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I stood still near the window and stared at the appearing stars. Among the stars there was a glowing moon. I was calming my messy mind then the door quietly opened, and he came in.
“Just like you said, I finished my work.”
He slowly walked and stopped in the middle of the room. I quietly sighed.
“It must be tiring. You should go to sleep…”
“I’m not tired. I want to hear something that you’ve been hiding until now.”
“I’m not hiding anything.”
“No, you do have it.”
He said it firmly and came to me right away and grabbed my arm.
“I didn’t want to hear that from anybody else. Especially from Empress. So let’s say she never said anything. Tell me.”
“…What?”
“I think my Madame knows better.”
I was just staring at the floor with my arm grabbed by him. I slowly opened my mouth.
“Tell what? Tell you that I’m scared that I might get caught that I'm a male? Tell you that I dare to hold you in my heart? Tell you that I’m a mere shower of rain that will definitely dirty your reputation, so I was trying to run away because I couldn’t be greedy, but I ended up staying? Tell you that since I stayed, I became greedy, and so I didn’t even plan to run away and struggle to stay as long as I can? Tell you that I still struggle to get more of the feeling of the person I love, so I couldn’t even show single strand of my feeling, so I was rotting from the inside? What if I love you and love you, I even abandoned my sister?
“Yeho.”
“How about I dare to made a deal with the Empress? I accepted her term just in case you leave my side. She told me she will become my powerful background. She said if I am the Madame, she would be able to block other concubines. She said I was convenient because I’m not greedy or ambitious. She said she’ll let me stay as long as I don’t block the First Prince’s future. There is no way I can block him. How dare this man! So I told her I won’t. Now you can’t kick me out even if you don’t want me.”
“Who told you I will leave you?!”
He screamed at me.
“Why are you a shower of rain?! Yes, let’s say that you are one. Do you think I would get wet by that mere rain? Just like you said, I am the Highest Man! The owner of this land!”
I closed my eyes hearing his shout. Underneath my closed eyes, the tears were coming out. He embraced me and wiped the tears off with his hand.
“Let’s say that you are the shower of rain. So what? Wasn't that a shower of rain during the Planting Festival? A shower of rain that brings good harvest is still a shower of rain. How can the world grow if there is no rain? If you are not here then….”
He stopped his word and leaned his head on my shoulder and said it like murmuring.
“…I went to the Land Embracing Palace before I came here. To see the Empress. I didn’t know what the Empress was thinking. She basically hand you in my hand, so I decided to thank her. Then suddenly she said something. The world’s luckiest man is the North Empire’s Emperor.”
I remembered what she said. A woman who will assist, and a woman who will just look at him. No actually it’s correct to say a man. She said he is lucky because he got both of them.
“The owner of the world got everything. A wife that fits into his place. She was saying why the heaven send a person that loves him to this heartless man. She pretended that she didn’t see me and said it loudly. Yes, that’s true. She is correct. But not because I am the owner of the world or because I have her. It’s because I have you. Don’t ask me why. If you know where the love came from, then is that even love? I don’t know. It’s has to be you. I can do whatever you want. I can do that.”
I embraced him putting my arms around his back, and I said it quietly.
“Don’t get mad at me for being scared.”
“Yes.”
“I will continuously get scared and care about how other people think.”
“I got it.”
“I didn’t even think of running away. I thought I was going to die if I couldn’t see you. So don’t assume I’m thinking of running away.”
“Okay.”
“And, don’t, don’t you ever kneel down on me.”
I whispered to him with my wet voice, and he embraced me.
“If you don’t crouch and cry by yourself like that, I won't.”
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The End