
After I thought how she couldn’t be honest like always, I made a wry smile, just when Kaorun turned around slowly and said reminding with her cheeks still red.
“Shinobu-sama, please do not forget about the reward matter.”
“Yeah, I won’t. So give it your all.”
“Yes. I will give my best for the reward.”
Nodding firmly, Kaorun showed a smile.
Judging by that, she should be fine.
Watching Kaorun leave through the window, I once again lay down on my bed and closed my eyes…
