Published at 6th of April 2026 7:26 am

Chapter 143: Tea

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I dont know what youre referring to, I state calmly, blinking to sell the genuine surprise.

Dont you? Erika scoffs, face red and arms on hips, looking down on me by a few inches. Then how about this? Were an organization dedicated to the development of peaceful uses of magic. I thought you understood that. Yet you go and receive a dagger a weapon from the empress in front of half the nobles in the city!

Ah, that wait, why that? I can hardly control whether the empress wants to give me a gift which I had no foreknowledge of.

It doesnt matter! she shouts. Its how it looks for you to be the sort of person that the empress thought could use a weapon like that. Well be a laughing stock. Theyll say, Oh, they say theyre working for peaceful magic, but they have that killer with them.

I narrow my eyes in confusion and look around for help. Ellen gives me an apologetic smile, Ligryn shrugs in a way that says shes not getting into this and whats his name, the commoner. Anyways, the commoner looks away as if he wants to shrink into nothingness. I suppose Ellen might help soothe things later, but for now its up to me. How do I pave the way for her?

Do I even want to, though? Why put effort into assuaging an unreasonable outrage?

What are you talking about? I ask, raising my voice, causing the commoner to flinch, though the target doesnt back down. As you said, the goal of this club is to develop peaceful uses of magic, which is different from trying to make magic only be used peacefully. One is useful, the other is unattainable. No oath of ideological purity was required for entry I recall you being too desperate for members. The tests I took in the exam and how I did on them is a matter of public record. If you only wanted the pure, you should have looked them up.

Why would I need to do that? Why would anyone join a peace club if they werent going to live a peaceful life!?

Youre retroactively overgeneralizing again! I shout back. I joined because I found the stated goals interesting. Because you convinced me your ideas had potential. Or rather, I thought the spread might weaken the empire. But I did also think they might have the benefits that they claimed. I joined to give you a chance to fully convince me, but if I knew you expected me to be already decided, then I never would have.

Her face reddens more, and her eyebrow quivers. Oh, excuse me then, she says sarcastically, I thought that you joining meant that you were willing to work towards our ideas. I didnt realize it was you being magnanimous. I mean, its not like youre mag anything.

Was that a slight on my height? Shes like two inches taller than me! I was working towards your goals. Thats my point! You dont need purity of intent to work together. I had an entire presentation prepared for you. I hoped it would please your absurd expectations of me, but I see thats never going to happen. So Goodbye!

I slam the door on the way out and storm across campus until I find a shady spot for me to breathe. Its a pity, really. I did work hard on the report. I mean, I would have worked on it anyways, since I had other uses for it, but not as hard.

Where am I, anyways? I wasnt paying attention as I went Theres a tree over there that looks nice. A good branch arrangement to repose in. I was planning on going to the low section after the club, but I might as well rest a little beforehand. Clear my mind of Erikas strangeness.

Resting among the branches, my enchanted clothes cushioning the hard branches in precisely the way thats most comfortable while still maintaining the sense of whimsy, I suppose, of the mode of repose; the light flitting through the branches swaying in the gentle wind; and my mind tired by a stressful week, I quickly fall asleep.

Footsteps, coming up the hill. Soft in the grass, the sound heard more by the scraping against the green blades than any clumsy thumping sound. I open my eyes and feel refreshed without grogginess. Ive slept too deeply recently, letting the comfort of a nobles bed lull me into a state of near complete oblivion. I should sleep in trees more often, just so I keep the feel of it.

My eyes having adjusted to the light, I look down and nearly fall upon seeing Ser Terry coming, eyes locked on me with amusement.

Hey, I say lamely, strangely aware of how dishevelled I must look, my hand absentmindedly plucking a leaf from my hair.

Hey, he says back, much more smoothly. Saw you while passing. Youre not usually here this time of day, so I thought Id come and chat.

Ah, yeah, I say, scratching my head with odd embarrassment. I guess youre coming from a club or something?

Yeah, or something. What about you? I thought you had one around this time.

Oh, that, I say, glancing away in embarrassment, then shrug in a sense of why not tell him? I guess I kinda got kicked out of it.

What!? Why?! He exclaims, leaping up into the tree in a graceful arc that lands on the peak, hardly disturbing the branch at all with a perfect negation of momentum by gravity.

Oh, you know, heh, I guess Im just inherently not peaceful enough for a peace club.

He looks immediately crestfallen, with an intensity whose cause I cannot place. Oh, thats too bad. I thought itd be good for you.

I shrug. Yeah, whatever. I mean, its not like they said I had to be fully dedicated to their concepts with utter ideological purity when I joined. The chair was just being paranoid, imagining embarrassment because the Empress gave me something that could be used as a weapon. I mean, how does she expect to get anywhere if she demands a complete eschewing of even the appearance of a capacity of violence?

Oh, Ser Terry says with surprise. I kinda assumed that was a prerequisite when you told me about it, actually.

What? Why would you think that? Im certain we described it as trying to develop non-combat magic more, not demanding that it never be used for combat again.

Yeah, but wasnt there something about stopping the wars of conquest or something? That definitely sounds like something that would have a problem with you pursuing a path of fighting after you joined.

I look at him with utter bafflement. What do you mean? The club was clearly described in terms of benefit analysis, not moral condemnation. Promoting one category doesnt necessarily mean diminishing another.

Maybe, he says with an apologetic shrug, but its why I didnt join. I would have felt like a hypocrite because I know the path Im on.

Wait? Thats why you ran away? Because you were afraid you wouldnt fit in? I laugh, scarcely believing my ears at his absurdity.

Well, yes, I suppose you could put it that way if he says bashfully, a blush beginning to form on his cheeks.

You know Ligryn is in it, dont you? I dont think shes dedicated to a peaceful life. Though you would know more than I.

She is? Wait, what was that supposed to it doesnt matter, she can do what she wants Did she say why she joined?

No, shes just being a weird, silent presence that doesnt participate. Though, now that I think about it, shes probably there for similar reasons to me: Gauging the merits of their ideas and promoting them if she finds them lacking. It doesnt matter. What does is that, if a page who I know for certain is taking at least one combat class is allowed in, then obviously their standards of pacifism cant be that high.

Well, I mean, that doesnt mean as much as I think you think. Combat training has long been seen as one of the best ways to develop as a knight. So even if someone intends to never fight, they might still train just as a form of exercise.

Why are you taking their side! I snap, shouting in frustration and hurt? Yes, hurt. I wanted him to support me, notcritique my positions about a situation he wasnt even part of. I mean, I know he knows she's not dedicated to peace. I've seen her fight alongside him.

Im not taking anyones side, he says in a voice thats attempting to be calming. I guess I was just surprised when I heard you were in the club. But I thought it would be good for you. That it meant you were interested in changing

Oh! I interrupt, face fully red now. So, you werent taking their side. You were just disappointed that I didnt want to become someone other than who I am. Thats so much better!

No, thats not what I mean he stammers as he tries to back away defensively from me, but, as were still in a tree, he fumbles slightly instead as his back hits the trunk. He slips slightly off the branch hes standing on, but quickly rights himself. But before he can start again, hes interrupted by a bustling in a nearby hedgerow, which causes us both to snap our attention to Ellen clumsily forcing herself through a pair of large bushes.

Ah, there you are, she says, her eyes going from a crystal pendulum similar to my own up to my tree. Im a little embarrassed that someone was able to divine my location until I remember that this is one of the rare occasions in which that is not catastrophic and that I took no measures to counter it. Oh, and um, Ser Presley? She says as if its a question, but I cant tell if its because she forgot his name, wanted to seem to have done so, or if the questioning tone is more about bafflement at his presence.

Yes, though please just call me Terry. I dont think Ive grown to fit the title yet. Ser Terrys smile is annoyingly warm and charming as he peers down on her. Ellen, right?

Yes. I apologize for interrupting. I was seeking our mutual friend here to try to help in a matter, but I can find him later if you were in the middle of something.

Its fine, I say, hopping down from my branch and landing lightly in front of her. She winces at the leap, which is silly of her. Shes seen me jump from far greater heights. I wouldnt even need my magic gear to make the landing safely.

Odd, I usually have some warm feeling when she shows that concern, but right now I just find it annoying.

Ser Terry and I were talking about the issue in question Im about to say she can speak in front of him, but think better of it. Besides, I was just leaving.

Malichi! Ser Terry shouts down from the tree, pleadingly. Its not like that. I wasnt taking sides, I was just trying to understand.

I regard him wearily, tapping my fingers against my legs as I feel lost. It certainly didnt seem like he was seeking understanding, but at the worst, he does seem repentant for his first instinct. Sigh. Fine. You want to understand? Then I suppose she can help you with that. I gesture to Ellen. I do not mind him hearing anything you may have to say about me leaving the club.

You dont have to leave the club, she says, pityingly, I can convince her she was being unreasonable. Shes just been under stress. Somebody published a response to one of her papers, ridiculing it, and people are piling on. So, shes vigilant for perceived vulnerabilities right now.

I stare at her, then sigh while rubbing the bridge of my nose. You know, for as much as shes a pacifist, she doesnt shy away from demanding her way. Arent you tired of always having to apologize or arbitrate for her?

She looks surprised, then turns away and speaks softly. What else can I do? Shes been my only friend for a long time now Maybe I just enjoy being around someone who will distract others from me.

Feeling uneasy at the displayed vulnerability, I feel myself hardening and loathe myself for doing so even as I continue. Shes not my enemy, and yet So, what do you think then? Is she right? Does the club implicitly demand a total agreement of thought, and I was just too stupid to realize that theres no room for moderates and undecideds?

She flinches from my intensity, and I have to force down a blush. I dont know.

Meaning that you assumed it did, but reconsidered due to my point about needing members Do you even want me there, or is this just your perpetual instinct to ameliorate everything?

I, I mean

Whatever, I snap, head whipping away to stare at the lovely green grass. Some roiling emotion at her hesitation to grant affirmation. If Erika wants me in the club, she can come apologize and ask me back herself. Until then, you can just do whatever you want, but leave me be! Both of you!

I run away, barely hearing and not heading Ser Terry calling after me, whelmed by the ocean in my chest and fire in my face. I leap over the hedge, then dash around a corner to slam my back against a wall, feeling short of breath despite the briefness of the physical action.

Sorry about him, I guess hes been a bit stressed lately, Ser Terry who likely is unaware of my boots sound-dampening side effect and just how enhanced my hearing is says with an apologetic tone. I can hear him scratching the back of his head from here. How can he not hear my heartbeat?

Ellen, just laughs.

Im sorry? Is something? Ser Terry asks, hesitantly.

You dont see No, I suppose you dont. Ellen says with an inward bitterness. Congratulations though, youre the me of your pair Heh, your Its fine, really. My friend is partly to blame. But you know, if youre really feeling bad about it, why dont you buy me some frozen cream? She laughs in a way that conveys shes being deliberately absurd.

Ser Terry laughs in a way that feels in on the joke. I dont feel that bad about it.

Heh Tea then?

Yeah, I think Id like to.

They make an opposite exit to mine, leaving me feeling even worse, lonely in a way more intense than when Im alone, and very much regretting that I stayed behind to listen.

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