Published at 26th of March 2019 12:07 am

Volume 4, Part 8

Sixth Day {C} [Secret Meeting] with [Maria Otonashi], [Kazuki Hoshino]'s room

[Iroha Shindou] dead

[Yuuri Yanagi] dead

[Daiya Oomine] -> [Maria Otonashi] 16:20~16:50

[Kazuki Hoshino] -> [Maria Otonashi] 15:00~16:00

[Koudai Kamiuchi] -> [Kazuki Hoshino] 16:20~16:50

[Maria Otonashi] -> [Kazuki Hoshino] 15:00~16:00

It seems like Daiya succeeded at talking him around. In the end, Koudai Kamiuchi didn't do anything for the day.

But it was obvious to the eye that he could barely manage to behave himself today. He is unable to conceal the thirst for violence inside him any longer, and dyes his surroundings in it.

I know that pitch black atmosphere that almost seems to consist of boiled down desire from a certain Master Room.

There's still something Daiya is overlooking.

That is, how Maria is going to move.

Daiya's plan will only be executed if the time passes. The «real Daiya» won't move until shortly before we turn into mummies because our food portions run out. I know that.

But Maria doesn't know of his plan, of course. She still thinks I'm going to die if the time limit draws near.

Of course, she will try to make me win in [Kingdom Royale] so that I can survive...while knowing that my victory conditions can't be met as long as she's alive.

In other words---

Maria is going to die for my victory conditions if I don't do something.

In order to prevent that, I have to persuade her. But I know very well that Maria doesn't bend that easily.

That's why I asked Daiya to pacify Koudai Kamiuchi.

I couldn't kill him right then. Because, for persuading her, I wanted Maria to see.

---See how I kill Koudai Kamiuchi.

I confront Maria who has arrived at my room.

I wonder why?

Now that I have figured out my goal, I feel like something's terribly out of place when looking at Maria.

Maria's silhouette looks blurred as if my eyes have lost their focus.

"Kazuki."

She doesn't sit down next to me after all.

I guess she still doesn't admit that I'm «Kazuki Hoshino». She won't approve of me as things stand now, although I figured out my goal.

"It seems like I need to die, after all."

Therefore, I can't stop her foolishness if things stay like this.

"Otherwise I'm going to stand in your way for sure, Kazuki. You wouldn't be able to win in [Kingdom Royale], either. But hey, fortunately I'm just an NPC. There's nothing to worry about."

She says, carelessly.

I can't help but sigh.

As I thought, it will be most difficult to stop Maria.

"Maria, you don't have to worry about that anymore."

"Why?"

"Because I'll kill Koudai Kamiuchi!"

"------"

Maria's bereft of speech for an instant, but she recovers from her astonishment right away.

"I really don't understand you anymore."

Maria frowns.

"So you conspired with Oomine, huh. And you readily made the worst possible choice on top of that."

"I've already decided."

"...I see," Maria looks away, "I don't even consider murder as a method. Using such a means to solve something is, however effective it may be, nothing but an atrocity. I once said something similar in the 'Rejecting Classroom'... but, well, you don't remember, huh."

It would be a lie to say that I didn't feel anything, confronted with Maria's attitude of refusal. But I don't step back, even while being hurt by her words.

"It's much more awry to commit suicide."

"If it's about humans, yes. But I am a 'box'."

"Don't make such an excuse! You definitely know that I don't wish for that!"

Maria widens her eyes when she hears my scream.

"......are you still talking about this nonsense? Why have you become so soft? You should have what it takes! You should be able to prioritize your «everyday life» over me!"

Aren't you the one still talking nonsense?

I should be the one to say that!

I take a step forward and touch the monitor while being watched suspiciously by Maria. A message appears on the monitor.

«Do you want to kill [Koudai Kamiuchi] by using [Deathblow]?»

I'll show her, then.

I'll show Maria that I have changed. That's the one and only reason I postponed killing him for a day.

And then I'll have her trust the changed me.

I'll have her understand that she doesn't need to die.

For that purpose, I reach out for the letters «KILL?» that cover Koudai Kamiuchi's eyes.

"S-Stop!!"

Maria rushes to me with wide-open eyes and grabs my arm.

"......Why?"

Honestly, I didn't expect her to panic so hard.

"...What do you mean?"

Maria asks back, her eyes slightly averted.

"Why do you dislike the thought of me changing so much? Sure enough, it's not good at all to do this. But is it really something you need to stop on any account? Both of us may be saved by doing that, you know?"

I recall our [Secret Meeting] yesterday.

«You look exactly like Kazuki Hoshino, and that makes you --- scary.»

"Why do you fear my change so much?"

"......"

Maria can't answer this question.

"Just in case: it's no use if you stop me from pressing the button! Even if you hold me back right now, I will just press the button when you're gone."

"...I know."

But contrary to her words, she puts in more strength.

"I've become emotional, that's why I'm stopping you. Yeah, I admit it. I absolutely don't want you to change."

"...But it's too late."

Maria gazes at me as I murmur this.

"...It seems so."

And lets go of my arm.

"I can't stop you anymore, can I?"

I keep looking at her, not understanding why she grieves over something like that. As if to answer my glance, Maria opens her mouth.

"Tell me, Kazuki. What's my goal?"

She asks with a voice that sounds tragic in a way.

"Obtaining a 'box', right?"

"Exactly. I am trying to obtain a 'box'. I seek after the 'box' in order to make my 'wish' complete. I'm only together with you because 'O' seems to be interested in you. That's a just cause."

"......Yeah."

"But I'm a 'box'. A being that's not allowed to be part of anyone's everyday life. Therefore, I'm naturally not supposed to be at someone's side. I mustn't associate with anyone too deeply because I would destroy his everyday life. I can only be with you because there's a just cause."

"......"

"You started to change. I can't even guess your thoughts by your expression anymore. Bit by bit, that certain special connection between us has disappeared. ...well, our relationship was just a byproduct brought forth by Mogi's feelings, so it might only be natural that this would happen."

"That's---"

When I'm about to deny it reflexively, Maria stops me by covering my mouth.

"I don't need a tender lie. You should feel that we stopped being special, too."

"......Uh..."

"You're about to kill Koudai Kamiuchi. I know that your values won't return to how they were once you kill someone, even if it's an NPC. You're going to change even more. Your abnormal attachment to your everyday life will decrease and you'll become unable to master the 'box', like everyone else. And do you know what happens then?"

Maria says,

"'O' loses interest."

Her hands aren't covering my mouth anymore, but I'm still unable to open it.

"You ought to welcome that 'O' will leave you. In fact, I should be happy for you, too. But I can't delight from the bottom of my heart. Not because I'll lose the clue to obtaining a 'box'. But because, when 'O' loses interest in you, I---"

"I lose the just cause that lets me be with you, Kazuki."

Saying that, Maria presses her head against my shoulder.

"As soon 'O' doesn't shadow you anymore, I'll have to leave your side. Well, of course. I'm not able to achieve my goal otherwise."

Aah, so that was it.

The thing Maria was afraid of for all the time since yesterday. No, even before then.

It's---

It's --- farewell.

"Kazuki, I won't stop you anymore."

Maria removes her head from my shoulder.

"I wasn't allowed to stop you, really. I don't have the right to, nor do I need to. But still, I should have known."

Maria speaks with a resigned, gentle smile.

"That being able to be by your side is just a pipe dream."

"------"

Unable to look at her anymore, I turn towards the monitor.

To the message «Do you want to kill [Koudai Kamiuchi] by using [Deathblow]?», in my imagination, I add the following line: «Will you accept the farewell with [Maria Otonashi]?».

"...There's,"

...no way I could accept that.

What is that! As soon I try to protect Maria, I have to bid her farewell?! Even though I know that she's going to keep crying all alone once we've parted?!

«I can't bear your death. It breaks my heart. I don't want that. I want to be with you.»

Why can I never do anything?

Why can't I do anything while knowing of Maria Otonashi's feelings for me...!

...There must be a way. Being the «Knight», I should be able to free the captured Maria by killing someone.

Who is the one that tries to compel Maria into being all alone?

I think. Think, think, thinkthinkthinkthinkthink---

"------Ah."

......I see.

"---Haa!"

I got it. I finally know who my enemy is!

Why didn't I notice earlier? The enemy was always close to me. We even met! And I even perceived that certain person as my enemy in the very beginning!

Freed from my doubt, I reach out for the button once again. «Do you want to kill [Koudai Kamiuchi] by using [Deathblow]?» I read the message and decide without any hesitation.

Yeah, I'll kill him!

I press the button that's displayed on Koudai Kamiuchi's picture.

"------Aah,"

Maria lets out a long sigh.

"The pipe dream just ended, huh."

"No!"

Indeed, I've just officially become a murderer and changed.

What I define as the «everyday life» I want to protect has changed.

I guess 'O' is going to leave me, as well is Maria as soon she realizes.

But---

"The person that's standing here right now is Maria without the 'Flawed Bliss'."

If everything goes as planned, Maria will be able to get out of the 'Game of Idleness' without having a [vicarious experience].

She won't remember this conversation.

She will still be in the dark about my change.

"You aren't a 'box' when you don't have the 'Flawed Bliss'."

Maria seems to have trouble getting my point and looks at me with wide eyes.

"I told you in the second round that «It's my job to protect you when you have lost your 'box'». I will maintain this determination. Therefore, I will keep protecting you from the devils' clutches."

"...devils' clutches? Like Kamiuchi and Oomine?"

"From them, too, but the greatest enemy is someone else."

My goal has become saving Maria.

So, who has been hindering me the most from achieving that in the 'Game of Idleness'... no, even before that?

Who is the detestable enemy that makes Maria think she had to throw her own life away?

What has to be done that Maria doesn't have to die?

Originally, she shouldn't have even needed my support to survive. With her skills, it shouldn't be too hard to win [Kingdom Royale] when she's the player.

But Maria can absolutely not kill anyone. She would rather neglect her own life.

That's why she can definitely not win the 'Game of Idleness'.

So, what has to be done that she's able to win in [Kingdom Royale]?

I, the «Knight», have once pledged:

I'll save her, even if it means to betray everyone and make everyone my enemy.

Maria answered to that,

She has been waiting for me, it being her only strength.

Be it consciously or not, Maria is aware that she's being captured. And also that she can't do anything about it on her own.

By whom is she captured? Who's trying to make her the «king»? Who do I have to kill in order to free her?

I've finally got it.

"It's «Aya Otonashi»."

This is the name of my enemy.

The enemy I'm going to oppose from now on, and whom I've been opposing for a lifetime.

"I will defeat «Aya Otonashi». I'll teach her that there's no despair that can't be solved by one's everyday life and that there's no need to use a 'box'."

There will be no farewell then.

Geez... «Aya Otonashi», how dare you involve «Maria Otonashi»! You're the only one that can't be together with me!

"------What's that supposed to mean?"

Maria's eyes are wide open.

Fair enough. In those repeating days, Maria was able to finally form the ideal self, «Aya Otonashi», she's been longing for. And yet I'm telling her that I'm going to destroy that.

"Is that a --- proclamation of war?"

I answer with a smile.

"It's not!"

It might be a proclamation of war if I told it to the Maria in the real world. And after getting to know how I think, she would leave me.

But we're in [Kingdom Royale] here. It won't remain in Maria's memory.

"I know the Maria of the first 'school transfer'."

Maria's eyes are still wide open - apparently she doesn't understand why I've suddenly told her that.

"I can remember almost nothing of that time! But I know that there was a Maria who hadn't completely changed into «Aya Otonashi» yet. And I also remember that she said this:"

I repeat.

I repeat the words Maria has said when she stood on the podium that time.

"I want someone to be by my side."

She clamps her lips and gazes fixedly at me.

"Maria. You aren't a 'box' right now. So, please tell me. Please tell me your, «Maria Otonashi's» feelings, and not those from «Aya Otonashi's» point of view."

"......Kazuki."

A tender smile flashes on her face for a second, but her expression changes immediately to a stern one. She strains her lips and turns her back to me.

"I understood what you want me to say. But I can't say it. No matter how much you say I'm not «Aya Otonashi» right now, that doesn't mean that I can return to how I once was. I always wanted to be a 'box' and I still want to be one, even now. Saying what you want me to say is equal to denying my own intentions. Therefore---"

She clenches her fists.

"Therefore, I can't possibly say it."

Maria says,

"I can't possibly say that I want you to save the lonely «Maria Otonashi»."

Aah.

That's more than enough.

Maria's feelings have reached me.

Now I have the resolve to defeat «Aya Otonashi» without holding back.

"I won't leave you alone!"

Suddenly, a new thought strikes me.

I know the Maria from the first 'school transfer'. But even then, she may have not completely turned into «Aya Otonashi» yet, but she was already an 'owner'. She already had a will of iron at that time.

But was she really how «Maria Otonashi» was originally?

I don't think so. Originally she should have been more like an ordinary girl.

So, I don't know Maria Otonashi from when she was just a girl one year below me.

I don't know the Maria from the 0th time, that hadn't done a single 'school transfer' yet.

I'm sure that girl's inside Maria even now, crying. She's crying at the ground of that sea inside Maria's chest.

She's crying, all alone.

I will go meet her, then.

"I will go meet the Zero no Mariazeroth Maria."

I'll go meet her, take her with me, embrace her and stay by her side.

I believe that that this is how Maria can truly become happy, therefore I will do it.

Maria had stopped clenching her fists at some point. I can't read her emotions from her rather downcast, gloomy face.

With purposely erased expression, Maria totters to me and presses her head against my chest.

"...I'm going to become a 'box'. I'm going to live for the sake of others. ...so, please stop. Please don't try to protect me anymore."

She says these silly things with a frail voice I've never heard from her before.

Therefore, I'll answer her.

"Got it. I'll definitely go meet her!"

"...hey... you haven't got it at all. I don't want to let you suffer. I don't want you to become unhappy by associating too deeply with me. You're supposed to get away from me as soon as possible."

"Don't worry, I'll stay by your side!"

"Please go... please, part with me......"

There's no way I'd obey.

I mean, these are the words of my enemy, aren't they?

Therefore, I defy this request by embracing Maria.

Her body is so slender--it can definitely not be called strong--that, although I've already embraced her several times, I can't help but be surprised again at this helplessness of hers.

But I won't be surprised the next time.

Because I'm sure that this is the right impression. «Maria Otonashi» is just a young girl, so this helpless impression has to be correct.

"Maria."

Maria doesn't answer to my calls anymore. She only tries to hide her expression by pressing her head against my chest.

I'm confident that she has an expression right now she wouldn't ever show in reality. An expression she banned when she vowed to never depend on anyone.

I guess she can have this expression only because she has no 'box' right now. Just because we're in [Kingdom Royale], she's slightly showing me a part of her true self, something she would never ever show me in reality.

If it's now, my words may reach «Maria Otonashi».

They may reach her in all honesty without being repelled by «Aya Otonashi».

I'm about to open my mouth, when---

"Kazuki."

She tells me. The girl that embraces me with her trembling arms tells me,

"Even so, this is still a pipe dream."

I know.

Therefore, I will change that fate.

Sixth Day {C} [Secret Meeting] with [Koudai Kamiuchi], [Kazuki Hoshino]'s room

Even so, Maria won't become «Aya Otonashi» anymore in this game. Therefore, she won't die on her own accord.

I've done everything that had to be done.

This [Secret Meeting] is nothing but a diversion.

«The decIded [Deathblow] - will be exEcuted - even when the - [Knight] diEs!»

According to the rules, [Deathblow] gets executed five minutes before the end of the {C}-block. Thus, Koudai Kamiuchi does still live for now.

But he has no means to survive.

After getting that confirmation from Noitan, Koudai Kamiuchi throws his knife on the table, smiling wryly.

"No use killing you, huh. Uwaa... Looks like I'm finished."

He says lightheartedly as if it was about someone else, scratching his head.

Koudai Kamiuchi doesn't voice a single grudge even though the person that initiated his death stands before his very eyes. He doesn't even get emotional. Probably, he only thinks it was a failure to follow Daiya.

Even though he's going to die.

I gaze at the knife he has thrown away.

The 'Game of Idleness', purely made to ward off boredom, huh.

Until now, I was unable to understand his extremely momentary way of thinking. That hasn't changed. But when it became clear that he's the 'owner' of the 'Game of Idleness' and I realized that this atmosphere belongs to Koudai Kamiuchi, there were some things I could figure out.

Koudai Kamiuchi can't acquire the feeling of living in reality.

Everything that happens in his surroundings seems to him like being in a game; he doesn't feel directly affected. Since he's like that, I don't think [Kingdom Royale] is so special for him. That's also why his 'wish' could become an external 'box' while being so unrealistic.

Because of this nature, he also feels no sense of danger from being killed. Neither does he have feelings of guilt; it doesn't feel real to him even when he kills people, after all. I can understand that he would start to live for the moment and seek pleasure, then.

That's not so special, although it seldom gets this extreme. Even I can't claim that it felt real to me when I knew that I would die when losing this game.

That's where I stop thinking.

I mean, understanding him is pointless.

I take the knife on the table.

"Oh? What're you up to? Ah, perhaps you're angry that I killed Kaichou, so you want to kill me with your own hands?"

I shake my head.

"Not at all! I don't intend to have a dialogue with you. It's someone else who will, as it seems."

Koudai Kamiuchi looks puzzled at me.

"Noitan."

«What iS - it?»

The green bear, who's still being displayed on the screen, answers.

"I think you are the symbolic figure for the 'Game of Idleness', Noitan. I think that if we took the nature of people that have only interest in killing time and made a mascot out of it, it would turn out like you."

«Mhh?»

"There's something I've always wanted to tell you."

Then I swing my knife towards the monitor and thrust it into it with all my might.

The knife's stuck in the green center.

"You're disgusting."

A crack appears in the middle of Noitan's forehead.

«------A?»

The disgusting green bear disperses on the monitor. He turns into hundreds of pieces like a uncompleted puzzle. Noitan still curses at me «What're ya doing, bastard!» but his usual widely opened eyes aren't displayed on the broken monitor anymore. Only red fragments of those bloodshot eyes and his open mouth are still flickering.

It almost looks like he's bleeding.

But Noitan keeps cursing, unable to feel any pain from this disastrous scene. As if he hasn't realized the situation he is in.

It's pitiful.

Not noticing that, is pitiful.

Noitan then becomes even unable to maintain being just a hundreds of flickering green and red dots. He slowly stops flickering, loses the light and eventually disappears.

"...was there a meaning in doing that? You just destroyed the monitor, that's all."

Koudai Kamiuchi says coldly.

"So, what do you consider a meaningful action?"

"Hah...?"

Koudai Kamiuchi opens his mouth like a fool.

"Aah, well, maybe that doesn't exist, huh. After all, everybody dies eventually."

He gives me the answer I expected.

"Koudai Kamiuchi. Let's assume there was a person who couldn't find any meaning in things other than killing time."

"What's with that, all of a sudden? And hey, didn't you omit the «-kun» just now?"

I continue, ignoring him.

"How can one win against such a person?"

"Jeez... what are you talking about? And anyway, that example's me, right? I gather that much! But in that case, I guess it's impossible to win against that guy, heh?"

"Why?"

"To make him lose, you see, he would have to come into the ring you're in, right? If you throw things at a spectator outside the ring, then that's just brute violence."

I see. Indeed, he's right.

"I see."

I speak.

"So I just have to make you realize that you are in the ring."

When I say this, Koudai Kamiuchi's jaw drops open.

But he still hasn't realized. He has not realized that every one of us is in this ring, all the time.

And he has doubtlessly lost now, being destined to die.

A bad excuse like «I don't remember having fought, so I haven't lost» won't hold now.

But I didn't feel like making him admit that now. I just keep saying what I think.

"You said that there are no meaningful things, right?"

"...yeah."

"I don't know what has a meaning and what doesn't. Therefore, I think like this: I'll find a meaning then. I'll even find a meaning in this pastime of someone's."

I figured out my goal in the 'Game of Idleness'.

I think that is very meaningful.

I found a meaning in this 'box', in the 'Game of Idleness' that's supposed to be meaningless.

I wonder if I can say the following then?

---I have denied the 'Game of Idleness'.

But he was unable to do that, therefore he kept losing, averting his eyes from reality, and he's going to keep losing, until he eventually breaks into pieces like Noitan.

But as I said, it's not me who will teach him that.

The one that will defeat Koudai Kamiuchi is Daiya Oomine.

However---

- [Koudai Kamiuchi], death because of [Deathblow].

Tenth Day {D} [Big Room]

However, a certain thought persists in me.

"I would have done better."

The food portions of Yuuri-san and the others have run out; only two portions are left in total. I have handed those to Daiya and Maria, so I'm already out of food.

It's finally time for the «real Daiya» to get started.

I suddenly think:

Daiya was only able to pull off all that secret maneuvering because his turn came before mine. If I had been first, it would be me that's confronting Koudai Kamiuchi.

In that case, I wouldn't have needed to have such a hard fight.

At best, we wouldn't even have had to play [Kingdom Royale].

Yuuri-san and Iroha-san wouldn't have had to suffer so much, at least, and I'm sure there wouldn't have been the need to kill Koudai Kamiuchi.

I think, while gazing at the blue watch Daiya has returned to me.

I guess Daiya was wishing for this awful outcome. So he is my enemy, after all.

But he shouldn't truly be wishing for all that. He may not be aware of it, but he should have wanted to see an outcome where everyone can smile.

"That's what you get when you think of the 'box' as hope!"

Daiya doesn't react to my words and just keeps touching his right piercing.

Alright, I'll leave the rest to you, Daiya.

And also, goodbye!

I don't want to meet you anymore.

I mean, if we meet again, you will have used the 'box'. Even though you can't master it anyway.

When that time comes, I will try to destroy your 'box' for certain.

And that's when we're going to become enemies for real.

Therefore, I don't want to meet you anymore.

During middle school I went out with some boring girl.

Well, sure enough, for a middle schooler she was pretty stylish and her slender legs that looked out from her shortened school skirt were attractive enough to arouse me.

But her tremendous lack of intelligence and dignity blanked that attractiveness out. She spoke ill of others all the time and she wasn't even able to make it sound funny in the least. She was boring. Annoying. Therefore, I learned how to reflexively give her empty answers and simultaneously solved some equations in my head instead.

Since I would never approach someone like her, I think she was the one that confessed, but I wonder why I accepted going out with her, of all the people that confessed to me? Because of sexual desire?

Actually, I have a preference for obedient girls. Come to think of it, there was a girl I was attracted to who fit that image perfectly. She was the archetype of a dark girl, having her gaze lowered, with long hair that looked like the hair of a Japanese doll and wearing bulky glasses. But her face hidden by that long hair was, if you looked close enough, very pretty and charming. I had the illusion of being the only one who noticed that and felt an odd sense of excitement, like it was my own personal secret.

...ohh, that's right. When I learned that she already had a boyfriend, I was so shocked that I accidentally accepted the confession of the boring girl, «Rino».

But while she may have bored me, she seemed to be rather popular.

Shortly after I started going out with her, I was called to the back of the gym. By a fair-haired classmate who the teachers had already given up on.

"Hey, asshole. Are you looking for trouble?"

is what that simpleton said, even though there's no way I'd look for that since I had never really talked with him. Then, after listening to him for a while, I finally noticed that going out with her was the reason for his sudden abuse.

"Split up with Rino, you cheeky prick!"

Eventually, my fair-haired classmate pocketed his strange pride when I kept not understanding him, grabbed me by the collar and urged me like that.

Since I wasn't particularly attached to her, I could have just said "Aah, okay, I don't mind," but well, I was still a brat back then and felt offended by his unreasonable demand. Consequentially I responded «Why should I obey such an order?». I think I also added a most correct statement along the lines of «Don't hold a grudge against me just because you're unable to get a girlfriend! What a wimp.»

Well, and that's how I started being the victim of violence.

If he hadn't come pick a quarrel with me, I would have split up with that boring girl long before, but because I was pissed off by that, I kept going out with her. You know what, blondie? You just shot yourself in the leg.

By the way, to proceed to another subject, I love my mother. She's young, I think she's pretty and most of all she brought me up all on her own. I heard my dad was an awful person who had tried to force my 17-year old, pregnant mother to abort me through violence when he got wind of it. Because of that, my mother's been telling me "Never use violence" all the time. "Violence can't solve anything!"

It may not sound real, but I still think that's right. Her saying has properly taken root in me.

Thus, I didn't fight back when the fair head kept abusing me.

But when you're being abused, traces remain. Because of my unceasing bruises, my mother started to suspect that I was picking quarrels all the time, in other words, that I used violence. "How did you get that bruise?", "Didn't you ignore my instructions?", "Haven't you started to resemble that man I hate more than anyone?"

I disappointed my beloved mother because I've been obeying her instructions. Just how unreasonable is that? I had to bring that to an end.

So I thought it was okay to use violence once for that purpose since it couldn't be helped.

I called blondie to the back of the gym. Well, there was no way I'd lose to such a inferior fair-haired monkey. I hit him. I kicked him. After a few punches and kicks, the fair-haired monkey was already unable to stand anymore. Since I couldn't allow him to spread around that I used violence, I decided to seal his mouth by threatening him. That fair-haired monkey was quite stubborn. I used force on him until he lost consciousness. Until then, I did things like plucking off his hair, tearing off his fingernails, pissing on him or making him eat a centipede. In the end I took all his clothes and left him behind in the gym where some girls were doing club activities. By now I think I went too far but I may have had bottled up more anger than expected.

Before that fair-haired monkey lost consciousness, he said, "You asshole, you don't even love Rino. You're just using her as a substitute for your jerk-off material. That's why I won't permit it." Maybe he loved that boring girl, quite honestly.

I didn't give a sh*t.

Monkeys have no human rights.

It was rather the opposite; after that human-to-rag incident I got even more irritated because of him. Wasn't he just a small fry, really? And such a small fry had been hurting me all this time? He even made me break the taboo of using violence?! Such an inferior monkey has?

Don't mess around with me. Because of you, I tasted it!

The enjoyment of control through violence.

Until then, I had been unable to defend myself against that scum, that acted tough just because they had enough guts to pick fights with others...although they actually were vastly inferior to me. I mean, they only care about who's strong and who's not. For them, other abilities like intelligence, sportiness, and such don't even matter. I can't stand such values. They are only trash for relying solely on violence that can't solve anything. They're an inferior bunch. Their lives are worthless, just like my father who tried to kill me before my birth.

But then again, they submit to violence.

There's no meaning in that. It's pointless to compel such a bunch of inferior monkeys into submission. At most, you can feel pleasure. But that's reason enough to use violence.

Violence is alright, if it's for pleasure.

My ethics sure are outstandingly right, if I may say so myself.

I called that fair head again. He had been frantically fleeing from me since that incident, but when I told him that I would gang-rape Rino in a hotel if he didn't appear, he turned up readily. I took with me some of my classmates, apparently blondie's ex-buddies, and Rino with her friends and lead the fair head to a ditch. It was an unhygienic knee-deep river in which one could see things like the corpse of a dog quite often.

"Hey monkey! You're in the swimming club, right?" I asked. "It may sound surprising, but I'm rather bad at swimming, you know?" I said while looking at Rino who was giggling.

"Can you demonstrate to me here how to swim?"

Of course, I didn't let him reject. When I pointed out, "Whoa, don't tell me you want to swim with your clothes on! Do you have no common sense?" he voluntarily undressed with the exception of his shorts. Naturally, I didn't allow that and made him take off his underpants as well. "Iih!" Rino and her friends exclaimed with brainless voices.

The fair head started to swim. One could see that he frantically tried to look expressionless. When I ordered him to do a butterfly, he showed us a dynamic butterfly inside the ditch. That scene looked so funny that I kicked him while laughing out loud. Half of the present students were turned off by his appearance, drinking muddy water, but Rino was laughing and clapping her hands together.

I started to talk with Rino so that the blond head could hear. "Rino, let's go to a hotel afterwards." "Eh? D-Don't talk about that in front of everyone, Kou-chan! It's embarrassing!" "You don't want to?" "It's... not like I don't want to, of course." "Let's go then." "...Okay." "Please do something like you did the other day, that was so hot!" "Well, I don't mind... hey, don't talk about that in front of everyone, seriously! Ooh, you silly～"

The fair head threw up into the ditch.

As promised, I led Rino to a hotel afterwards. A group of men were already waiting there. I received some money from the unknown men and went home, leaving Rino behind in the hotel.

Of course I told the fair head about that.

I didn't see him ever since.

Oh dear, violence sure solves nothing. It only brings forth new hatred. You had to go through all that trouble because you carelessly used violence, you know?

But also, I had to compensate for using violence.

That ditch incident became a quite serious matter, so in the end, my mother got wind of it. Having learned about the details, she started to fear me and treat me like a stranger. By now, there's almost no conversation between us anymore. Although... I still love her so much.

However, I kept betraying her. I continued using violence. I couldn't endure not feeling the pleasure of using violence regularly.

I still think you can't solve anything by using violence. But you destroy absolutely anything and everything. Everyone can get ruined by someone's violence, no matter how high his social status is, no matter how greatly renowned he is, no matter how much money he has. When I use violence while making myself aware that it is destroying the victim's life, a white light runs from my head through my entire body and tickles my heart as if to melt it. And that feels so good, I can't stop.

I bet even I will be destroyed by someone one day.

When I imagine my insides melting in sulphuric acid, I feel really at ease for some reason. I can acquire an unbelievable sense of relief just by picturing how I liquefy myself.

I don't care why that is.

I just wonder if that liquid appearance would be my correct form...if it would have been better not to come out in human shape after having been totally damaged by my father's violence.

"Do you have a wish?"

So, how should I answer such a question?

What wish could I have when I'm going to be ruined some day?

I --- no, not just me. Everyone will lose everything in the end anyway. So is there really something that has a meaning? If there is, by all means, let me know.

When I understood that nothing had a meaning, everything became oh so boring. «Boredom» is, like Daiya Oomine said, a beast and tries to devour me.

So I'm satisfied as long as I just can ward off this boredom.

Thus, I created the 'Game of Idleness' and started [Kingdom Royale].

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