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Kodoku na Inutachi (Light Novel) - Chapter 8
Chapter 8
This chapter is updated by NovelFree.ml
When his tears finally stopped, Kyosuke started to feel embarrassed for having wailed like a child, so he nervously removed his arms from around Kanou’s back and drew away from him.
“……I’m sorry for getting so upset……”
“No, it’s fine,” Kanou replied in his usual calm voice, and when Kyosuke looked up his eyes locked right with Kanou’s.
“……!” Kyosuke’s heart skipped a beat.
Kanou was looking down at Kyosuke with a gentle look in his eyes that Kyosuke had never seen before until now.
“Thank you for telling me the truth behind my brother’s death.”
Feeling flustered, Kyosuke averted his eyes, because he didn’t know what else to do. No, rather, he was hoping to convey his feelings of gratitude to Kanou by lowering his head like this.
“It doesn’t feel right to accept your gratitude because in the end I wasn’t able to save him.” The smile on Kanou’s face was replaced with a look of regret.
“No……” It couldn’t be helped, he was going to say, but he felt sorry for his brother so he was unable to deny that. However, Kyousuke now truly believed that neither Kanou nor anyone would have been able to stop the even from happening. And yet, Kanou still looked like he had deep feelings of guilt.
Could it be…? Kyosuke was struck with an idea and decided he would hit Kanou with it.
“I’m sorry if I’m wrong about this, but when I transferred hospitals, were you the one who paid the expenses for it, Kanou-san?”
Sahashi had told him that that money had come from the life insurance that his older brother had applied for, but Kyosuke couldn’t help but feel like something wasn’t right about that when he had heard it at that time. For starters, he had never seen any mail or received any telephone calls from the said insurance company, and he doubted his older brother, being still a young man, would really be thinking about what would happen if he were to die. In the end, it turned out that Kyosuke’s hunch had proven to be right.
“……That’s the least I could do….”
Hearing him softly say those words, Kyosuke once again lowered his head.
“I’m truly thankful for that. Perhaps you had also arranged for me to go to the high school in Kansai, Kanou-san?”
“……….”
Seeing Kanou silent, Kyosuke figured that he was right about that as well, but rather than feeling thankful for that, he felt more guilty.
“I’m sorry…..I’m really-I’m really sorry for everything that happened until now.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s something I did on my own, but I don’t think I can possibly make amends just by having done that.”
“You don’t need to make amends,” Kyosuke told him firmly, and then decided he would find out for sure if the ‘ultimate gratitude’ he had towards Kanou was justified.
“Um, when I tried to join the organization, you immediately realized it and tried to stop me……right?”
“……….”
Seeing Kanou fall silent again made Kyosuke believe that he was not mistaken about this.
“How did you find out?”
“I heard from the informant, Yukiko. He said that Kouta brought an underling with him. At the same time, I received information from Sahashi that you had vanished from the hospital, so I thought perhaps the underling was you.”
“So that was it……”
Kyosuke now understood but remembered one more thing he wanted to ask.
“Um……”
However he hesitated asking this, because he wasn’t sure if he wanted to make certain of it, so he stopped talking.
“……….”
It seemed that Kanou understood what it was that Kyosuke wanted to ask. Perhaps this was something hard for him to answer, so he also fell silent as well. The hospital room was quiet for a short time, but Kyosuke knew that the conversation had to continue so he braced himself and said: “Um, you were protecting me when you said you were going to make me your ‘woman’, right?”
“……Yeah,” Kanou gave him a curt reply, looking slightly hesitant, but then lowered his head. “……I’m sorry for doing something so horrible.”
“No, don’t apologize for that either……”
He had wanted to hear him apologize for that. However, Kyosuke quickly shook his head, thinking that Kanou had already apologized to him plenty.
“You just wanted to let the people in the organization know that I was your ‘woman’, right? Besides…at that time, I was hopeless. I didn’t even care if I died, so you were trying to get me to hold another grudge against you by doing that to me, right?” As Kyosuke asked this he thought that Kanou for sure would say, ‘That’s exactly right’, but when he imagined Kanou saying that to him, he realized that it would bring him shock and it astounded him. Why would he be shocked to hear Kanou say that? He didn’t know. However, in his heart he honestly couldn’t suppress how much it would depress him to hear that. What was he getting so depressed for? It scared Kyosuke to search his subconsciousness for the answer to that question, so he tried to stop thinking about it.
“……That was because……” Kanou began, but Kyosuke inadvertently interrupted him.
“It’s okay. I’m sorry. I understand now. I guess I was just surprised, that’s all. I.. um….well….had never done something like thatbefore so……” As Kyosuke talked, he felt he was beginning to not make any sense, so he closed his mouth for a moment. Silence passed between them again. “Umm….so….”
He was extremely embarrassed. As Kyosuke looked down, blushing, he heard Kanou’s slightly husky voice.
“So it was your first time? …You’ve…..never been with a woman before either?”
“Huh?” The surprise in Kanou’s voice caught him off guard and Kyosuke inadvertently raised his head. But when he looked up, he made eye contact with Kanou so he quickly looked down again. He felt his heart beat faster when those black eyes had gazed at him.
“I’m sorry. If I had known it would be your first time, I wouldn’t have said that I was going to make you my ‘woman’. I would have went a different route……” Kanou seemed flustered. Kyosuke had never seen him like that until now, so out of curiosity he couldn’t help but raise his head again to sneak a peek at his face.
“……I’m sorry. Go report it if you need to.”
“Report it? To who?” He asked, not understanding, and Kanou replied softly, looking troubled.
“To the police……Say you had a dirty thing happen to you.”
“I’m not going to report it. ‘Cause there was a reason for it,” Kyosuke answered, and Kanou finally looked him in the eye.
“A reason?…..Yeah.”
“……There was, right?” Kyosuke unconsciously asked because Kanou was looking like he wanted to say something he couldn’t clearly put into words.
“……….” Kanou looked more and more troubled and yet remained silent.
“……Um……” Kyosuke was not expecting Kanou to be silent like this, so he accidentally asked Kanou another question. “You did that because I lost the will to live again……right? And you wanted to convince that thug named Akira, right?”
He thought that this explanation to that incident wasn’t wrong, but for some reason it made him sad. However, Kanou slowly shook his head, no.
“……What?!”
He didn’t get it. That’s why Kyosuke suddenly exclaimed, and Kanou began to speak with a complicated expression on his face.
“Of course it had been my intention to do what you’ve just said…..but I can’t say that that was the only reason.”
“……….What……….?” He didn’t get it, but strangely he bagan to feel hopefull. “What do you mean by that?” His voice shook when he asked. What was he hoping for? Kyosuke couldn’t explain what it was that he was hoping for, but nevertheless, it had taken a lot of courage to ask that.
“I mean……” Kanou tried to answer but hesitated and kept quiet.
“Please tell me.”
He wanted to hear the truth come out of Kanou’s own mouth. But did he really want to hear the ‘truth’ or something completely different? He was unable to answer that, but urged Kanou for an answer anyway.
“I mean……” Kanou spoke again. For a moment, he looked like he was hesitating, but then right the next moment it seemed that he had made up his mind and began speaking in a clear voice. “The reason I did that was have you regain your dignity, and it’s no lie that I did want to revive your will to live again. However, that wasn’t all……I think. Yes……If I were asked whether I had done what I did without any wicked intentions, then I don’t trust myself to answer yes to that.”
“……….Kanou-san……….”
At that moment, a warm feeling filled Kyosuke’s chest.
Happiness – surely that was the feeling. But why did he feel so happy? Unable to find the answer for that, Kyosuke gazed into Kanou’s eyes and Kanou gazed back.
“I robbed you of your brother’s life……To atone for that, I’ve always watched over you and yet, before I knew it, I……” Kanou said that much before he seemed to come to his senses. He closed his mouth as if to say, ‘Never mind,’ and shook his head.
“Before you knew it…..what?”
He was practically begging here. He wanted wanted Kanou to tell him the rest so badly. He wanted to hear it from the very person himself. That was his only wish right now and that’s why Kyosuke was so insistent as he clinged to Kanou when he asked him.
“Kyosuke-kun………”
For a moment, Kanou drew back from Kyousuke, because he was being so unexpectedly assertive.
“……….Ah……….”
Realizing that, blood rushed to Kyosuke’s cheeks out of anxiety. Kyosuke understood that he was acting too greedy as he looked down with flushed cheeks. But at that moment, Kanou reached out and took Kyosuke’s face in his hands.
“……Do you mean you forgive me…….?” Kanou asked cautiously, and after hesitating a little, Kyosuke gave him a deep nod.
“………..”
Kanou looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t.
“You weren’t disgusted with me?”
Kyouske understood that to be was what he was trying to ask, but Kyosuke himself couldn’t answer it so he also kept quiet. The silence that passed between them wasn’t uncomfortable like it had been up until now. What were the words to describe it? It was like a sweet stillness.
“I tried to get you to hold a grudge in order to keep you alive,” Kanou said quietly, breaking that silence.
“……Yes……”
Because of that he was alive like this now. Kyosuke nodded as Kanou peered into his eyes and said, “Don’t you hate me?”
“I did hate you…..but……..”
After he had found out the truth, he could only felt grateful for what Kanou had done for him. Kyosuke was about to put that into words, but Kanou interrupted him: “I couldn’t protect your brother.”
“……….”
Kyosuke wished he could have protected his brother, however, that didn’t come true. But he didn’t intend to hold Kanou responsible for what had happened. With that, he shook his head, no, and Kanou continued to speak.
“I’ve also said only terrible things to you. And not just things I’ve said – my actions were also terrible.”
“All of what you did was because you were thinking of me, right?” Kyosuke asked, and this time, Kanou shook his head, no.
“That’s a good reason, but actually……”
“I’m happy. If there’s a chance your feelings for me are more than that…….”
“…….What…….?”
Hearing Kyosuke say that with all the courage he could muster left Kanou looking speechless.
“You see…….I’m…serious…about you…..”
He wasn’t just being polite. Kyosuke wanted Kanou to know that as he gazed straight at him.
“…….Is it alright for me to feel conceited?” Kanou asked with a somewhat dazed look on his face.
“Please do,” Kyosuke said, pressing himself to Kanou’s chest.
* * * *
They were on top of the bed when they understood that their feelings for one another were mutual. After silently gazing at each other, Kanou suddenly got up and headed towards the door of the hospital room. The suggestive sound of the door locking could be heard throughout the room. When Kanou turned around, he had an extremely bashful look on his face.
“……Are you alright?” Kanou asked about his condition and Kyosuke gave him a deep nod before spreading his arms out in an inviting manner.
“……….”
Kanou was about to say something but changed his mind. Instead, he walked over to Kyosuke, sat down on the bed and tightly embraced him.
“……….”
As Kyosuke returned Kanou’s embrace, he inadvertently let out a sigh. He felt that embracing like this increased his desire. He wanted to touch him and he wanted to be touched. Those feelings were growing stronger now, but Kyosuke, who’s never had any experience, didn’t know how to play it out. Although Kanou was tightly embracing him back, he didn’t proceed to the next step.
Impatience – never before had Kyosuke felt that kind of feeling sprout within him. Unable to control his urges, Kyosuke tightly embraced Kanou back. Kanou felt responsible for his brother’s death and had always been watching over him. He had taken it upon himself to make himself the enemy so that he could give Kyosuke the will power to live. Kyosuke was sorry that Kanou had decided to do that, so he didn’t feel like making him bear the responsibility for his brother’s lost life. It was never Kanou’s responsibility to begin with. He wanted to let Kanou know that, but even if he did let him know that, he was sure it wouldn’t erase Kanou’s guilt. Then what should he do now?
After thinking long and hard, he came up with an idea. Kyosuke gathered up his courage and decided he was going to put his wish into words. He was embarrassed and didn’t know how to begin but at this rate they were never going to do it. Provoked by impatience, Kyosuke gathered up his courage and said,
“Um……”
Since his throat was dry due to nervousness, it was difficult for him to talk. He cleared his throat and was about to talk again when at that moment, Kanou said into his ear: “……Can I hold you?”
“Yes!”
Hearing those words he had wished to hear, Kyosuke exclaimed enthusiastically despite himself.
“……!”
When he slightly parted and looked down at him, Kanou looked a little surprised at how quickly and loudly Kyosuke had answered.
“S- sorry.”
Kyosuke felt the blood rise to his head. He was embarrassed because it looked like he was tired of waiting. However, it was true that he replied so enthusiastically exactly because he was tired of waiting. Nothing I can do about it now, Kyosuke thought, preparing himself for the worst while looking directly at Kanou.
“I just really want you to hold me.”
“……….” Suddenly, Kanou smiled and held Kyosuke’s cheek in his left hand. “You’re so cute.”
“……I’m not……” cute, he was going to say, but Kanou pressed his lips to his own before he could finish.
A kiss! – Kyosuke’s heart leaped and he inadvertently shut his eyes. This was his first kiss. He had seen people kiss in dramas and movies, but he didn’t know how it was like. He felt a wet sensation on his closed lips while his heart raced so much he felt like it was going to explode.
“……….”
Soft – was his first impression and then…warm.
Were Kanou’s lips really touching his? It wasn’t like he doubted that, he just hadn’t expected another man’s lips to be this soft. Kyosuke opened his eyes and saw Kanou’s face up so close that it was out of focus.
“……!”
Perhaps sensing that, Kanou also opened his eyes a bit and looked down at Kyosuke.
Dazed, Kyosuke saw those eyes narrow in a smile, and his heart beat faster and faster until he felt it was becoming difficult to breathe. At that moment, Kanou’s lips slowly left his.
“……Ah……”
The warm sensation was gone, and as he was beginning to feel a bit sad about it, Kyosuke heard Kanou whisper in a slightly husky voice.
“Can you open your mouth a little?”
“……What……?” He asked, not sure of the reason for that. Kyosuke’s lips naturally parted when he spoke, but Kanou smiled and pressed his lips to his again.
“……Nghhh……!”
Kanou’s tongue entered through Kyosuke’s faintly parted lips and traced along the row of his teeth. A chill ran up Kyosuke’s spine and he couldn’t help squirming in Kanou’s arms. Kanou put a bit more pressure into the hand that touched Kyosuke’s cheek and tried to make Kyosuke open his mouth some more. For some reason, Kyosuke was feeling very weak but he opened his mouth with Kanou’s help. Kanou’s rough tongue licked the inside of Kyosuke’s mouth. A chill went up his spine and in turn, a strange feeling as well. He felt his body becoming hot. Finally, Kanou’s tongue caught hold of Kyosuke’s tongue and he began to suck on it.
“……!”
The moment he felt his cock pulsate, it seemed that he could feel blood flowing into the lower half of his body.
“……Ya……!”
It was embarrassing to have Kanou find out that he was hard, that’s why Kyosuke tried to pull himself away from him, but Kanou pulled him closer and entwined his tongue with his again. With that, Kanou slowly pressed his body weight on Kyosuke.
Naturally, Kyosuke slid down until his back touched the bed and it suddenly revived memories of that time Kanou had forced him to come. At that time, he had felt only humiliation, but now even though the same thing was happening to him, he definitely could feel only happiness. Kyosuke’s chest swelled with excitement and Kanou continued to kiss him as his hand crept over Kyosuke’s body, removing the hospital pajamas. When Kanou’s hand reached down to Kyosuke’s underwear, Kyosuke stopped that hand by reflex.
“……You don’t want to?” Kanou withdrew his lips and asked. He trembled when Kanou’s breath touched his lips.
“That’s…..not it……” He was aware that the front of his boxers was bulging and that his cock was getting hot. At that moment, Kyosuke also saw that the front of his underwear had a wet spot, so he covered it with his hands out of embarrassment.
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Kanou smiled, removed Kyosuke’s hands, pulled down his underwear.
“No……!”
This time, he covered his face with his hands, because he was embarrassed by his erection. He heard Kanou laugh in a way that sounded loving and not contemptuous. He wanted to see the kind of expression Kanou had on his face, because perhaps it was a smile, so Kyosuke peeked up at Kanou through his fingers.
“You’re so cute,” honestly, Kanou told him, gazing back at Kyosuke.
“No……I’m……” not, Kyosuke was about to say, but Kanou grabbed his cock, and Kyosuke couldn’t help but let out a cry instead. He felt like he was about to come just by having Kanou touch him. Of course that made Kyosuke feel embarrassed, so he tried with all his might to suppress his ejaculation.
“You don’t need to hold it back,” he heard Kanou laugh again and then he rubbed the tip of Kyosuke’s cock between his thumb and index finger.
“Ya……!” He squirmed, trying to avoid Kanou’s hand but not because it felt disgusting.
“What’s wrong?” Kanou asked and Kyosuke told him his wish despite how self-conscious he felt.
“Somehow…it feels wrong if I’m the only one feeling good.”
“……!” Kanou widened his eyes.
Was he appalled with him? Kyosuke wondered, his shame increasing. They had gotten this far, so he might as well tell it to him straight. Kyosuke braced himself and said: “I want to make you feel good too……I want to touch yours too.”
“……Kyosuke-kun,” Kanou said his name, looking surprised. Perhaps he was so surprised because Kyosuke had said something that was extremely embarrassing. Kyosuke wished he hadn’t said that.
“U- um…Kanou-san……” What should he do if he had offended him? Anxiety quickly swept over him as he tried to call out to Kanou, but Kanou gave an embarrassed smile and nodded.
“Will you touch me, then?”
“……Yes……!”
He could tell that Kanou was happy even though he looked embarrassed and with that Kyosuke’s anxiety vanished in a heartbeat. When Kyosuke gave him a nod, Kanou sat up slightly and lowered the zipper on his slacks, looking more and more embarrassed. Then he stuck his hand inside and pulled out his cock.
“Wahh……” Seeing Kanou’s sturdy cock again, Kyosuke couldn’t help but gasp in admiration. Along with the lustrous black hair, this thing had made Kyosuke feel pain and intolerable humiliation just some time ago, however, now this thing in front of Kyosuke did not appear so threatening. It looked lovely to him.
This was inside of me? Kyosuke thought, spacing out for a moment, but then immediately came back to his senses and nervously returned his gaze to Kanou’s face.
“Can I….touch it?” He asked.
“……Don’t press hard,” Kanou smirked, telling Kyosuke something he didn’t understand.
“What?”
When he asked him what he had meant by that, Kanou told him ‘never mind’, shaking his head.
“Touch me.”
“……Ye- yes……”
Trying to suppress his cry of amazement, Kyosuke slowly reached out and wrapped his hands around Kanou’s cock.
“……It’s hot……”
Kanou’s cock pulsated in his hands. He was surprised by how long and thick it was, but even more so, he was surprised by the heat and texture of it that he inadvertently stared at Kanou’s cock with deep interest.
“You’re embarrassing me, looking at me like that,” Kanou said truly sounding embarrassed and Kyosuke came back to his senses again.
“I’m sorry.”
“No need to apologize. Let’s come together,” Kanou said, smiling, and then suddenly began stroking Kyosuke’s cock.
“……Me too……”
He couldn’t just sit here and not do anything, Kyosuke thought as he too began stroking Kanou’s cock.
“Ah……! ……Ah! ……Yaa……!”
The more Kanou stroked him, the more Kyosuke began to lose focus in his own hand. This won’t do, Kyosuke thought, but induced by his feelings of desire, his thoughts began to fail him.
“Ah! ……Aahh……! ……Ah! Ah! AHHH!”
Just thinking about the fact that Kanou was stroking his cock made him overwhelmed.
I want Kanou to feel the same, Kyosuke thought and began to blindly stroke Kanou’s cock.
“I’m gonna cum……! I’m gonna cum……! I’m cominggg……!”
He had no idea what he was saying anymore though he did realize that he was sounding extremely coquettish and lewd.
“I’m cominggg……!”
He couldn’t take this anymore. At the same time Kyosuke screamed, he couldn’t help shooting out milky white fluid into Kanou’s hand.
“……!”
Kanou also caught his breath, but he still hadn’t come. His cock pulsated in Kyosuke’s hand, marking its presence. Breathing wildly, Kyosuke grasped Kanou’s cock and gazed into his eyes.
“Kyosuke-kun……?” Kanou asked, wondering what was wrong.
“……Umm……”
There was only one wish growing in Kyosuke’s heart right now – he wanted Kanou to hold him one more time. He wanted to be one with him. However, Kyosuke himself was confused as to why he had such a desire since he still clearly remembered the pain he had felt when he had been forcefully penetrated. He wanted Kanou to write over that memory. But even more than that, he wanted them to have consensual sex and that wish burst out of his heart.
“……I want…..you to hold me.”
If he didn’t say it, Kanou would not act. Kyosuke didn’t think that he would initiate anything on his own, because he himself had told Kyosuke it was okay to report that incident to the police. Because of that, Kyosuke put his embarrassment aside, gathered up all of his courage and told him that, but as he had imagined, Kanou looked troubled and slowly averted his eyes away from Kyosuke.
“But I……”
“I know, but I want to……I really want to be……” One with you, he was going to say, but obviously he was too embarrassed to finish that sentece.
Still averting his eyes, Kanou asked softly, “I’ve put you through so much….What should I say to make it up to you……?”
“You don’t need to say anything, so……” Kyosuke squeezed Kanou’s cock slightly. His cock pulsated and a bit of pre-cum spilled out.
“……It’s fine…..the way it is now,” Kyosuke also kept his eyes down when he said that because he was embarrassed, but right at that moment, he felt Kanou’s cock in his hand grow in size.
“……What……?” Bewildered, Kyosuke raised his head and met Kanou’s eyes.
“……I can hold you?” Kanou asked.
“Yesm” Kyosuke replied at once with a nod. Kanou smiled at him before removing Kyosuke’s hands from his cock and slowly lifting up Kyosuke’s legs.
“……I’m so embarrassed……” Kyosuke muttered without thinking when his hips were in the air and his legs spread open.
“You’re so cute,” after Kanou said that, making Kyosuke blush even more, he removed one of his hands from Kyosuke’s leg, brought it to his mouth and licked his finger. Kyosuke couldn’t help being fascinated by this sexy move, but he was aware of Kanou’s finger when it headed towards his backside and felt his body become stiff. He was much stiffer than he perceived himself to be, so he forced out a sigh.
“It’s okay,” Kanou said and quietly inserted his finger.
“Urgh……”
Although Kyosuke’s body grew even stiffer from having an object inside of him, as Kanou continued to slowly move his finger in deeper, he started to feel a different kind of feeling.
“…..What……?”
Kanou’s finger located the firm part near the entrance and the moment he touched it, Kyosuke felt as if his body rose up in the air as pre-cum gushed out of his weak cock. While he puzzled about why that had happened to him, Kanou continued moving his finger, making Kyosuke feel more and more of that ‘irresistible’ sensation.
“Something……is strange……”
Gradually, he felt his cock fill with heat. His soft insides began twitching around the finger still inside him. He didn’t understand what was happening to him.
When he complained that he felt strange, Kanou again said, “It’s okay,” and nodded, smiling.
“……….”
Relief filled his chest and he relaxed. Even when Kanou added a second finger inside him, he didn’t feel any pain. When Kanou had inserted three fingers in, he was surprised, but still didn’t feel pain. In fact, he began to feel more and more impatient.
“……It’ll be okay soon,” Kanou muttered as if talking to himself and slowly took out his fingers.
“……Ya!……”
Kyosuke let out a gasp as he felt his insides twitching as if they were trying to hold on to the fingers that left.
Kanou adjusted his grip on Kyosuke’s legs, looked seriously at Kyosuke and said,
“Tell me if it hurts. I’ll stop at once.”
“……Okay…….”
After waiting for Kyosuke to nod, Kanou pressed the tip of his cock where his fingers had been before. Kyosuke’s insides twitched more and more from the slippery sensation and he felt confused by this. When this had happened to him before, he had felt like throwing up the moment that hot mass had pressed into him, but now he felt different. Why? Perhaps it was because his impressions of this had changed now that he wanted to have sex. But he didn’t have time to continue being surprised at this as the tip of Kanou’s cock penetrated him. The thickness of it was incomparable to that of the fingers, but even though Kyosuke’s body grew stiff when Kanou moved his hips in closer, he didn’t feel any pain because he had been well prepared.
He could feel the mass of Kanou’s cock inside him. Kanou was being as gentle as possible with Kyosuke. Ever so slowly, he moved his hips into him. Finally, as soon as their lower regions touched, Kanou let out a sigh and Kyosuke looked up at him.
“……Does…it hurt?” Kanou asked in an excited voice. Just by thinking that he was giving Kanou pleasure made Kyosuke’s chest grow hot.
“I’m okay……” He nodded.
After looking slightly like he was hesitating, Kanou quietly asked, “Can I move?”
“……….”
At first Kyosuke didn’t understand what he meant by that, but then he remembered that Kanou had banged his hips against him when they had done it before. Remembering how much pain that had caused him made Kyosuke stiffen up for a moment.
“Should I stop?” Kanou asked, realizing what Kyosuke was thinking and tried to pull out. However, Kyosuke purposefully tightened his legs around Kanou’s back.
“It’s okay.”
Even if he was about to do something that brought about some pain, he wanted to accept it. After Kyosuke said that from the bottom of his heart, Kanou looked down at him for some time and then sighing again said with a kind smile, “Tell me if it hurts. I’ll stop right away.”
“Yes,” he nodded and Kanou smiled, narrowing his eyes, and slowly began to move his hips.
“……Huh……?”
Although he was prepared to feel pain, every time Kanou pulled his cock in and out, his soft insides filled with heat from the friction and impatient feelings increased.
“Ah……! ……Aahh……! ……”
Every time he felt Kanou’s cock inside him, he was seized by an unattainable feeling and cried out naturally. That feeling was a ‘pleasure’ that he had newly found and that ‘pleasure’ wrapped his body up in heat. Kyosuke also realized that he was beginning to grow hard, but the more he realized it, the more bewildered he felt.
“Yaa……! ……Ah!……AH!……Aahh……!” As Kanou picked up speed, Kyosuke’s voice grew higher. He realized that he was beginning to sound like a girl and refused to accept that fact, but his hot body shivered with joy from the pleasure he got doing it with Kanou. “No more……! Ahh……! ……No more……!”
Before he knew it, Kyosuke’s cock had become completely hard and so erect that pre-cum began to drip out while Kanou continued thrusting. It seemed that his already loudly beating heart now sounded like a fire alarm, and sweat broke out all over his body. Kanou probably realized that Kyosuke was having a hard time breathing from gasping so much, but he suddenly smiled, let go of one of Kyosuke’s legs, grabbed Kyosuke’s hard cock and drew it through his hand without stopping the rhythm of his hips.
“AHH!”
Kyosuke came hard, shooting out milky white fluid between their stomachs, with a cry so high that he wondered if that was really him who made such a noise.
“……!”
After he ejaculated his insides twitched violently. Perhaps because of that, he squeezed Kanou’s cock and Kanou also came inside him. Kanou let out a low sigh and stopped moving. Kyosuke felt the weight of the semen inside him and couldn’t help letting out a deep sigh. Of course it wasn’t out of disgust but out of happiness that they had come together.
“……Are you alright?” Kanou turned to Kyosuke, worriedly asking him as Kyosuke again let out a happy sigh.
“……I’m okay……It just…felt so good……” Kyosuke gasped out amidst unsettled breaths before Kanou smiled kindly at him and brought his lips closer to his.
“……I’m happy. I’m happy we came together.”
“Me too……”
If Kanou truly thought that, there was no greater happiness for Kyosuke than this. As Kyosuke gasped, overwhelmed that they felt the same about each other, Kanou pressed his lips to his while smiling kindly at him.
“I love you……”
“……Me too…….!”
He was happy.
He was so happy!
Feelings of happiness spilled out of Kyosuke’s chest, and he tightened his arms around Kanou’s back as much as he could. But all of a sudden, feelings of guilt rose up in Kyosuke’s heart. He felt guilty that Kanou and him were alive like this and feeling joy together. He wondered who was making him feel guilty and realized that it was his brother. His brother had provided Kanou information until it led him to lose his life. Perhaps he had done this because he had loved him? Kyosuke realized this, but it was already too late to suppress his own feelings for Kanou.
“……I’m sorry……” Kyosuke couldn’t stop himself from muttering that out, and Kanou widened his eyes in surprise.
“……Never……” Mind, Kyosuke was about to say, but tears began to spill out of his eyes before he could finish.
“……Kyosuke-kun……”
Startled by this, Kanou tried to call out Kyosuke’s name, but Kyosuke tightly wrapped his arms and legs around Kanou’s back and buried his face in his shoulder.
I’m sorry, big brother, but I love Kanou-san, too.
Kyosuke’s brother was smiling within his innermost thoughts. He realized that perhaps he was just picturing what was convenient for him. Nevertheless, he heard his brother’s phantom voice and at the same time, began to firmly believe that this truly was his brother’s wish.
“Live for my part.”
I will live. I will live long. I won’t give up the life that both big brother and Kanou gave to me in vain.
Watch over me, big brother.
In his heart, he begged his brother to do this and tightening his arms and legs around Kanou’s back, Kyosuke begged Kanou for a wish that he couldn’t put into words but could only show through his actions – he wanted Kanou to live together with him.
He couldn’t know for sure if this wish of his had reached Kanou without actually asking him, but as Kanou tightly embraced him back, Kyosuke believed that this was a sign of Kanou’s own wish, so as he returned Kanou’s embrace with an even tighter embrace of his own, in his mind he begged the phantom of his brother to be at peace now too.
