Published at 25th of August 2019 8:39 pm

Chapter 41: 7 – The Eternity of Kaliarya Ignis

This chapter is updated by NovelFree.ml

Do you remember the moment you were born? Naturally, I don’t. But if it’s the day I died, then I remember it.

*

I lived in a world where magic and sorcery existed. But it wasn’t like everyone had magical power. It was probably some sort of talent. It was the same for those who were good at drawing, there are those are fast runners and those who are skilled with their hands. On the contrary, there are also a quite few people who are unsuitable for these kinds of activities. In other words, there are naturally people who possess limited magical powers, or people who lack aptitude in the art of sorcery. And so, being unqualified to wield magic wasn’t viewed as a problem, it wasn’t a serious matter. It was merely better to have magic power. That was all. I was living in such a mysterious world.

Also in that world, you are able to chose a profession based on the quantity of magical power you possessed. Just like how a strong man would become a farmer. Or an intelligent person would become a scholar or a teacher. Or again, how someone skillful at drawing would become an artist. For a person holding a large amount of magical power too, appropriate occupations existed, and we could choose freely. It wasn’t any different than exploiting one’s strong suit to one's advantage and changing it into a career.

My father was also one of those talented people, enlisting in a special job which requires an enormous amount of magical power... … he was a so-called magician. As a very able magician, he was a person whose name became well known. Yes, that was my father. Maybe his luck was great because it seemed he was born with this vast magical power and he was blessed with the ability to handle it. He would receive requests from our country, and it seemed it wasn’t rare for a decree to come directly from the king. He wasn’t in the army, but because his forte was magical attacks, I heard he received a special treatment similar to a soldier. If we were to be invaded by a foreign nation, he would use his magic to annihilate the opposing force. Or he could take part in a war against other countries. … … I didn’t know the details, but it seemed such a situation happened. Also, my father’s name was widely known in the field of study on sorcery. Anyway, I remembered he was a person overflowing with wisdom.

I was born as the first child of this man. My mother was an extremely ordinary woman who possessed magical powers to some extent. But, she was from a valuable lineage. She was a “noble.” Because father was a magician appointed by the king, it didn’t feel out of place for him to be married to my aristocratic mother. The point is, I think mother may have been one of the rewards granted to father. He distinguished himself as a magician and greatly contributed to our country, but he didn’t have any peerage. In short, to supplement him with what he was lacking, mother was… or I should say, “mother’s lineage” was allotted to him. Should it be called a political marriage or a mere contract marriage, I wasn’t sure myself. However, my parents seemed to be doing fine despite this. Unfortunately, mother had passed away before I could speak so I had no way of confirming whether it was truly a political or contract marriage. However, traces of her could be found scattered around the estate, where I was born and raised, and seem to have proved otherwise.

Indeed, the curtain hanged by the large bay window had large flower patterns commonly prefer by women. I remembered well this awfully showy thing my boorish father had chosen. I didn’t confirm it directly with father, but I’m sure it was mother’s preference. It was especially the case for a certain watch. That watch had a carving inside the see-through mechanism and was different from the kind of object my father liked. My father whose principle was to not take with him items he didn’t like, I remember having seen him yearn for that watch. That’s why I believed he must also have treasured mother.

In fact, this supposition of mine was right.

There was just one thing I misunderstood; the assumption that because father loved mother, he would love his son too. There was no relevance, no cause-and-relationship there. But because of my foolishness, I didn’t know that.

… … It was truly abrupt and unexpected. There were no signs, no lead up to it.

No, that’s not right. I just didn’t notice because I was too young. When I suddenly looked up, the cloudless blue sky split in two, earth and sand fell from that crack. Such an incident occurred.

If I recall right, it was the year I became 5 years old. I was visiting the headquarters of the magic division with father. Maybe it was a holiday, but the building that should ordinarily be bustling with people was deserted. The silence resounded in my ears as a buzzing sound, and the stillness made it hard for me to even breath. I looked around me meaninglessly. The building was so large I didn’t even know where I was exactly. For no specific reason, I started to feel melancholic. But my father who had been granted from the king the imposing position of being the “leader of the magicians” walked with an air of composure, no paying any particular attention to the situation. Perhaps, holidays were always like this. While thinking about that, I raised my head and saw father’s profile, noticing he seemed quite cheerful. This hard-to-please face of him was wearing a thin smile.

Even though he would never do that usually, father grasped my hand. The palm of his hand was rough. When I followed this sensation with my fingers, he explained it was the wound he received while experimenting on sorcery. I felt father was kinder than usual. Even though it wasn’t a special day, something was different. That’s probably why. Why I vividly remember that day. The long corridor father led me through. The cloudless blue sky I could see from the window. The sound of our footsteps on the ashen floor. The scenery reflected in my eyes, the sound that echoed in my ears, the temperature of the air on my skin. They were all insignificant, yet each and every single one of them was etched in my mind. The moment the sun stood exactly above me, I squinted my eyes. Everything seemed so dazzling.

Nothing felt ominous at all, there was no sense of foreboding. On the contrary, the atmosphere that day was very calm. Maybe that’s sort of feeling was what was called the calm before the storm. And in a few minutes…… no, maybe it was even a few seconds, the world changed.

“I wished my researched had bore fruit before that died, but well, I couldn’t quite do it.”

Father who was walking just a bit in front of me said that. While tilting my head in wonder I looked at his profile and noticed his face was a bit stiffer than earlier. I was convinced his whisper whose meaning I didn’t get was a monologue. Or that he was about to talk of something. Holding my breath, I kept quiet for a while, but the only sound echoing around us was of our footsteps. “Father?” I boldly tried to call him, but he didn’t answer. Even when I pulled his sleeves, as expected he didn’t react.

… … Even though I was calling him, why won’t he notice?

I gazed at father’s face, bending my head so much that my neck hurt. But I wasn’t reflected in his eyes. His black eyes which were the same as mine were looking forward. My tall father was a lot taller than the average. This prominent figure of his was always at the center of attention. It was the same even when he was walking around town, or when he was called to take part to some kind of party. It was rumored that father was able to gain fame as a magician thanks to his conspicuous appearance. But the people working with him probably knew it was only a rumor. If you were to witness father’s sorcery, you couldn’t say that even as a joke. The reason such a rumor was still running around was because only a few individuals could interact with father. Even the young me knew that if one wasn’t a quite excellent magician, it was impossible to even catch a glimpse of father’s face. That’s why there were many people who speculated on father’s success. I knew most of these irresponsible remarks were made out of jealousy. In the first place, father didn’t let this animosity stop him nor did he care about it.

“… Father, what are you doing?”

Father was calmly walking ahead of me, looking quite imposing as he moved forward with large strides due to his tall legs. Although I was being pulled by the hand, it felt like I was left behind. Whether he heard my voice or not, the same smile stayed printed on his lips and he didn’t say anything. I thought he was in a strange mood. Something was strange, I couldn’t explain specificity what, but if I must say something, then the air touching my skin was different from usual. Was I trembling because of the chill? Or was it the harbinger of something? Anyway, I was scared.

“I’m doing something great.”

Eventually, father briefly told me that when we stood in front of a room. These black eyes of him were lit with a dark light. I saw it clearly. At once I tried to run away but father strongly grasped my arm and vigorously opened the door before tossing my small body inside the room. The interior was dim as the dark colored curtains were pulled, so I didn’t know what was inside. But, from the scent of mold I smelled, I realized it might usually be used as a storage room or something like this. I was able to properly register my surrounding until that point. Then, within the time it took to blink once or twice, it was at that moment I heard the sound of the door closing behind me. I turned around but father’s figure was nowhere to be seen, I realized I had been locked in the room all alone. The instant I took a step to turn around… On the other side of the door, spells were being chanted.

“… Father! Father!!”

Fear crept up from my feet. Looking closely, I could see in this room which didn’t even contained a desk that symbols and letters were crammed without a gap between them. On the floor, on the walls, on the ceiling too. Characters filled this emptied room that was like a cave. And strange symbols were carved as if leaving even one blank space wasn’t allowed. Even though the light wasn’t lit up, these characters seemed to stand out from the darkness.

…… It was a magic square.

I didn’t know what the hell father was researching into, confined in his laboratory. I was never told what it was. I thought mother too hadn’t known. But, I certainly heard father said he wished he had completed his research before “that” died. Regret seemed to be oozing from his words, the emotion was similar to a deep affection that couldn’t be hidden. If, “that” referred to mother then… it meant it couldn’t be done by the time mother was still alive.

“Father! Please let me out! Father!”

In my life until now, I had never been confronted to an incident where I had to raise my voice. Because I was raised in what I would call a blessed environment if I had to described it,

since my childhood I never once threw a tantrum even if there was something I didn’t like. That was because there were people who would deal with it before I burst into tears. These people were my father, the servants, or even acquaintances from our neighborhood. There was no need to coax them for sweets and toys, even if I kept quiet someone would give them to me. I didn’t even need to express myself. There was no reason to make a ruckus.

That’s why. I couldn’t keep up with this situation.

Father’s voice that I could hear from outside the door continued without any interruption. No matter how long I called for him, my voice didn’t reach him. Or maybe, he heard me but ignored it. I called his name again and again. But, it was meaningless.

A sudden gust of wind burst out in my back. Although the window was supposed to be closed, a strong wind blew from there. My heart jumped in fright when it abruptly felt like an invisible hand had grasped my ankle. Due to these too sudden incidents, I let out a little scream. I tripped and fell down. My breathing stopped when I felt something weighting on my back. I was crucified on the floor, like a frog that was being crushed. When I tried to raise my head, something pinned me down at several interval. I wondered if this gradually increasing pressure wouldn’t smash my limbs, tearing me into pieces.

While I was groaning and shaking from fear, the strong wind suddenly lost its vigor.

Haa, haa, I inhaled short breaths while looking around me, continuing to lie down on the floor, unable to move around. “f-father…” the voice leaking out from my lips sounded like a cry. I could no longer hear father’s voice outside the door. Did he abandon me? Was I left behind? Thinking so, I desperately moved my arms. But, it didn’t go well as I only managed to make my fingertips twitch. “Father…….!” Save me, but the words stayed in my throat and disappeared without being voiced. It was because I felt I had slightly heard father’s voice. So I desperately stretched my ears. At that time. … … the magic square engraved in the room began to shine.

The magic I knew nothing about has begun to activate. The fear I felt was no longer a mere instinct. I frantically averted my face from it. But, I couldn’t do anything about my body which refused to move. Pain run across my whole body, as if pierced by a myriad of needles. I surely had screamed, but I couldn’t hear my own voice. The light was strong enough to burn my eyes and an intense pain assailed me. I didn’t know what father had done, but I understood clearly it wasn’t anything good. The thoughts, “it’s scary”, “save me”, “father” were the only things filling my head. In the end it become the lamentation, “someone, save me.” But it may have only been for a short instant. In the end, I lost consciousness like this. Was my body unable to endure the fierce pain, or was I mentally driven into a corner? In any case, it was a good thing that I had fainted. If I had continued to keep my consciousness, I might have really broken.

Even though I asked for help so much, father didn’t even come to see me.

… …. There was one door in front of me.

Even though he was beyond that one simple door, father continued to recite his spell while listening to the pleading voice of his son. This fact really hit me hard and left me helpless.

“Someone”

As my vision was stained by darkness, the last thing I heard was my own voice. When I came to my sense, I had return to the estate. I didn’t know how. I was laying on my bed and nothing was different from usual inside my room. Maybe I had seen a dream? I harbored the hope I hadn’t taken a single step out of this room in the first place. However, the physical weariness left in my whole body and the still present impression that something was pressing my back told me it was real. I moved my upper body, trying to get up, but I couldn’t put any strength in my arms. When I somehow twisted my body… … something felt out of place on my arms. I frantically moved my head to take a peek at the things that hadn’t existed until now. Even on both my legs, peeking out from my nightwear, strange patterns looking like letters were engraved.

It felt like my breathing stopped, or also like I kept heaving out small exhalations again and again. It was a wonder that I didn’t scream. My whole body was covered in sweat, it felt like I had an incurable disease. As if I had just been sentenced to death. Although I understood something was happening, I was at my wit’s end, I could only agonize over it. I thought to call father. Such a time was precisely when one ought to rely on their parents, calling for them was instinctive. But, when I opened my mouth, just I was beginning to make a noise my throat constricted. I had certainly start to say “fa” but the rest wasn’t voice out. Because I painfully understood that even if I called him for help, it would be useless.

“Someone”

The voice I heard inside the darkness sounded like an unreliable reproduction of my own voice. It surely wouldn’t reach anyone’s ears. Like that time I was trapped inside that small room, I had no one to call for help, there wasn’t even one unreliable existence to cling to. Even though I knew no one was here. Even though I knew no one would hear me if I didn’t raise my voice more. But I could only whisper softly,

“Someone, save me.”

I couldn’t be helped by father even though he originally was supposed to be my unconditional ally. That’s why, no matter who, I wanted someone to extend their hand for me. But there was no one at my side. In the end, it wasn’t only after a few hours that the servants came to my room. Until that moment, I had been staring at the ceiling, unable to move my body. Do you know how scary that was? Would anyone understand? Maybe, I would spend my whole life like this, laying unmoving on the bed. This thought brought me to a bottomless terror. My body which should be unable to move shivered and my teeth clattered.

And yet, I was left alone like this for who knew how many hours.

“It’s fine. You should be able to get up after a few days.”

When I could barely move my fingers, a doctor called by my father came examining me. This man who looked like he had barely approached his twenties, was brimming with pride for being employed as father’s assistant. He smiled, telling me he was a doctor very familiar with sorcery. He probably said that to reassure me as I was making an uneasy face. But his words didn’t bring me the slightest relief. Despite understanding it was useless, I was set on waiting for father to come. I was thinking about why did he not come see me when he hadn’t spared the trouble of summoning a doctor. As if he had seen through me, the young doctor continued to speak.

Right now, your father is dealing with an important matter, he cannot come check on you.

His words saying my father won’t come echoed inside my ears. Should I be disappointed? The man who was father’s assistant, who called himself a doctor, should I curse him? Or should I cry and shout “why did you do such a thing” despite the fact the person himself wasn’t here? …… But I couldn’t choose what I ought to do. I wondered what that complete stranger of a doctor thought of me who could only whisper in a daze “Is that so.”

Anyway, ultimately, I would never see father again. He lost his life in another country without seeing me even once. Like that doctor had diagnosed, I slowly became able to move my body, and the patterns that had emerged on my skin became fainter. Then, the day they completely disappeared and I could finally slip out of my bed… The soldier that came to our house indifferently informed us of father’s death.

Until the very end, father never gave me the slightest excuse.

If he at least had left me a word saying, “I’m sorry for making you suffer like this,” I would have surely forgiven him. I wouldn’t even have questioned his motive for doing this. Because to me, he was my one and only blood relative, my “father.” With that alone, I would have been able to forgive the person who inflicted such a pain on me. After all, I definitively loved my father.

But he did not explain anything.

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