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Utsuro no Hako to Zero no Maria (Light Novel) - Volume 5, Part 3
Volume 5, Part 3
◇◇◇ Kazuki Hoshino - 09/06 SUN 14:05 ◇◇◇
Kokone didn't change even after Daiya disappeared.
It doesn't matter if she expected Daiya to disappear; her lack of reaction was still extremely unnatural. This led me to the following conclusion:
Kokone's cheery personality is just a facade.
Not just right now, but for the entire time that I've known her.
Truth be told, I've long been aware that her cheerful attitude is somewhat forced and fake. I also realized that even though Haruaki and Daiya knew her true self, they played along with her forced cheeriness anyway.
And I noticed that Daiya always seemed unhappy about the situation.
At the same time, I never thought Kokone's choice was that significant.
After all, everyone wears a mask to a certain degree when dealing with other people. Mogi-san, for example, told me that she had struggled quite a bit in the past to maintain her social contacts. "If Kokone is deliberately trying to become that kind of person, then there's nothing wrong with her choice."
That's what I thought.
But I must have been mistaken.
Otherwise the following incident would never have occurred.
"No, but seriously Kazu-kun, that was awful of you! I mean sure, it may be wrong to get Kasumi's hopes up by being too gentle, but come on, you understand the position she's in, don't you?"
It was after school when that incident occurred.
"You should know well enough why Kasumi wants to come back to school! Kazu-kun, do you even realize how horribly your behavior has affected her, especially after all the hardships she's borne while trying to recover?!"
Kokone was scolding me because I had left Mogi-san the day before to go to Maria's apartment instead.
"I want you to know: you're seriously mistaken if you think that she's okay just because she seemed cheerful after her accident! No one would be okay with their body in such a state! Kasumi is just trying to appear strong because she doesn't want us to worry!"
It was July, just before the summer holidays. Even though it was already past 5 p.m., the sun still shone strongly through the windows, keeping the classroom brightly lit. It was probably quite hot, too, but I can't really remember.
Kokone was desperately trying to hold back her tears. I couldn't help but admire her empathy for her friend, as wrong as it was for me to be thinking about that while being scolded.
But I couldn't just nod and smile.
I understood Kokone's point quite well. Of course I want to be gentle with Mogi-san.
But I have already picked Maria.
Therefore, I made it clear that I would devote myself to Maria.
"Kokone, I have chosen Maria———..."
Kokone replied with another objection, despite being somewhat shocked by my unshakable attitude.
"B-But that's no excuse for acting like that yesterday! Couldn't you at least wait until Kasumi's recovered further?! Treating her gently for a tiny bit longer shouldn't be a problem!"
I remained silent.
Not because I agree with Kokone, but because everything I want to say would only hurt her feelings.
In all honesty, no matter what she tells me, even if she hates me and never speaks to me again, my choice won't change. I consider Kokone a dear friend and I don't want to lose her, but that has nothing to do with my choosing Maria.
I understood what Kokone was trying to get at. But when would the perfect moment be? Does it even exist? Was I supposed to tell Mogi-san only after she'd returned to school? How about right after Mogi-san had completed an exhausting rehabilitation and finally fulfilled her wish of living a normal student's life by my side? Could that possibly be the best time to tell Mogi-san that I had chosen Maria?
Of course not.
Mogi-san would still suffer even if I held off on telling her about my decision.
"Say something, Kazu-kun! Please, don't hurt Kasumi any more than this!"
I don't want to hurt her either.
I wanted to tell Kokone that with all my heart, but as the one who was hurting Mogi-san, I had no right to do so.
I took out my cell phone. Kokone complained, "what are you looking at now?!" I just ignored her and found the picture that I was looking for.
It was an image of Mogi-san making a peace sign in her pajamas.
I was really fond of that picture. Mogi-san's sunflower-like smile always cheered me up.
Looking at it, I understood why I could have loved her in a different world and a different time. It was only natural that I would fall in love with a girl that gave me such a warm, loving smile. It was a very, very precious picture of mine.
Therefore—I deleted it.
Because I could not choose Mogi-san anymore.
I remained silent and continued to stare at Kokone. She seemed defeated by my steadfast look, and didn't say anything else.
As we were the only ones in the classroom, it was completely quiet.
—Yes, there was a deep silence.
That's probably why those two girls from our class thought that the classroom was empty. Because of that mistake, they started trash talking Kokone on their way back to the classroom from their club activities.
"Man, Kokone sure is acting slutty lately."
...without having the faintest idea that the target of their malicious gossip was right there.
"Isn't she a real attention whore? Her whining about her glasses yesterday really pissed me off. I mean, come on, we don't give a sh*t about your face! If you don't want to talk to us, then just talk to yourself in the mirror!"
"Yeah, totally! It's so annoying that she's always talking about herself! Besides, she's not nearly as cute as she makes herself out to be. It's like day and night if you compare her face to Maria-sama's. I bet Maria-sama's at least three times as pretty!"
"Haha, Kou, you're so terrible!"
I recognized those amused voices. They belonged to two girls from our class who had befriended Kokone. All three of them would often have lunch together.
"But you can't deny any of it. Isn't Kokone just relying on her make-up? Oh boy, she's so desperate to get popular with the guys."
"Mh... but she is popular... are guys really unable to see through all that BS?"
"Oh, they'll fall for you if you're somewhat cute and act overly friendly. I guess guys are also less shy if the girl is only somewhat cute, no?"
"And that's what makes her perfect!"
"Hey, I wonder if she thinks that everyone likes her? I mean, we just hang around with her because she attracts the guys."
"Yeah, she's really useful that way."
"But god does it stress me out. And she's gotten much less useful ever since our sharp-tongued prince has stopped coming to school."
"Oh, Mii-chan- Oomine-kun was your favorite, wasn't he?"
"He's got a hard shell, but in reality he's really gentle! He's overflowing with dignity and not vulgar in the slightest! I'm the only one who really understands you, my Daiya-kyun!"
"Oh cut that out, Mii-chan! You're only saying that because of his looks, aren't you!"
"You've got a point there. Ugly people deserve to die anyway!"
"But is Oomine-kun dating Kokone?"
"Mhh, if you make it past tense, maybe?"
"Aah, that could be. Maybe she managed to seduce him, but they broke up when he realized what she's really like?"
I wanted to cover my ears to escape from their unbearable slander, but how could I do so with their victim standing right beside me?
Their voices drew nearer, and at any moment, the girls would come face-to-face with Kokone. Unable to make a decision, I wanted to turn back toward Kokone.
She must be white as chalk and petrified. Maybe she's starting to cry... What should I do? Should I help her hide and wait for them to leave? After that I could go with her to Mickey D's, listen carefully to her woes and try to comfort her to the best of my ability...
But there was no need to comfort her.
She wasn't at all upset.
Kokone was—smiling in amusement.
".........Huh?"
At the time, I was baffled. I didn't understand how she would be able to maintain her composure in the face of such vile comments.
Ah, but hindsight is 20/20. Having witnessed her subsequent behavior, I can guess why she was so amused.
What Kokone felt at the time must have been—
"Fufu..."
—a sense of superiority.
The two girls opened the classroom door. Once they saw Kokone, they stiffened in a ridiculously abrupt manner.
"O-Oh, you were here?"
In contrast to their stiff faces, Kokone's countenance remained perfectly normal.
"Yes, I was."
They were confused by how calm she was.
"Um... Kokone...?"
"So that's what you think of me. I'm a little dense, you know, so I didn't notice. Honestly, I'm sorry! I'll try to change for the better, I promise."
"U-Um, yeah, Kokone..."
"I know, I know. When you speak ill of someone, it's easy to go a little overboard, right? But that's only because you get carried away, not because you actually feel that way. Yeah, I know."
She seemed quite forgiving of their cruel comments. While they were still wary, their faces started to relax a bit.
"E-Exactly!" "We just got carried away," they said while making up excuses. Kokone's smile remained unchanged.
"But you know, because I heard what you said, some awkwardness will remain... you do understand that, right?"
"Y-Yeah."
"But I've got a solution: why don't you let me say some things in return? Then we'll be even and we can go back to being friends!"
"Y-Yeah, you're right. Say whatever you want."
After her "friends" agreed to her proposal, Kokone opened her mouth and spoke.
She looked them straight in the eyes and spoke clearly and precisely.
"Drop dead, you ugly bitches."
Their eyes widened in disbelief.
"You're as nasty as a pair of bitches in heat. Your faces are so ugly, there's not a single person in the entire world who you could stand next to make you look better. You said that all I'm good for is attracting guys? Say that again when your own goddamn mugs aren't too ugly to get the job done! Even if you want to use me as a guy magnet, what's the point - not even a blind man would be interested in a bunch of bitches as ugly as you!"
As Kokone's words began to register, one of the two girls turned red with anger, while the other one turned pale with fright.
"Hahaha, I can't help laughing! I mean, you realize that you've acknowledged my superiority with your stupid envy, right? Is it that painful to be so inferior? Please don't overdo it, okay? I'm not that perfect. At any rate, let me tell you this: you're worthless bitches whose only purpose in life is to make me look even better."
The angry glint in her eyes that had been piercing them disappeared abruptly, and a cheerful smile reappeared on her face.
"All right, now let's forget everything and be friends again!"
Those girls haven't spoken a single word to Kokone ever since.
While recalling that incident, I'm using my sister Luu-chan's laptop to watch a Youtube video of a weird group of people in Shinjuku.
By now I know:
How Kokone was able to say such cruel things to those two girls, while shedding tears for Mogi-san.
I used to think that Kokone's goal was to actually internalize the superficial, cheery image that she tried so hard to project. But that's not true. In fact, now I'm sure that Kokone was forced to act that way. It was somehow her only choice, even if it meant straining herself to the utmost.
Without stressing herself like that, Kokone could not stay herself.
And I suspect those two girls had accidentally encroached upon a forbidden part of Kokone's personality.
Therefore she snapped.
So far, I haven't discovered what's' been driving her internal conflict.
But I bet Daiya knows the truth.
"Ah, I've also seen that video! He's an amazing boy, isn't he? So charismatic for someone his age."
While peeking at the screen, my "roommate" made a comment that totally missed the mark. I turn around.
"...Hey, that's my Umaibō, isn't it?"
While I'm saying that, Luu-chan opens a package of Tonkatsu-sauce[1]-flavored Umaibō[2].
"But you're using my computer, right?"
"Yeah. But that's irrelevant."
She reluctantly took out her wallet and pressed a 10-yen coin into my hand.
...That's not what I meant... whatever.
While munching on the Umaibō, she adds indifferently:
"I wonder if it's people like that who revolutionize the world?"
I return my gaze to the laptop screen.
Yeah... perhaps.
Daiya might be trying to destroy the world with his 'box'.
And if he's using a 'box', he will definitely get Maria involved.
Once that happens, Maria's regular life will be lost and she will once more be overtaken by "Aya Otonashi."
"......I—"
—won't let that happen. No matter what.
During the "Game of Idleness," I realized that my enemy is the "Aya Otonashi" who has possessed "Maria Otonashi" and is leading Maria to her death. For Maria's sake, I must free the world from 'O' and 'boxes'.
I have to stop Daiya.
But how?
I'm no 'owner'. Depending on what Daiya's 'box' is capable of, I may not have anything to use against him.
So how am I supposed to protect Maria?
"———"
There is one extremely simple solution.
It's a method that I want to avoid with all my heart, a method that would require me to betray my former self. Ah, but why do I still care? I have prepared myself to get my hands dirty. In fact, I already have besmirched them by abandoning Koudai Kamiuchi.
Therefore—
Even if I have to obtain and use a 'box', I don't care anymore.
Let the clash of 'box' versus 'box' begin.
A clash of my 'wish' to crush the 'boxes' versus Daiya's 'wish'.
I don't know what Daiya's 'wish' is. But it's definitely something he will fight for with no holds barred.
But whatever it is—
"I can't stand it."
All 'wishes' that have to depend on a 'box' are utter sh*t. No matter how important that 'wish' is to Daiya, it's sh*t. I'll beat it to a pulp and wipe it out, leaving not a single stain.
Even if I have to kill Daiya.
"...Kazu-chan, you have been a little scary lately. Your eyes just took on a bit of a murderous look, you know?"
I ignore Luu-chan's ramblings, and shut down the computer.
I have come to a resolution.
I will fight against Daiya.
scene 1: close-up goodbye
1. HOTEL EXTERIOR - NIGHT The hotel is fairly large and looks like a business hotel. Night has fallen, but it's not quite pitch-black yet.
2. HOTEL ROOM A basic room without much in the way of furniture. It is decently sized. KOUDAI KAMIUCHI, a second-year middle school student, has brought MIYUKI KARINO here. She is surrounded by a group of men with blatantly obscene smiles. Her face has blanched with fear. Behind the men is a double bed. MIYUKI K-Kou-chan! Ignoring MIYUKI, KOUDAI closes the door. Without missing a beat, MIYUKI tries to escape. One of the men blocks her way. Searching for a place to hide, she instinctively rushes into the bathroom. Fortunately, there's a lock on the bathroom door. MIYUKI locks the door. She sits down in front of it. Her breathing is rough. The men's silhouettes can be seen through the partially transparent door. MAN 1 Come here, my sweet Miyuki-chan! MAN 2 Don't be frightened! C'mon, let's have some fun together! MAN 3 Do you even know how much we paid for you!? While the men pound on the door, MIYUKI’s lips tremble. She embraces herself tightly. She makes several false starts as she frantically tries to open her school bag. MIYUKI finally pulls open the zipper and takes out a cellphone with many cellphone straps attached. She starts to type with trembling fingers.
3. CELL PHONE DISPLAY "Help! Weird men are trying to". A pale MIYUKI is writing on her phone. Suddenly she stops. The camera pans down to the end of the message, which simply says: "Help me."
4. AT RINO'S (FLASHBACK) Cut to a blushing, smiling, elementary school-aged MIYUKI who is having her hair ruffled by DAIYA OOMINE. Next to her is KOKONE KIRINO. She is standing close to DAIYA and has an uneasy expression on her face.
5. BATHROOM On the verge of tears, MIYUKI continues to type. The camera zooms in on the cell phone display: "Help me Dai-kun!" She presses a button. "Your e-mail has been sent."
◆◆◆ Daiya Oomine - 09/11 FRI 16:13 ◆◆◆
Okay.
This is a sudden turn of events, so let's put the facts in order.
What situation am I in right now?
I am trapped inside a cinema.
I was thrown into a crimson cinema. It’s so sterile and lifeless that the air itself feels strange, and I can't help but feel uneasy and intimidated.
"......"
Let's look back at what led to my current predicament.
Together with Shindou, I started taking control of our school.
Shindou once asked me if there really was a point in doing so. Indeed, we gained no strategic advantage from bringing the school under our control and making it our base. However, it was an absolute necessity from a psychological perspective: because I was unable to completely part with my weaknesses, I needed a ceremony to abandon my "everyday school life" for good.
Defeating Otonashi who can sense 'boxes', defeating Kazuki Hoshino who is the arch-enemy of the 'boxes', and parting with Kokone Kirino, the symbol of my everyday life—those were the rituals that I needed to complete. I had even decided on an order in which I was going to perform those rituals. The 999th person I'd control would be Maria Otonashi, the 1000th would be Kazuki Hoshino and the 1001st - Kokone Kirino.
After that, I would start the mass production of "Dog Humans."
And then I would reshape the world using my 'box'.
We made good progress in taking over the school, but everything went so smoothly that I found it eerie.
It was strange that Kazu and Otonashi, who both knew that I was an 'owner', didn't act. Naturally, I expected them to hinder my actions the moment I returned to school.
But they didn't do so.
I did spot them at school together, but they merely gazed at me from afar. Kazu was ignoring me and Otonashi, while seeming to care about me, didn't do anything. Perhaps Kazu was holding her back.
It was not until I made my 998th [servant], Yuuri Yanagi, that he appeared before me.
"You took your time, didn't you?"
We were in the library after school.
I had just made Yuuri Yanagi a [servant] right in the open. After all, Shindou had blocked off the library and the other students there were already under my control.
Yanagi was full of anguish from committing the sin of murder. Kazu gave her a brief, pitying glance, and then scowled at me.
To my surprise, he had hidden there alone.
But now that I think about it, it made perfect sense.
Kazu didn’t rely on Otonashi anymore. He wouldn't even let her get near a 'box'. He must have somehow convinced her to remain passive.
"Daiya," he called out to me, and smiled. "I hope you’re prepared?"
I couldn't hide my surprise at his smile.
That smile was so similar to the charming smile of 'O'.
I was thrown off balance and immediately started to wonder about the significance of that similarity. Meanwhile, Kazu approached me.
Kazuki Hoshino whispered into my ear with a sweet, soft voice as though he were seducing a girl:
"I'll crush you."
The moment I heard his words, I suddenly found myself in a movie theater.
It was an inconceivable phenomenon.
I realized right away:
This was a 'box'.
Whose?
"...Don't tell me that..."
It was easy to arrive at an answer after considering the situation. Moreover, I had already thought about this scenario.
Still, I found myself unable to immediately accept it.
After all, Kazu used to loathe the 'boxes'. More than anything, he abhorred 'O', who fascinates just about everyone else.
Would he really resort to a 'box' in order to oppose me?
"No..."
I was wrong.
He wasn't trying to oppose me.
He was protecting Maria Otonashi by attacking my 'box'.
For that purpose, Kazuki Hoshino used a 'box'.
And he threw me inside that cinema-like 'box'.
The cinema I found myself in had several screens. I guess that made it a multiplex. It resembled the multiplex at a nearby shopping mall, probably because Kazuki was the 'owner'.
Even while thinking that it was futile, I searched for an exit. But there was no exit to be found. The corridor was lined with a perfectly dust-free red carpet and curved forever. If I had a floor plan, I'd probably discover that the corridor formed a perfect circle. There would be four entrances that led to different screens. Each theater looked identical in size, screen dimensions, number of seats, and every other way.
This was a soulless place.
The conclusion I drew:
I am trapped inside this cinema-like 'box'.
Having sorted out my thoughts, I come up with some new questions:
What does this 'box' do? What's going to happen next?
I look at the digital info panel before me. The screen displays what movies are shown at what time and on which screen.
SCREEN 1: "Close-Up Goodbye" (16:30 - 18:00)
SCREEN 2: "60 Feet and 6 Inches Apart" (18:30 - 20:00)
SCREEN 3: "Repeat, Reset, Reset" (20:30 - 22:00)
SCREEN 4: "Piercing at Fifteen" (22:30 - 24:00)
Each movie is one and a half hours long, with 30 minutes to spare between each one. That means that the movies start exactly two hours apart. The final movie ends today - September 11th - at midnight.
Does that mean I have to watch all of them?
I look at my watch. It's 16:24. I also take out my cell phone (which has no reception right now) to confirm the time. The digital information panel is showing the same time as well. That being said, I'm inside a 'box': time can be flexible, and doesn't necessarily have to march in sync with the real world.
However, it's safe to assume that the first movie, Close-Up Goodbye, will start at the time that my watch indicates.
"......"
What should I do?
Kazu probably expects me to watch the movies.
On the other hand, if I don't watch them, I won't know what he's up to. I might be unable to craft a counterstrategy, which would contribute to the success of Kazu's plan.
Should I watch the movies to remain informed? Or should I ignore them in order to resist this 'box'?
My internal debate turns out to be pointless.
I am suddenly sitting in front of a screen.
I was teleported again. The overuse of such supernatural effects makes me sigh.
I immediately confirm the situation that I'm in. I'm not being forced to watch the movie. If I wanted to, I could stand up and leave.
But I don't feel like leaving at all.
The apathy that I'm feeling is unrelated to my willpower. Most likely—no, definitely, it's because of this 'box'.
For starters, I try to resist the power that is pinning me to my seat. It's not that I can't move at all. I can stand up. However, just by standing, I feel horribly listless - almost as if I were running a high fever. Standing for an extended period is impossible - my will would fail immediately.
While resisting the overpowering sense of lethargy, I look around.
......
What is going on?
There are people all around me.
And not just a few people - I have no idea where they came from, but the theater is as full as it would be on a regular night at the movies.
Haruaki is also present.
Even though he's already dead, I see Koudai Kamiuchi as well.
I don't know everyone in the audience - there are some people I only know by sight and people who I've never seen before.
—Why is Kamiuchi here? Why were these people chosen? If the 'box' is being used to assemble people I know, why are some of the audience members basically strangers?
The faces of the audience members are as stiff as masks. Most likely, they're just lifeless dummies. Kazu's going overboard with all these spooky special effects. At first, I was a little freaked out, but because they're so overdone, I quickly recovered and realized that's it's all smoke and mirrors.
I continue to observe them closely, trying to find some common denominator - instead, I discover something new and uncanny.
"What the hell is that?"
It's in the last row in the right corner...... no, I'm not putting it quite right. It's not there—It's not there.
In that seat, there's a pitch-black hole shaped like a person.
It's absolute darkness.
A hole that's different from a shadow.
If one were to give it a name—it would be an "abyss".
Its eeriness makes me wrinkle my brow, and lose the will to resist the lethargy that holds me in my seat.
"......!!"
I finally noticed her...
The girl sitting next to me.
"......Rino."
Miyuki Karino.
The ex-girlfriend of the person I murdered, Koudai Kamiuchi.
A childhood friend from my neighborhood, my junior by one year.
A childhood friend I will never speak with again.
"——Ugh..."
She's like the other lifeless dolls, expressionless and not reacting to me at all. But I can't convince myself that she's just an object like the others. I can't help but recall my former self because I'm sitting beside her.
Before I can get my feelings under control, a buzzing noise announces the start of the movie.
Partly out of reflex, I look at the screen.
An ordinary hotel appears onscreen.
Is it because the victim of that incident is sitting right beside me that I instantly recognized that building?
The middle school-aged Rino is being approached by obscenely smiling men. Pale faced, she escapes into the bathroom, takes out her cell phone and starts typing an e-mail with her trembling fingers.
A few moments later, she sends the e-mail to me.
The scene changes.
A black-haired boy is shown studying at his desk at home.
The camera focuses on the 'me' from middle school.
I open my vibrating cell phone. The e-mail that Rino just sent appears.
Aah, I'm recalling what happened back then.
I didn't believe her message at first. For one thing, Rino had always been quite mischievous. Most of all, back then I was still naïve and couldn't imagine that a friend of mine would be the victim of such a crime. I didn't believe that I'd ever be in direct contact with any crimes in the real world: crimes only happened on TV and were entirely foreign to me.
"No doubt this must be a prank. But what if she's really in trouble?"
I'm muttering to myself onscreen and finally call Rino. "Hey, Rino?" "D-Dai-chan, h-help me..." Rino's voice trembles, and I also hear male voices in the background. "Hey! Who are you talking to?!" Crash—the sound of glass shattering. Rino's scream.
The call disconnects.
At that moment, I finally realized what had happened to Rino. I had made her situation even worse by thoughtlessly calling her. While desperately trying to stay calm, I immediately called the police.
At last, I'm permitted to avert my gaze from this utterly repellent movie, and turn to look at the fake "Miyuki Karino" sitting next to me.
It goes without saying that she's expressionless.
But that still sends a message of silent reproach.
I finally realize what the members of the audience have in common.
They are the actors. Haruaki and Kamiuchi—they both have parts to play. Aah, looks like the men who are attacking Rino onscreen are among the audience as well.
Rino and I are the stars, of course.
The Rino next to me is wearing an unfamiliar uniform. It's probably the uniform of the high school she attends today.
...I see. So she managed to enter high school.
When I entered high school and started living alone, I broke off all of my middle school relationships - Haruaki and Kiri were the only exceptions. That's why I didn't even know whether Rino was able to become a high school student after that traumatic incident.
I avert my gaze from her once more.
I want to avert my gaze from everything I see.
But the power of this 'box' is forcing me to watch.
Against my will, my eyes turn back to the screen.
—————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————
———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————......
Rino is crying and desperately struggling on the hotel bed.
Each and every frame makes me want to scream out in agony.
This isn't a movie - it's just moments from my past.
My past from Rino's perspective.
Her being abandoned in the hotel, Haruaki and my arriving too late to rescue her, everything starting to collapse from that point on—it's just the harsh reality that I have to face.
It's—
It's, I see—
It's the presentation of my sins.
The moment I realize this, my conscience starts to gnaw at me.
My 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment' is about to rage.
"Gnh!"
I see, Kazu! So that's your plan!
Your goal is my self-destruction.
By throwing me into a cinema that shows me my past, I'll break under my sins. Just by tolerating the 'Shadow of Sin and Punishment', I'm already at my limit. Since my situation is already so precarious, Kazu can crush me without putting himself in danger. All he has to do is give me a little push and I'll fall off the tightrope that I'm walking.
The countless "Shadows of Sin" within me are raging. They are constantly hoping for me to break. They are licking their lips in anticipation of my fall into the abyss. They want to crush my bones with their teeth and devour me once I've fallen into their mouths.
Jeez, even though this is my own power - what a bunch of stupid pets. They don't understand who's their master.
While I'm rubbing my temples in pain, the fake Rino enters my field of vision.
Even though she's supposed to be lifeless, she stares at me without blinking.
Closely.
Closely.
She stares at me so closely.
"...What?"
I ask, even though I know she can't reply.
"........."
Rino stares at me. Without blinking. Without saying a single word.
I know. She's an object. A trick created by the 'box'.
And yet I can't keep myself from talking to her.
"Do you want to tell me that you hate me or what?"
"........................"
Rino stares at me. Without blinking. Without saying a single word.
"Of course you do, don't you? Still, I wish from the bottom of my heart that I hadn't tried to rescue you back then! That I hadn't treated you so gently! That you had killed yourself after getting raped by those scum!"
"...................................................."
Rino stares at me. Without blinking. Without saying a single word.
"Yeah, you heard me! Why don't you go kill yourself? How dare you live on so shamelessly? Didn't I teach you that people like you should be too ashamed to go on living?"
"..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................."
Rino—
No, every single person in this room stares at me. Without blinking. Without saying a single word.
—With reproachful eyes.
"Stop it already."
The words that I just heard happened to be a line spoken by an actor onscreen.
"Stop making excuses by persuading yourself that she deserves to get hurt!"
The person talking to Rino was my old self from back then.
Cut to the next scene.
Rino is scribbling on a picture with a red pen.
"Die, Kokone Kirino! Die! Die!"
Rino has turned the picture of Kokone Kirino bright red, as if Kokone were drenched in blood.
"———— "
I barely manage to avoid giving in.
But unbeknownst to me, the "abyss" in the audience has drawn a little closer.
scene 2: 60 Feet and 6 Inches Apart
1. BASEBALL FIELD - DAY The final match of the local baseball tournament is about to end. It’s the ninth inning. Two players are out and there are players on first and third. The count is 1-2: one ball and two strikes. The team's in the lead by 3 to 2. A middle school-aged, uniformed HARUAKI USUI is standing at the mound. He wipes his brow and peeks at the catcher's signal. HARUAKI (MONOLOGUE) He's incredible. He recognizes the sign and nods. HARUAKI (MONOLOGUE) I stay in this baseball club and ignore our coach's grim stares because of him. He takes up a pitching stance. HARUAKI (MONOLOGUE) I have seen a lot of players in the senior league[1] who are expected to make it to the big leagues. Some of them will definitely make it. But I never considered them to be threats: in my eyes, he was the best. He takes a deep breath. HARUAKI (MONOLOGUE) Every movement of his play is beautiful. Every moment that I watch him playing, I'm overwhelmed. I can't help but feel uneasy and wonder if I lack the qualities of a true player. He lifts his leg. HARUAKI (MONOLOGUE) I became so good at baseball that all the elite baseball schools were trying to recruit me. The fantasy of every young baseball fan - setting foot on the mound at Koushien Stadium[2]- was no longer a dream, but a goal. Making it to the pros one day seemed within reach. He winds up for the pitch. HARUAKI (MONOLOGUE) But ever since I started playing baseball in elementary school, I was merely imitating him. He throws a powerful fastball. The batter swings and misses. Upon seeing his pitch strike the catcher's mitt, HARUAKI shouts out with joy and clenches his fist in triumph. HARUAKI (MONOLOGUE) So I can't imagine ever surpassing him. The catcher takes off his mask. A broadly smiling DAIYA appears. Without missing a beat, he rushes to the mound and jumps at HARUAKI, hugging him tightly. In a matter of seconds, the rest of the team gathers around them and also starts cheering. HARUAKI Whoa, Daiyan, don't cling to me. I'm totally not stoked about getting a man-hug! And damn are you sweaty! Nevertheless, he's smiling as he complains. DAIYA Don't worry: you're way sweatier - and you smell like sh*t! DAIYA is smiling as well. HARUAKI W-WHAT?! Get me some Axe body spray then! I don't want to be rejected by our cute girl manager! I'm planning on giving her the ball that won the game, and telling her that I pitched those strikes just for her! She'll be mine in no time! DAIYA Haha, too bad she doesn't exist, eh? The players line up on the field. HARUAKI (MONOLOGUE) One time, I had a scout I knew secretly evaluate his play. They bow their heads. HARUAKI (MONOLOGUE) I wanted to stay on his team in high school. The players head toward the stands. HARUAKI (MONOLOGUE) But the reaction of that scout was lukewarm. "He's good for his age, but he doesn't have much potential left because he's settled into his half-baked style. I don't know if he can become a regular, and it would definitely be hard for him to get a baseball scholarship." That's how the scout rated him. Indeed, Daiya's physical stats are mediocre. He can't beat me at short-distance runs, in grip strength or in build. Still, I believed that he had enough potential to easily make up for those shortcomings. They bow their heads to the spectators. HARUAKI (MONOLOGUE) The scout could have been wrong. But I knew that objectively speaking, Daiya wasn't that good a baseball player. Aah... maybe I knew all along. Maybe it wasn't his play that overwhelmed me. Maybe I had already surpassed Daiya in terms of baseball potential and abilities. But the hierarchy I've established in my heart will never change, even if I were to become a major league ace. KOKONE is in the stands. She's rejoicing with slightly teary eyes. Her gaze is fixed on DAIYA. DAIYA gives her a wry yet soft smile. HARUAKI (MONOLOGUE) Daiya is still the lead character. As he watches them look deeply into each other's eyes, HARUAKI flashes a bright smile of his own. HARUAKI (MONOLOGUE) That's why I gave up on my first love.
