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It appeared that he had fallen asleep. The next time Kyosuke woke up he was still in that same hospital bed.
“We’ve arrested the Okawa leader.”
Even without opening his eyes he knew to whom that all too familiar voice belonged to. It was Sahashi.
“I’m terribly sorry that I was of no help to you even in the end.”
The voice he heard apologizing definitely belonged to Kanou. Not understanding what he was apologizing for, Kyosuke just woke up and was half conscious as he listened to their conversation.
“What’re you talking about? You’ve been providing us with plenty of information this whole time. I’m sure you would’ve arrested the leader before long.”
“It doesn’t matter now. I still didn’t do it,” Kanou laughed, brushing aside Sahashi’s passionate decleration.
“Say,” Sahashi said, sounding worried, and Kanou replied, “What?”
“You didn’t expect that the five years you’ve spent undercover would fall to ruin just like that, did you?”
“That’s right,” Kanou said thoughtfully and didn’t say anything for some time.
The five years fell to ruin? What was he talking about? Kyosuke wondered dreamily as Sahashi’s words replayed in his head.
“With the information he had gathered, he had devised a plan to capture the Okawa leader.”
Why had he been using the past tense? He pondered.
Perhaps…. perhaps Kanou had given himself away for his – Kyosuke’s – sake? Maybe Kanou had no choice but to seek help from the police in order to save him after he had had gotten himself foolishly caught? Sahashi had said that if they were to arrest the Okawa leader they would have to do it with a flagrante delicto. The Okawa leader had not been there at the place where he, Kyosuke, had been taken to when he was kidnapped. That’s why the Okawa leader had not been arrested immediately. So that means Kanou had to give himself away for Kyosuke’s sake even though he had been hiding his true identity for five years in order to arrest the Okawa leader! As soon as he realized that, Kyousuke became fully awake and tried to get up, thinking that he must apologize at once.
“But I’d be lying if I said I completely didn’t expect it. You see, when I thought about what was most important to me, I chose it without any hesitations,” Kyosuke heard Kanou’s soft voice.
“So Kyosuke-kun’s life was more important?”
“Of course,” Kanou replied immediately when Sahashi had asked that to make sure. “I wanted to protect Kyosuke-kun. I thought that if giving up my cover could protect him, I could forgive myself for the life that was lost.”
“You feel guilty about that, don’t you? For robbing Kyosuke-kun of his brother’s life.” Hearing Sahashi’s question, Kyosuke held his breathe so that they wouldn’t realize he was awake because he was interested to hear Kanou’s answer too.
“……Of course I do. However, that’s not all.”
“Say,” with that, Sahashi asked Kanou another question.
“What?”
“Kyosuke-kun’s brother….Miyama Syoichi loved you, didn’t he?”
Hearing Sahashi’s question, Kyosuke inadvertently almost said, ‘I knew it!’ He then remembered when he had noticed his older brother suddenly becoming very cheerful on one occasion. His older brother had come home late so they didn’t talk long, but at that time, he had certainly been in a good mood. Kyosuke had asked his brother if something good had happened and his brother laughed and said it was nothing, but he still had seemed so terribly happy.
“Even someone like me can be useful to society…When I think that, I can’t help but feel happy.”
When Kyosuke remembered his big brother looking truly happy, his chest filled with an emotion he couldn’t explain.
“I don’t know……but,” Kanou replied. “I feel awful when I think that he died because he had feelings for me and did reckless things…” Kanou softly stated that, and Kyosuke was about to say ‘You’re wrong’, but instead, Sahashi said:
“I think that Syoichi-kun was certainly trying to make himself useful to you…but I expect that he was working with you not simply because he had feelings for you. I think it was because he wanted to help erase these social evils, and I think it would be rude to Syoichi-kun if we thought otherwise.”
“……You’re right. That must have been it,” Kanou replied immediately, and Sahashi smiled at him.
“After many twists and turns, the Okawa leader was finally arrested. I’m really glad your five years of hard work didn’t go in vain.”
“Well, actually it was close to going in vain,” Kanou answered Sahashi also with a smile.
“Until now, I’ve never been so grateful for how much experience you have! It must have ruined your social standing to have you go along with my selfishness.”
“Ahaha! Yeah, I never thought that I’d be so glad to have the rank of a superintendent! Whether or not to throw away the long, five years of undercover investigation is not a decision you can make so easily,” Sahashi laughed.
“Yeah, you’re right about that,” Kanou smiled at Sahashi.
“It gives me goosebumps just thinking that the criminal who blew up Syoichi-kun’s and Kyosuke-kun’s apartment was finally arrested. I don’t think I should say this, being a police officer and all, but I want to believe that Syoichi-kun’s spirit led us to him.”
“He testified that he had acted upon the leader’s orders.”
Laughter vanished from their voices and the atmosphere became solemn.
“Well, since that happened I decided to let your selfishness slide. But make sure you’re not too grateful to me,” Sahashi broke that atmosphere, saying that with a laugh.
Kanou also smiled back at him.
“Don’t worry, I won’t be.”
“That’s good then. I’d be uncomfortable if you suddenly cried on me and thanked me profusely.”
“Who’s gonna cry on you?”
After joking around, Sahashi began to talk to Kanou in a heartfelt way.
“Having a grudge encouraged him to live…However, I was shocked to hear that you told Kyosuke-kun you were the one who killed his brother. Why didn’t you tell me you had done this?”
“I’m sorry,” Kanou honestly apologized, but Sahashi kept asking.
“When you sacrificed your own money to look after Kyosuke did you do that to try to atone for letting Syoichi-kun die?”
Kyosuke himself wanted to hear the answer to that question too. That’s why he continued pretending to be asleep and waited for Kanou’s answer. He thought the answer was probably going to be yes, but to actually hear that come out of Kanou’s mouth seemed to him would be slightly cruel. As Kyosuke braced himself and waited for Kanou to speak, he heard Kanou say in a sincere tone of voice:
“Of course I was trying to atone for that, but…if that was the only reason, I wouldn’t have saved him and risked putting the five years worth of undercover investigation to vain.”
“So you wanted to protect Kyosuke-kun no matter what, huh?” Sahashi laughed and lightly nudged Kanou.
“Yeah.”
Tears fell from Kyosuke’s eyes when he heard Kanou agree, sounding so embarrassed. If he started to sob they would realize he was awake. Trying to control himself from crying, Kyosuke heard Sahashi’s cheerful voice.
“So what will you do now? It’ll be hard for you to let him go to Kansai, won’t it?”
“That’s right,” Kanou forced a smile and Kyosuke felt that he was gazing down at him.
“I think we’ll decide what to do after I talk to him. If he says he wants to become a doctor then I want to help him become a doctor, but if he says he wants to take another route in life, I will support him on that too.”
“You’re too sweet.”
“I guess,” Kanou followed after Sahashi’s teasing.
But Kyosuke’s dream of becoming a doctor was a thing of the past now. He didn’t wish to pursue that anymore. Right now, the only wish that filled his heart was to be by Kanou’s side. As soon as they were alone together, he would tell him this. Thinking that, Kyosuke listened to the two friends talk as hot tears continued to stream down his cheeks.