Published at 8th of March 2024 7:45 am

Book 2, Chapter 30

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The next four hours were a unique hell for me, made bearable by the fact that I got to drive. Meanwhile; Tony, Alice, and even Ida were on the phones trying to get the powers that be to believe a universe-destroying monster was trying to blow the doors down. Perhaps calling it hell was a bit of hyperbole, but it was very uncomfortable. I am a very solitary man, and being crammed into a sardine can with wheels with three other people and an alien dog-monster is a bit much for my social battery. Or maybe it was just because Bogo kept stepping on my crotch when he repositioned. He refused to be in the back seat and Alice was still quietly terrified of the idea of being near him, so the not-dog was in my lap for the entire trip.

Plus, you know, looming apocalypse.

Hey Colm, I said to myself in an overly chipper voice, undercut with bitterness. Remember when all you had to worry about was the boogeyman?

I sighed and absently scratched Bogo behind his ears, which he leaned into but didn’t take his eyes away from the window. He’d huff if we were starting to go in the wrong direction, but we’d been heading steadily east since hitting the Ten freeway. I leaned over Bogo to glance at the gas gauge and saw we were down to a quarter.

Alice made a frustrated noise and gripped her phone like she was going to throw it, but arrested the motion with a sigh.

“No luck?” I asked.

She shook her head. “We’ve got the entire clan calling in every favor we can,” she said, resting her chin on her palm with her elbow propped on the door. “But it’s hard to convince people interstellar Doomsday is coming with what little evidence we have.”

“Interdimensional,” I corrected absently.

“Nerd,” Alice said without feeling.

We were all at various levels of exhaustion, with the probable exception of Tony. Using magic takes a price. Typically, your body adapts to the strain in various ways, which is why Alice can bench over three hundred without having a lifter's physique. She’s been using magic since she could talk, and channeling those forces has strengthened her. Or her strength gives her the ability to channel the magic—there’s some debate. But the fact remains that the strain is still there, and the fight with the demon truck, the bad sleep, the travel, the worry, and frustration were combining to drag us down.

“You’d think with all the dick-waving that Jager guy did, he would take this news more seriously,” Alice muttered.

I laughed bitterly—

There was a flash of light and—

And the freeway was gone.

Everything was deathly silent.

I was so shocked it took me a moment to register there was no response from the car. The wheel felt dead in my hands and the pedals depressed with no resistance. I turned to Alice to find her oddly still. I touched her and, to my growing horror, she didn’t react. I shook Bogo in my lap to find him stiff as a board. I glanced behind me to see Ida and Tony similarly frozen.

Before I could react further I heard a tapping on my window.

“Please step out of the car,” a deep voice requested.

I jerked around and peered through the glass, my fear and anxiety being joined by a healthy helping of incredulity.

Jager stood outside the Prius.

I took a moment to look around and finally realized we were in that same huge room he had teleported me to upon our first meeting. Jager was standing with his hands clasped behind his back, dressed in a polo shirt, slacks, blazer, and combat boots.

“I don’t have all day,” He said, his voice only slightly muffled coming through the crack in the window.

I had a surreal and slightly embarrassing moment when I tried to lower the window, only to find the car wasn’t powered and was unresponsive. I unlocked the door and opened it with a shove, then began the slow and awkward process of getting out of the car without hurting the frozen Bogo who was still on my lap.

“Why is the entire Martinez clan raising hell with the Concord and my office?” Jager asked in a mild tone that did nothing to hide just how irritated he was. I was still halfway in the car and moving Bogo onto Alice’s lap. Sorry, Alice.

“What,” I grunted. “Are you not reading your messages?” I finally extricated myself from Bogo and stood up, my back popping twice as I straightened and stretched. Prius’ were not designed for men of my height.

Jager made a low noise in his throat that was a dead-on impression of a bear’s growl. “You’d do well not to make jokes—“

“Do you see me fucking laughing?!” I nearly shouted. “Yes! There’s a cult of the Distiller here! They have my brother! That lady—“ I pointed at Alice. “Pulled the info from one of their minds before he blew himself up! They’ve attacked me twice, summon demons and shit, and hit me with a mindwipe spell that made me forget nearly a week of my life!”

I took a deep breath. “Am I wrong in assuming you and your office, whatever the fuck that is, are the right people to be calling when you find out a reality-destroying monster from another dimension is imminent? Because if I am, can you direct me to whom I should be trying to contact?”

Jager regarded me silently for several moments, anger boiling off him. He opened his mouth, no doubt to dress me down when his eyes shifted to the right and went unfocused. A moment later they focused on me again, but his expression had softened a bit.

“How are you shielding your mind? My assistant is trying very hard to verify your story,” he tilted his head slightly to the side as he studied me. “But you aren’t reacting.”

My first impulse was to lie; I mean, come on. Lying was second nature by now. But he might also be able to snap his fingers and find my brother. Plus—I thought with a glance back at my frozen friends—I don’t want to antagonize him while their fates are in his hands. I mean, more than I already have.

I sighed and pulled the makeshift amulet out from under my shirt and tossed it on the dashboard of the car. “I cut myself off from the astral.”

Jager’s eyes widened. “That’s very dangerous.”

“Ha!” I barked out a bitter laugh. “Like my life would be safe otherwise?”

He inclined his head slightly, acknowledging the point. Just when I was about to ask a question I felt someone punch through my mental defenses like they weren’t even there.

“Hi! Sorry, won’t be but a minute!”

“Punch” might have been the wrong word. If my mental defenses were a castle (a small, tiny castle with one turret), the person who had just invaded had delicately lifted the north wall and set it aside like it was a piece of Styrofoam packaging.

I’m no slouch when it comes to mental defenses, either. After the scare I had last year I put almost as much time into fortifying my mind as I did learning Circe’s Method. With Alice around with tips and the odd family manual she loaned me (I’m not sure if she was allowed to do that; she never brought it up so I didn’t either) I feel my mental fortress was way above standard. Alice has admitted she can barely get through with all her effort, and it takes her minutes.

Yet this person…

“Yes, I’m sure this is very jarring, but I promise not to look at anything too embarrassing,” said the light, slightly high-pitched male voice. “Try not to think of embarrassing things—whoops too late!”

The time I was pantsed in high school by my crush flitted through my mind. I shook my head violently before glaring at Jager to keep my mind on the present. I also did my utmost not to think of anything else, especially not—no, nothing else.

“Very good! Good tactic. Boy, they sure did a number on your memories. If we had more time I could help you get them back, but the good news is that they’ll come back on their own once you free up some time and get some R&R. Also, you should really seek professional help. There’s a lot of trauma floating around here.”

Yeah, I’ll get right on that mysterious voice in my head. Can you verify my story already? My brother’s life is on the line.

“No, yeah, no, you’re a hundred percent right. I already got everything I needed on the info front. Now I’m just going over you and your friends minds to make sure you and they aren’t being manipulated by outside parties. That’s the part that takes the longest time.”

...Does that happen often?

“Often enough that we always check now. You only need one radical armed with the psychic equivalent of a fuel-air bomb for new policies to be enacted. Know what I mean?”

Not really, no. But I see your point.

“Also, that dog is so well mannered. Too bad he can’t speak, because he has so much to say! And so polite.”

He’s the goodest boy.

“Well, yes. And a demon.”

I shrugged mentally.

“Aaaand… That’s it! You’re in the clear. Lemme just forward the results to the boss real quick—“

My mind was assaulted by the noise and static of an old dial-up modem.

Really?

“You’re no fun.”

The entire conversation happened at the speed of thought, so only a few second has passed. I leaned back against the car and waited for Jager’s attention to return to me.

“Well, Mr. Albright informs me that you and your associated definitely believe what you are saying,” Jager said after a moment had passed. He studied me silently before his features hardened, a decision forming on his face.

“Elysium moves,” he said. “Let’s hope this isn’t a giant waste of my time.”

The way he said it, made it sound like if it was a waste of time, it’d be my ass. Whatever dude. Oh no! You have to do your job! Wait, shit, that dude is probably still in my head.

“I won’t tattle.”

“Great,” I said to Jager and the voice in my head. I snatched up my amulet with my magic and hung it from my neck once more. The anxiety I’d been holding in check flooded into and out of me when I felt my connection to the astral cut off. Thank God Albright seemed to be in a rush and hadn’t seemed to notice my silent passenger. Or was it not as powerful as I thought? “So, how do we do this?”

Jager raised an eyebrow and snapped his fingers.

And the world went white.

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