Published at 26th of March 2019 12:07 am

Volume 2, Part 4

May 2nd (Saturday) 09:05

I'm surprised to find "Kazuki Hoshino" in class. I was sure he'd still be handcuffed in Maria Otonashi's room. It honestly astonishes me that he came to school despite the terrible situation he's in.

Did Maria Otonashi force him to? In order to gather more information? If so, she sure has no heart.

Not that I care. The outcome won't change either way.

Kazuki Hoshino's everyday life is going to be destroyed regardless.

After all, I arranged things so that Kazuki Hoshino's everyday life will be destroyed just by his being with Maria Otonashi.

Why did I confess to Kokone Kirino? Naturally, to destroy his everyday life.

However, there's a proper reason why I chose this specific method. How could I forgive him for hanging around with a girl like that when he's blessed with a lover like Maria Otonashi?

Therefore, I chose to put an end to that relationship by making a confession.

My method had immediately borne fruit. On top of that, the repercussions were tremendous. The confession to Kirino was far more explosive than I had expected.

I got Oomine to beat me up. In fact, the comment that brought this situation to a head was not even intended to offend her.

I merely said:

"Hey, when do I get to hear your reply?"

I simply tried to sound out the situation between us, but Kirino got shocked for some reason and broke out in tears, and Oomine overreacted and hit me.

Why did that happen? I didn't understand at the time, but in retrospect, it's obvious. "Kazuki Hoshino" and "Yuuhei Ishihara" don't share any memories, so I don't know if Kirino had already given "Kazuki Hoshino" her reply to his confession when I asked her that question. However, how would she respond to those words if she had? I can't say for sure, but I bet they would hurt her feelings.

However, I still don't know why Oomine reacted so strongly. I have heard rumors about his having special feelings for Kirino. While I haven't been able to confirm them through personal observation, they just might be true.

I didn't directly witness what I'm about to describe, but I realized this subsequently after talking to Haruaki Usui.

It seems that when I was attacked by Oomine, most of the members of class 2-3 were assuming that the quarrel started because Kazuki confessed to Kirino.

The fly in the ointment was that Maria Otonashi then showed up.

Kazuki followed her outside without hesitation, as if he were clinging to her. He completely ignored Kokone Kirino's feelings—those of the crying girl he had apparently confessed to.

And even after this incident, Kazuki Hoshino kept accompanying Maria Otonashi as if nothing had happened.

It's only natural that his classmates were enraged when he deserted the oh-so-popular Kokone Kirino. However, since Hoshino had no other choice but to rely on Maria Otonashi, he couldn't act independently.

Kazuki Hoshino is gradually losing his everyday life.

Not through my direct actions, but due to his own behavior.

Heck, this is just too great.

I inform the teacher that I need to visit the restroom and walk out into the corridor—where Maria Otonashi is already lying in wait. She speaks while frowning: "Why are you smiling?"

I suppose I started grinning without realizing it?

"Probably because you were waiting for me, Otonashi-san."

"Hmph, trying to act like Kazuki Hoshino, Yuuhei Ishihara?"

She could detect that I'm Yuuhei Ishihara that easily?

No, what's really amazing is that she rushed to class 2-3 right after our identities shifted; probably because she realized that "Kazuki Hoshino" had switched to "me."

I assume they made some kind of arrangement to alert her to the switch.

"Follow me," she says.

"Where are we going?"

She smiles faintly in response to my question.

"What's with that question? Didn't you announce your destination yourself already?"

"Huh?"

"You're going to the restroom, aren't you?"

May 2nd (Saturday) 09:14

"Are you really OK with this? Won't we both get into trouble when people find out that you're in here with Kazuki Hoshino?"

I've been led into a stall in the girls' restroom.

"...Heh," Maria Otonashi sneers, seeing how naturally I entered the stall.

What's going on in her head? It's true that the third floor restrooms in building two are hardly ever used because only special classrooms are found here—even less so while classes are being held like now—but I don't get why she went out of her way to bring me here.

"I guess so. We'd get suspended from school and singled out by our classmates."

"Throwing your hands up already? Shall we make some fuss, then?"

"Why don't you try?" she says unimpressedly and sneers at me.

...Looks like she saw right through my bluff.

I'm the one who's going to end up in Kazuki Hoshino's shoes in the near future. I have already damaged his environment more than originally planned. I can't allow myself to aggravate his position further.

"Okay Yuuhei Ishihara, open Kazuki's cell phone."

"...What's this all of a sudden?"

"Open the image file that's third from the top in the data folder."

I feel the urge to resist, but since picking a fight over this would be pointless, I do as she told me. I open the image file; it's a picture of a lovely girl in pajamas, probably self-shot.

"Tell me, who is this?" she asks.

"...Why are you asking me that?"

"I won't tell you since it would destroy the point."

What a frank answer.

I look at it again. It's a girl I don't know, but telling her that would probably be to my disadvantage.

I shift my attention to the background. It's definitely a hospital room. Come to think of it, there was a major accident nearby about two months ago. Could she be the victim? In that case, her name would be... I don't remember.

...Oh well, I'll just try a shot in the dark.

"It's Khazumi Moghy." I try saying the name the underwear-only girl, Luka Hoshino, mentioned previously.

"Too bad. You're wrong."

It didn't work, huh? I smile bitterly.

"Okay, I didn't know her name, but so what?"

"That was a lie."

"Huh?"

"Saying you were wrong was a lie. It is indeed Kasumi Mogi, although it seems you have never seen her in person," Maria Otonashi says, utterly poker faced.

"......that was dirty of you, no?"

"How so? You are naïve to think that you could get away with a guess, correct or not. Anyway, here's another question for you: How are Kazuki Hoshino and Kasumi Mogi related?"

I have no clue what she's trying to accomplish with all these questions. Well, I guess she's deliberately concealing her intent from me.

I grope for an open-ended answer.

"......they're friends."

"And?"

So Maria Otonashi won't let me get away with such a vague answer, after all.

"What can I say when I don't even know who Kasumi Mogi is?"

This is an obvious and natural answer, since I already told her that I don't know that girl. This answer should be perfectly safe.

"You don't know who Kasumi Mogi is?"

Even so, Maria Otonashi makes it sound like a fatal mistake.

"...Didn't I say so from the start? I've never seen the girl in this photo."

"Yeah, you've never seen her, that's what you said. But how is 'never seen' equivalent to 'do not know'?"

"...You're not making any sense! I have never seen her, so there's no way I'd kno—"

—Wait, that's not true.

"I see. I now have a fairly decent grasp of your true identity. You are not a member of class 2-3."

......that was what she's been shooting for.

That girl, Kasumi Mogi, probably hasn't come to school because she's been hospitalized, which explains why I haven't seen her. The students of class 2-3, however, know about her even though they may not have actually met her: Because she's their classmate and the mysterious individual whose seat is always empty.

Right, the intention of those questions was—to narrow down the pool of suspects.

"Hmph, to be honest, it seemed likely that Ryuu Miyazaki was the owner. Looks like I was wrong, though. You're not a member of class 2-3, after all."

Ryuu Miyazaki?

Why is she bringing him up?

Don't tell me that he acted on his own because I was unable to give him instructions today while captured by Otonashi-san?

"You... no, to be accurate, the owner, has to be someone who's not our classmate but knows us well. I don't think there are many people who know that much about us. He is a person Kazuki and I can easily recognize, right?"

Of course, I don't reply.

"There's one more possible clue I have found, which is about Yuuhei Ishihara. Ryuu Miyazaki called Yuuhei Ishihara his mother's lover. I was trying to understand why he mentioned that, and I came to the following logical conclusion:"

Maria Otonashi declares with conviction.

"—Yuuhei Ishihara does not exist."

I hold my breath.

"You didn't care about what name to use. But either you or Ryuu Miyazaki decided to use it to your advantage; concealing the identity of the owner by making us believe that 'Yuuhei Ishihara' really existed, right? And you chose a messy relationship involving a lover because it would be hard to investigate such a matter, right?"

He doesn't exist, therefore we can conceal him—huh? I see. She's almost right.

But she's still off. Yuuhei Ishihara is indeed Ryuu Miyazaki's mother's lover. However, you could also say that he doesn't exist anymore.

After all, Yuuhei Ishihara is already dead.

"Was that it? If so, is it my turn now?"

Maria Otonashi scowls. I guess my sudden question is making her wary.

"...What do you want to discuss?"

"The topic should attract your interest, I think! Perhaps it's even something you've been trying to tickle out of me."

I smile as I speak

"I'll explain how the Sevennight in Mud works."

May 2nd (Saturday) 10:00

I look at each object within my field of vision, collect data and regain my identity as Kazuki Hoshino. The sky. Concrete. The ground. Sand. Maria Otonashi. My hand. Kazuki Hoshino. This place is the rear of the school building. I am—me.

I'm getting used to it, since I've switched identities several times already. But precisely because I'm getting used to it, I realize:

What I am experiencing is nothing less than a temporary death.

I completely vanish during the time when I'm not myself. I don't even dream. This is a 'death' that approaches me step by step. If I don't destroy the Sevennight in Mud by May 5th, I'm going to disappear forever. In other words, I'll 'die'.

"Kazuki?" The girl in front of me asks. I nod silently, but realize that this won't suffice and add "Yes, Aya."

Otonashi-san looks at her watch and frowns.

I notice a worn-out electric guitar lying at her feet.

"This thing? I brought it over from the light music club."

It's a really old guitar, but since all the strings are new, I suppose it's still in regular use.

...I bet she took it without permission.

"You know, I fiddled around with the guitar inside the Rejecting Classroom to kill time."

Otonashi-san picks up the electric guitar and starts to play. She does so quite skillfully. In contrast, I can barely play an F-chord. She quickly stops playing and holds the guitar out to me.

"Eh?"

"Play. I know that you received your sister's guitar as a hand-me-down."

"Ah, no... I can't play very well, you know?"

"I don't care. Play the guitar while I'm speaking. If you do so, I'll know when you switch to Yuuhei Ishihara."

I see. So that's why she brought this guitar.

I'm a very poor guitar player, so it's kind of embarrassing, but I eventually start playing a famous song from a classic rock group that I remember from my practice book.

"I'm surprised you know that I've got my sister's guitar."

"There's nothing I don't know about you," she boldly says.

"...Did you not forget anything you learned within the Rejecting Classroom, Aya?" That question suddenly pops up in my head, so I ask her as I continue to clumsily play the guitar.

"Mh well, I remember everything. No... to be exact, I definitely forgot some things since there was such a long stretch of similar occurrences. But I basically remember almost everything."

Otonashi-san frowns at me.

"Was your experience different, perhaps?"

"Yeah, I don't remember much. My memories from back then are fleeting, more snapshots and blurry images than anything else. It's like how you can't remember the face of every person you pass by in town."

After hearing what I have to say, Otonashi-san's eyes widen, and she stands completely still.

"Eh? What's wrong?"

"Ah, no—"

Upon noticing her obvious confusion, I feel even more perplexed than she seems to be.

"So you remember almost nothing of what we did together inside the box?"

"W-Well, yeah."

"I...see..."

Otonashi-san remains silent for some reason. As I wait for her to continue, I look at her, but she hurriedly averts her eyes.

"Now that you mention it, it's entirely plausible. There's no way you'd retain your memories the way I did, because you aren't an owner. I see, everything finally makes sense. So that's why—" she continues murmuring with eyes averted "—that's why you call me Aya."

"Eh?"

"Nevermind."

Otonashi-san regains her self-confidence and scowls at me.

"Hey, Kazuki. You stopped playing the guitar."

I hurriedly start playing again. Since I've lost my place, I start from the beginning of the song.

"Geez, because you were babbling about trivialities, I couldn't get to the important stuff."

"Sorry. So back to relevancy?"

"...Hm, let's see. Since I still don't know whether I can believe what Yuuhei Ishihara told me, I'll leave that out for now. I want to discuss this new box while I'm still confident that you're 'Kazuki Hoshino.'"

I nod and ask her to begin.

"You should understand that there are different kinds of boxes. It might be a flawed explanation, but just to keep it simple, there are boxes that operate internally and there are boxes that operate externally. While the Rejecting Classroom was more of an internal box, the Sevennight in Mud is more of an external box."

"Hm? What's the difference?"

"An internal box arises if an owner considers his wish to be impossible in the real world. For example, Kasumi Mogi, who was the owner of the Rejecting Classroom, didn't believe that it was possible to relive the past. So she created a space removed from the real world where she could believe in her wish. Mogi crammed herself and her classmates into a box where she could believe that her wish was possible."

I nod while continuing to play the guitar.

"An external box arises when an owner believes that his wish can occur in the real world. The owner of the Sevennight in Mud seems to believe that his wish can be granted through the power of the box. Indeed, taking over a body may seem plausible in real life, which means that there's no need to create a special space outside of reality. That's linked to why I still cannot properly perceive this box."

"I'll need some time to digest this, but... in short, a box will become external if you believe that your wish can actually come true in the real world, and internal otherwise?"

"Yeah, that's it more or less. If we rated them numerically with a maximum score of 10, the Rejecting Classroom would get an internal score of 9 and the Sevennight in Mud would get an external score of 4. The higher the external score, the more that box will affect reality."

It's obvious that the influence of the Rejecting Classroom was almost nonexistent, since the classmates involved can't even remember it.

In other words, does that mean that the Sevennight in Mud is different?

"Ah—"

I notice the cruel nature of my current situation.

I'm scorned by all of my classmates. What's more, my relationships with Daiya, Kokone and Haruaki have all been messed up.

"So—so—, my ruined everyday life—"

"Exactly, it won't return."

The hand I was playing the guitar with comes to a halt.

The sounds coming from the guitar vanish.

It won't return? My everyday life won't return? My everyday life will remain corroded by the preternatural?

So—it doesn't exist anymore.

The thing I want to regain doesn't even exist anymore.

The moment I realize this, my sight turns black as if all the breakers of this world had been turned off in a single blow. I mean, I no longer have any goal. It's pointless to destroy that box.

I completely lose sight of everything.

I don't care anymore.

I start staggering away. Otonashi-san says something, and I say something in reply. I have no idea what she said or what I said, and I don't care.

I want to scream.

But even when I scream, there is no one who can rescue me.

May 2nd (Saturday) 11:00

I'm in a convenience store for some reason, holding a weekly manga magazine. I check the time on Kazuki Hoshino's cell phone. I should be in my third period class right now... so why am I in a convenience store?

I look around, but Maria Otonashi is nowhere to be seen.

What's the meaning of this? They wouldn't have broken up, would they?

I worry that this might be a trap, but I can't ignore this opportunity to get in contact with Ryuu Miyazaki.

I enter his phone number from memory. The phone rings repeatedly; well, he should be in class, so he won't be able to answer the phone right away.

I cancel the call and clear the outgoing call log. Ryuu Miyazaki immediately calls me back.

"Hello? Ryuu Miyazaki?"

"......Hey, why are you using my full name?" he asks, seeming a bit ill-tempered.

"I am no one. 'Someone' you remember might have called you something different, I thought this was most natural for 'me.'"

"...Uh-huh. So, you want something from me, right? What is it?"

"Don't you mind that you have classes right now?"

"...You're the most important thing."

"What a thing for the class president to say… but I'm happy that you feel this way. Okay, I'd like to discuss how we should proceed."

"I don't think we should talk about that at school. Why don't you come over to my apartment?"

"I don't mind... But you realize that I can't tell whether 12:00 is my turn or not, right?"

"That's why I proposed my apartment. We just have to restrain Kazuki Hoshino in that place before 12:00. 13:00 is your turn again, isn't it?"

"Okay, so let me teach you a nice way to restrain someone! It's actually how Maria Otonashi tricked me, you know—"

I explain what she did with handcuffs and footcuffs.

"Cuffs, huh? Sounds good. So can you buy some before we meet?"

"Sure."

"You know where I live, right?"

"Yeah. Later then."

I end the call and clear the call history with a few swift clicks.

Ryuu Miyazaki's apartment, huh?

Now that I think about it, this'll be my first time there. Until now, I held back from going there myself. How ironic that I'm only able to go there now that I am in a different body.

May 2nd (Saturday) 11:47

Ryuu Miyazaki's apartment is in a two-story wooden building, far less luxe than the complex that Maria Otonashi lives in; there are certainly no features like self-locking doors. I walk to his room on the second floor and ring the bell.

Ryuu Miyazaki promptly shows his face.

"Here—a present."

I hand him a brown paper bag containing a pair of handcuffs and footcuffs. Ryuu Miyazaki accepts it with almost no change in expression.

I take off my shoes and enter the room. It's about the size of six tatami mats. Although it's very cramped, he's been keeping things neat and tidy. As I sit down on the floor, I'm amazed by how much space his computer alone takes up.

"Ah right, I've been waiting to complain. You acted on your own and told Maria Otonashi some unnecessary things, didn't you?"

Ryuu Miyazaki smiles wryly. "The first thing out of your mouth is a complaint?"

"That girl picked up on your attempt to conceal our link. She already noticed that we are working together."

"So it's as I expected."

I raise an eyebrow because he seems to speak without a qualm.

"...I don't get it. So you deliberately revealed that you're my ally?"

"Duh, I guess so?"

Hey... that sounds like a really lame excuse.

"Maria Otonashi got suspicious just because I tried to reach out to Kazuki Hoshino. She's not some regular girl; so I concluded that I wouldn't be able to deceive her."

"But there's no need to go out of your way to tell her!"

"...Your goal is to make Kazuki Hoshino submit, right?"

"So what if it is?"

"Otonashi will definitely block your efforts, because you cannot attack Kazuki Hoshino directly. In other words, you can only attack 'Kazuki Hoshino' via Otonashi. But as you know, she's brilliant. Any attack through Otonashi would be easily parried."

"You do have a point, you know, but..."

"So I came up with the idea that you just need someone who can attack Kazuki Hoshino directly, instead of via Otonashi. Of course I'm the only one who can handle that."

"True..."

"That's why it's best to clearly demonstrate that I'm on your side. But if I had made it too easy for her to find out, she would have been suspicious. That's why I chose a roundabout approach!" he says indifferently.

A wry smile spontaneously floats onto my face. I didn't think he'd been so thorough. He's proven even more reliable than I imagined.

"I already have a plan up my sleeve."

"Tell me more."

"We'll show him a corpse," he suggests.

"Do you really think that will make him fall into despair? Sure, he'd be shocked after seeing a corpse, but…you know..."

Upon hearing my objections, Ryuu Miyazaki starts to grin.

"And what if we told him that he just killed that person?"

This is—most interesting.

I start to smile as well.

"Don't you worry; I'll make Kazuki Hoshino fall into despair without fail," Ryuu Miyazaki declares as he ransacks the bag I gave him, and throws me a pair of handcuffs.

May 2nd (Saturday) 12:00

Who is the guy in front of me? I peer at him and notice the sharp gaze of Ryuu Miyazaki, only without the filter of his glasses.

Why is Miyazaki-kun...?

I'm cuffed, hand-and-foot, in a small room that I have never seen before. The gravity of my situation is quite clear.

What exactly did I do before I switched? ...I can't remember. When I had realized that my ordinary life wouldn't return, my sight went black—and then I ended up in this room before I knew it.

"This is my room. I restrained you."

"...Why?"

"Why, you ask? Didn't 'Yuuhei Ishihara' explain it to you? It's to make you surrender."

In other words, Miyazaki-kun is acting for the sake of Yuuhei Ishihara, and not for himself?

"Hoshino, has Otonashi explained the details of this box?"

I shake my head.

"So she kept it secret, huh. Well, that's probably a wise decision. Yuuhei Ishihara said that he had told her with the expectation that she'd inform you, you know?"

Come to think of it, I think she was about to tell me something that she had heard from Yuuhei Ishihara.

"I'll explain it to you instead! ...haha! Things are really so much more straightforward now that I've revealed my enmity."

"...enmity? What?"

"Never mind that. ...so, you know that this box will erase your existence within one week, right?"

"Yes ...But may I first point something out?"

"What is it?"

"I cannot trust anything you say. After all, you're my enemy, aren't you? I can't just accept your explanation at face value since you've been trying to deceive me from day one."

"Quite right." Miyazaki-kun readily accepts my words and doesn't show any unease. "I've started to wonder if I have what it takes to be a con artist—that's my new discovery. But I'm only going to tell you the truth now. Feel free to verify it on your own. If you don't want to listen, just cover your ears. ...Well, you can't really do that because of the handcuffs..." he says emotionlessly. He approaches me and hands over a piece of paper cut out from a notebook.

00-01 01-02 23-24 1st day

02-03 03-04 04-05 2nd day

11-12 13-14 15-16 3rd day

09-10 4th day

5th day

6th day

7th day End

"This is a note that Yuuhei Ishihara gave me."

Which means that Yuuhei Ishihara wrote it. His handwriting, and his rounded letters, is surprisingly neat.

"Today's the fourth day."

'09-10' is all that was written on the fourth line. Though there are always three number pairs, this line only has one. There were none after that, either.

"What on earth do those numbers mean...?"

"Hoshino, haven't you noticed that your time decreases day by day?"

"...Huh?"

"Your time as 'Kazuki Hoshino' gets stolen by 'Yuuhei Ishihara' bit by bit everyday! This note is a listing of the hours that have been stolen from you. For example, '00-01' means that the time from 00:00 until 01:00 has been stolen from 'Kazuki Hoshino' by 'Yuuhei Ishihara.'"

I take another look at the note. The pair of numbers, '09-10', can be found on today's date row. Which means that Yuuhei Ishihara controlled my body today from nine o'clock until ten o'clock. Indeed, I wasn't conscious at that time.

"So he just steals three hours of my day? It doesn't increase?"

"...hey, you ought to think a little more before you speak. I said 'the time gets stolen.' That time isn't stolen only that day. That time stays in the possession of 'Yuuhei Ishihara' thereafter. For example, the hour that has been stolen from you between 00:00 and 01:00 won't be yours again."

I still have trouble understanding.

"Gosh, do you still not get it? Mh... maybe it's easier if you divide one day into 24 blocks and imagine having three of them stolen every day. Your blocks decrease to 21 on the first day, 18 on the second day, 15 on the third day. And on the seventh day, there will only be 3 blocks left. The moment the date changes to the eighth day, none will remain. In other words: Game Over."

I finally understand.

I also understand why he explained this to me. You'd think that teaching me about the Sevennight in Mud is a disadvantage for Yuuhei Ishihara. The reason he taught me anyway is—

"Ah, it seems like you noticed. You get it, right? Therefore, this can't be a lie. A lie yields hope when you realize that it's a lie. On the other hand, when you realize that a cruel fact is really true, you fall into even deeper despair. And you have to realize, if you think back a little, that this is really what's happening to you, right?"

Right. My body tells me that it's the truth, too.

"Shall I do the math for you? 'Kazuki Hoshino' has 7 blocks left today, including the time now, 9 tomorrow on May 3rd, 6 on May 4th, and 3 on May 5th. Counting just your full blocks, that's 24 altogether. Do you get it? You don't even have one day's time left!"

Miyazaki-kun spoke in order to corner me.

"To corner you by telling you the truth. This is why Yuuhei Ishihara revealed this information. Thus, I'm telling you the unvarnished truth."

"I still have four days left." I really had been thinking that way. But that was a big mistake. The direction of the battle has already tipped in Yuuhei Ishihara's favor.

When considering the time we spend in this body, "Kazuki Hoshino" has already become the minority existence.

Furthermore, Yuuhei Ishihara has Ryuu Miyazaki as his partner.

Oh. It really is hopeless already.

"I'm surprised that you're so composed."

Now that he mentions it... Despite this hopeless situation, I feel calm.

Which is... understandable.

After all, I already fell into despair, even without this latest piece of bad news.

"Hey, Miyazaki-kun. May I ask you something?"

"What is it?"

"Why do you assist Yuuhei Ishihara?"

My question seems to have been unexpected—Miyazaki-kun keeps silent.

"You wouldn't assist him if there weren't a really important reason, would you? Furthermore, if Yuuhei Ishihara told you that he's controlling my body, you wouldn't readily believe such a thing. Right?"

...Mhh, yeah. Let me try to trick him.

"Here's a reason—for example—you are actually Yuuhei Ishihara."

An ridiculous argument which would be cause for great amusement if it were wrong.

But Miyazaki-kun maintains his sharp gaze and keeps quiet.

"......I'm Yuuhei Ishihara, huh? Well—"

Miyazaki-kun smiles bitterly and continues.

"That's right."

"—Huh?"

His unexpected words make me lose my speech.

"Honestly, I was already tired of it. I would never have dreamed that hiding it would exhaust me like this. So I want to explain where I'm coming from to get some relief."

Miyazaki-kun sighs. He seems very tired.

"Hoshino. Is there something that's important to you?"

"...There is."

Maybe 'there was' would be more accurate. My everyday life has been destroyed, after all.

"So you should be able to understand my feelings. In my opinion, a truly important thing is not something you take care of with utmost devotion nor something you concentrate your lovey-dovey love on. I think a really important thing is something that becomes your stem. So if it is lost, you end up broken as if your spine were removed and end up an empty shell. Therefore, a truly important thing is—equal to oneself."

"Your 'that's right' just now didn't imply that you are 'Yuuhei Ishihara,' right?"

"Of course not. If I were him, I would never permit such detestable behavior."

But he is supporting such behavior on the part of Yuuhei Ishihara, because Yuuhei Ishihara is so important to him.

"If this is his wish, I'll make it happen. I'll do anything to protect him, even if it's wrong."

His attitude is neither proud nor stubborn. He bitterly bites his lips and his eyes show resignation, but his will is utterly unwavering.

"...I understand what you mean! But why is Yuuhei Ishihara so important to you?"

Miyazaki-kun mutters a "...hm" and continues.

"Probably... no, not probably. I'm sure of it. He's so important to me because—"

He spits out some words, seeming displeased.

"—I'm their older brother."

"Older brother? Huh?" I couldn't immediately comprehend his interjection. "So you were lying about your relationship with Yuuhei Ishihara? ...huh? But...eeh..."

"Yuuhei Ishihara is my mother's lover. That's true."

"...umm, so, Yuuhei Ishihara and 'Yuuhei Ishihara' are completely different individuals to begin with?"

"Yeah. Using that bastard's name made everything more complicated, but you're right."

"So your younger brother's inside me, not Yuuhei Ishihara..."

Is Yuuhei Ishihara so important to Miyazaki-kun that he calls himself "Yuuhei Ishihara," just because they're blood related? ...no, I can't really understand this level of emotion. I have an older sister, and of course she's important to me. But I'd never do anything like this for Luu-chan.

"Didn't I tell you about my family environment." Miyazaki-kun says, without directly addressing my question.

"Everything I said was true, except I concealed that I'm his brother. The divorce destroyed my life. Children have to rely on their parents, but my parents told me 'We don't need you!'. That I'm a hindrance. That I'm trash. That I'm a mistake. My entire life was destroyed. It may sound clichéd, but I was in total despair. I no longer felt human anymore."

He smiles in self-derision and continues.

"But I wasn't the only one who no longer felt human. My brother, who remained in my mother's custody—that other non-human saved me. I guess my dependence was unhealthy, but I came back to life thanks to it. He became my stem and I could no more live without him than my spine."

He scowls at me.

"I don't ever want to be no longer human again. I will protect—myself."

I thoroughly understand that Miyazaki-kun's younger brother is precious to him.

"...But I can't comprehend it."

Miyazaki-kun wordlessly urges me to continue.

"How will 'he' find true happiness by becoming Kazuki Hoshino? I don't think you're helping by protecting him. I believe he has to find the right way to be himself."

"You're right, I guess."

Surprisingly, Miyazaki-kun agrees without hesitation.

"So—"

"Don't bother to spell it out! I know. I'm aware of all that, but it's already too late!"

"...Huh?"

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