Published at 21st of February 2026 8:32 pm

Chapter 44 Soul Searching

This chapter is updated by JustRead.pl

When it came time for the study session with Nicolus and Xipuatl, Mirians first move was to get the two boys to argue about if Baracuel or Tlaxhuacos magic was better. After their spat, she was ready with summaries of some of the books, critiques of some others, and a ready-made list of what they should study.

Huh. You really know your stuff, Nicolus said. When did you?

Probably frittered away less time drinking, Sire Nurea muttered.

Frittered my tihey, thats called building social capital. Its useful.

Only if they become useful. And judging by your friends grades.

Ouch, Nicolus said. Anyways, that huh, that cuts short our session.

Xipuatl shrugged. Fine by me.

As they were leaving, though, Mirian said in a low voice to Xipuatl, Hey, actually, can I talk to you about something?

This is one of those rhetorical questions where my response doesnt matter, yes?

Yeah, Mirian said. You know soul magic, right?

Xipuatl went still and looked at her. Nicolus and Nurea had already departed, and it was just the two of them in the study room.

Mirian continued. That was also a rhetorical question. Listencan you teach me?

Xipuatl kept staring at her. Finally, he said, Hypothetically, if you were right, what would I gain? Besides exposure to criminal heresy charges.

A research partner. You think Baracuels arcanists are a tier below your nagual. That our researches are missing key information. I can help you prove it, but only if you teach me the basics.

Whos your source?

I overhear things, she said, because saying you are would lead to too many questions.

The other student ground his jaw lightly, still considering Mirian. As before, she knew he wanted to work on his theory, but shed also moved a lot faster than she normally did, and he was understandably cautious.

I dont need a research partner, he finally said, and closed the buckle on his bag. He put on his cloak and headed for the door.

Did you get into Arcane Mathematics with Professor Jei? she asked.

Xipuatl paused at the door, then turned.

I did. You need a mathematician. Thats me. I just want the basics. It was her best in. Offering money to Xipuatl would be silly. Despite her credit from Tower Trust and the stolen coins from the spy, her finances still paled compared to someone in the nobility, even with a minor family like the Yanez. Xipuatl hadnt moved from the door, so Mirian opened up her notebook. This is my cartography device design. Heres the four dimensional arrays were using to calculate true mana paths. Heres my notes from calculusthat was my second year here.

Xipuatl closed the door and sat down. Youve certainly been hiding in the shadows. Id never even heard your name before Nicolus told me about you. Said you were some sort of weird little genius in alchemistry. Then it turns out youve already read half of the spell engine books we were planning on dividing up.

Mirian scoffed. Im no genius. But I work hard, and I dont give up.

Thats more valuable than intelligence. But better still if combined. What are you willing to commit to?

I can build or modify detectors, or any device you need. Unless they have something super expensive, I can finance them myself. And Im well, Im skeptical. But Im willing to listen. And I never stop learning.

He stood again, then paced around the room. He wanted toMirian could tell. I need time to think, he said. Talk to me tomorrow.

Well, it wasnt a no. She could live with that.

***

The next day, Mirian snuck in a few questions about miniaturizing glyphs in Artifice Design. Torres briefly diagrammed the mechanical devices needed, which Mirian enthusiastically jotted down. One type was purely mechanical, and like a primitive printing press, could only draw one glyph at a time. The newer kinds mimicked the movement of a persons hand by reading their actions and then reducing the force-output applied to a small pen inside the device. Of course, an arcanist was still needed to operate the device to get good mana flow. The attempts to create automatic glyph scribing machines using spell engines failed because the engines were incredibly wasteful, and the entropic mana radiating off the device damaged the glyphs as they were being scribed. Mirian was pleased to note that the devices used similar principles to her cartography device that was currently languishing in the catacombs.

In Illusion Spells, Professor Marva was repeating the lessons from last loop. Mirian doodled conceptual designs in her notebook and thought about how she could move to the more advanced illusion classes. Mid-quarter transfer, maybe? But shed have to prove she was good enough to skip a core prerequisite class. Given that the apocalypse always cut the quarter short, it was going to take more than a few more loops for her to get that good.

After Spell Engine Alchemistry, Mirian caught Xipuatls eye from two rows over and raised her eyebrows questioningly. In turn he mouthed more time. Dammit, dont back out, Mirian thought.

In Combat Magic, Mirian and Daith partnered up again.

They got right back to the practice grounds with the detectors. Midway through the session, Mirian felt particularly good about one of her minor lightning spells. But when she looked to Daith, he announced, 36 myr.

Five hells, is that it?

Daith was regularly getting in the 40s, and lightning wasnt even his specialty. They werent supposed to be using magnetic spells, but hed cast warp metal and gotten a high of 54 myr on the detectorat point of target, too, not even just at the spell origin.

It feels like youre holding back, he said.

Im not, she said, but after class, it got Mirian thinking. Was she holding back? Shed been taught to hold back a lot as a child. Her fierce temper as a kid had gotten her into trouble until she learned how to control it. Thered been the that thing that had happened, and shed been a barely contained tempest of emotions. She could still remember her fists flying at school, and then Dad taking her asideonly the memories were all jumbled. One of them was Dad, and one of them she shook her head to try to clear it. Shed heard the same thing in dueling class, where if you were afraid of hurting your opponent, your attacks would never be fast enough. Was she afraid of losing control? When shed first started at the Academy, shed been afraid to unleash a spell she couldnt control, or break a capacitor by overwhelming it with mana. Unfounded fears, but did they still linger in her subconscious?

As a result, Mirian didnt take very many notes in Arcane Physics.

Xipuatl met her after class. First, he checked to make sure no one was listening in. Then he said, Ive made up my mind. I need a drop of your blood, though. Thats the only way Ill agree to it.

Why? Mirian asked, suddenly suspicious.

Insurance. To make sure you dont double-cross me.

I havent crossed you once, so itd be single-crossing, actually. But how does blood help with that? Shed heard tales of blood being used for sinister spells as a girl. As far as she knew, they were all just that: tall tales that were part of the necromancers are scary genre. None of their studies had covered blood being used in any ritual or glyph. But then again, necromancy was banned in all forms, and that included discussion of it. Would any of her professors even know?

Hopefully, by the time you find out, well have established enough trust that it wont be necessary.

Mirian bit her lip. She was pretty sure Xipuatl was trustworthy. After all, hed been steadfast in helping organize the exodus of the town, and hed fought hard to help them all escape. Or was that just an act and he really just cared about his own skin Well, how much harm can he do in a few days? I accept, she said.

Good. Lets head back to my place. Itll be easier to teach there, and more secure. Did you know theres a girl that likes to follow you?

Mirian looked around, but didnt spot the her in question. Oh Gods. Is it Valen? She is seriously obsessed. I dont know whats wrong with her. Also, it was a little creepy that Xipuatl had been watching her to see what she got up to. But then again, she knew things about Xipuatl that this version of him had never told her, which was weird in itself. It was hard to be a time traveler and not be creepy.

Short sixth year, dirty blond hair, struts about like she owns the world and gives everyone she runs into attitude?

Mirian sighed. Yeah thats Valen. Shes probably harmless. Yeah, lets go.

Xipuatls place was nested among several other apartments for the wealthy, between the old theater and Torrviol Lake. It wasnt inherited property, either; the Yanez family had simply bought the property when their son had been accepted into the Academy. Xipuatl offhandedly mentioned a servant had lived with him the first two years until he was deemed capable of living independently.

Mirian was envious of that. Shed been a nervous wreck her first two years, having to carefully manage her money and do a hundred things adults did that shed never done back home. That, and Torrviol had seemed terrifyingly big compared to her village of Arriroba, and always full of strangers.

The apartment looked normal enough on the outside, but on the inside, it had few decorations that were normal to Baracuel. Xipuatl was clearly far more proud of his Tlaxhuacan heritage, even though he was also half Baracueli, and the art displays reflected that. The living room wall displayed a conspicuous banner containing the black and green of the Tlaxhuaco and the white and red world-tree symbol in the center of the design. The ornate pottery, carved jade, and wooden statues had none of the realism that Baracueli artists favored. Instead, they were heavy in symbolism, with leaves and sunbeams figuring prominently, even in the faces of figures.

and this is the meditation room, Xipuatl said. The meditation room was far more drab, with gray and brown tapestries covering the walls and ceiling. In the center was a carpet woven to resemble the night sky, and in the corners of the room, four stelae that were the only splash of bright color. The stelae were some kind of pale wood that was streaked with a dark gray irregular grain. Part of the natural wood remained, including the thin bark. Other parts had been painted with swirling vivid cyan and scarlet, then adorned with coiled golden wire. Though abstract, they gave the impression of coiled serpents, spread wings, and people in motion.

Wow, Mirian said. These are gorgeous. And ridiculously expensive, Ill bet. The gold wire alone probably costs as much as a smaller apartment. The totems had been rooted to the wooden floor so that they seemed to grow out of it. She wondered if it was a result of normal wood-fusing spells, or from some soul magic, like when Xipuatl had turned the banebriar vines on the scarabites.

Xipuatl didnt comment, he just shut the door.

There were no windows in the meditation room, and Mirian noted that the door leading to it was reinforced by glyphs. The room became dark, the faint glow of the stelae the only thing illuminating the room.

Now we can talk openly, he said. I know its unlikely that the Luminate Order is listening, and technically, Tlaxhuacan traditional practices are protected by treaty, but several people in my family have died to overzealous priests. You understand my caution.

Died? Shed thought that necromancer-hunting was a thing of the past. Of course, the Luminate order did seem to have a different reputation out west. I do, she said.

So what do you already know? he asked.

Mirian frowned. Not much, she admitted. Most of it was suspicions, and the rest of it things from past loops. Celestial magicah, soul magic, that isI know the priests use it. Ive always been fascinated by it, but Ive never used it.

The first thing you need is a focus, Xipuatl said. Its like an arcane catalyst. He went over to the far wall.

Luminate priests dont use a focus, Mirian said.

Yeah they do. Their holy symbol. The engraved amulets they all have that they wear beneath their shirts. They try to be subtle about it, but they need them just as surely as an arcanist needs their own tools.

That made sense to Mirian, but she was stuck on the why? Why hide it?

Foci are harder to get than arcane catalysts. They dont just come from magical beasts. Theres a reason the Order is protective of theirs. This one belongs to my family, he said, and drew a jade relic from the wall. He had reached through the stone, and Mirian realized there was a persistent illusion hiding a recessed shelf. Clever. The jade relic was carved to resemble some kind of bird, though one shed never seen before. Its wings were splayed wide, but outlining it were flames, as if it had caught fire. Along the body, it looked like there were glyphs, though like none that Mirian had ever seen.

Runes, he said.

The holy language of the Luminate Order. Onlyyou have them too. So he hadnt been lying about that last cycle. Tlaxhuaco knows them. Does the Order know?

Does that bother you? he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Its curious. It seems like all I run into these days is more mysteries. As soon as one thing makes sense, two more dont.

Oh?

Mirian sighed. It would take too long to explain. So how do the foci work?

A focus needs to be made out of one of the Elder reliquaries, then carved with the right runes to function. The runes are different for each holy material.

The Elder reliquaries? Shed never heard that term before.

Its... hmm. I dont think it translates right from TlaxaI think the Order calls it something else, but thats just another of the secrets they keep.

So thats not mundane jade, is it?

No. Its irreplaceable. Suffice to say, it will not be leaving this room, and you are sworn to secrecy. Please hold out your pinky finger.

Why do I haveoh right. The drop of blood. Mirian winced at the slight prick of Xipuatls thin knife. She watched him place the drop in a glass vial with a careful collect liquid spell, then place the vial in his jacket pocket.

The meditation practices we used in our first year that allow us to sense and tap into our auric mana will work, but your minds eye must be directed with more scrutiny. To see your soul, you must see yourself. Self-deception will hinder your sight. When first starting out, there is a dance I learned that helps you get in touch with your body, so we will start there.

A dance? Mirian said, skeptical.

A dance, Xipuatl said. It has been preserved from time immemorial. Pre-Cataclysm, according to the stories. Once we have done it, I will guide you through the breathing and self-reflection exercises that will start to bring your soul into focus. It will probably take several days before you can even begin to see the outlines of it.

Mirian nodded.

Xipuatl was a good teacher. There were seventeen forms in all, linked by sixteen movements. Several of the forms shed actually used in the martial practices they used to warm up for dueling, and she found it was easy to subsume her conscious thoughts into growing silent as she delved into the rhythm and physicality of the exercise. Unlike the lessons Mirian was giving Selesia, there was no undercurrent flowing beneath the instruction. Xipuatl was serious, and his eyes stayed analytical as he watched her for mistakes.

By the end of it, Mirian could feel her pulse echoing within herself, reaching from her fingertips to her toes. Then Xipuatl handed her the jade focus to hold. The stone had strange feel to it, like it was neither hot nor cold. Then, he guided her in reflection, his voice soothing and steady. She felt her heart calming, and she looked within. In the periphery of her minds eye, she first saw the four distant beaconsthe stelae in the room, she knew. Within that square, she could see the faint flow of her aura, moving like smoke on a windy day. Always before, there had been nothing within that. She tried, as Xipuatl directed, to look through the focus, and found that she slipped into it as easily as a warm bath. Xipuatls voice faded in her ears, and it was like she was hearing another voice, older and deeper, with a faint echoso familiar, but where shed heard it slipped around the edges of her mind. Look deeper, Mirian, holding onto the focus holding onto yourself.

Within her was a flow, but unlike the tempestuous sky of an aura, this was the tight swirls of magma. The currents swirled into themselves, and even as they radiated a dangerous heat, there was a viscosity to it that spoke of resilienceand yet, it was still liquid. I am not static, like a stone at rest. If I am to see myself, I must see that I am always changing, always moving. The soul is not water that can be locked in a jar, but the current of a river that is defined by its movement.

And there it was, she realizedher soul. She could not see the totality of it as an outsider, but here, within herself, she could feel it as it stirred within her. Onlythere was something wrong. Or not wrong, but strangethere was a place where the currents never went, a place by her heart that thrummed along with her soul, but was empty. A void, she thought at first, but no, it wasnt empty. There was something there, within her.

She emerged from the trance with a start, heart racing.

Good Xipuatl started to say, then he saw her expression. Whats wrong?

I I dont know, she said. Theres something else in my soul.

Share