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Kodoku na Inutachi (Light Novel) - Epilogue
Epilogue
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For a long time, I had thought that maybe I should leave a note with my last will.
The note would be addressed to Kyosuke, my beloved little brother.
After our parents died, I dropped out of university because of the hardships of life. However, I couldn’t let my little brother know this. My little brother was too young to face such a terrible reality. If you persevere, you will get by. I wanted to raise my brother by persevering. I thought that was the only thing I needed, but somehow before I knew it I had strayed down the wrong path. I have regrets. If only I could somehow return to the right track – I thought about that a lot. But no matter how much you regret something, you cannot turn back time – that is another thing I realized with the years.
I continued to live if only for my little brother’s sake. He was the only person I had that was worth living for. Never did I imagine that there’d be something else worth living for. But I knew that if I carried out this newfound purpose for my life, I would probably die without seeing my little brother grow up.
That’s why I thought I should write a note with my last will. My life was not something to be proud of. Even my little brother, if he were to find out the kinds of things I’ve done, would probably come to despise me after the initial shock was done. It hurts knowing that the person you love might come to despise you. But I had done what I’ve done, so I had made up my mind that I should come to terms with it, for I had no other choice, and let my little brother know about it.
But it’s not like I thought I would try to make myself useful to society just because I didn’t want to be despised for my actions. Well, perhaps I did think that.
I just had one thing to say:
Big brother went down the wrong path, but he wants you to live righteously. Big brother went down the wrong path, but he wants you to know that he continues to regret it.
That’s all.
After I wrote my last will, I thought that I would leave it with that person – the person who had taught me for the first time that you can love someone outside your family. If it were him, then he would surely protect my little brother even after I died. If it were him, who had a soul more noble than anyone else and who was kinder than anyone else, then…
I was grateful to God for being able to meet him. I never belonged to a particular religion, but I think this blessing had surely been God’s intention.
