Published at 11th of June 2020 6:45 am

Chapter 609: A Curious Feature of the Empire

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Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation

When the New Empire was founded, and her constitution was being drafted, Baiyi wished to give up his right to veto. He accepted the roles of Emperor and Chief Commander, but as he was still the One True God with absolute control over this world, tending to state affairs was too trivial for him. Baiyi wanted to watch over from the shadows, which would allow him to spend the rest of his life enjoying the joy of fatherhood.

However, some people cited to him the shortcomings of a parliamentary system, hoping he would choose to do otherwise. If parliaments went at each other over a dispute, would this not lower their efficiency to make laws? “You wouldn’t want your precious world to descend into that, right?”

After thinking about it, Baiyi agreed: some issues that one needs to take the fall for might crop up at any time. Hence, Baiyi accepted the roles assigned to him, but on the condition that Congress would allow him to remain inactive during most of its meetings. Controversial issues were to be summarised into memos and passed to Baiyi for his perusal.

When the nation was finally established, her lawmakers ruled over a relatively small country with their rose-tinted glasses on. Not many issues that needed Baiyi’s attention had arisen, and most of the time, Baiyi was only a figurehead, who only joined proceedings once every season. Most of Baiyi’s final verdicts were reasonably simple, as the issues were rather straightforward.

The nation continued to grow. As the population increased, societal structures began to get complicated, and more important questions came up. Instances when the Head of State was needed to steer the board on track increased. The number of times Baiyi participated in Congress’s matters increased; from once every season to once a month, and now, it had become once a week. At this rate, it was only a matter of time before Baiyi was forced to attend Congress’s daily meetings.

The issues that needed Baiyi’s decision slowly became more complicated, involving more factors and stakeholders. In the past, Baiyi could decide complicated issues with a “Yes” or “No”, but now, many factors had to be taken into consideration — i.e., multiple-choice questions. The difficulty in making the right judgment spiked exponentially, and soon, issues that needed Baiyi to ‘fill in the blanks’ by himself began to crop up. When such issues cropped up, Congress threw their hands in the air and begged, “O our Most Powerful God-Emperor! We can’t solve Problem X! Please, use your Law-altering powers to make it go away!”

As most students knew, ‘fill-in-the-blanks’ questions were the worst kind of short-form questions. Only the most troublesome of affairs brought up these hair-raising issues, such as: pandemics.

Unfortunately for Baiyi, to resolve such issues, he could not simply grant the silly wishes of his followers during a Mass. Whenever he resolved such issues with his Arbiter’s Rights, a long and tedious period of intense rehabilitation to the new world’s fundamental Laws followed. As civilization advanced and these issues decreased, Baiyi was sure to be really relieved.

There were other functions that Baiyi could not skip out on, such as: diplomatic interactions with the otherworlds, massive religious activities, and various academic symposia — the only event Baiyi truly enjoyed. At this point, Baiyi felt that he would not have time to enjoy fatherhood, even if he gave up on most of his executive responsibilities.

Baiyi could not even remember the last time he ate with his daughters.

However, the New Empire prospered under Baiyi’s rule, at the cost of his time and freedom. Baiyi did not think that he could ever be rid of the shackles of work, as there was no one to take over if he did. It was impossible for Mia; his daughters were too young, and none of his students aspired to succeed him.

Baiyi once tried to get the Archmage to help, but he was replied with an unwelcome display of schadenfreude.

“Me, take over your position?! Do I look stupid enough to say yes?!” The Archmage joked. “Look at me! I’m now a frickin’ billionaire! I can spend as much money as I want, to draw whatever character I want! And if I can’t, screw them; I’ll just throw cash on faces of their CEO, and the game company will become mine! When I’m bored, I just hang out with my adorable granddaughters or take in a new student that is more promising and obedient than you! You have no idea how happy I am — hahaha hahaha!”

Having received a tremendous number of generous monetary gifts from Baiyi and other students, all of whom wished to express their gratitude for his guidance, the Archmage was now filthy rich. His status was pretty high, too. His current list of titles included ‘Royal Gramps’, ‘Former Emperor’, and ‘Founding Grandfather.’ These titles made people admire and adore him. From any angle that one looked at it, the Archmage had gotten the long end of the stick.

This was Baiyi’s life today. When the terrible incident happened at home, Baiyi was seated on his throne, his feet on the table. Nothing said by members of Congress caught his attention, as he was focused on thinking up solutions to the present complicated issues.

Baiyi had his armor on at that moment. After the Voidwalkers regained their real bodies — thanks to Void Energy — Baiyi only needed a thought to change his appearance. However, the public was used to see Baiyi as a Soul Armature, so whenever he had to attend public events, he chose to remain a Soul Armature. Only at home would Baiyi revert to being a human.

Shapeshifting had other perks. For example, one of the methods to pleasure the Huffing Piggies — the Warrior Walker, the Assassin Walker, and the Fairy Walker — were those tentacles…

At the moment, keeping him company was the little dragon lady and the Fourth Queen Consort of the New Empire, Aya. She had worn one of her best dresses and sat beside him like a good and supportive wife.

Aya had ended up with the shorter end of the stick: not only had she been ousted by the Huffing Piggies, but she was also the only wife yet to bear a child. This was the case because Mordred was adopted. When Baiyi was constructing the Laws of the new world, he had been careful to weaken the reproductive barrier between species. The Huffing Piggies had each born him a child, but despite his best ‘endeavors’, Aya had yet to get pregnant. Aya was so desperate to conceive that she suggested that Baiyi and her transform into dragons and then hook up — an idea that Baiyi shot down immediately. This left Aya feeling bitter.

The Huffing Piggies felt sorry for Aya, so they let her keep Baiyi company during his meetings at Congress. The Huffing Piggies turned their attention to diplomatic missions and the management of Bai Family’s properties, allowing Aya to spend a bit more time with Baiyi.

Only a woman could tell if this was an act of goodwill or a ploy to have Aya take on the boring role — keeping Baiyi company during meetings.

“It’s almost time, beloved,” Aya poked Baiyi’s waist and whispered.

Baiyi’s attention returned to the crowd below.

The Imperial Chamber resembled an open theater. Those that wanted to propose a bill or give a speech would stand on a dais at the center of the hall, surrounded by a crowd of congress members. Those that wanted to counter arguments or argue against proposed bills also had to stand at the center stage.

Currently, a rather large member of congress had just finished his speech. He had just proposed a tax-reform bill for a dozen products, and he had taken his sweet time whilst doing so.

“… And that, ladies and gentlemen, is all. For more details, please read the proposal that will now be shown to you,” said the large man, and a large magic screen appeared, on which was the man’s proposal for every member of Congress to see.

“With that, I yield my remaining time to the opposition,” said the large man, loosening his tie and taking off his blazer. The blazer had rather right for him because he was quite muscular.

The congressman that opposed the bill quickly got to his feet. This pugnacious man was as large as a wild bear, and his face, which resembled a mutt’s, played host to a wild beard. The man waved a document and yelled, “Unlike the man that came before me — who probably feels he’s the world’s most monotone rapper — I’m not a fan of boring everyone. There’s no need for a speech; our arguments are already in front of you, ladies and gentlemen.”

Another magic screen appeared before each member of Congress. A smart application began to parse each man’s arguments into concise points, with highlights and marks on their differences, improving the clarity of their arguments.

The bear-like man that opposed the bill took center stage and removed his shirt, revealing his rock-like abs.

“Heh. Spoken like a true braindead barbarian. You think I’m trapped with you, but in truth, you’re trapped with me. The point of my speech was to exhaust your vigor!” The first man, who was also large, smirked as he walked closer to the bear-like man.

“I’m betting on Bull-san,” Baiyi said to Aya.

Aya took out her phone and began to screen. “Why the smaller guy, Beloved?” She asked.

“He’s the underdog. High risk, high return. Thrilling.”

Aya had not finished when a crisp “Ding!” rang out in the chamber.

The two muscular men ran into each other and began to throw punches, kicks, and each other. One could call this WWE: Parliament. The loud sound of fighting rang out in the hall.

A few moments later, the bear-like man managed to land an uppercut on the first man, knocking him out instantly. Medical personnel, who had been on stand-by, rushed over. They carried the first man away and provided emergency medical treatment, while the bear-like man thumped the air with his fists and roared — “Ywaaaargghh! Time to vote!” — as a thunderous round of applause rang out.

The audience shifted their attention to the magic screens before them and began to vote. The results of the vote were shown on a larger screen at the center of the hall.

The majority of Congress voted to implement the tax-reform bill; the bear-like man had won the fight but lost the motion. He left the stage feeling dejected. “How did my epic upper-cut not get me the upper-hand? Damn it; the art of manly fighting is lost on these stupid centrists…”

Truthfully, during the first few years of the New Empire, parliamentary proceedings did not feature such a counter-civilization method at all. Although sentiments might be stoked and quarrels escalated to something slightly physical, they were mostly harmless diatribes and harangues. Then came a day when Baiyi joined the proceeding and watched two factions censuring each other with occasional shoe-throwing.

The optic was repulsive, so the Emperor said, “You guys look like you wanna just punch one another in the face, so… what’s stopping you? Our medical advance is more than apt to cover up any injuries. I doubt anyone will die.”

That was how the tradition of parliamentary foofaraw began. In fact, many opined that using their fists was much more exciting than using their mouths, and thought the spectacle attracted more support from centrists. They needed to have a bit more class than turning the parliament into a bar fight, so the tradition evolved into a duel, like the one between the Bull and the Bear.

Thus, this curious feature of Baiyi’s parliament remained. It was a great emotional outlet for conflicting parties and a spectacle to earn as much support from centrists and unaffiliated members. Most importantly, it was solid entertainment for their mighty but bored Emperor and themselves. Their medical progress had become so advanced that no one was ever severely injured, after all.

Of course, none of these duels ever significantly influenced supports for any motion, at least according to actual statistical studies. Still, even this was to be expected; one had to possess a certain set of qualifications to become a member of Baiyi’s parliament.

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