Published at 26th of March 2019 12:07 am

Volume 1, Part 5

I probably could've figured it out, but I didn't do so because I didn't want to admit it.

Aya Otonashi has come to the conclusion that it is impossible to retrieve the box from me.

It should be easy enough to end the Rejecting Classroom as soon as you identify the culprit. She's gone through over 20,000 iterations in order to retrieve the box.

So…what should she do?

Isn't it obvious?

My limbs whirl around as I am run over by the truck. It's kinda comical to see my own right leg lying far away from me.

"So it ends here…"

I get 'killed'. I let myself get killed.

"27,753 meaningless recurrences. So all this time ends in completely wasted effort? I have to…I have to admit that even I am getting tired."

To be precise, I'm not dead yet. But lying in a pool of blood, I know: I will die. I will not be rescued. And I've indeed been killed by her.

"Ugh…! I've spent this outrageous amount of time and this is what I get. I've never hated my own impotence more than right now…!" She murmurs with bitter regret.

"…let's move on. Since I couldn't find the box here, I'll just have to seek the next one."

Aya Otonashi's eyes aren't perceiving me anymore. No, surely those eyes have never perceived me properly in the first place.

From start to finish Aya Otonashi has just been looking at the box inside me.

Will this day also be rendered 'void'? No, it won't. If the box called the Rejecting Classroom is inside my body, then it will get smashed when I die. And like my flesh was smashed by the truck, this box is already smashed as well.

This day won't repeat anymore.

Aah, what irony. If this were the only way to end the Rejecting Classroom, then death is the only thing that's been preordained from the start. Well, naturally it's empty. This world was surely—the world after my death.

But with this, our battle comes to an end.

It was a one-sided fight with no surprises, but it has come to an end here.

Yeah…that's what you're convinced of, right? Otonashi-san?

I pity you. I really do, Otonashi-san!

I guess it's because you kept ignoring me. You wouldn't have made such a mistake otherwise.

That's why you wasted so much time.

Listen, Otonashi-san. It's simple enough if you think about it. There's no way that a regular person like me could be the protagonist.

I want to tell her that, but I'm unable to do so anymore. I can't even move my mouth.

My consciousness fades away. I die.

Which—ends nothing.

I am inside a scene that I can only remember within my dreams.

I have accepted the box from him.

"Please be at ease! Usually such a thing comes with a catch, but this one has none. You won't lose anything precious, nor will your soul be stolen. You know, it's not the nature of the box that causes such tragic consequences, it's the nature of the human who uses it. If you use it correctly, your wish will come true without any risk."

If you use it correctly—

Is it really so easy to use it correctly? I don't know. I don't know, but even if using a box is risky, it's still an extraordinary opportunity. It's like a winning lottery ticket. There's always the possibility that you might ruin your life with your sudden wealth. But you wouldn't normally worry about that, right?

So who would ever refuse to accept this box?

"—What's the meaning of this?"

Because here's a person who chooses to return the box.

"Are you holding yourself back for some reason? Do you not believe me? Or—do you fear me?"

Of course I'm worried about all of these issues.

But my primary reason for rejecting the box lies elsewhere. I simply don't need it.

You see, my wish is for my everyday life to continue. I have already attained this goal without any need for that box.

I'm like a trillionaire who doesn't bother to strive for an extra million yen. Of course I'm aware of its value. Even so, I don't need to accept the box from such a mysterious person.

Right. I rejected the box.

Thus—

Even if I did wish for this recurring world so that my everyday life would continue, there's no way that I could be the culprit.

27,753rd time

*rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp*—

What is this sound? It's coming from inside me, and so, so soft that I almost fail to notice it—but overlooking it would be a fatal error.

*rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp*—

There's a tiny little rasp being applied to me. Where? Well, the sound comes from within me, so it's shaving away at my insides, of course.

*rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp*—

I have to cover my ears because the sound feels so unbelievably noisy—even though it's not—but doing so just makes it seem even louder. Aah, naturally. Of course I'll hear the sound coming from within me even better when I block off outside sounds. So I can't even cover my ears. I'll never ever be able to escape from the sound of myself being abraded.

And it hurts. Getting abraded always hurts. I bet this is what it feels like when your heart turns into a blowfish—a continuous prickling pain. Are these feelings of guilt? They are more stubborn than I thought; I was sure that guilt would be the first feeling that I'd lose.

*rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp* *rasp*—

I'm getting abraded.

My heart.

My self.

Aah, if this continues, my insides will lose their shape and crumble into small pieces like wood shavings. No...It's already—too late. I've already been reduced to small fragments.

Over these 20,000 iterations, I lost my sense of self. I'm aware of this. I couldn't endure this boredom and lost my heart. I can't even communicate properly with others anymore.

This world is rejecting me.

Well, of course. From the very start, this was never a place where I belonged. I've forcefully thrust myself into it. Their classroom is constantly rejecting me.

I know how to obtain relief.

But I won't choose to do so.

That is because—my wish hasn't been granted yet.

…Huh? But I have already crumbled into small pieces. So how come the only thing I still retain is this wish? Is this even possible? My wish was abraded along with my heart. As proof—

—I can't remember it.

"—ahaha"

I laugh unintentionally. Right, I can't remember. Ahaha, I can't remember. What was my wish again? Come on, let me remember! Ahaha stop joking with me! Why did I endure the endless torture of these loops? I can only laugh. Though I can only laugh…aah, I have already forgotten how to truly laugh long ago, and so I laugh emotionlessly.

So—I might as well just end it.

An extremely simple conclusion. Why did it take me so long to think of it?

I just have to kill him. Right, I just have to kill him. I just have to kill Kazuki Hoshino. After all, he's the origin of this agony. If I can obtain relief by doing so, then I just have to kill him quickly.

But somehow I know.

These 'shackles' that were once my 'wish' won't ever release me.

27,754th time

My body rapidly became cold and then empty. I should have become empty as well, but I open my eyes like normal. Unable to endure the freezing cold that should already have dissipated, I embrace myself on the bed and tremble.

I was killed.

On March 2nd of some loop.

Right, even if I die, the Rejecting Classroom continues unchanged. After realizing this, I feel as though I'm really becoming empty. The frost doesn't seem ready to fade anytime soon.

I can't stand to stay here for very long, so I leave early for school without eating a proper breakfast.

I see the familiar cloudy sky. Tomorrow it's going to rain. I wonder when I've last seen the sun?

Nobody is in the classroom. Well, that's only natural since I'm an hour early.

A question suddenly occurs to me. Why do I so stubbornly revisit my classroom? I've witnessed the recurrence of the Rejecting Classroom many times already; I'm aware of it even now. So can't I just avoid going to school to resist this recurrence?

No…I'll go! Yeah, I'll still go. If I'm healthy, I go to school. This is my everyday life. It's definitely something I wouldn't even dream of changing. An act I'll pursue at any cost; maintaining my everyday life. My one and only faith.

Ah, I see. That might be the reason I'm still here. I don't understand the underlying logic at all, but that's just how I feel.

Even if I end up alone in this classroom.

"——"

I move to the center of the classroom. I climb onto someone's desk without taking off my shoes. I try to silently apologize, but when I attempt to recall whose desk I'm standing on, I can't remember the person's name or face. Still, I really am sorry.

I look around. It's not like I expected to trigger a change by standing on a desk, but there is no one in the dimly lit classroom.

There is no one in the classroom.

There is no one in the classroom.

"……Hm, I'm kinda cold."

I embrace myself.

The classroom door opens with a slight sound. The person coming in immediately spots me standing on his desk and frowns.

"…What are you doing there, Kazu?"

Daiya gives me an uncomfortable look.

After that simple, everyday interaction, my face relaxes.

"……Aah, really, I'm relieved," I murmur, and climb down from the desk. Daiya continues to frown as he watches me. "You know, Daiya, seeing you really calms me down."

"That's...fortunate."

"After all, you're definitely the real Daiya."

"…hey Kazu. For the first time in ages, I'm feeling scared of a human being."

"But you know, even if you're the real Daiya, this world is still a fake everyday life. I can't share anything with you. The next Daiya won't know the current me. It's like I'm the only one outside of the T.V. It's a one-sided relationship. So can I really claim that you're here?"

That's why there is no one here.

—no one?

"Ah—"

No, that's not correct.

There is just one other person here.

There is just one other person who can share memories with me. There is a person who can't escape as long I make sure to retain my memories.

Aah, I see. All this time, only the two of us were inside this Rejecting Classroom. We've been next to each other all the time, unable to break out and not even bothering to try, confined within this tiny, tiny space the size of our classroom. But I never had the chance to realize this because she's been treating me as an enemy.

I sit in my own seat.

Her seat is the one next to mine.

…I can't believe it. Just by imagining her sitting there, I've calmed down a bit—even though she was the one who killed me.

✵

Is it because of this?

Because? Because of what? I don't understand the meaning of this. I can't grasp my own feelings, but my body temperature drops even further. Rapidly. No, worse. My body was already cold to the core, but now it freezes, aches, reaches absolute zero and then completely stiffens.

"I am Aya Otonashi. I'm pleased to meet you."

The 'Transfer Student' almost behaves like a real transfer student and smiles gently, seeming a bit abashed.

"……what on earth?"

I can't understand the meaning of this.

No, to be honest, I understand.

"I'm just as affected by the Rejecting Classroom as anyone else. If I surrendered and stopped trying to preserve my memories, I'd get captured by it right away. I would live meaninglessly within this endless recurrence. Giving in would be as easy as spilling a cup of water that you're awkwardly balancing on top of your head."

—a voice I've heard once before replays in my head.

I look at the girl standing there. I review her appearance, come to the conclusion that it has to be her, but still can't believe it.

She is—Aya Otonashi?

That's impossible. After all, there's no way she'd give up.

Yeah, even if she recognized that the person she's been chasing for more than 20,000 'School Transfers' wasn't the culprit, and everything she's done so far became meaningless as a result—there's no way she'd give up. There's just no way! There's just no way she would ever give up!

That just—wouldn't suit her.

Our class is half its original size because people have been 'rejected'. Even so, everyone remaining is lobbing questions at her. She answers them concisely and simply, but properly. She doesn't coldly reject them like she used to.

She's acting…almost like a real transfer student.

This scene should not be possible, so it must be fake. A lie. Everyone is just a lie. Everything is a lie. Then…is Aya Otonashi a lie as well?

—I won't,

—I won't,

"I won't permit this!"

Even if everyone else permits it, I won't.

I won't let Aya Otonashi become a fake.

"…what's the matter, Hoshino?" Kokubo-sensei asks for some reason. Only then do I realize that I've suddenly stood up.

I sneak a peek at Mogi-san. The glances of my classmates are focused on me, hers included. But as I expected, I'm unable to guess what thoughts lie behind her expressionless face.

She definitely wouldn't respond if I asked her what she thinks of what I'm about to do. We've spent a long time together in this classroom. Despite that, our relationship has come to a standstill.

Tomorrow needs to arrive so that our relationship can move beyond merely being classmates.

Right, Mogi-san is not here.

There is no one here.

That's why…I've had enough already.

I abandon all my classmates who will forget my strange behavior anyway.

I look only at Otonashi-san. I walk toward the platform she's standing on.

The action that I'm about to take is as unnatural for me as that attempted confession was for Mogi-san.

I stand in front of Otonashi-san.

Otonashi-san doesn't show any signs of uneasiness and takes a long, evaluative look at me. I get extremely irritated by her expression, since it suggests that she's seeing me for the first time.

"Hey, what's wrong, Hoshino?"

On the surface, Kokubo-sensei's voice is calm, but I can recognize its underlying uneasiness. My classmates also ask similar questions.

I ignore them all and kneel in front of Otonashi-san. I lower my head and hold out my hand.

"What are you doing?" Otonashi-san asks. She adopts a polite tone totally different from the way she would normally address me.

"I have come to meet thee."

In that case I'll do so, too!

"…what are you saying?"

"I have come to meet thee, m'lady Maria. I am Hathaway, the one pledged to protect only thee, e'en it mean the betrayal of all others and their eternal enmity."

The background noise from the people around us disappears with comical rapidity. Yeah, that's right. In order to take back Otonashi-san, my first step is to make her realize that these people do not exist. Their complete silence should be quite helpful in that respect.

Without raising my head, I wait for Aya Otonashi to take my hand. I wait, utterly still, for her to lay her hand on mine and start the dance.

But it doesn't work out that way.

Otonashi-san doesn't take my hand.

Instead I collapse to the side, producing a dull sound.

"…you're gross."

Since my head was lowered, I don't know what kind of attack I was targeted with. But as I look up at her from the ground, I realize that she attacked me with a knee kick from the right.

Aah, yeah. Totally understandable. Why was I so naïvely deluded, thinking that she'd reach her hand out to me?

"—Heh"

Without a doubt, if she really is 'Aya Otonashi', then there's no way she'd be so kind as to reach her hand out to me.

"Ha, hahaha…"

Apparently unable to hold it in any longer, Otonashi-san laughs. She seems to be amused from the bottom of her heart, to an extent I probably have never seen during those 20,000 recurrences.

I'm still lying on the ground and my head hurts, but my cheeks relax in relief.

"You've made me wait for quite a while, haven't you, my beloved Hathaway? I'm amazed you dared to make a frail lady who can barely lift more than a spoon, wait for so long. I never thought you'd abandon me 27,753 times on the battlefield!"

Otonashi-san leans over me and holds out her hand.

She grabs my hand and forcefully yanks me to my feet.

Yeah, that's it.

That's how Aya Otonashi is supposed to act.

"…but thanks to that you've become quite tough."

Otonashi opens her eyes wide in surprise. Then she smile faintly once again.

"Hathaway—you, on the other hand, have developed quite the silver tongue."

With those words, without releasing my wrist for a single moment, Otonashi-san pulls me out of the classroom.

Ignoring homeroom. Ignoring the teacher. Ignoring the students. Ignoring everything. We leave the classroom, ignoring everything I have abandoned.

✵

After dragging me out of the classroom, Otonashi had me sit on the rear seat of a large motorcycle and don a helmet. I'd never experienced such frightening speeds before, and asked her in a quivering voice whether she had a license while wrapping my arms around her surprisingly slender waist. (Well, it's actually not surprising at all since she's just a girl, but my image of her is one of absolute reliability and resoluteness.) She bluntly answered my question by saying "Of course not."

"I had too much spare time due to all the 'School Transfers', so I acquired this skill. I spend my time quite efficiently, don't you think?"

I have to admit that her motorcycle skills don't seem half bad.

When I ask her whether she has acquired any other skills, she tells me "Of course." Driving is within my range of expectation, but she's also picked up various martial arts, several sports, some additional languages, how to play various musical instruments…and the list goes on and on. Broadly speaking, she's tried out just about everything she could within the constraints of the Rejecting Classroom. But Otonashi-san, who'd apparently be able to get a near-perfect score on the National Central Test for University Admissions, also proclaims "Well, I knew most of that stuff already before the 'School Transfers'."

Her basic specs might have started out high, but the amount of time she spent within those 27,754 loops is even more ridiculous. I can't calculate it exactly, but that would be roughly equivalent to 76 years, or a human lifespan. When I think about it some more, the length of time she's been alive boggles my mind.

"Say, Otonashi-san. You're the same age as I am, right?"

Probably due to that train of thought, I've become curious about her physical age.

"…no, I'm not."

"Eh? Then how old are you?"

"That doesn't matter, does it?" Otonashi-san answers in a slightly ill-humored fashion. Is that perhaps a sensitive subject for her? Well, I heard it was impolite to ask women about their ages…so is she old enough for that to apply?

On further thought, there's no way there'd be such a mature student in my school year. She only chose to be my classmate out of convenience in order to slip into the Rejecting Classroom. Perhaps she's already old enough that it counts as cosplay to wear a school uniform?

"Hoshino, if you're thinking rude thoughts, I'll throw you off."

Catching me red handed without even looking at me while she's driving. She's sharp!

"By the way, you learned how to drive a motorcycle during the 'School Transfers', right? If so, this isn't your bike, right? Whose is it? Your father's?"

I don't know much about motorcycles, but this one doesn't look like it was meant for a girl.

"Beats me."

"…eh?"

"Don't you think it's careless to leave a bike alone in front of a house, with the keys still in the ignition?"

Well, I think so, too, but, wait, what? So that means…

"Also, the chain was poorly-built and easily cut with some common tools. It's always the same every time I 'transfer'. Well, that part goes without saying."

Let's not ask for any more details. Ignorance is bliss. Yeah, I have no clue what she's talking about.

"But say, if you lose your memories, then your driving skills, plus the other skills and knowledge you acquired will be lost as well, right?"

That would be a real shame.

"……"

Otonashi-san doesn't respond.

"Otonashi-san?"

She still doesn't answer. Could it be—

"Do you also think it'd be a shame?"

Could it be that she didn't absorb all that knowledge and all those skills just to kill time? Even someone like Otonashi-san would regret losing all those acquired abilities, which is why she didn't want to lose her memories. That's what I think.

In order to produce this feeling of 'regret', she kept on acquiring new skills.

Which reminds me—

Although this is a bit late, I start wondering.

—why did Otonashi-san act as if she had lost all of her memories?

In the end, she takes me to the most expensive-looking hotel in the vicinity. While it's not a five-star place, it's obviously not within a regular high school student's price range. Otonashi-san checks in with practiced ease, turns down the bellhop who offers to lead us to the room, and proceeds with determination.

After we enter her room, Otonashi-san immediately sits down on the sofa.

I sit down on the bed while suppressing the unsettled feelings I get from being in a high class hotel.…actually, being alone with a girl in a hotel room would normally be quite a stunning situation. But with Otonashi-san, I'm surprised to feel zero sexual tension. Being with her is just too surreal.

"You sure are rich, Otonashi-san. That's the impression I'm getting, anyway."

"Whether I'm wealthy or not is immaterial. The money will return anyway when I 'transfer' again."

"…that's true, now that you mention it. So I'd be able to buy up all the Umaibōs in the convenience store. Awesome!"

"That doesn't matter now. We didn't come here to discuss such trifles, did we?"

"R-Right. Specifically what do you want to discuss?"

"What actions we'll take going forward. After all, I lost my focus when it turned out that you weren't the culprit."

"I'm so sorry."

"Can the sarcasm."

But I didn't inject any…

"But, well, wouldn't it be best to just find the real culprit? Don't get me wrong; I know it's not that simple, but aren't you a lot better off, now that you've lost this preoccupation with me?"

"…Hoshino. I have experienced 27,754 'School Transfers'. Are you aware of that?"

"…what do you mean?"

"I've told you some of this last time, didn't I? However overconfident I was of your guilt, it's not like I didn't suspect anyone else. I also tried to come into contact with the other suspects while starting with a blank slate.…of course I was probably negligent to a certain degree, since I mistook you for the culprit."

"But you didn't find any other possible culprits besides me?"

"Yes. Keep in mind that we're on the 27,754th iteration. This means the owner of the box is a person who's been successfully concealing his identity for an immense length of time."

"Err, couldn't it be that he noticed you because you acted too boldly?"

"Even if he were wary of me, it would be impossible. We're talking about the amount of time contained within 27,754 iterations, you know? Or do you think that the owner has the fortitude and wit to continue hiding his true colors for that long? Well, to be fair, I still haven't found him. Jeez…the owner must be someone who enters this classroom, so why can't I identify him?"

"…wait a sec. What do you mean when you said that the owner could only be someone who enters this classroom? The owner has to be one of our classmates?"

I'm reminded that in the last loop, Otonashi-san mentioned that there aren't many suspects.

"No. The teachers and the students from other classes that come to classroom 1-6 each time are suspects, too. The range of this Rejecting Classroom is, as the name implies, only the classroom of class 1-6. Only the people who entered classroom 1-6 during March 2nd and March 3rd are truly involved with this phenomenon."

……? But I left the classroom and saw many other people, actually.

"Your face tells me that you're not getting it, Hoshino. Look, do you believe it's really possible to turn back time?"

"Eh…?"

What does she mean? If I say 'no,' then the basic concept of the Rejecting Classroom won't hold up, will it?

"…but isn't that what the box does?"

"I guess so. The box would make it possible. But I'm asking for your opinion. Can you fully believe in the power of this box to turn back time? Do you think such a phenomenon is even possible?"

I have no clue what Otonashi-san is trying to say.

"I think—"

So I just answer her question honestly without dwelling on her intentions.

"—once something has happened, it can't be undone."

Even I have thought 'If only I could turn back time' countless times in my life. But even if a time machine existed, I still wouldn't actually be able to believe in time travel. I probably wouldn't believe in it even if I actually traveled back to the past, at least until I gained absolute proof that I was in the past. And it's possible that even then, I wouldn't be able to accept it.

I don't know if that's the correct answer, but Otonashi-san nods with a "Mhm".

"Your sentiment is normal. And apparently, the creator of this Rejecting Classroom also thinks like you."

"…what do you mean?"

"A box makes the associated wish come true with utter completeness. Thoroughly. Flawlessly. In other words—even the culprit's doubts about traveling back in time will be reified, along with everything else bound up with his wish. You understand what this means, right?"

"Err…."

Wanting to turn back time, but not being able to believe in it. That lack of faith would probably warp the shape of the wish. I get it.

"But haven't you been traveling back in time over and over?"

"Hoshino. Did I refer to this phenomenon as 'traveling back in time' even once?"

There is no way I'd know since I've lost most of my memories of her.

"Let's put it plainly: If the Rejecting Classroom was born out of the wish to turn back time, then it's poorly made. No, it's outright defective."

"Then why did you experience over 20,000 recurrences?"

"Isn't this the very proof that it's defective? If time were perfectly reversed, then there would be no way my memories would be fortuitously excluded from this phenomenon. Not to mention, if these recurrences were so perfect, how could I slip in as a 'Transfer Student'?"

She gives me a snide glance.

"Because it's you, I bet you thought something simple like 'For Otonashi, everything is possible,' and stopped thinking at that point."

I can't object because she's totally right.

"To put it simply, all I did was get into the box. For example, I didn't choose to become a 'transfer student'. It's a position assigned to me by the culprit as he divvies up roles. The stage of the Rejecting Classroom is classroom 1-6, so I guess it was the most natural way to explain my sudden entrance; after all, we're roughly the same age. The culprit's feeling of balance preserved the consistency."

"……?"

I have no clue what Otonashi-san is saying. Why is it necessary to preserve some consistency?

"Why are you completely lacking in comprehension…anyway, to explain it simply—let's assume the Rejecting Classroom is a movie that the culprit is directing. The filming has ended, so only editing remains. But the production company insists that there's a new actor who has to appear in the movie. There's no roles left to cast anymore. But it's unreasonable to just film this additional actor standing idly onscreen without giving him a role to play; that wouldn't be a movie anymore. So instead the director decides to modify the script as little as possible in order to give him a role. That's what I mean by 'preserving the consistency.'"

"In other words he couldn't keep you from slipping in and had to somehow integrate you. So he was forced to make you a sudden 'transfer student' in order to preserve the school life of March 2nd?"

"Yes. And that alone should make you feel that something's wrong with this Rejecting Classroom. It's too bothersome to explain each and every detail so I'll cut straight to the chase. This is not 'reality'. Nor is it a true recurrence. It's merely a small separated 'space'. It's just a clumsy wish that holds true as long the culprit himself continues to mistake it for a true time loop."

"Err…so that's why the recurrences were imperfect?"

"Exactly. The culprit, who at heart doesn't believe it's possible to turn back time, instead won't allow it to proceed. He's choosing to reject it. The owner just needs to keep deceiving himself."

"This imperfection is the reason we can retain our memories?"

"I guess so. The specific reasons we can retain our memories may differ, but there's undoubtedly a gap in the Rejecting Classroom."

But there is something I still can't understand.

"At the end of the day, who are you, Otonashi-san?"

Otonashi-san frowns. Maybe this is a question she wanted to avoid.

"Ah, no…you don't have to tell me if you don't want to…"

However, she opens her mouth, frowning all the while.

"There's no cool title for my position. I'm just a student.…is what I'd like to say, but that only applied until about a year ago…My standpoint, huh? I have never come out and expressed it, but right, there's probably only one way to state it. I am—"

Otonashi-san, seeming very displeased, spits out her next few words.

"—actually a box."

"You're actually a box? What do you mean?"

When I parrot back her words because I still don't understand, Otonashi-san's frown just deepens.

"There will be various drawbacks if I explain the details, so I can't tell you."

I feel a bit unsatisfied, and this is apparently reflected by my expression. After looking at me, Otonashi-san continues.

"But I'll tell you this: I once obtained and used a box."

"Eh—!!"

"And my wish is still being granted."

Otonashi-san possesses a box?

"You're curious about my reason for seeking the box anyway, aren't you? Very well, I'll you let you know. My wish was definitely granted. But at the same time, I lost everything."

"…everything?"

"My family, friends, classmates, relatives, teachers, neighbors—I lost everyone close to me because of my wish. Everyone related to me isn't…here anymore."

I am speechless.

"That's not…some kind of metaphor, is it? You're speaking literally?"

"Yes. I can't stand to leave everything in limbo. That's why I'm taking action."

She has lost everything. She has nothing left to lose. That might be why Otonashi-san can be so reckless and fearless.

Anyway, to wish for such a situation, heck, what kind of wish did she insert into her box?

"Isn't it possible to destroy the box? Wouldn't the wish be nullified that way?"

"Hoshino," Otonashi-san responds to my reflexive doubt in a strongly admonitory tone, "the box is granting my wish. Do you get it? Don't make me say more about it."

Right. There's no way Otonashi-san didn't come up with that on her own. In other words:

The box definitely took everything away from her. But even so—Otonashi-san doesn't want to abandon her wish.

When I stay silent, Otonashi-san takes the lead once more.

"My wish and the wish of the owner of the Rejecting Classroom can't coexist. His box was created that way. So they repelled each other when I slipped in and the interference against me was reduced. But that's still just a 'reduction' in resistance. Put differently, I'm not immune to the effects of the Rejecting Classroom, either. Even I don't know the extent of its impact on me. If I gave in, I'd also be captured by the Rejecting Classroom…just as I already told you long ago, huh?"

If that's the case, how does the owner view Otonashi-san? At the very least, he's unlikely to be happy about her presence.

"You should finally understand the situation somewhat better now, so I'll return to our original topic. I guess it's not possible to retrieve the Rejecting Classroom anymore and use it. This box is already used up by the owner, so it's alright to just end the Rejecting Classroom."

"So how can we do that?"

"By ripping the box out of the owner. Alternatively, by destroying it along with the owner. That's about it. Another possibility would be…to find him, the distributor of the box, since he might be able to do something. But he's not going to be inside the box, so that doesn't seem like a viable option."

The distributor of the box?

I am about to ask her about him—and stop.

I don't remember this "*" I should have met already, and I don't want to, either.

"……so nothing will happen as long we don't find the culprit, right?"

"Oh? Nothing will happen, you say, huh? So you just implicitly complained that our conversation up until now was completely meaningless, unconstructive and a waste of time, right? You've got some nerve."

"N-No! I was just trying to confirm…"

"Hmph, so you feel that your knowledge and wit can solve a problem even I couldn't solve? I'm sure you interjected your comment with an idea in mind, right?"

"Ugh…"

I winced. There's no way I'd have one.

"Back to relevancy—if I knew that, then there would be no way for the owner to evade me. But, right…unlike the other deaths, the death of the owner won't be forgiven inside the Rejecting Classroom. For example, I died countless times inside this Rejecting Classroom but I'm here now and I haven't lost my box."

"But the owner is different?"

"Yeah, exactly. The owner and the box are connected. The instant the owner dies, the Rejecting Classroom will be destroyed. That should definitely be true, since I know of a similar case. The box will break the moment the owner dies, at the same time the characteristics of the Rejecting Classroom will be annihilated, and the concept of true death will be restored."

"So he'll stay dead if that happens…?"

"Exactly."

"So we can assume I'm not the culprit. Also, you're obviously not the culprit either."

"Well, yeah."

So Mogi-san also can't be the culprit. I mean, Mogi-san met with that accident already.

"Say, some of our classmates have disappeared, right? Does that have anything to do with death inside the box?"

"…I can't tell for sure, but there shouldn't be any connection. I still don't know why it's happening, but it's probably another characteristic of the Rejecting Classroom."

"…I can't tell for sure, but there shouldn't be any connection. I still don't know why it's happening, but it's probably another characteristic of the Rejecting Classroom."

—wait!

I suddenly realize—there's a simple way to identify the culprit.

At the same time, I feel my blood drain away from my face. What am I thinking? This is just too despicable. But, but—

Aya Otonashi. She could do it.

I mustn't tell her. But why isn't Otonashi-san aware of this method? There's no way she wouldn't notice it. But she didn't use it. That means…What does that mean—?

"Hoshino."

My whole body twitches when she calls out to me.

"What are you thinking? Surely you didn't come up with a way to find the owner—"

My body twitches again.

"—so you did think of something, Hoshino?"

"Ah, no—"

"Hiding it is futile. How much time do you think I have spent together with you? I have been chasing you longer than anyone else in this world. Unwillingly, but still…"

I am aware of that. Anyone would realize that I am trying to hide something.

"——"

But there is no way I can readily tell her about that.

"Hoshino. Even you should be aware that I'm not very patient."

She isn't going to fall for a random lie. Even if I try to evade her question, I'll surely blurt out the method in the end.

But still—

"Hoshino!!"

Otonashi-san seizes me by the collar. Ah, how painful. She's serious. Well, of course she is. After all, she's endured more than 20,000 loops just to obtain the box.

"Tell me!! Tell me this method!!"

I will definitely regret it if I tell her. But can I really keep quiet in such a situation?

"…you just need to kill all of our classmates."

So I tell her.

It's simple. If you can exclude every person that has died at least once from the pool of suspects, then that's easy. You just need to kill every suspect. It's a simple and devilish solution.

But people who die here will be resurrected.

There is nothing to worry about. I couldn't ever execute such a plan, but I'm sure Otonashi-san would be able to.

After all, she even produced corpses in order to retain her memories.

But did this plan really not occur to her? Why didn't she think of killing people in order to track down the culprit, in addition to retaining her memories? And if she did come up with that ultra-effective method, why didn't she execute it when all she needed would be roughly 40 iterations?

She doesn't answer.

She doesn't show any reaction.

I slowly look at her face.

Otonashi-san is still holding me by the collar and stares at me, unblinking.

"That is—"

Otonashi-san quietly removes her hand from my collar.

"That is—not an acceptable method."

"…eh?"

"That would be like performing medical testing on a living person without consent. Of course it's the most efficient way to use a human if you want to know how people are affected. But that act should be immediately rejected as an unacceptable method."

Otonashi-san spits these words out in a low voice without looking away for a single second.

"You want to know why? That goes without saying: such an act is inhuman. The moment someone does such a thing, he isn't human anymore.…yeah, I am a box, after all. Is it because of that? Is that why you are—"

Otonashi-san's eyes are unmistakably burning with anger.

"—treating me as inhuman!?"

Aah, certainly, if she did interpret my comments like that, then her anger is natural. I realize that I was speaking thoughtlessly.

But I still don't understand.

"But you've killed people to retain your memories, haven't you?"

"……what are you saying?"

Otonashi-san seems unable to endure my words and shoots me a sharp glance.

"…a-as I said, you produced extreme events that provoked strong impressions in order to retain your memories, didn't you?"

"Stop insulting me already—!! Didn't I explain it to you just now?! I can only resist the Rejecting Classroom because I am a box!"

Aah, right. That she retains her memories by producing and witnessing corpses was just Daiya's unfounded theory.

But even so, I still can't comprehend her actions.

"What's with that face? If you have something to say, spit it out already!!"

Otonashi-san seizes me by the collar once more and scowls at me again, but this time, I scowl back.

Yeah…I haven't prepared myself. I didn't really consider what it means to scowl back at her; it's a really difficult act for me to engage in.

I am completely under her control. And because I'm aware of that, that's why I'm resisting her in this way.

But I say something that snaps our tenuous bond.

"Then why did you kill me?!!"

And our ability to communicate further is destroyed.

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