Published at 26th of March 2019 12:07 am

Volume 1, Part 8

27,755th time

Once Maria mentioned it, I also realized that Mogi-san wasn't wearing any makeup. As a guy, I'm obviously clueless when it comes to makeup—so it was a lot easier for Maria to pick up on that change.

But Mogi-san still owns a makeup pouch.

Why is that?

This is Maria's line of reasoning:

—She got tired of using it.

I can't rely on my faded memories, but I suppose Mogi-san originally cared a lot about her appearance. However, she stopped bothering to apply makeup since there was no reason to do so anymore in the Rejecting Classroom. She'd left the pouch untouched in her bag since March 1st—before the Rejecting Classroom began.

Mogi-san grew tired of taking her makeup out of her bag and applying it.

That would only happen to someone who remembers over 20,000 loops.

And that person can only be—the owner.

Thus, the girl I love, the girl who loves me, Kasumi Mogi, must be—the owner.

"There's something I have to tell you, Kazu-kun."

That's what Kokone said when she called me during the previous iteration, the 27,754th loop. She told me:

"Kasumi loves you!"

Kokone knew of Mogi-san's love for me. I'm sure that Mogi-san talked with her about it since they were good friends until yesterday.

Maria and I wanted to trap Mogi-san.

But if we were the ones doing it, she would naturally be wary. If possible, we wanted to avoid giving Mogi-san any chance to prepare herself, as she has already defeated Maria so many times.

Instead, we decided to use Kokone as a proxy. We concluded that she could lure Mogi-san into our trap, if she made Mogi-san believe that I planned to confess to her.

Our plan ended up—killing Kokone.

I recall Mogi-san's words.

"...so, will you go out with me?"

How many times did she confess to me? How long has she been in love with me? If our love was mutual, then why—

"Please wait until tomorrow."

Why did she say that?

Mogi-san seems to be unaware of the blood that covers her clothes and body. She is expressionless.

—like always.

Has she always been so expressionless? No, from within my fragmented memories, I can pull up an image of Mogi-san smiling brightly. But the smiling Mogi-san doesn't seem real to me at all. My mental image of Mogi-san is that of an expressionless and reticent girl.

But what if that seemingly fake, brightly smiling Mogi-san, is actually the original?

What happened to the girl called Kasumi Mogi?

"She got overwhelmed," Maria grumbles, as if answering my silent question. "She got completely absorbed by this endless recurrence," she declares, eyes scornfully focused on Mogi-san.

This idea has already occurred to me: The human psyche can't possibly endure such a vast number of recurrences.

But Mogi-san has experienced the same day 27,755 times.

And after experiencing it so many times, Mogi-san is now stained in blood.

"...It's your fault, Kazu-kun, " she says, gazing at me. "This happened because you cornered me!"

"...Mogi-san, what have I done?"

"'Mogi-san'." Mogi-san repeats her name and twists her lips. "I told you. I definitely told you. I told you hundreds of times, didn't I?"

"W-What are you talking about...?"

"I told you to call me 'Kasumi', didn't I...?!"

...I didn't know. I didn't remember this at all...

"I said that hundreds of times and you agreed to do it hundreds of times, didn't you? So, why? Why do you always forget about it right afterwards?"

"It can't be...helped..."

"Can't be helped?! Tell me, why can't it be helped?!" Mogi-san shouts hysterically. All the while, her face remains almost expressionless.

Most likely, she has forgotten how to change her expression over the course of these thousands of recurrences because she no longer has any reason to do so. She can't properly laugh, cry or get angry anymore.

"Kazuki, don't listen to her."

Mogi-san releases me from her gaze and scowls at Maria.

"Don't address Kazu-kun with such familiarity!"

"I can call him whatever I like."

"You can't! ...Why does Kazu-kun remember you, but not me...?"

"Mogi, you designed things to work this way, because it makes it easier to do the same thing over and over again."

"Shut up! I didn't mean to do that!"

Come to think of it, during the 27,754th loop, Mogi-san looked frightened when she saw that I remembered Maria.

At the time, I was sure that Mogi-san was just terrified by my strange behavior. But now that I know she's the owner, my point of view has changed: actually, she let her built-up discontent burst out because I remembered Maria but didn't remember her.

"Kazu-kun..."

I'm not used to being addressed like this by her, either.

Perhaps she once asked me for permission to call me 'Kazu-kun', just like she asked me to call her 'Kasumi'.

I may have forgotten about it, but Mogi-san remembers everything that happened within these loops.

"Kazu-kun, you said that you love me."

"...Yeah. I probably did."

"I agreed gladly! I told you that I love you, too!"

"......"

I only remember that she said 'Please wait until tomorrow'. That's it. I don't remember anything else.

"You don't remember, huh?"

I can't give her an answer.

"Can you imagine how happy I was? I tried my best during all these loops in order to make you pay attention to me. I styled my hair, I tried applying mascara, I tried to appeal to you, I researched your hobbies, I learned what you liked to talk about... and you know what happened? A miracle occurred! Your attitude clearly changed. I realized that you'd gotten interested in me. You started to accept my confession, even though you'd been turning me down before. You even confessed to me. Every time you did that, you got my hopes up. Each time, I thought a joyful 'continuation' was awaiting me. I thought that this recurrence might finally end. But you know what? ...Kazu-kun—"

Mogi-san looks at me expressionlessly.

"—every time, you forgot."

I can't bear her gaze and look downwards.

"Even when you forgot, I had high hopes that you would remember the next time. Each time you accepted my confession, each time you confessed to me, you raised my expectations over and over. But in the end, you didn't remember anything. I soon gave up hope. But you know, if someone confesses to you, you can't help but hope anyway! A miracle could happen, after all. And that's why each time it happened, I was injured anew."

I can't imagine going out with her. But Mogi-san made real something that I wasn't even able to imagine. She made me fall in love with her. Perhaps this is why some of my memories are vaguely preserved.

But in the end, winning me over like that was meaningless.

There's nothing to look forward to.

After she wins me over, it ends right there.

What awaited her was a perfect one-way love.

An absolutely one-sided love that stays unrequited even after she gains my affection.

"So I didn't want you to confess to me anymore. But you came anyway. You still said that you loved me. And although I was so happy, the pain was even greater... so I had no other choice but to tell you this every time:"

Mogi-san says those words that I have definitely heard so many times before.

"'Please wait until tomorrow'."

My heart is aching.

All this time, she was the one most injured by those words—far more than I was.

But why doesn't she just end the Rejecting Classroom, then? Otherwise, her one-sided love will remain unrequited. Even if she has other reasons to preserve her box, she's definitely suffering greatly.

"Kazu-kun... do you get it? It's your fault that I'm suffering. It's all, all, all your fault."

"What's with that nonsense you're blurting out?" Maria interrupts her with an ill-humored look on her face. "What an extreme lack of responsibility. You're just forcing the responsibility for your pain upon Kazuki because you can't endure the agony of your own Rejecting Classroom anymore."

"...No! It's Kazu-kun's fault that I'm suffering!"

"Think whatever you want, but Kazuki isn't responsible. He can't even remember you. Kazuki has only been protecting his memories for the sake of his own goal, not for your rotten heart."

"Why... why would you know that!?"

"Why, you ask?" Maria stands up straight and sneers at her. "The answer is simple," she says nonchalantly. "Because it is I who has observed Kazuki Hoshino more than anyone else in this world."

"Wha—"

Upon hearing these caustic words, Mogi-san loses her train of thought.

She tries to utter an objection, but her mouth just flutters open and closed without forming any words.

I shut my mouth for a different reason. I mean, it's embarrassing when someone says something like that! Seriously.

"N-No, I've watched him for the same amount—"

"Your time is worthless." Maria dismisses her claim with a glib response. "Don't you understand how worthless your time is, just by looking at what you've achieved? Look at yourself in the mirror. Look at your hands. Look at your feet."

Mogi-san's face is covered with congealed blood that's turning black.

Mogi-san's hands are gripping a kitchen knife.

Mogi-san's feet are resting right beside Kokone's corpse.

"Please feel free to object. Insist that you watched Kazuki for as long as I did—if you really believe that your words have any weight."

Mogi-san seems stricken with regret, and turns her gaze downwards.

I'm unable to say anything to her.

"......heh, fufufu. You have watched Kazu-kun more than anyone in this world? I guess so. Perhaps it's just as you say. Ufufufu, but it doesn't matter! Why should it?"

She chuckles as she faces the ground.

"Hmpf, I pity you. So you broke at last."

"At last...? Ufufu... what are you saying?"

Without ever looking up, she points the kitchen knife at Maria.

"Did you think I was still in my right mind to begin with?"

She raises her head.

"Let me teach you a nice lesson, Otonashi-san! Everyone I kill disappears from this world!"

As always, her face remains expressionless.

"So it doesn't matter! It doesn't matter how long you have watched Kazu-kun if you're going to disappear anyway!!"

Mogi-san charges at Maria with the kitchen knife. I reflexively shout out Maria's name. But Maria just gazes at Mogi-san with boredom, seemingly completely unconcerned. She simply grabs Mogi-san's arm and pins her just like that.

"Ugh..."

Their difference in power is clear, so much so that I'm embarrassed to have called out her name.

"Sorry, but I have mastered all the major martial arts. Seeing through your straightforward movements is as easy as twisting the arm of a baby."

The kitchen knife falls out of Mogi-san's hand and clatters to the floor.

Disarmed, Mogi-san stares in shock at the kitchen knife.

"...as easy as twisting the arm of a baby...?" Mogi-san whispers painfully, her gaze still directed at the knife. "......ufufufu"

And yet, even though she should be in pain, Mogi-san smiles.

"What's so funny?"

"What's so funny, you ask? Ufu... haha, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

She laughs with her mouth wide open. However, there is no smile on her blood-stained face. Despite her laughter, the corners of her mouth aren't lifted. Her eyes are wide open rather than softly narrowed.

Maria wrinkles her forehead upon hearing this loud laughter.

"Of course it's funny!! After all, you compared grabbing my arm to twisting a baby's arm! You, of all people! You, Aya Otonashi, said that! Marvelous! Absolutely MARVELOUS!"

"I fail to see what you find so amusing."

"Really? Then tell me, could you actually twist a baby's arm?"

I still can't understand why she was laughing, but Maria seems to be bereft of speech.

"Oh well, you captured me. Good for you. Congratulations. So? What was your goal again?"

"......"

"I know. I've heard it numerous times, after all. It's to end this repeating world, right? It's to obtain a box, right? So what are you going to do? You just have to kill me in order to end it, right?"

"...right."

"I know that you have mastered all those martial arts, Aya Otonashi! You told me yourself! Why are you... why are you acting like you outwitted me? Isn't that ludicrous? Did you think I didn't realize that? How embarrassing! It's embarrassing, isn't it? Listen... I've returned to the past just as often as you, you know? I know you very well! You disarmed me. You're holding my arm. So what—?"

Mogi-san becomes serious again and starts speaking in a hushed voice.

"What are you going to do to me next?"

"......"

Maria does not reply.

"Oh you gentle, gentle Otonashi-san. You, who can't kill me. You, who can't torture me. You, who can't even break a single bone in my body. Are you able to twist the arm of an oh-so weak baby while remaining so elegant as to reject violence? No. You can't. Of course you can't."

I see. So this is the main reason Maria keeps losing.

As soon as violence is the only solution, Maria can't do anything. And Mogi-san is aware of that.

"Think about it for once. Didn't you realize I've had the opportunity to kill and 'reject' you this entire time? Do you know why I refrained, even though you were clearly a nuisance? For one thing, you're so kind as to rescue me from that accident! But that's not all. I noticed it the first time you discovered that I was the owner and lost against me."

Maria clenches her teeth.

"You're not even worthy of—being my opponent."

A long time ago, Daiya told me that the protagonist is inferior to the transfer student because of the latter's informational superiority.

But his thesis was wrong.

The Kasumi Mogiprotagonist has more information than the Aya Otonash*transfer student.

"I've had enough of this pattern," Mogi-san says in a exaggeratedly bored tone. "…But unlike the previous times, Kazuki's here now."

"Well yeah. So, should we try out something new?"

Mogi-san kicks the handle of the kitchen knife. The knife spins across the bloody floor and slides to a stop at my feet.

"Pick it up, Kazu-kun."

Pick what up? The kitchen knife?

I look down at the kitchen knife again.

There's even more blood on it now. It's giving off a deep, ruby red glow.

"Hey, Kazu-kun? Do you love me? If so—"

I raise my face and watch her lips.

"—Give me that knife and let me kill you."

—- What?

I don't understand. I know what her words mean, but I can't understand what she just said to me.

"Didn't you hear me? I told you to give me that knife so I can kill you."

She repeats herself. I guess I heard her correctly.

"Mogi, have you gone mad?! Don't you love Kazuki?! Why would you want such a thing?!"

"You're right. I love him! But that's exactly why I want him to die. Didn't I say that it's Kazu-kun's fault that I'm suffering? Therefore, I want him to get out of my sight. Isn't that the logical conclusion?" Mogi-san says as if her line of thought were completely natural. "To begin with, why do you think I took your bait, even though I knew that Kazu-kun would come? Well, I've got a proper goal! I've made a decision—the decision to kill him," she spits out as she takes a peek at me. "I can 'reject' Kazu-kun by killing him. He will get out of my sight. If that happens, I'm sure I won't suffer anymore. I will be able to stay here forever."

"Mogi, what's with that nonsense—ugh! Ah—"

Maria groans suddenly and falls to her knees. She's holding her left side.

"...? Maria?"

Something is sticking out of her left side.

...eh? Stabbed?

"Ah—Ma-Maria!"

Maria looks at the object protruding from her left side. Clenching her teeth, she pulls out this foreign body without hesitation. She moans again in pain. Scowling at Mogi-san, she throws away the object that she has just removed.

I look at the item that's rolling on the floor. It's a folding knife.

"You let down your guard. You may have mastered all kinds of martial arts, but that doesn't make you immune to surprise attacks. This cheap knife isn't effective against boys at all, but it should be more than enough for your slender body, right? I'm sorry, but your constitution stays the same in this world no matter how much you train!"

Maria tries to stand up and fails—apparently her wound is rather serious. Blood is steadily leaking out from her left flank.

"I've been through a lot as well, you know. So I thought it might be better to keep that on me. That knife is always hidden on my person."

Mogi-san walks over to me. She crouches down and picks up the dropped kitchen knife.

"Ah—"

Although she is completely defenseless while bending over, I'm unable to do anything beyond emitting a small sound. I can't move; I feel petrified. I can't do anything but stand there like a nail in a wall.

My body's been left behind. My mind is frozen because it cannot accept the reality taking place before my eyes.

"Didn't I say so, Aya Otonashi? People who are going to disappear anyway don't matter."

Mogi-san sits on top of Maria and raises the kitchen knife.

She swings it down with no hesitation. Over and over. Over and over. Until Maria's breathing has definitely ceased.

During the entire process, Maria did not let out a single disgraceful moan.

"If you had stayed a mere eyesore like a bunch of flies that swarm around feces, I would have spared you. But no, you had to make a move on my Kazu-kun!" Mogi-san complains and stands up.

Maria isn't moving anymore.

Mogi-san looks at the kitchen knife that she has repeatedly stabbed Maria with. Then, she throws it at my feet.

I reflexively look at the knife that's been soaked in the blood of Kokone and Maria.

"Well then, you're next, Kazu-kun."

I crouch down and reluctantly reach for the kitchen knife. I immediately jerk my hand away when I feel the slimy touch of blood. I gulp and reach down once again. My hand quivers. I can't grasp the knife properly. I close my eyes and force myself to grab it. I open my eyes again. Because I'm holding the weapon that killed Kokone and Maria, my hand quivers even more. I almost let go of it. I grab it with both hands to suppress the quivering.

Aah, I can't.

I definitely can't do anything with this knife.

"What are you doing, Kazu-kun? Come on... give me the knife!"

No, it's not just me. No one could do anything with this knife.

That means—

"...Who made you do all this, Mogi-san?"

Mogi-san also shouldn't have been able to commit those atrocities. She can't possibly have been able to do this alone.

Unless she's been manipulated by someone.

She stares at me in confusion.

"...What are you talking about? Are you trying to suggest that someone made me do this? Is there something wrong with your head, Kazu-kun? That's impossible!"

"But I fell in love with you."

"......what are you getting at?"

"Even after experiencing more than 20,000 recurrences, even after getting cornered, you would never do such a thing, Mogi-san. The girl I fell in love with would never do such a thing!"

For a moment Mogi-san seems deeply affected by my words, but then she scowls at me and replies. "...I see. So you want to make me spare you by appealing to my emotions, huh? I'm disappointed. I never thought you were such a coward. So you really don't want to die for my sake, huh?"

There's no way I would want to. I don't want to die, and I don't believe that my death would bring about her salvation.

"......Kazu-kun, do you think murder is an absolute taboo?"

"...Yeah."

"Ufufu, how upright. Yeah, you're right. You're perfectly right!" she says and peeks into my eyes. "—Well, enjoy your stay here for your entire life... no, for all eternity," she says coldly—probably because she knows that this is the exact opposite of what I'm wishing for. "After all—handing over my box would kill me."

In other words, she will die if the Rejecting Classroom comes to an end? Maria never mentioned that.

"Do you understand? If you escape from this box you'll kill me. Do you think I'm lying? Do you think I'm just making up random excuses in order to protect the box? I'm not! You'll understand if you think about it! I mean, why do you think my wish is to return to the past?"

Why does someone want to reverse the flow of time? Maybe because a tragedy occurred...?

"Didn't you wonder why I'm always run over by that truck? Admittedly, there were times when Aya Otonashi sacrificed herself for me... ah, by the way, there were also times when you sacrificed yourself. But most of the times I was the one who died, right?"

"Ah—"

Don't tell me—

I've finally come up with a plausible explanation.

Why doesn't Mogi-san end the Rejecting Classroom?

That traffic accident is an inevitable phenomenon within the Rejecting Classroom. Someone, usually Mogi-san, falls victim to that accident. I don't know why, but it always happens.

'I think—once something has happened, it can't be undone.'

I once said those words. Maria's answer was that 'Your sentiment is normal. And apparently, the creator of this Rejecting Classroom also had the same thoughts.'

So, say I had the opportunity to destroy the box. Would doing so also mean—

"Are you prepared to make me the victim of an accident?"

—killing the girl I love?

I hear a dull clang. I fail to recognize it at first, but then I realize that the knife has fallen to the ground.

"You're not even able to hand the knife to me? How miserable..."

Mogi-san walks up to me. She picks up the kitchen knife.

She will probably kill me now.

Because she has committed so many sins, only by continuing to do so can she justify her acts. If she doesn't, she will be crushed by the pangs of her conscience. She can't return anymore. She has lost control, so she will go berserk and kill me.

Most likely—'Kasumi Mogi' stopped being 'Kasumi Mogi' after she killed her first victim.

Her expressionless face is splattered with the blood of two girls.

She crouches down to my level because I can't stand up.

She wraps her arms around me while holding the knife. She crosses her arms behind my neck and touches the blade to my neck, right above my carotid artery.

Mogi-san's face draws nearer to mine and she opens her mouth.

"Please, keep your eyes closed."

I do as instructed.

Something soft touches my lips.

I instantly realize what it is.

At last, a certain emotion wells up from deep inside me. It's the emotion that didn't well up even when I saw Kokone's corpse or when Maria was being stabbed.

It's anger.

I—can't forgive this.

"It's not the first time I kissed you, you know? But I'm sorry that it's always so awkward."

I can't forgive this. I mean, I can't even remember what she's talking about. And I'm sure I won't remember this instance, either.

"Bye, Kazu-kun. I loved you!"

Is Mogi-san really satisfied with memories that she can't share with anyone? Well, she might be, considering how accustomed she's become to solitude.

A sharp pain runs though the side of my neck.

I betray Mogi-san's request and open my eyes.

Mogi-san is upset, but she can't avert her eyes in time. Aah, our eyes have finally met properly.

I grab her hand.

From the corner of my eye, I can see how the red liquid flows from my neck onto her hands and then drips down.

"...What are you doing?"

"I... can't forgive..."

"You can't forgive me? Fufu... I don't really care. I'm aware of that. But it doesn't matter! It's farewell already anyway."

"That's not it."

"...What is it, then?"

"It's not you—I can't forgive the Rejecting Classroom that's so removed from everyday life!"

I tighten my grip on her wrist. Her delicate hand is pinned down by mine. My sight turns black for a moment. My neck wound might be fatal.

"Le-let go of me—!"

"I won't!"

I still don't know what to do. I'm sure I can't kill her. But I clearly realize one thing: this Rejecting Classroom is unforgivable. Therefore, I absolutely must not disappear.

"Let me kill you! Please, let me kill you!" she shouts. Even though these are supposed to be words of rejection, it sounds to me like she's crying in pain, almost like a lament.

...ah, I see. I finally noticed.

She is crying.

On the surface, she's expressionless as always. She hasn't shed any tears. I look straight at her. She averts her eyes immediately. Her thin and fragile legs have been trembling the entire time. She can't pick up on her own feelings, having lost her facial expressions long ago. She can't even realize that she's crying. Her tears don't flow anymore, probably because they dried up long ago.

I'm sorry that I didn't notice this before.

"I won't let you kill me. I won't let you reject me."

"Don't mess around with me! Don't torment me any more!"

I'm sorry, but I can't listen to her entreaty.

Thus—

"I absolutely refuse to abandon you to solitude!" I shout.

Maybe it's just my imagination, but I've had the feeling that Mogi-san relaxed for a second.

And yet...!

"Ah—"

My vision turns completely black. A blow to my cheek temporarily restores my sight. The scenery has changed. Mogi-san's blood-stained slippers are right before my eyes. My hands aren't gripping her wrist anymore; they're lying powerlessly on the ground.

It's not that she did anything else to me. I just collapsed on my own.

Even though I was sure that I had finally found a way to persuade her, I can't move anymore. I even have problems moving my mouth.

"I'm an idiot."

I hear her voice.

"Just because of this, just because of such a phrase, I—"

Unable to raise my head, I don't know what her face looks like as she speaks.

"............I must... kill. I must kill. I must kill. I must kill. I must kill. I must kill. I must kill. I must kill. I must kill. I must kill. I must kill. I must kill."

As if instructing herself, she repeats the same phrase over and over.

Her slippers shift. Someone's blood splashes on my face. A glint of light reflects off the kitchen knife into my eyes.—ah, she's planning to use it.

"Now it really is farewell, Kazu-kun."

She crouches down and gently strokes my back.

"—I must kill..."

And then she plunges the blade—

"—I must kill myself."

—into her own body.

27,755th time

"—I must kill myself."

…and so I desperately instruct myself. This is the only way. The only way to prevent myself from being possessed again by my fake 'self'.

I will abandon everything.

This is the only way I can think of to atone for my sins.

I thrust the kitchen knife into the middle of my torso.

I fall on top of Kazu-kun. His face is right in front of mine. He has finally realized what I have done and is looking at me with eyes wide open.

Please don't make such a face. I try to calm him down with a smile—but then I notice that I can't smile anymore. I have not smiled or cried in ages, after all.

My body temperature is dropping rapidly.

I hope the filth inside me will disappear along with my body heat...

—I absolutely refuse to abandon you to solitude!

Thank you. But that is not possible. It has been impossible from the very beginning.

How could anyone disagree? I mean—

—I already died a long time ago.

0th time

Aah, I'm going to die.

Even as I continued living for an unbelievable length of time after being blown away by the truck, these thoughts repeated over and over. I can't possibly survive such an impact. I'm going to die. My life ends here.

N-No, I don't want to—

These are the silly thoughts of someone who has never seriously considered the concept of death, even though she's thought about dying numerous times.

To die. To end. There's nothing ahead. I've finally realized its dreadfulness, now that I'm about to die.

If this was going to happen anyway, then couldn't it at least have happened before love changed my world?!

Now that I understand love!

I have a goal!

I haven't done anything for the one I love yet!

—this is just too cruel.

"Mhm, this is a situation that draws my interest."

A man (woman?) appears out of the blue. I have no clue as to where he came from. To begin with, how can he even speak to me normally? I can't even clearly perceive where he is standing. My body is so twisted that I don't even know where I'm looking. Still, that person looks straight at me. This is an impossible situation. Ah, no, that's not right. I've somehow been transported to an unfamiliar place and I'm now standing in front of that person. While this place leaves no impression on me at all, I realize that it's very special.

"Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about your accident. Such incidents are perfectly ordinary and happen all over the world. What draws my interest is that this accident happened near the boy that I am interested in."

What is he talking about?

I've heard that you see your life flash before your eyes when you die, but I haven't heard anything about being brought to such a weird place and talking to such a strange person.

Is this person the grim reaper or something?

He's a person who doesn't look like anyone in particular, while somehow resembling everyone at the same time.

One thing is for sure: he is deeply charming. His appearance, his voice, his fragrance—they all fascinate me.

"I want to see how this boy reacts to 'boxes' used in his vicinity. Ah, but I am also interested in how you use your box, of course. After all, I am interested in all of mankind. That being said, you're naturally but an 'extra'."

The person smiles as he says these incomprehensible things.

"Do you have a wish?"

A wish?

Of course I have one.

"This is a box that grants any wish."

I accept it.

I immediately realize that this box truly has the power to grant any wish. Therefore, I'm absolutely certain that I must hang onto this box.

If I can't change the end of my life, then please, let me just redo a bit of it. I'm fine even if I just get to change what I did yesterday. There is something I have left to do. Even if it's just yesterday, I can still convey my feelings. If I'm able to do just this, I'm sure that I won't have any regrets. No matter what his answer is, I won't have any regrets. Please, turn back time a tiny little bit. I'm aware that this is impossible. But still, it's what I wish for.

After I make that wish, the box opens like the mouth of a carnivorous beast and vanishes, merging with the space around me.

Alright. Things should be fine like this.

"Fufu—"

The charmingly smiling person comments on my wish with a single sentence.

"—that is what you get when you restrain yourself."

Then he disappears.

And I get thrown out of this special place that somehow left no impression whatsoever on me.

I'm now inside a chamber enveloped in darkness. An intense stench assaults my nose, as if countless corpses have been abandoned here. It's a disgusting room, so much so that a dank prison would seem like paradise in comparison. Aah, if I stay here for just an hour I'll collapse. But the room starts to get painted in white. The whiteness makes me lose sight of the boundaries of the room. Then, as if someone lit a stick of sweet incense, a sweet fragrance erases the rotten smell. Each time I blink, things like a blackboard, desks and chairs appear. The room is finally filled up, and the only thing left to do is to summon the necessary actors. Insert the people who were in our classroom yesterday. If that's possible, I can redo things. I can redo yesterday.

But no matter how cleanly painted over this place may be, it is still at heart that disgusting chamber and far worse than any prison.

This is the world after my death, full of white—oh so white—and sweet hope.

So, yeah. If it looks like I can't achieve my goal—

—I will have to destroy this box myself. Before the pretty decorations here come unstuck, exposing the shameful and disgusting sight of that chamber to me once more.

5,000th time

"Why not just kill him?"

Haruaki-kun jokingly offers this off-the-wall idea after I consult with him.

6,000th time

"Why not just kill him?"

Haruaki-kun jokingly offers me the same solution for the n-th time after I consult with him.

7,000th time

"Why not just kill him?"

Haruaki-kun jokingly offers this reasonable solution.

8,000th time

"Why not just kill him?"

Haruaki-kun jokingly offers this logical conclusion.

9,000th time

"Why not just kill him?"

Haruaki-kun jokingly offers this self-evident truth.

9,999th time

Haruaki's own words have already taught me how to erase him.

"How you can make sure that you definitely don't meet a certain person anymore?"

Haruaki has offered me various solutions - so many solutions that I'm sick of hearing about them. Eventually, we arrived at the conclusion that feelings of guilt are the best way to make oneself avoid a certain person. It’s the same conclusion yet again.

And, just like always, he also tells me how to create those feelings towards someone.

"Why not just kill him?"

Haruaki-kun jokingly suggests the last method that's left to me.

"That’s the ultimate solution. Well, if you do kill him, it's not even a matter of meeting or not anymore, heh!"

Why is it necessary to 'reject' Haruaki-kun? Well, it's because I think his disappearance will have a big impact on me and Kazu-kun.

Living in this world is like playing a Tetris game that never ends. At first you try your best to reach a new high score. And that's fun. But midway through, you stop caring about your score. After all, it doesn't matter whether you reach a new high score or not; it's just a game that’s going to be reset and then you have to start all over again. Nothing changes even when you reach Game Over. You still try your best to have some fun, but if you play half-heartedly, the screen fills up in no time. It gets boring. It gets uninteresting. It gets tough on you. It gets painful. You lose the will to even rotate the blocks. You just don't care. But even though you don't care, the blocks keep coming. No matter how often they reach the top, you can't stop the game. If I stop, I'll die. And I don't want that. After all, I still have a goal. I have to spend today with no regrets. That's why I must somehow change this system as a whole.

And Haruaki's an important part of this system.

Therefore, I have to 'reject' him.

"......can you tell me once more how I can create feelings of guilt?"

"...what's wrong Kasumi? Well, not that I mind..." Haruaki says, just like always.

"Why not just kill him?"

It's exactly the 1,000th time he’s given me this reply.

Right! That's the only way. Yeah, it can't be helped. You understand, right? You already told me this 1,000 times, so you understand, don't you? Rather, you want me to do it, right?

—you want me to kill you, right?

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